Merged
by asearcher
Summary: What happens when two beings are in the same space? An examination of such a concept in the ST universe. The story starts two years after the last episode of Enterprise These are the Voyages.
1. Chapter 1

Disclaimer: I own nothing. I thank the creators and owners of these characters for allowing me to write fan fiction for my own and others enjoyment.

**Merged**

Chapter One

Admiral Archer was happy. Truly happy. The Federation, although going through growing pains, was definitely healthy. Oh, there were the minor skirmishes and petty political battles between old enemies but overall, the alliance was holding. New species were applying for membership almost every week.

One particular planet in the Beta quadrant, Tanansis V, was eager to pursue membership. The Tananites were a humanoid specie which had had warp capability for over 1000 years. They just didn't like to leave their planet unless absolutely necessary. While they were not active players in the galaxy, they did appreciate the advantages that joining the Federation would bring, including medical and technical knowledge. Jonathan had been sent as a diplomat to secure the deal. He felt that Gardner was also giving him a little holiday from his standard desk jockey job, allowing him to again be out among the stars that he loved.

They had left a little earlier than was absolutely necessary to allow for some exploration related activity. The Tananites had indicated that there was a star cluster within 300 parsecs of the planet with some interesting properties, not unlike the geysers of Yellowstone. The Vulcan's had asked to send a science team from the Vulcan Science Academy with the diplomatic mission to better record the phenomena of the cluster and to also accompany the diplomatic mission to the planet. Starfleet had agreed. Every 47 days, as counted by Earth Standard, the cluster would put out a common solar flare, reaching out into space and then 10 standard Earth hours later would calm down, almost as if it hadn't occurred at all.

During the flight out to the star cluster, Archer had taken it upon himself to meet with the Vulcan science team. If nothing else, having been around T'Pol for the number of years they had served together, along with carrying the katra of Surak had lead to an appreciation of Vulcans that he never would have believed he would have growing up. Then he had seen them as the enemy. Now he looked at them as, if not friends, at least acceptable colleagues.

It was early one morning about three days into their flight when he found the contingent in the messhall having their standard plommeck broth. He was used to this from the many mornings he spent with T'Pol at breakfast. Then he and Trip would often tuck into eggs and bacon while T'Pol ate her broth. Knowing that these Vulcans were not as likely to be as tolerant of such dining habits, Jonathan choose a cheese quesodilla with salsa, pomegranate juice, and coffee.

"Mind if I join you?"

The lead scientist, Sprong, answered for the group of three. Jonathan had met them earlier. The other members of his team were Sontek and T'Vlan, younger than Sprong but each still besting Archer himself by at least ten years. "Not at all Admiral. Please." As Jonathan sat down, the scientist continued. "We were just discussing the duties we would each take when we take the shuttle pod out to the…you called it a star geyser?"

"Yes. We have a place on Earth where through thermal heating, water trapped below the surface will rise cyclically in plumes. While the star phenomenon has a different cause, the effect is similar. Geyser seemed like a good word for it."

"Agreed. We can accept the terminology as a reasonable descriptive name for the effect."

Sontek spoke up. He was the youngest of the group and was, from what Archer could tell, a very handsome man by Vulcan standards. By human standards, he did not seem to be very strong but looks could be deceiving. Archer figured he was about T'Pol's age. "Who will be piloting the shuttle?"

Archer looked up, a spear of tortilla with melted cheese on his fork. "I will."

T"Vlan's eyebrow rose and Archer was reminded of T'Pol. "You are an Admiral."

Archer smiled. "Yes, I am. Your point?"

T'Vlan's voice was calm. "Admiral's usually do not pilot shuttle craft."

Archer finished chewing and swallowed, taking a sip of his coffee before answering. "This phenomena is not usual. And I have extensive experience in missions of exploration in addition to being an excellent pilot."

"T'Vlan considered his words. "Your reasoning is acceptable if not entirely logical."

Archer almost laughed. He would have if it had been T'Pol. She would have understood the illogical need of humans to laugh. These Vulcans would not.

The rest of the meal continued, the four going over their plans which would take place the following day. It wasn't quite the same as working with T'Pol but Jonathan did appreciate the thoroughness of the planning. They missed nothing. The data would provide fuel for researchers for many years to come.

Everything had gone well. The collection of data when the star geyser had erupted was handled with little difficulty. The only thing that was slightly off was when Archer had needed to pull the shuttle pod back suddenly. Neither he nor the Vulcans had thought that the apex of the geyser would come out as far as it did. When the previous data had been analyzed, they'd noted that the furthest measured plume had only streamed out about 50 parsecs. This time, the plume reached further and Jonathan had needed to pull back suddenly, almost having the shields destroyed when the power of the geyser touched them. However, no harm, no foul and the data collection had taken place as planned. It had been a spectacular show.

When the ship reached the Tananite system, the scientists had joined him and the Earth ambassador, Phillip Hurst on the shuttle craft. Just before they left the ship which had carried them to the planet, a call had come in regarding a freighter whose warp core had gone critical and had to be dumped. Without propulsion the freighter was dead in the water, and the Trafalgar had left at warp six to provide rescue assistance.

Due to atmospheric anomalies, entering the Tananite system required a more gentle grade to land on the planet. This also mean that the shuttle craft was in re-entry mode much longer than normal. A minute after fully entering the atmosphere of the planet, the electrical system of the shuttle completely failed. Jonathan tried everything he could to regain control of the shuttle, but ultimately, the best he'd been able to do to assure that the crash landing would not take place in a populated area. His final thoughts before the shuttle craft hit the ground of the alien planet was 'At least I'll die in space and not as some desk jockey.'

XoXoXoXoXoXoXo

When Jonathan opened his eyes, something did not seem right. The perspective was off as if the placement of his face was somehow different. As he pulled his hand up to touch his face, he found himself looking at a hand not his own. What was weird was he was controlling it. It reacted to his thoughts, his commands. His mind screamed, _'What the hell is going on here?!'_

Suddenly, there was another feeling. It was similar to what he'd felt with Surak, but totally different as well. With Surak, the feeling was of someone taking up a room in the house. This…this was more like a roommate. Mentally he heard a plea.

_'Do you mind not shouting?'_ The thought was calm and logical but tinged with fear.

Archer tried to be calm, but it was a losing battle. He didn't understand what was happening but he sure as hell didn't feel right. He started to notice a strange taste, like sucking on an old United States penny. It somewhat nauseated him. A strange smell was also present. His hearing seemed more acute. He reached the hand he was controlling up to the side of his head, feeling the tip of an ear. Feeling it as if it was his own. It was pointed. It was the last thing he felt before falling into oblivion.

XoXoXoXoXoXo

Sontek had awoken to a most unpleasant reality. Somehow he had a human in his brain. What was more, he knew this human. It was the Admiral he'd spent the last few days with, studying the star cluster and who had been piloting the shuttle down to the planet. He didn't understand it, couldn't comprehend how this had happened, but logically, he had to accept that without further data to dispute it, it was true.

When the Admiral had mentally screamed, he found that the mental shields he had cultivated since childhood were barely enough to keep him from being overwhelmed. He had, during his coursework at the Vulcan Science Academy, taken courses on working with other planetary species including humans. But working with them and having one inside ones' head were totally different concepts.

Sontek pulled himself to a sitting position and found himself in some sort of medical facility which did not look familiar. A humanoid which stood about seven feet tall was in the room, wearing what might have been medical scrubs.

"Are you a doctor?"

The humanoid turned around. "Yes. I am Doctor Twaz'a'ka. I was your surgeon."

"What did you do? How are the others?"

"I'm afraid that only two of your group survived. I understand there was little left of the crashed shuttle. It is a miracle that you two survived."

Sontek tried to remember what had happened. He remembered the initial entry, although longer than usual had gone smoothly. It was after they entered the atmosphere that things had gone terribly wrong. The human pilot, Admiral Archer, was trying to regain control of the shuttle. Sprong had tried to fix the electrical system but the damage was too great and they did not have enough time. T'Vlan had sat, hands calmly in her lap, entering as best she could into a meditative state, knowing she would likely die and wanting her katra to remain at peace when the final connection to this existence ceased. Ambassador Hurst had prayed to some God, asking for mercy on the souls of the people in the shuttle.

The ground had come up quickly. Admiral Archer had somehow assured that the populated capital city they had been approaching was missed. Instead, they had hit a bog of spongy material. However, the bog contained sturdy trunks of something similar to Earth trees, and these tore the shuttle apart. Everything had gone black until he had awoken here.

"We did what we could. The body of the iron based life-form was damaged beyond repair except for his brain. Your body was intact, but your brain was damaged and you were not likely to survive. We decided to do a merging."

"A merging?"

"Yes. Although the body chemistry differences initially presented an obstacle, we were able to address it with the infusion of Tananite eel TNA. It was able to reconcile the differences in your respective DNA structures."

"So we are now one being?"

"Yes."

"Why did you do this? Could you not contact the Trafalgar?"

"No. They were too far away. Both of you would have died without our intervention. It is Tananite doctrine that we will not allow a life to cease to exist if there is a way to prevent it. This was the only way to meet that doctrine."

"But that is not our way. Vulcan or Human. Neither species would choose this path."

"That is not important. Life is important. You and he will live."

"Can this be reversed?"

"Not without both of you dying. We will not allow that to occur. You will continue. You will live."

Sontek sighed, suddenly aware that he had never done so before. Sighing was not…Vulcan. He realized at that moment the sad reality that they would face. Neither Vulcan nor Human. They now existed as an anomaly, as a freak. A thought suddenly entered Sontek's mind of a place on Earth. A museum. Ripley's Believe It Or Not in the hometown of the human who would now become closer to him than a brother, than a lover. Somehow they would have to learn to co-exist as the same being. It was not a pleasant prospect. He put himself into a meditative state until his human side regained consciousness.

XoXoXoXoXoXo

Archer awoke. This time a soothing feeling greeted him, full of logical calm. It was like nothing he'd felt before. It was within him, but yet alien.

_'Admiral. I know this is strange to you, as it is to me. However, what is, is. We must learn to accept this situation. I'm sure it is not a pleasant prospect to you as it is not to me. But it is what we are.'_

_'What situation? What do you mean by 'what we are?'_'

_'You now co-exist with me. Your life was saved but at the cost of your body. We share mine now.'_

Somehow Jonathan understood the truthfulness of the statement. Nothing felt right. The way his body moved, smelled, felt. It was all different. He recognized that what he was feeling was as if he'd been inside Surak instead of the other way around.

"What happened?" His voice sounded different, but somehow familiar. Then he realized why. It was Sontek's voice. He suddenly felt afraid, felt a cold chill along his spine. And he realized that this was only partly true. It was their spine. His and another's. His and Sontek's.

"Oh, God!"

_'Yes. Invoking the name of a deity is logical for you. But please stop shouting.'_

_'I'm not shouting.'_

_'Yes, you are. It is illogical to argue with ourself.'_

_'Ourself?'_

_'That is how we will need to be. We are now one. We are merged.'_

_'I don't want to be merged.'_ Archer wasn't going to take this without a fight.

_'Nor do I. However, apparently the only way we can end it would be to commit suicide. It would be illogical to do so at this point. Perhaps in the future, but for now, we need to see if co-existence is possible for us to handle.'_

The two beings, now one looked at each other mentally. The part that was Archer, in both of their consciousnesses, retained his body image. The part that was Sontek retained his. In their mind's eyes they were still separate, different beings. Cognitively, they understood that their physical reality had changed. Emotionally, and Archer could tell that Sontek was feeling emotions about the situation although he was handling them as any good Vulcan would, both could not accept what their new reality was. It would be a long climb to reach acceptance, even internally, and neither was sure they were up to the challenge.

They both realized, however, that time was both their enemy and their friend.


	2. Chapter 2

**Merged**

Chapter Two

The Trafalgar returned to Tanansis V a little less than 65 hours from when they had launched the shuttle craft. The crew of the freighter had been taken to a nearby planet at which repair plans could be made. A beacon had been placed on the now derelict freighter to indicate that the ship had not been abandoned and the crew would be reclaiming their ship as soon as a new warp core was obtained.

When Captain Clark had heard of the shuttle accident, he was shocked. The idea that Admiral Archer, Ambassador Hurst, Sprong, and T'Vlan were dead was a hard concept to get his head around. The fact that Sontek had survived was the only good news out of this horrid event.

The Trafalgar's engineer, Commander Stevens and a team of his crew had gone down to the planet to reclaim what was left of the shuttle craft. They brought up the pieces and laid them out in the shuttle bay, reconstructing the wrecked craft as best they could. Analysis began immediately and they found that the star geyser's plume had weakened the electrical system. The extra time spent in re-entry had been too much for the system and that had lead to the catastrophic failure. Commander Stevens kicked himself mentally for not taking all of the variables into account when he'd declared the shuttle craft free of any damage and had allowed the Admiral and the rest of his group to use it to reach the surface.

What was left of Jonathan's Archer's body, along with the remains of the others on the shuttle were brought to the ship's morgue. They would be returned to their respective planets. Captain Clark was sure there would be military honors like no other. Admiral Archer was a hero that would be mourned by beings on many planets. He had also made quite a few enemies and Captain Clark felt sure there would be celebrations on several home worlds, the Klingon's and Romulans included.

Captain Clark thought back over the past five years, time that had seen the Romulan threat appear and the ugly, horrid war that had been the result. The Romulan's played dirty, using nuclear weapons, coming out of their space like locust. The ships used to battle the scourge had often been older models, primitive in many ways to the top ships of the fleet. Admiral Archer had been a hero in that war, helping to find a way to end it that didn't show weakness. It had been a strange request to negotiate the end of hostilities and creation of a neutral zone over subspace, but Archer had been willing to do so if it meant the war would come to an end. He had seen enough blood shed in his career.

Ambassador Hurst was a great loss as well. Hurst had been instrumental in having sixteen planets join the Federation over the past year. His skill and expertise dealing with other alien cultures would be a skill greatly missed. Yes, Earth and the Federation had lost two Titans. They would be sorely missed.

The chief medical officer, on the Trafalgar had been informed that they would have a Vulcan as a patient. Doctor Shaffer and Captain Clark had been asked to meet with the Tananite medical team before the transfer of the patient, Sontek. They headed down.

When they arrived at the medical facility, they were met by the Tananite Vice- Chancellor, Yyat'e'ze, as well as Doctor Twaz'a'ka. They were shown into a small conference room. After being offered refreshments, the four sat at an octagonal table.

The Vice Chancellor spoke first. "Our world is saddened that the lives of so many ceased. All Tananite's hold life as the most precious gift the universe offers."

Captain Clark answered in kind. "Thank you, Vice-Chancellor Yyat'e'ze. We too wish our visit to your planet had not ended in this way. Earth and Vulcan both lost honored persons."

Doctor Twaz'a'ka joined the conversation. "Yes. Although from the communications we have maintained, we are under the assumption that you believe only one has survived."

Doctor Shaffer agreed, "That is correct. We have four bodies in our morgue. Only Sontek survived."

"No. Two survived." Doctor Twaz'a'ka said this calmly but with absolute certainty.

Doctor Shaffer shook his head. "That is not possible. I've confirmed that the bodies of the four in the morgue are the other four from our landing party."

The Vice Chancellor stepped into the conversation. "Ah…I think I understand the problem. You do not understand. Let me explain. We had to perform a merging to save the two. The one named Sontek…"

Captain Clark nodded his head. "Yes, we know he's in your medical facility."

The Vice Chancellor continued. "…and the one called Archer."

Captain Clark's voiced what he and Doctor Shaffer understood, "Although it causes me great sadness to say it, we know that Admiral Archer is dead."

Doctor Twaz'a'ka was adamant. "Not dead, merged."

Captain Clark and Dr. Shaffer looked at each other, a confused countenance on both of their faces. "What is this 'merged?'"

Doctor Twaz'a'ka explained, "It means that we were able to save the brain of Archer by placing it in the body of Sontek."

"You mean that Sontek is dead? You did a brain transplant?"

"No. They are both alive. They are merged. They are one. They will both continue. They will both live."

"That's impossible!" Captain Clark's exclamation underlined his amazement. If what these two Tananites said was true…

"It's immoral!" Dr. Shaffer's face was red and his eyes were flame. "What gave you the right to do this to them!"

The Vice-Chancellor was stunned by the responses by these humans. He'd understood that humans too treasured life. He'd read some of Earth's poetry and literature and had been heartened by the references to the joys of living. He was now uncertain if joining this Federation was in his planet's interests. "If we had not taken action, they would have both died. This way, they both live. Life is precious. It must be maintained at all costs."

At that moment there was a knock at the door. Doctor Twaz'a'ka went to open it. Standing in the threshold was Sontek with a male who was likely a nurse. The man with Sontek indicated, "He is prepared to leave, Doctor Twaz'a'ka.

Sontek stepped haltingly into the room and sat in one of the chairs not taken. His movements were awkward as if he was not in full control of his motor skills. The man looked pale, especially for a Vulcan.

"Sontek? Are you okay?"

"We're fine."

"We're?"

"Yes. I am here and so is Admiral Archer. I don't understand fully what has happened but we are both here."

So it was true. Captain Clark was still skeptical. "Admiral?"

A perceptual change appeared as the Vulcan's face and body suddenly became more animated. Shoulders squared, the jaw tightened, and the eyes took on a decidedly human look. It was somewhat disconcerting to see this change. "Yes?"

"They are telling the truth? You are alive?"

"I guess in a manner of speaking I'm alive. I still know I exist. I still feel, still think. I don't feel right, though. I'm not sure it ever will."

Doctor Shaffer's anger had continued to build and this was the final straw. "I demand that you turn back this procedure."

Doctor Twaz'a'ka said quietly, "No. We can not. To separate them now would cause both to die. Death is not acceptable where life is possible."

Captain Clark turned back to Archer, "Do you want this to continue?"

"I honestly don't know yet. It's fine for now"

Doctor Twaz'a'ka spoke again. "I have put together a file on this case. It will provide all the medical background necessary to follow this situation once you leave our world." He turned to Sontek. "Sontek?"

The countenance changed again and the Vulcan returned to his normal look. Totally Vulcan. Totally inscrutable. "Yes?"

"I need to let you know the prognosis. We are not sure that your side of the merging is fully stable. As we told you, you suffered brain damage. If anything happens to acerbate it, you could still die. Cease to continue."

"I wondered. I have not been able to enter fully into the Vulcan disciplines as I have in the past. I believed it was due to Admiral Archer's presence. I understand now." He stopped for a moment and then quietly asked, "If I died, would Archer also cease to continue?"

"No. As long as it is not the body that dies and nothing happens to Archer's brain, he should continue even if your brain dies. However, if your brain were to die, necrosis would set in and the tissue would need to be removed, within twenty-four of what you call Earth standard hours.

"How long would Archer live if that happened?"

"As long as you."

"Will he experience Vulcan cycles?"

"Anything a Vulcan would experience, so too will Archer."

"Hmmm. Fascinating." Sontek turned silent as if he was contemplating the facts he'd just heard.

_'What are you getting at, Sontek?'_

_'I am not getting 'at' anything, Admiral. I'm simply gathering data on our situation. It may prove important in the future.'_

_'Hmmm. Okay.'_

"Are…" Captain Clark was at a loss to know how to refer to the man(men) sitting in front of him, "…they allowed to leave?"

"Yes." Doctor Twaz'a'ka answered. "There shouldn't be any major side effects. They will be able to continue."

The Vice-Chancellor rose and walked to the door, opening it. "We will be in contact with your Federation. In light of this situation, we may need to learn more about the Federation before we decide to join it. Thank you for journeying to us. Again, we are greatly saddened by the loss of three of your colleagues."

Sontek's face seemed to be in a state of flux as if he wanted to say something but was undecided as to whether to do so. He finally rose, unsteady, as if each movement required negotiation. "Vice-Chancellor, Doctor Twaz'a'ka. Thank you for your assistance."

Captain Clark and Doctor Shaffer looked at each other as they rose and walked out behind Sontek. Each nodded to the Tannanites and murmured their goodbyes. This was certainly one of the strangest meetings either man had attended.


	3. Chapter 3

**Merged**

Chapter Three

Sontek(Archer) walked out of the conference room, still moving without the grace either man usually exhibited. It was as if both beings were trying to control the motor actions of the body, with neither having success due to the interference of the other one. Finally they stopped a bit down the hall, almost causing Captain Clark to walk into them.

_'Admiral, I've been moving this body all of my life. I believe I can handle it adequately without your interference.'_

_'Sorry. It's hard trying to exist inside of someone else. I don't have any experience with dealing with this situation. Who would?'_

_'It is…understandable. But please just let me move us.'_

_'I'll try.'_

"Sorry. I'll try to warn you if we're going to stop suddenly again."

They started moving again in a more relaxed manner.

The human half thought, _'I have a question for you though. Why didn't you let me speak to the Vice-Chancellor about his reluctance to join the Federation?"_

_'I would think that was obvious to you.'_

_'Indulge me.'_

The part that was Vulcan sighed for the second time in his life. _'Admiral. This culture was willing to completely impose its will on two other cultures without even considering the ramifications of that action. I know you are familiar with the Vulcan concept of IDIC.'_

_'Yes. Infinite Diversity in Infinite Combinations. I've learned about it from both T'Pol and from Surak's katra.'_

_'I know. I…remember…it is strange remembering through someone else's memories. It is similar to a mind meld but somehow different as well...'_ Sontek suddenly stopped his musing. This musing activity was not…Vulcan. It must be another of the human traits he was experiencing. He decided to continue the description of his actions. _'And I know that the Articles of Federation embrace a similar idea.'_

_'Yes.'_

_'I do not believe that the Tananites would embrace such a concept. They would not be willing to allow those cultures that do not value life to the same extent their culture does the ability to exist. They would spread dissention through the Federation councils. They could potentially derail it. Do you wish that?'_

The part that was Archer shook his head, resulting in 'their' head shaking. _'I understand. You are right.'_

Captain Clark must have noticed the gesture asking, "Did you say something, uh…um… It's difficult to know how to refer to you."

The Archer part answered. "If you think it's difficult for you, you have no idea of how difficult it is for us."

_'We will need to address this name situation, Admiral.'_

_'I think if we're going to be together like this, you can call me Jon.'_

_'That is acceptable.'_

_'Hmmm…speaking of which…since we have to come up with a name to be referred to…how would Jontek work? It sounds similar to your name but incorporates my name as well.'_

_'A logical solution.'_

_'Then you are in agreement?'_

_'Yes.'_

"You may refer to us as Jontek. If you need to speak to a particular side of us, ask for that side specifically."

Captain Clark and Doctor Shaffer looked at each other, Dr. Shaffer finally breaking his silence. "This is going to be a strange."

From the expression on Jontek's face, it was obvious that Archer was replying. "You have no idea."

They continued walking toward the shuttle Captain Clark and Dr. Shaffer had parked on the landing tarmac, reaching it quickly. As soon as the three men, or four if you counted the number of life forms present, entered the shuttle craft to return to the Trafalgar, Archer became aware of a scent he'd never really noticed before. He suddenly realized this is what humans smelt like to Vulcans.

_'How did T'Pol stand it?'_

_'We use numbing agents when dealing with species who are odiferous to us."_

_'No. I mean, T'Pol eventually stopped using them.'_

Jonathan felt an eyebrow rise. It felt strange knowing that the eyebrow was on what was as much his face as Sontek's. The experience was fascinating. He questioned the use of that word. It was not one he typically used.

_'I imagine she eventually got "used" to it.'_

_'I don't know how. We are a rather smelly species aren't we?'_

_'Yes.'_

It was Jonathan's turn to use a visual expression, his mouth turning into a somewhat sarcastic grin, eyes crimped.

Jontek started to seat himself at the piloting control but Captain Clark indicated he would be flying the shuttle.

"You know that the crash was not my fault."

"Yes. I know. However, we do not know how this merging will affect your abilities, Admiral..uh…Jontek?"

"Just drop the Admiral for now. We'll get it sorted out on Earth."

"Very well, sir."

The flight back to the ship was quick and when they arrived, the question of quarters needed to be addressed. It was decided that since Archer's quarters had been a bit more fitting his rank, they would move to there. Sontek and Sprong had shared a room and T'Vlan had been the single occupant of hers. Jontek asked to be allowed to pack up his colleagues' possessions.

Dr. Shaffer was ready to leave for sickbay and Captain Clark to go to the bridge. Clark took a moment to answer the request which had obviously come from the Vulcan part of Jontek. "Of course. If you need any containers, the quarter-master can supply those to you."

"Thank you." The countenance changed again and the two Starfleet officers were aware that Admiral Archer was now addressing them. "Uh, Captain Clark and Doctor Shaffer? I'd like to be the one to break the news to Admiral Gardner and anyone else at this point. You are not to speak with anyone about this situation until you have my permission."

"Aye, sir," both men answered in unison. They then headed off to their respective posts.

After moving Sontek's possessions into the larger quarters, they walked back to the room to pack up Sprong's items. There were several sets of Vulcan robes, some meditation tools, a copy of the Kir'Shara, and a small analytical PADD to work out computations and write reports. Jon felt Sontek's deep grief at the loss of his mentor. He was unsure how to convey his empathy.

_'Thank you.'_

_'What?'_

_'For your concern. I can feel the waves of your emotions. They are a bit much for me and my mental shields are somewhat weakened.'_

_'I know he was your mentor. The loss must be hard on you.'_

_'Yes.'_ The final items were packed into the box and Jontek closed and sealed it. They went to the next room to gather T'Vlan's items. Although there were not as many items in evidence, the room reminded Archer of T'Pol's room on the Enterprise. As Jontek began to pack similar items as Sprong's, Sontek asked, _'You care for this Vulcan woman? This T'Pol?'_

It was a question that Jonathan had kept buried. After the first mission they completed, the one where the Klingon had been returned to his home, Jon had developed a respect for the woman that transcended what was then his dislike of the species in general. He found her insights valuable. Over the next few months, he realized that respect had grown into something else. A deep friendship, and, if he were truly honest with himself, a lust for the woman as well. Knowing the latter was something he as Captain would never succumb to, he focused on the friendship feeling the strength of it grow until he realized he was in love with the woman. Then the Xindi and the Expanse happened.

Jon wasn't sure in 20/20 hindsight if it had been wise to push everyone away. At the time it seemed right to do so. He'd been sent to save the lives of everyone on his planet. Failure was not an option. So he'd done everything he needed to do to succeed, even what felt like selling his soul itself. The Expanse had left deep marks on his psyche.

What was almost as bad, though, was seeing the woman he loved turn to another man. Turn to his best friend. He knew he was as much to blame, however. She did not understand human emotions and took his actions as evidence that he didn't want her anymore. He'd been shocked to learn later that she had also developed a trellium addiction, at least partly due to her desire to develop immunity to the toxin. It had almost killed her and he felt that if he'd been there for her, she would never have gone down that path. And maybe she would have never turned to Trip as well.

After the Xindi threat had been alleviated, Jon had been unsure what the relationship between Trip and T'Pol had become, especially when their baby was discovered and later died. T'Pol had been devastated and he knew that she and Trip still talked on a regular basis. He wasn't about to stick his nose in where it didn't belong so he went back to the easy friendship he'd had with T'Pol, keeping his desires hidden, sometimes even from himself.

During the Romulan conflict, there was again the need to focus on military goals and any thoughts of T'Pol were buried even deeper. Although they often visited him in his sleep. When Trip had died, he'd seen T'Pol make the decision to go back to Vulcan to teach. The Vulcan Science Academy had started a Department of Federation Studies and had offered the chair position to T'Pol. They'd kept in touch but with his duties, he hadn't pursued anything deeper.

_'You wish a relationship with this woman? A Vulcan?'_

Jon tried to bury it deeper. _'No.'_

_'You're lying to yourself. You do.'_

His heart ached as he admitted the truth. _'Yes. I love her.'_

_'I must meet this woman. This Vulcan who has…what is this human term "captured your heart?"'_

_'We'll see. After we get back to Earth.'_

_'Yes. We'll have to return these boxes to Sprong's and T'Vlan's families on Vulcan. I can meet her then.'_ They finished packing the box with T'Vlan's possessions and brought both boxes back to their quarters.

The Vulcan half of Jontek indicated a need to meditate. The Human half indicated that he needed to contact Admiral Gardner first. Sontek agreed that Archer's duty must come first. That was one thing about Vulcans, they understood duty.

Jontek sat down at the desk and asked the communications officer to patch him through to Admiral Gardner. When the communications officer started to suggest that Sontek should speak with Captain Clark if he had an issue, Clark himself intervened and told her to put the call through. Almost immediately, Admiral Gardner's confused face appeared on the monitor.

"May I help you?"

Jontek wasn't sure exactly how to approach this. "Uh…this is going to be a bit of a different report, Admiral."

Admiral Gardner's visage betrayed annoyance. "Do I know you?"

A lopsided grin appeared on the Vulcan. "Well, you know part of me. What have you heard about the accident on Tanansis V?"

Taken somewhat aback by the uncharacteristic actions of the Vulcan, Garner answered, "That the entire landing party was killed except a young Vulcan scientist. I assume that you are…" He looked down at his notes. "…Sontek?"

The Vulcan's countenance returned to standard Vulcan. "Yes, I am Sontek."

Gardner was confused. "I see."

"But there is more."

The annoyance was back and Gardner was almost at the end of his rope. "I'm not used to Vulcan's talking in riddles. Please get to the point."

In a cadence that was almost the late Admiral's the Vulcan continued, "Well. It seems that the Tananites have rather extensive abilities in prolonging life. When they mounted a rescue to the shuttle craft, they found me, Sontek, alive but with brain damage and likely to die."

"Go on."

"They also found Admiral Archer's body was beyond repair but his brain was alive. He was likely to die as well."

Gardner's face saddened. "He did die."

"Only his body."

"What are you saying?"

"I'm in here too. The Tananites 'merged' us."

A more surprised Gardner couldn't have been possible. "They…merged…you?"

"Yes. Both Sontek and I co-exist in his body. We are both alive."

"Oh, God! Jon?"

"Yes."

"And Sontek?"

"Yes."

"You choose this?"

"No. Neither of us did. The Tananites chose for us."

Gardner rubbed his face. Archer had never seen anything affect the man as deeply as this revelation obviously had. He looked uncomfortable.

"Jon. This is rather startling news. Do you mind if I get back to you?"

"I understand, Admiral. It's hard to deal with on this end as well."

The screen went blank and Jon was left with a feeling of depression. _'That went well._

He had no idea the direction his life would be taking now and he could tell that Sontek had similar concerns. Sontek suggested that meditation would help both of them. Jon didn't disagree. They spent the next few hours trying to meditate through what had become their life.


	4. Chapter 4

**Merged**

Chapter Four

The next morning Jontek awoke feeling nauseated. The Jon half was suddenly aware that the reason for the nausea was his residual scent in the room. Jontek headed to sickbay knowing that for the mission that had gone so terribly wrong, Vulcan nasal numbing compounds had been stocked. Before leaving, he put in a request that the room be fully cleaned. After obtaining the numbing compound, Jon realized how difficult it must have been for T'Pol in those first few months on Enterprise and suddenly was ashamed of his assumption that it was Vulcan arrogance for her to use them.

_"You thought she was being arrogant?"_ Sontek found the concept to be a curious reaction. _"I would have thought you would have understood that Vulcans would not engage in such subterfuge."_

_"My experience with Vulcan's up to that time had been to see they were capable of much more than subterfuge."_

Jontek went into the mess hall, and chose a breakfast of oatmeal and fruit with tea to drink. Carrying his food on a tray, he sat down at a corner table. The room was deserted at that time of day, being a bit after the main breakfast rush. As he ate, the conversation in his head continued.

_"Aaahh…your father and his engine."_

_"Yes. Growing up, I saw how the Vulcans held back the completion of his work. Whenever there was a problem they could have helped him with, they held back just enough information to keep the project behind schedule."_ Jon thought this with a bit of bitterness.

_"And you didn't see that was for your benefit?"_ Sontek was truly curious.

_"WHAT! How could holding him back possibly benefit my father?"_

_"You humans only appreciate things if you have to struggle for them. If something is given too freely, your species either squanders the opportunity or you abuse the information and use it for negative purposes."_

Jon's pride was triggered. _"That's not true. Humanity has done great things with technological advances."_

Sontek conceded. _"That is true. However, you also almost destroyed yourself and your planet with many of those same technologies first."_

_"So did Vulcan. I saw what happened at the time of the Awakening through Surak's eyes."_

_"Yes. That is why we didn't want you to make the same mistakes of judgment. Your species is somewhat confusing to us. They have such great potential for achievements in the galaxy. The Federation is one such advance. I don't believe any other species known today could have developed a framework that would work with the long histories between the known galactic species."_

Jontek got up and put the breakfast dishes into the recycler. He went over to the beverage dispenser and ordered another tea.

_"Maybe if you'd given us the chance instead of holding us back, we'd have helped create the Federation sooner."_

_"I wasn't finished. After we discovered your species, we fully researched your history. Such violence. So many wars. We were greatly surprised after one such war that you would develop warp capability. We thought for certain that you would destroy yourselves instead."_

_"What do you mean 'after you discovered our species?' You worked with us contantly after first contact. What could you possibly have needed to research?"_

_"I see in your mind that T'Pol told you about her ancestor."_

_"Yes. But she said it was a story."_

_"Have you even known a Vulcan that could tell a story that is not somewhat based on factual information?"_

Jon considered that, _"No, but I thought that we'd sort of rubbed off on T'Pol. That this was just a foray for her into telling a fictitious story. She always was fascinated by the ability of humans to write pure fiction, especially scientific speculation stories."_

_"No. She was correct. Her ancestor returned to Vulcan with information on an interesting race that we should watch. She was sure your species was destined either for great things or for self-destruction. She had witnessed such confounding and conflicting behaviors. One moment, your species is activity beating the brains out of fellow humans and the next you are solving the problem of world hunger. Your constant switching between illogic and logic is confusing to Vulcans. You embrace emotion and yet are able to achieve great technological leaps in shorter times than any other species we have studied"_

_"You were confused, so you decided to hold us back?"_

_"Not exactly. We decided that we should try to guide you and make sure you were prepared for what you would find far beyond your solar system. We were afraid you would be a force that would create greater dissension rather than a force of peace. You've seen that space now and know how volatile things can get and how fast things can happen."_

_"Yes. Then what changed your minds?"_

_"Three things. One, you didn't destroy the Xindi."_

Jon reasoned, _"They didn't need to be destroyed. They were mislead and were only following what they thought would save their people."_

_"Yes. However, many other species that embrace emotions would have found a need to retaliate. The Klingons would have destroyed any species that had tried to destoy them, simply FOR TRYING to destroy them, as would the Andorians. I can name multiple other species that would not have been able to see the other side of the equation."_

_"You said there were other reasons."_

_"Yes. The second was Soval's reports on his observations of humans. He was amazed during his years on your planet how paradoxical humans are. You may seem to be going down the wrong path but most times you self correct to reach an acceptable destination. Quite illogical but one can not argue that it has worked for humankind."_

_"And the last reason?"_

_"There was the re-discovery of the Kir'Shara. We'd forgotten how to see our path clearly."_ It was obvious the reverence that Sontek placed upon the Kir'Shara.

This thought triggered the memories that Jon had of his mental conversations with Surak.

**Syrran did something to me, before he died.**

**He choose you.** Jon had answered that with a bitter laugh. **You don't trust Vulcan's, Captain. Given your experiences with them, I can't say I blame you. The culture you've come to know isn't the one I helped to create. My people have strayed and someone must restore them to the path.**

Jon had answered quietly but with passion. **You've got the wrong man.**

**Sorry, Captain, there's an earth expression 'We're stuck with each other.' Don't fight what's been given to you. Open your mind and your heart and the way will become clear.**

Later Surak had explained his logic. **You can accomplish what Syrran could not.**

Jon still resisted, **But Syrran…**

Surak had continued, **…was a Vulcan, and you're human. Which means you are untouched by a culture that can no longer see its own imminent destruction. You can not let what happened to the Vulcans of my time take place again. Find what my people have lost.** It had been hard for Jon to see the man Surak had been succumb to the radiation poisoning and he choose to grant his request. He choose to do what he could to retrieve and return the Kir'Shara to the Vulcans.

_"Yes. I spoke with Surak about that when I carried his katra."_

If there had been another soul in the mess hall in that moment, they would have seen a somewhat disturbing sight in which the countenance of the Vulcan sitting at the table drinking tea seemed to take on constantly changing emotions mixed with moments of stolicism.

An eyebrow went up. _"Jon! You would accuse T'Pol of being arrogant?! Du yemek fi'shal pudva-tor fanet! I can't believe you think YOU returned my people to the true path!"_

The eyebrow went down but then both eyes opened and the forehead crinkled a bit. _"Well, Surak did choose me to carry his katra and to bring the Kir'Shara back to the Vulcans."_

A nod, followed by a considered expression next crossed the Vulcan face. _"Yes, but it was you only because Syrran didn't have anyone else to act as a vessel for Surak's katra. The fact that the opportunity to utilize your human strengths was presented to Surak in that serendipitous development and that he decided to ask you to utilize them for the greater good of Vulcan was only logical. We are grateful that you choose to accept that request of course, and honor your actions, but you did not bring about the Vulcan Restoration. Learning the truth of our history and the true words of Surak did that."_

Lips pursed and the eyes downcast a bit. _"Ummm, well, yeah, hearing you say it that way puts a different spin on it. I guess my being there could be seen as a lucky coincidence."_

_"Sorry to…ahh…I find an interesting turn of phrase from your thoughts…"burst your bubble?" Am I using that terminology right?"_

Jon felt sheepish. _"The usage is correct. I suppose I had it coming."_

_"Indeed."_ Sontek suddenly switched gears. _"Jon. Would you like to see your body?"_

_"Huh? What? That's a strange question."_

_"Not really. When a Vulcan's katra leaves its body, it often looks back at the shell it has left. It can provide a sort of peace."_

_"I've read about humans having similar visions in near death experiences. But all the humans who have talked about it eventually reentered their bodies and lived. It would be strange to see my shell, as you call it, and know I can't go back."_

_"I didn't think about that aspect of it. Still, the question stands. Would you like to see your body?"_

_"I imagine I'd be the first human to be able to describe the experience and most probably the last. Yeah, that's worth it if not for any other reason."_

Having arrived in the morgue, the body was pulled out of stasis. Jon was shocked at the condition of his body. Severe lacerations and broken bones were evident. He could see where the Tananites had surgically removed his brain to merge it with Sontek's. Otherwise, the head area was the only place where extensive damage had not occurred. Jon suddenly became truly aware for the first time that he would definitely have died in the accident. There was no way he could have been pulled back from the brink other than the merging. Still, if he'd been the one to decide his fate, instead of the Tananites doing it for him, being allowed to die would have been his choice.

_"This is harder than I thought it would be."_

_"Yes. I know you feel many things about our situation and very few are positive. However, we have our reality to face. I do not see how we can change that."_

_"You're right, Sontek. But I'm still human, even if I only exist within your shell now. I have to grieve my loss of the 'me' I was. That is normal for humans."_

_"I will grieve with you, Jon. I too find I have lost something of myself as well."_

_"We will grieve together."_

Jon requested a pair of scissors from the morgue staff and cut a clipping of his hair. It seemed somewhat illogical but he felt he needed something of himself to hang onto. Sontek suggested that they return to their room and meditate. Jon remembered again back to the time he shared his shell with Surak's mind. This situation was similar but not the same. He was more than katra and yet was not. It was confusing and disconcerting.

Yes, meditation would be best. Jon suddenly felt what could only be considered a mental hug. He suddenly understood that Sontek had reached into his human mind to find what a human might need at a time like this and was doing his best to provide a supportive role to alleviate the depression than Jon was feeling. He gratefully accepted the gesture as they returned to their quarters.


	5. Chapter 5

Merged

**Merged**

Chapter Five

The next few days were definitely different as both sides of Jontek learned more about how a merged being would operate. Jon had read about symbiotic species in the Vulcan database. He knew that in some way, that was what they had become since both had brought something to the union. Both would have died without the other. He had read in the file that Dr. Twaz'a'ka had provided Dr. Shaffer that much of Sontek's brain had been so damaged it had to be removed, leaving room for the transplant in the skull cavity. His own brain had been connected to what was left of Sontek's and the infusion of the Tananite eel TNA had allowed the two disparate biological systems to work together. It was truly a medical miracle but was not one that either Humans or Vulcans would have pursued.

Jon was actually not sure but it seemed that whenever he'd had Vulcans in his mind (which come to think of it, had happened quite a few times,) there seemed to be a wall present that prevented him from going too deep into their thoughts. He felt it now and recalled it being there when Surak resided in his mind. Even when he'd allowed T'Pau or any other Vulcan to mind-meld with him, a wall was present. Only with T'Pol did there seem to be a softening of those walls but he hadn't been willing to follow that thread too deeply with her. He knew that the Trellium had damaged her neuropathways and he didn't want to injure her nor compromise her privacy.

Now that the merging had occurred, both beings had been learning to accept that they were in this situation together. In the most personal of circumstances, there was always someone there. While Jon was still finding it difficult to constantly be in contact with another, to some extent, Sontek had accepted it. After all, Vulcan bonding meant that the two who were bonded were always in contact with each other. The problem for Sontek was that the person he was now in constant contact with was his own gender and a very different species. He was thankful that his mental shields were mostly intact. He had learned much more about Jon than Jon had learned about him. Whereas Jon's thoughts were almost always available to him, he knew most of his own could still be shielded from Jon. What Jon received from him were either surface thoughts, those parts he allowed Jon to experience, or those that leaked out when he was feeling the strain of keeping his own emotions controlled.

It was like that now. Jon was working on reports that he would need to turn in once they arrived back to Earth. Sontek found that he could hide behind his own mental shields and Jon would feel little or no input from the Vulcan. It provided a bit of personal space in a rather crowded mind. However, since Jon was concentrating on his work, Sontek found that if he quietly searched through Jon's mind, the human didn't even realize he was there. He allowed Jon to work and decided to dig deeper into the man who shared his shell.

Sontek was impressed that Jon seemed to fit into the Vulcan mode much better than he believed that a human could. He attributed that to the long years that Jon had spent with the Vulcan Science and First Officer, T'Pol. He could tell from Jon's memories that she had begun to teach him some of the Vulcan mental disciplines including meditation. However, he also realized that the human's fear of hurting or compromising her had resulted in Jon not allowing the lessons go too deep. Sontek followed Jon's memories deeper and realized that T'Pol had been trying to lead Jon to her, the residual traces of her forays into his mind revealing the truth of those moments to him. Jon had obviously not realized that she was doing so and T'Pol had been unwilling to push the simple human mental walls that Jon had erected away, although he could tell her mental disciplines were certainly strong enough to do so if she'd been so inclined.

He also realized that the human still carried a residual of the katra of Surak which had helped Jon understand what Vulcans following the true path were like. He was impressed seeing the lingering mental shields that Surak had kept in place during his sojourn into that human mind, although he was sure that Jon had never realized they were there. Surak had led Jon through flawless logic to make the choice to help his people find their way again but had also quickly figured out that for humans, an emotional imperative must be present for action. Sontek now saw Surak's discovery that it was the channeling those emotions that was a source of power for the homo sapiens of Earth. He became aware that Surak had allowed Jon to believe he was truly the only one that could bring the Kir'Shara and its lessons back to the Vulcan people. This revelation brought about another epiphany about the man whose life was now entwined with his own.

Jon was a truly principled human being. Sontek saw that while the man had a healthy ego, a firm understanding of his abilities, and was confident in his decision making, he also had deeply seated values, morals, and ethics. He could see that Jon did not see these in a rigid black and white, but would rather use whatever it took…logic, emotions, data, and compassion among others to decide what course he would take. He followed this trail of Jon's mind deeper and was shocked at the things the man had faced during his life, especially during the mission to destroy the Xindi weapon.

It was along that thread that he unburied a memory. He saw what Jon had faced on the Selaya. There had been rumors ever since that time on Vulcan. It was said that Jonathan Archer disliked Vulcans so much that he'd killed an entire ship of them instead of stopping his mission to save Earth. Seeing the memory of what had happened, Sontek understood how hard it was for Jon to give the order and only did so once he understood from Dr. Phlox that there was no physical way to help them. Ever. He also began to understand how much this human truly cared for the Vulcan woman, T'Pol. He could see the human's fear that she was becoming like the Vulcans they'd found on the ship, that he would lose her to the Trellium poisoning. He saw how much it hurt him to think that he may have been the cause of her Trellium addition.

The Vulcan continued to explore the human's mind and saw Jon's struggle to hold fast to his values, how ultimately Jon had made decisions which he felt were forced upon him, and how following those decisions had cut him deeply and brutally. Sontek felt the buried pain that Jon had pushed down and built walls around. Examining it, he felt despair, sadness, and Jon's fear that he would ultimately be damned for doing the things he had done. That the man had been able to continue as the Captain of the Enterprise, had found a way to work with the Xindi, had been able to play a pivotal role in bringing about peace with the Romulans, had been deeply involved in bringing about the Federation of Planets, and had his diplomacy skills utilized as an Admiral was impressive. Sontek understood that this was a man who had earned the respect of so many and realized how unfair many of the Vulcans had been to discount the human and his compassion.

Suddenly Sontek felt the stirrings of the human mind asking for him.

"_Sontek?"_

"_Yes, Jon?"_

"_I wondered what had happened. I didn't feel you there. It was strange."_

"_I wanted to give you some time to be you, to allow you to do your work."_

"_Thanks. I didn't know you could do that."_

"_Well, I believe that T'Pol may have shown you some Vulcan mind disciplines."_

Hearing the name in his mind brought a vision to Jon of those times after the Forge when he and T'Pol had spent some time learning how to meditate. That was just before Trip and T'Pol's daughter had been discovered. He recalled the joy and the pain that his two friends had faced upon learning of and then losing her. He had cut off further sessions with T'Pol feeling that he might be intruding upon Trip and T'Pol's relationship. He'd instead indicated to T'Pol that he felt he had learned what he needed to be able to continue on his own. He had turned to those techniques many times over the years and had found that they helped to keep the demons from the past from playing upon his conscious mind.

"_Yes. I'll be eternally grateful to T'Pol for her help."_

"_Jon, you forget that I know you love her. You admitted it."_

Sontek felt Jon's discomfort with that. _"Ummm, yeah. I guess you do. But you need to know that T'Pol has never shown that she would reciprocate."_

"_That's not true, Jon."_

"_What?"_

"_T'Pol has tried to reach you before."_

"_A long time ago, maybe. Before the Xindi, before the Romulans, before Trip and their baby, before Trip died."_

"_Well, when we get to Vulcan, we can find out for sure."_

"_NO! I won't subject T'Pol to anything that might be uncomfortable to her. We're friends and I don't want to risk losing that."_

"_Jon. If I'm right about this, it is only logical to find out."_

"_And what if you're wrong? I don't want to take the chance."_

Their conversation was cut short by a knock at the door. When Jontek opened it, he found Dr. Shaffer on the other side.

"I wanted to see how you were doing. Other than the visit to sickbay the other day, you haven't been into sickbay. According to Captain Clark, it seems you've been avoiding people on the ship."

"Well, there hasn't exactly been a path beaten to our door."

"I think that most on the ship are trying to follow your led. This is a most unusual circumstance and I'm not sure anyone really knows how to address it."

"I know you find it immoral."

"Yes. It was wrong of the Tananites to do this to you without your permission. But what has been done has been done. At this point, I want to know if I can help you in anyway. You know we'll be arriving back to Earth tomorrow."

"Yes. We have an appointment with Admiral Gardner in the afternoon. And we have been requested to meet with Ambassador Soval at the Vulcan Compound afterwards."

"Well, Jontek, if there is anything I or anyone else can do to help, please let us know. I can't imagine that this situation is easy for either of you."

"It's getting somewhat easier, now that we're getting to know one another."

"Hmmm. I suppose that is inevitable. Until later." With that, the Dr. Shaffer left.

"_Jon?"_

"_Yes, Sontek?"_

"_I think I should let you know more about me."_

"_I have been getting to know you."_

"_No, you've learned mostly unimportant things or pieces I've wanted you to see. I think I need to be more open with you. You've been very open with me."_

"_Humans often are."_

"_Well, I think that I should teach you some mental disciplines to allow you to only be open when you wish to be."_

"_Are you saying there are ways to block thoughts?"_

"_Yes. We call them mental shields."_

"_Does that explain those mental walls I've felt whenever I've been in mental contact with Vulcans?"_

"_Yes. We learn how to create and use them from childhood. By the time a Vulcan reaches the time of bonding, we are able to shield our thoughts. As we grow older, the ability to do so becomes greater. We all strive to become as adept in the mental disciplines as Surak."_

"_And you're saying your walls have been up since we were merged."_

"_Yes. I believe I need to lower them now to let you learn more about me. And I need to teach you how to shield your thoughts."_

"_Why?"_

Jon felt an emotion from Sontek that seemed to almost be shame. _"I've been learning about you Jon. Your memories are too easy to enter. If this had been a mind meld, I would have asked your permission before entering your mind. I guess that since you are a part of me now that I felt I had the right to do this. Now I'm not sure it was the right thing to do."_

"_If we are to coexist, we'll have to be comfortable with each other. I am willing to learn."_

"_Good."_ A growl from Sontek's stomach made them realize it had been awhile since they'd eaten. _"But let's go have lunch first."_

"_Ok. I just need to send this report onto Admiral Gardner."_ Jon hit the send button and the report of the mission was off to his superior. He figured it would be a major topic of conversation at the meeting the next day. Then Jontek headed out the door to fulfill the natural need to eat.

XoXoXoXoXo

Entering the mess hall, they found the room was full. Well, no time like the present to stop avoiding people. They chose a vegetable lasagna, obtained a glass of water, and then turned toward the crowd to find a table. As they did so, the room became silent. Jontek quickly scanned for a table but there didn't seem to be a free one.

A young woman lieutenant with red striping at her shoulders stood up from one of the tables she was sharing with a young man and walked over to Jontek. "Sir, if you'd like to join us, we'd be honoured."

"Thank you Lieutenant…"

"Sawyer, Sir. I'm one of the engineers on the ship."

"Thank you. We accept."

As they sat down at the open spot closest to the wall, they noted that conversations started around them again although at a much quieter level then before. The man who'd been eating with Lt. Sawyer also had red striping on the shoulder. Jontek asked him, "Are you also an engineer?"

"Yes Sir. I'm Ensign Martin."

"How long have you been on the Trafalgar?"

Lieutenant Sawyer answered, "I've been one the ship for about a year. Ensign Martin joined us right before this mission."

Jontek nodded. He cut a piece of his lasagna and placed it into his mouth. He noted as he chewed that glances were being made around the room. It was obvious that the people in the room were curious to see them. Jontek put down his fork, closed his eyes, and breathed out.

"Are you alright Sir?" Ensign Martin held concern.

"Yes. I guess this is just something we have to get used to."

Lt. Sawyer said, almost apologetically, "Well, it isn't everyday that a Vulcan and a Human end up sharing a body."

"That is an understatement." Jontek picked up his fork again to try to get through the meal. He took another bite of the Lasagna, chewed and swallowed. After a sip of the water, he speared another piece. The silence at the table was palpable.

Ensign Martin looked over to Lt. Sawyer. He started shifting in his chair. "Uh, Sir. I hope you don't mind the question but the crew has been wondering…"

"Yes?"

"Well, since Admiral Archer's body is, uh, well…"

"Dead?"

"Yes. Dead, will there be a funeral?"

This was surreal. If it wasn't really happening, Jon was certain he would have thought it was the strangest dream he'd ever had. He'd never even remotely thought such a question would be asked but he could understand the morbid curiosity. Sontek waited to see how Jon would handle this. "I'm not sure. It hasn't been decided."

Ensign Martin nodded his head and then kept his eyes firmly on his food. "I see."

Lt. Sawyer spoke up, "Do you have any plans when we get to Earth tomorrow?"

"I suppose I'm not sure about that either other than reporting to Admiral Gardner." He took one more bite, another sip of water and then decided that perhaps it would be best to come back when there were fewer persons in the mess hall. Small steps. "If you'll excuse me, I do need to be going."

The two Junior officers nodded. Jon understood that they'd been trying to do their best under an extremely difficult set of circumstances. The fact that they were still young and relatively inexperienced certainly played a part in their questions. Still, he admired their willingness to try to embrace the unknowns that space travel always planted firmly at the door of humankind. In a room full of people they were the only ones who invited them to sit at their table. As he put his dishes and the almost untouched block of lasagna into the recycler, he grinned. In the work of the ship's grapevine, Lt. Sawyer and Ensign Martin were sure to get some points with the crew. He turned and walked back to his cabin.

XoXoXoXoXo

The rest of the day had found Sontek teaching Jon how to create simple mental shields. He didn't let Jon know that these were similar to the ones that a Vulcan toddler would use. For Jon, they were difficult to master. Finally after about two hours, Jon asked to stop. _"Do you feel that headache?"_

"_I've been feeling some discomfort but I didn't know what it was."_

"_Don't Vulcans get headaches?"_

"_No."_

"_I see. Well humans do."_

"_How do you deal with them?"_

"_We usually take an analgesic. I think we should go to sickbay for one that is compatible with Vulcan physiology."_

"_I concur."_

They headed out toward sickbay. As they walked Jon asked, _"So, Sontek, what type of things would you like to let me know about yourself?"_

"_I suppose we could start with my childhood."_

"_Okay. You were probably a cute kid."_

"_Vulcans are not…cute."_

"_Sure they are. I think T'Pol is cute sometimes."_

Sontek sent a withering mental look towards Jon. _"It is a Human attribute to do so. As I say, Vulcans are not cute."_

"_Okay, okay. I'll stop. Let's start again. Tell me about your family."_

"_Both of my parents are dead. They were on separate ships during the Romulan War. Unfortunately both were destroyed over the course of the war."_

"_Any brothers or sisters?"_

"_I have one sister. She is older than me by about 15 Earthyears."_

"_Are you bonded?"_

"_I had been bonded as a child but we had not experienced our Kun-ut Kali-fi. She was also killed during the Romulan War. Her name was T'Salin."_

"_That's a beautiful name."_

"_She was a beautiful woman. She came from a powerful clan. It would have brought great honor to my family to marry her."_

"_Did you love her?"_

"_It doesn't matter. We were bonded."_

They arrived at sickbay. Entering, they found Dr. Shaffer treating a minor abrasion. "I'll be right with you, Jontek."

They nodded. Sitting down in a chair to wait, they continued their mental dialogue. _"What do you mean it doesn't matter?"_

"_Vulcans do not put the same emphasis on love that humans do. It is enough to be compatible. Since Vulcans mate every seven years, if two people choose not to cohabitate, it is an acceptable arrangement."_

"_So you have separations? Getting together only for sexual relations?"_

Sontek sighed. _"You do not understand. Once we are bonded, we are never away from each other. Physically we may be parsecs apart. Mentally we are joined. That is why compatibility is more important than love. Vulcan's mate for life. If a Vulcan was to…to use an Earth expression, 'fall out of love,' they would still be joined. Thus compatibility is what Vulcan parents look for when they determine who will bond."_

"_There is no divorce?"_

"_None. Although if a Vulcan mate dies, it is considered acceptable for the one who lives to find another. Although that is seldom practiced, unless they are still in the early stages of marriage."_

"_Like the first year?"_

"_No. For Vulcans, it would be during what in Earth time would be the first few decades."_

"How can I help you?" The question was unexpected this quickly and Jontek was pulled out of his thoughts.

"Um, I have what I'm told is a head ache."

"Vulcan's usually don't have headaches."

"Yes. I'm sure I will experience many things that Vulcans don't usually experience."

Dr. Shaffer laughed. "I suppose that is true. Well, let me get a Vulcan painkiller." He went to a cabinet and came back with a hypospray. Placing it to the Vulcan's neck, he administered the drug. "Better?"

"Yes. I no longer feel the discomfort."

"Glad to be of assistance. Anything else you need?"

"No. Thank you, Doctor." Jontek left sickbay and started to head back to his cabin. Jon suddenly stopped and looked at his watch. _"There shouldn't be a crowd in the mess hall now."_

"_I am feeling a bit hungry. Three bites of lasagna does not make a meal."_

"_No it doesn't. Let's go remedy that situation."_ With that they headed to the messhall feeling a bit more positive than before.

Top of Form

Bottom of Form


	6. Chapter 6

**Merged**

Chapter Six

By the time the Trafalgar reached spacedock, twelve days after the event which had changed everything, Jontek had packed up their two sets of belongings. They'd provided the address of Jon's apartment to the material handlers to have Sprong's and T'Vlan's belonging sent there. Jon knew that the doorman of the apartment building would assure the safety of the items. Sontek had indicated that the Vulcan Compound would be an equally good place to send them but Jon had noted that having the apartment would give them more privacy.

Sontek had been somewhat confused at Jon's reluctance to stay at the Vulcan Compound while they were on Earth. Afterall, they inhabited his, a Vulcan's, body. What more logical place would be available? Jon pointed out that the Vulcan's were likely to have some difficultly accepting a Vulcan with a Human in his mind. He remembered clearly the attitude that T'Pau had initially when she found Surak in his mind. He knew he was mixing time eras to explain the situation but from the Vulcan point of view in Human terms that was akin to expecting the Emperor of Rome to set up shop in Harlem. This was just the reverse. For the first time, Sontek was a bit concerned for his side of the situation. He had realized things would change but Jon's point was well taken.

Captain Clark had offered to give Jontek a ride to his apartment building as it was close to his own Earth abode. His wife was picking him up and there was certainly room for one more. Many of Starfleet personnel had apartments in San Francisco as it was convenient for them when they were on Earth. At one time, the city had been ridiculously expensive to maintain an apartment for such short periods of time but after the onset of high speed shuttle craft and transporters, people could live pretty much where they wished and the costs had come down significantly. Clark and his wife had no children so city living was acceptable to both of them. Jontek accepted the ride.

As they waited outside of the Earthside lobby of the facility, Clark took a sip out of the bottle of soda he'd purchased at one of the kiosks. "You know, my great-grandmother used to drink this stuff out of a glass bottle. They used to have what they called deposits on them so that people would return the bottles so they could reuse them."

"Hmmm. Recycler's make that a lot more efficient."

"Yes." Clark's face turned more serious, "Jon?"

"I'm here, Tom." Now that they were off duty, the ranks could be dropped.

"Jon…I just want you to know that I wish you the best with this…uh…situation." He stopped for a moment and then added. "I wish Sontek the best as well."

Jontek sighed. "It is a concept that's a bit hard to get your hands around. But, there are symbiotic species on a multitude of planets out there. They seem to make it work."

"Yes, but those species have evolved like that. Humans and Vulcans are both very individualistic…well, Vulcans perhaps a little less so."

Jontek nodded. "I suppose that is true. I haven't really thought much about how this will go into the future. The present has been too much of a concern for the past twelve days."

Clark started to answer when a car pulled up. "Darling! I'm glad you're home!"

Putting his head into the car, he gave his wife a kiss, and then turned to Jontek. "Karen, this is Jontek. Jontek, my wife, Karen."

"Pleased to meet you ma'am."

"Karen, I offered Jontek a ride to his apartment. It's about two blocks away from ours."

"Of course, Tom." She popped the trunk open and the men dropped their belongings into it. They got into the car and started into the city.

As Karen drove, she stated, "I'm surprised you have an apartment in the city. Most Vulcans live in the Vulcan Compound."

"Yes ma'am. We have a bit of a different circumstance."

"Hmmm. Do all Vulcan's refer to themselves as 'We?'"

"No ma'am. It's a bit hard to explain."

Tom Clark looked over to his wife. "What have you heard from our mission, Karen?"

"Only that both Admiral Archer and Ambassador Hurst and two Vulcan scientists had died." She suddenly realized, "Oh, you must be the sole survivor of the crash!" Then confused she added, "but I thought your name was Sontek."

Jontek didn't want to go into detail. "It was at one time. Now it is Jontek."

"Oh, you know how those reporters are, getting names wrong like that. Well, we've arrived."

Jontek thanked both of the Clarks and retrieved the bags from the trunk. They walked up to the door and slid Jon's keycard in to open the door.

"Excuse me. I don't recognize you. Are you a guest of one of our tenants?" The doorman, George Betts, was very good at his job. It was one of the reasons that Jon had felt safe leaving his apartment for long periods of time. Earth may have solved many of the social problems but unfortunately, there were always going to be people that wanted what belonged to someone else.

Again, it would be easier to tell a half truth. "Yes, George. Admiral Archer gave me his keycard and said I could use his apartment."

"I don't think that an offer made before he died is right to follow up on after a person dies. Maybe Vulcans aren't aware of how Humans operate in those situations."

Jontek closed his eyes again, pursing his lips. How was he going to convince George that it was okay for him to use his own apartment when the man was under the impression, not unreasonably, that he was dead? "George. I'm going to tell you something and it can't be broadcast, at least not yet."

George looked at the Vulcan suspiciously. "What?"

"Well, Admiral Archer is not really dead."

This time George's face mirrored surprise. "What?"

"That's all I can say for now. But he did say that I could use his apartment. I also need to let you know that there will be two boxes arriving to the apartment within the next day or so. Would you please see that they reach Admiral Archer's abode?"

Feeling that he was now a part of a secret, George agreed. "I won't say anything. This must be some sort of secret mission that the Admiral is doing…I mean if they want people to think he's dead."

"Something like that. Thank you George."

"Um. If you're going to be staying here, I do need your name."

"It's Jontek."

George nodded and held the door open for them. They headed over to the elevators and took the first one up to Jon's apartment. Opening the door, they were greeted by the overwhelming smell of a human habitation. Since Jon had been working a desk for over two years since the Enterprise had been decommissioned, his rooms had definitely been lived in. Jontek removed the nasal numbing compound from his pocket and applied it. Jon quickly offered _"We'll get someone in here to do a deep cleaning tomorrow."_

Sontek mentally nodded. _"I guess I should have expected your home would smell like you."_

They entered the room. Sontek focused on a small kidney shaped pad on the floor. _"What is that?"_

_"Um, that would be Porthos's bed. He's my dog, a pet. I have a friend dog-sitting him. He's gotten pretty old, about 13 years old now. I don't know how he'll react to us. He liked T'Pol pretty well."_

An eyebrow went up. _"Did she like Porthos?"_

_"Yes. They eventually were quite friendly with each other. T'Pol would sometimes take Porthos for walks or play 'fetch' with him."_

_"Fetch?"_

_"A game for furry quadrupeds. You throw a ball, they 'fetch' it, that is, bring it back to you, and you throw it again."_

_"What is the logic behind the game?"_

_"There isn't any. Dog's just like to do it."_

_"I see. Will we be playing 'fetch' with this creature?"_

_"Porthos doesn't have a lot of energy to do it anymore. He mostly sleeps now."_

Sontek mentally nodded again. _"Your abode is aesthetically pleasing."_

_"I've had a professional decorator in. Occasionally, I've had to host small parties. It seems to set the right ambiance if the rooms look nice."_

_"So this isn't your choice?"_

_"Well, it is sort of. I mean, they showed me things, I said if I liked it or not. But no, I wasn't the designer if that's what you mean."_

They walked into the bedroom. It held a bed and a small dressing area with dresser and closet space next to the bath room. There was a desk and a small area with a meditation mat and candle. _"Do you practice meditation often?"_

_"Not as much as I probably should. I'm sure that will change. I know that Vulcan's pretty much meditate daily. T'Pol found it difficult to function when she'd been away from it for a few days."_

_"You know a great deal about this T'Pol."_

_"Well, she was my first officer for ten years. And we are very good friends."_

_"And you love her."_

_"Let's not go there."_

_"Why not?"_

_"I told you. T'Pol is my friend. I never want to lose that and I'm not willing to scare her off by letting her know I would really want more. The less she knows about that, the better."_

_"You are being illogical."_

_"Well, nobody said that Humans and love were logical. Now just drop it, okay?"_

_"For now, I agree."_

_"We need to get ready to meet with Admiral Gardner."_

_"Yes. We have 3.5 hours before our appointment. May I suggest we shower and then meditate?"_

_"Sounds like a plan."_

XoXoXoXoXoXoXo

3.3 hours later, Jontek walked into Starfleet Headquarters. He was walking towards the elevator when a guard stepped in front of him.

"Is there something I can help you with, sir?"

"I have an appointment with Admiral Gardner."

"You'll need to sign in and get a badge. We'll need to confirm the appointment before you can go up."

An annoyed looked crossed Jontek's face, surprising the Guard. He'd never seen a Vulcan show emotion like this. "I'll need for you to come over here and wait."

Jontek understood the guard was just doing his job. After all, very few people knew the truth that Admiral Jonathan Archer still existed inside of the Vulcan shell. How many would believe it if they were told? He gave a bitter laugh. **Damn few of them, that's for sure.**

_"Jon, you know this is what our reality is."_

_"Yes, and it sucks rocks."_

_"I do not see how sucking rocks would have anything to do with the reality we face. I've heard of that technique when one is without water and is trying to build up saliva. I can not see how that has any relevance to the current situation."_

_"Drop it, Sontek."_

_"What?"_

_"Drop it. I'm not in the mood to debate or define terms right now."_

Sontek felt an emotion he'd not yet experienced in Jon. The man was angry. Angry at the situation, angry that everything that he'd worked for came down to waiting while the guard confirmed he was where he was supposed to be. The Vulcan could sense that Jon understood he was being illogical but it didn't stop him from experiencing the anger. He could sense that the human was attempting to channel it and keep from doing something rash.

The guard finished his phone conversation and then turned to Jontek. "Admiral Gardner will see you."

"Damn right he will."

"Sir?"

"Just tell me where I need to sign and get me a badge. I'm going to be late now."

The guard showed where he was to sign in and handed him a badge. "Admiral Gardner is on the 18th floor. Just turn to the right after you leave the elevator."

"I know where I'm going. I've been there a thousand times."

"Sir, perhaps…"

Jontek voice was pure ice but the military bearing came through loud and clear. "You're keeping the Admiral waiting, Sergeant!"

"Yes, Sir."

Jontek strode over to the elevator and pushed the button. As the doors closed, Jon felt Sontek's confusion, _"Jon, if you understood he was doing his job, why the anger?"_

_"Because I'm afraid it's always going to be like this. I feel like an alien on my own world. I used to hate that people knew who I was just because I'd been successful in the Expanse, just because of the Federation, just because I was the Captain of the first warp five ship. Now they'll never know I'm even there."_


	7. Chapter 7

**Merged**

Chapter Seven

Jontek stepped into Admiral Gardner's outer office, informing the aide of his arrival. The aide buzzed into Gardner's office and Jontek found himself a moment later greeting the man he had reported to since Admiral Forrest had been killed.

"Jon…tek? I understand that is what you've chosen to called yourself now?"

"Yes, Admiral. It seemed to be the logical solution to merge our names."

"I'm I speaking to Sontek?"

"You're speaking to both of us. If you wish to speak to one of us, you should address that one specifically."

"So I can speak with Jon alone."

Jon answered. "Not exactly but Sontek will allow the words to be mine."

Gardner was intrigued. "Hmmm. Interesting."

"I'm somewhat surprised that this is not a full debriefing."

"We'll do that tomorrow. For now I just want to talk with you. Have a seat, Jon." Gardner indicated a chair for Jontek and went to his own chair. "I have a proposition to make."

Jontek tilted his head. "What type of proposition?"

"Jon, you have to see that this is a unique opportunity."

"The situation is unique. I don't know about the opportunity."

"Section 31 has requested that you be assigned to them. They see the fact that Starfleet would have a human fully operational within a Vulcan to provide opportunities for intelligence gathering that would be unprecedented. The world already believes you are dead. Well mostly, there would need to be some clean up, classification of data."

Sontek was about to decline when Jon stopped him. _"Let me answer this."_

Jontek's face took on a hard edge. "No."

"Don't you see, Jon? They are right. You'd be able to get into places no other human could."

If the Vulcan visage changed at all, it was to become even harder. "We said No."

"Why not."

The part that was Jon spoke. "I've seen how Section 31 operates. I will not accept that the end justifies the means."

"You know that sometimes hard choices have to be made. Take the lesser of two evils. Do what's best for the greater good. Having the best data possible would allow us to make the best decision possible."

"I've done that, Admiral. I know the price that one pays when the way that information is gathered is not ethically obtained. I'm not willing to do it again if I can help it. We will not become a spy. That is final."

Admiral Gardner nodded. "I thought you might say this. I told Section 31 not to count on you joining them. I had to offer it to you though. This was a way for you to continue playing a role."

"What is that supposed to mean?"

"Jon. You can't expect to be able to maintain your duties as Admiral."

"Why not?"

"For one, Sontek is not a member of Starfleet."

_"He has a point, Jon."_

"So he could join."

Sontek was shocked at the direction the conversation was going. _"Don't I have a say in this?"_

_"Yes, Sontek, you will but let's get to the bottom of this first."_

"And be promoted to Admiral immediately?"

"Everyone would be informed that I'm still alive, and that as such, I hold the rank of Admiral. Doesn't seem like a problem to me."

Gardner shook his head sadly. "That wouldn't work, Jon, and you know it. Not everyone is going to believe this situation is for real and those that do would have all sorts of objections to the situation." Gardner coughed. "Uh, Sontek, no offence but there are those who remember the days when the Vulcan High Command called the shots for Starfleet. They might see you in this role doing the same thing."

"So you're just going to throw me and over thirty years of Starfleet service out the window? I can't believe you'd do this to me!"

_"Calm down, Jon."_

_"Don't tell me to calm down. This is my life he's throwing away."_

_"No, Jon. It's our life."_

"You won't be discharged, Jon. We've made the decision to put you on medical leave. Until another solution to this situation can be found."

Jontek jumped up and started pacing, although the movements seemed to be somewhat forced. "You know there isn't any other solution. We're merged! We can't be separated!" The man stopped and turned. "You're taking away everything I grew up with, everything I worked for."

"This isn't any easier for us. It is the only choice we feel we can make under the circumstances. Give it some time, Jon. It's possible that time will point the way to something else."

_"He's right Jon. This wasn't totally unexpected. Give it some time."_

_"Damn it. I know it's the best choice. But I don't have to like it!"_ His voice was cold as he answered, "Then will that be all, Admiral Gardner?"

"I'd like you to come back tomorrow morning at 10 a.m. for a full debriefing. We'll also go over any press releases to inform the world of your current situation."

"We'll be there."

"Jon. I'm truly sorry. You've been a close colleague for years, the best damn Captain of an NX class starship, and your work towards bringing about the Federation is something to be proud of. And you've been a friend. If there's one thing I've learned in all the time I've known you it's not to believe that there is any finality in what seems to be your fate. There is something else coming your way. I just don't know what it is yet."

Jontek nodded and walked towards the door, leaving without looking back.

XoXoXoXoXoXoXo

As Jontek made his way towards the Vulcan Compound, the scene in Admiral Gardner's office kept replaying.

_"I can't believe they've thrown me out of Starfleet."_

_"That's not what happened, Jon. You're on medical leave."_

_"That's just because they don't want to make it official. This way it's like limbo. You know there's nothing that will change."_

_"I don't know that, Jon. I would estimate that the probability of something changing that would allow you to return to your former position is infinitesimally small, but it is not totally outside of the realm of possibility."_

_"All right…you tell me. What is possible that would change this?"_

_"There is not adequate data to speculate."_

_"God, I hate it when you Vulcans do that."_

_"What?"_

_"Aren't willing to admit you don't have an answer."_

_"I don't have an answer right now, but that does not preclude the possibility of having an answer in the future. I think there's a saying. 'You never know.'"_

_"That doesn't sound like a very Vulcan saying to me. I wonder if Daniels saw any of this."_

_"It's not. It's a human one, but there is a certain amount of truth in the statement. Who is Daniels?"_

_"A human from the future. There will be a temporal cold war in the future. Well, maybe not. After that trip back to the past, maybe that changed things or maybe all of this is exactly what was supposed to happen. The last thing in my timeline he pointed out was the creation of the Federation. But if he knew about this, why wouldn't he have warned me about the shuttle accident? I guess it will drive me crazy if I try to figure that out."_

_"Jon. I know you're taking this situation hard. Let's see what the other side of the situation is."_

_"What?"_

_"We're at the Vulcan Compound. Time for me to hear the other side of things."_

_"Oh. Right. Sorry. I guess I've been a little wrapped up in self-pity."_

_"It's understandable. For now though, put that to the side and let's…I find another interesting human expression…let the other shoe drop."_

XoXoXoXoXoXoXo

They made their way much easier into the Vulcan Compound but that was to be expected. Sontek was in his element here. He was recognized as a fellow Vulcan and treated with the respect that his position as a researcher at the Vulcan Science Academy garnered him. He made his way to the appointment he had with the Ambassador's staff. Soval, though reaching the age of retirement was still the senior Ambassador to Earth. He had been grooming the next candidates for the position for the past five years but T'Pau had not yet made her decision as to who would next hold the post. Thus, Jontek found himself at the table, years of history between him and the head man at the table.

Soval started the meeting. "It is agreeable to see you, Sontek."

"We have chosen to go by the name Jontek to recognize the unique reality of our life now. It is agreeable to see you as well, Ambassador."

"Jontek." Soval said the word as if trying to accept all its implications. "I can see the logic in choosing that name." He went on, "However, I would like to request a conversation with Sontek and would prefer that the conversation be shielded from Jonathan Archer whom you are hosting. My reading of the report sent indicates this is possible."

The half that was Jon was surprised? "What report?"

_"Just as you needed to send a report to your superiors, I also had to provide a report of the incident."_

_"But I don't remember you writing one or sending it."_

_"I did so when you were unconscious."_

Soval was not specifically aware of the argument that was going on inside of Jontek, but he was astute enough to see constant switching between emotional expression and stoicism upon the face the man in front of him. "Sontek's report on the incident which we received a week ago."

Jon was realizing that even though he was fully merged, his Vulcan 'partner' was keeping things from him. Just as it had been with the Vulcans when he was growing up. Jon started to feel the same anger he'd thought he'd put behind him. It was almost with a sarcastic twist that he asked, _"So you thought it would be best to keep it from me? How could you do this?"_

Not understanding the underlying question the human was asking, Sontek was direct. _"I explained the use of mental shielding, Jon."_

_"I meant if we are the same 'being' how could you do this to me? It's like I'm only allowed to be present when you want me to be…the rest of the time…well I saw enough of that growing up!"_

_"I told you yesterday, I now understand this is not acceptable. But I can't change what happened before making that realization."_

_"And that's supposed to make it all right?"_ Suddenly a memory came up in Jon's mind that shocked Sontek.

"Are you unwell, Jontek? You seem to be…agitated."

_"Mr. Pointy-Ears! You called Ambassador Soval Mr. Pointy-Ears? Du duhik akan-if-ritishayas V'tosh!"_

_"I was a child!"_

_"You were impertinent and rude."_

_"As I said, I was a child!"_

Soval tried again to elicit a response from Jontek. "Perhaps this is not a good time to discuss the situation."

The voice from the hybrid held a distinct edge. "Perhaps if you discussed 'the situation' in front of me instead of leaving me out, things would go better, Soval."

"Ahh…Jon. I was trying to spare Sontek the discomfort of allowing his life to be laid open before you, not keeping things from you. I thought you and I had developed more trust than this."

Suddenly the realization of the multiple situations that had led to his emotional response hit him. A combination of facing his life not as an individual but constantly hidden within another lifeform and the loss of his Starfleet status had resulted in this tantrum of his. He recalled how supportive Sontek had been throughout the day when any of these situations had arisen, especially during his meeting with Gardner. "I'm sorry…I guess I haven't been myself," the sound of humiliation was present clearly indicating the human side was speaking.

"That's an understatement." The fact that these words were said with the absolute dryness of the Vulcan Forge made it quite clear that the Sontek half had said it. Jontek started to laugh. Not just a small chuckle, but a full-fledged, belly-wrenching laugh with tears coming from his eyes and an inability to catch his breath.

The other Vulcans at the table were shocked that one of their own would be displaying such unacceptable behavior, but Soval simply presented a slight smile. When Jontek caught his breath, he stated. "Get it all out, Jon?"

"Yes. I apologize for my behavior. It was not very Vulcan."

"But it was Human." At Jontek's nod Soval continued. "Now, Jon, do you have any objection to allowing us to speak with Sontek behind mental shields?"

"No. I think I understand now."

_"I'm sorry, Sontek."_

_"Nam-tor ri thrap wilat nem-tor rim."_

_"What does that mean?"_

_"There is no offense where none is taken."_

_"I've really got to learn Vulcan."_

_"Indeed."_

For what seemed to be an hour or so, Jon found that he was in a semi-meditative, semi-dreamlike mindset caused by Sontek's use of their primary consciousness behind mental shields. When he felt the shields lower, he was surprised to still be in the conference room with the Vulcan Ambassador staff.

_"Are we finished?"_

_"Not quite. They want to talk to you."_

_"Did everything go well?"_

_"I'll let you know later. But do not be concerned. All is as it should be."_

"Thank you, Jon for you understanding while we talked with Sontek."

"Vulcans don't usually say Thank you, do they?"

"No. But under the conditions, we wanted to let you know that although this is not an easy situation to determine the right course of action, we understand that it is something that you are struggling with as well. Neither you nor Sontek chose this path."

"That is certainly a true statement if there ever was one."

"You both have a long road ahead of you."

"What are you getting at, Soval?"

"We are willing to have you join the Vulcan Science Academy with Sontek. He has agreed to a lower security clearance since we see a potential threat in having a Starfleet Admiral, even one on medical leave, privy to certain research." As Soval watched Jontek's changing visage again he hastened to say, "You have time to discuss this with Sontek. You know he plans to return Sprong's and T'Vlan's possessions to their families on Vulcan and you have agreed to that. The ship to take him back will not leave for two weeks. Perhaps you will have your decision made then."

Jontek nodded.

"Finally, Jonathan, I and all of Vulcan owe you an apology."

"For what?"

"For the Selaya. Sontek told us what your memories say. We may not have sensor readings or other such data but what Sontek saw in your mind clearly shows the Vulcans on the Selaya would not have wanted to live that way. We could not have helped them."

"Why didn't you believe me nine years ago?"

"Because, Jonathan, we thought you disliked Vulcans enough to destroy them. We were wrong. We can see that now."

"I guess it's better late then never. I know apologizing isn't at the top of a Vulcan's desires. Nam-tor ri thrap wilat nem-tor rim." _"Did I really say that?"_

_"With a little help from a friend."_


	8. Chapter 8

**Merged**

Chapter Eight

After leaving the Vulcan Compound, Jontek headed back into town to retrieve Porthos. He knocked at the door which was opened only partway by his friend, Becca. She had kept the chain latch in place

"May I help you?" She looked at him suspiciously through the small opening.

"Uh, Becca. I know what I'm going to say is going to sound insane but it's true."

She started to close the door. "Becca, don't. It's me. Jon."

"You are insane. I'm calling the police."

_"Jon, I think we'd better leave."_

_"No. She'll believe me…eventually,"_

"I can prove it's me, Becca. Remember the night right before I left for the Expanse? I told you that joke that Trip told me about the alligator with the loose tooth." Suddenly the door started to open again.

"How did you know that?"

"Because it's me, Becca. There'll be a press release tomorrow. I'd give you the scoop but Starfleet wants to control the report. Not that I can blame them. This is about as whacked as it can get."

"How could you possibly be a Vulcan? Is it makeup?

"No. Let me in. I'll tell you." When she hesitated he stated, "Come on, Becca. Vulcans aren't sexual predators. In over 100 years there's never been an attack on a human by a Vulcan!"

She opened the door and let him in. Porthos was laying in the middle of the living room floor, snoring away. Occasionally a paw or ear would move, but mostly the dog was just sleeping. Jontek walked over to his friend of many years. He leaned down and started to pet him. "Hey there, boy. How's Becca been treating you? Not too much cheese I hope." The dog stirred looking up into the Vulcan's brown eyes. He got up and jumped up on the man in front of him, licking his face. Somehow, dogs just knew.

_"You actually enjoy this quadruped slobbering on you?"_

_"He's my best pal."_

"Well, Porthos seems to know you. Okay. If you're Archer, spill it."

"Becca, there was an accident."

"I know. It's was all over the media about two weeks ago. During a diplomatic mission, your shuttle went down and there was only one survivor. A Vulcan male." She looked over at Jontek. "Did he tell you to come here? Before he died?"

"Becca…they found his body alive but his brain was severely damaged. My body was gone, but my brain was alive. This species had the ability to merge us together. We both exist in Sontek's body."

"You chose this?"

"No. We just woke up like this. There's nothing we can do to reverse it without us both dying. We're doing our best to learn to coexist."

"So…you're telling me…there's both a Vulcan and a Human in the same body. Sontek and Jonathan Archer. You've got to think I'm the biggest rube anywhere if you expect me to believe that."

"Okay…so ask me anything that only Archer would know. Something that he wouldn't tell anyone."

"All right. Tell me what happened with the set of twins that you and Trip picked up that night during the three months you and A.G. were grounded."

"Uh…Becca, I'd rather not dredge up that particular memory. Trip should never have told you about that."

_"What is a drag queen?"_

"Too late. Okay. Trip and I had gone to a bar that a friend of his had told him about. There were two young ladies, the twins, which seemed to be rather interested in us. After a few beers, we decided to go someplace and get a bit comfortable with them. I swear though, I didn't know she was a he…not until he kissed me! And then both Trip and I high tailed it out of there."

"Oh my God! You're telling the truth!"

_"See. I told you she'd believe me."_

_"I didn't know that that Human mating was so complex."_

_"No! I wasn't mating. It was mistaken identity!"_

"Jon? You're really in there? This must be about your worst nightmare come true."

"Well, we're getting used to it. Let me introduce you. Becca, this is Sontek. Sontek, Becca Winters. We go back a few years."

"Yeah…back to the Warp Three Project. Damn you were cute then!"

_"So Humans are cute?"_

_"Well, we tend to use the word a lot."_

Sontek greeted the woman, his hand being placed into a Vulcan "V" hand greeting. "Live long and prosper."

"Any friend of Jon's is a friend of mine."

"Becca. They're putting me on medical leave. After 30 years in Starfleet, I'm being removed from active duty."

"I'm sure they have their reasons, Jon."

"Et tu, brute?"

_"I don't believe I've ever heard that Earth expression."_

_"It's from an ancient language. Latin. It means, 'You too, Brutus.' It's from a famous play where a Roman emperor was murdered by a group that included his best friend."_

"Jon. This IS a little more than a slight change. You're a Vulcan, for God's Sake. You…a Vulcan. God, A.G. and Trip would have a field day with this!"

"I guess the universe has a weird way of repaying negative thoughts. The upside is, I'm learning that Sontek is a pretty terrific guy. I guess I should be glad that if I had to be merged with anyone, it turned out to be someone that could put up with me"

_"That is yet to be seen. It's only been twelve days."_

_"What are you going to do, leave me?"_

"Have you had dinner yet?"

"No."

"Let me take you out."

"Is that okay with Sontek?"

_"This woman is pleasant. I would enjoy speaking with her. And she has been taking care of your quadruped."_

"Yeah. He likes you."

"How do you know?"

"He said so."

"I didn't hear anything."

"I hear him in my head."

"Jon. You know what they say about hearing voices."

"Yeah. But the ones who say that never had to share a brain with someone."

"Touché."

_"You humans have a lot of expressions."_

_"Yep…about a million of them!"_

XoXoXoXoXoXoXo

After dinner, Jontek took Becca back to her apartment and retrieved Porthos. Back in his own apartment, the dog walked around and checked out all of his favorite spots before coming back to his bed and laying down to sleep.

_"You pet is of acceptable comportment."_

_"Yeah, Porthos is a special little guy. You know he was with me during the entire mission on Enterprise."_

_"I didn't know dogs were allowed on Starfleet ships."_

_"Normally they're not. But I had an Admiral that owed me a favor. Starfleet agreed as long as I kept him under control and the crew didn't complain. He mostly became a mascot and Phlox often used him with sick patients. He found that petting Porthos had a healing effect on most humanoids."_

_"Phlox?"_

_"The doctor on Enterprise. He was a Denobulan."_

_"Jon. I think after the day's events, meditation would be beneficial to both of us."_

_"I think you're right."_ They went into the room and set up the mat and candle. After a few minutes, they were entranced and centered.

XoXoXoXoXoXoXo

The next morning when Jontek entered Starfleet Headquarters, he'd given himself more time. He knew they wouldn't know him and didn't expect them to this time. They went through the same drill as the day before only this time, the meeting Jontek went into was in the conference room. In addition to Gardner, the head of the Federation Diplomatic corps and several of the Starfleet brass were present.

They spent the next few hours going over reports. They talked about the star geyser, the damage to the shuttlecraft that wasn't found until after the crash, the Tananites and the reasons why they might not be the best candidates for admission into the Federation. They talked about the medical procedure that had led to the current situation. When they were finished, they all indicated to Jon and Sontek their concern for their well being. Everyone left except for Gardner and Jontek. Starfleet P.R. personnel expert, Lt. Tanya Canter entered the room. She brought copies of the planned press release.

The media experts at Starfleet had crafted the press release which indicated that Admiral Jonathan Archer had been seriously injured in the accident but had not died. It explained that on the planet where the accident occurred, the sentient species had a medical procedure that had put together two dying humanoids (one being Admiral Archer) so that both would live. It was stated that although neither of the humanoids had given their consent prior to the procedure, they were learning to co-exist with each other. The press release had ended with the statement that Admiral Archer had been put on medical leave and it was unknown if or when he would return to duty. All inquiries regarding Admiral Jonathan Archer were asked to be sent to Starfleet Medical.

Jontek finished reading the release. "Gives the broad brush strokes. Why is Sontek not identified as the other humanoid?"

Lt. Canter answered, "We believe this will provide you with the best chance of privacy. This could turn into a media circus."

Jon picked up that Sontek was confused by Lt. Canter's statement. _"Sontek, humans sometimes seek out strange or bizarre things for thrills. That's what Lt. Canter means by a media circus."_

Jontek nodded. "We suppose so. Humans have always had a desire to learn about the bizarre."

_"Vulcans may be interested in the phenomena...but they do not seek thrills. Only to understand the situation."_

"Yes. We've already gotten a few inquiries to see if you'd like to appear on some entertainment channels."

_"Jon, Why would your planet's entertainment channels be interested in us?"_

_"To display us as a freak or to use us to push someone's political agenda."_

_"That doesn't seem right."_

_"It isn't. It's a throwback to a time when human curiosity was unchannelled."_

"How could they know if the press release hasn't been sent to the media?"

"Apparently some on the Trafalgar have spoken to reporters."

"I see."

"If you and Admiral Gardner agree to the release, we'll put it on the wire immediately."

Gardner and Jontek both voiced their acceptance and Lt. Canter left.

Gardner looked over to Jon. "You seem a little more relaxed today."

"Well, We've have the night to sleep on it. Meditation is helping. What's the possibility of teaching at Starfleet Academy?"

"It may be a possibility in the future. But the Academy is still in its infancy. Having too much publicity about alien cultures like the Tananites wouldn't be very helpful at present. We're trying to build up Starfleet and the Federation, not cause another Terra Prime incident."

Jontek nodded.

Gardner went on. "You know, Jon, Soval contacted me after you met with them yesterday. He said that the Vulcan's were willing to have you join the Vulcan Science Academy."

"You trying to get us off Earth?"

"Not specifically. But Jontek might be better received on Vulcan. You'd also be able to start to teach there. Get your feet wet in the classroom. Then when the time comes, you'll be ready to take on Starfleet Academy."

"You've forgotten. I've taught before."

"I haven't forgotten. That was years ago, back when you were a Commander. As Jonathan Archer. This will be different. You've got to realize that."

"I'll think about it."

"That's all I ask."

XoXoXoXoXoXoXo

Jontek spent the next few days getting reacquainted with San Francisco. Each day he'd take Porthos for a walk on the beach. He spent a significant amount of time with Becca, taking her to dinner and just talking. He'd received communiqués from Hoshi, Reed, and Mayweather. They were all concerned for him and when they heard what had happened, were all ready to offer him whatever support he might need.

He'd found that the doorman, George had been a little put off until he sent him an email from Starfleet Medical indicating that what Jontek had said was true. He was okay with the Vulcan using his apartment and asked George to help him out in any way he could. George was much friendlier after that.

It was about two days after the Starfleet debriefing when Jontek started noticing the tabloids. Pictures of Archer's head attached to various extraterrestrial species started to appear. Jontek had to laugh at the one with Archer's and a Klingon's head glaring at each other with the caption "Is Co-Existence Possible?" Well, in the absence of the truth, the ridiculous was fair game.

Three days afterwards, Jontek got a communiqué from Phlox. When he opened the computer message, he found the good doctor was absolutely upset. Per the last instructions that Jon had left as to what to do with his mortal remains, they had been sent to Phlox for study. Phlox was concerned that Jon hadn't been allowed to make different arrangements if he had desired. He'd already started to examine the body and was unsure if Jonathan would want it back.

As Jontek read through the letter, he recalled the conversation that had occurred during the Romulan War. No one was sure who would come out the other side and it was during one late night in the mess hall when Jon was taking some time for a cup of coffee.

**"Captain"**

**"Ah…Doctor. Care to join me?**

**"That would be most pleasant. It seems that the war is going well."**

**"We've been able to scrounge up some older ships. Got a few more allies. If the Romulans would stop using nuclear devices, I'd be much happier. The radiation poisoning at some of the colonies has been brutal."**

**"Have you thought what you would do with your body should you die?"**

If it hadn't been Phlox, Archer would have been shocked by the question. He'd ceased to be surprised by anything his Denobulan physician brought up. **"No, Why?"**

**"Well Captain, you have been through a rather remarkable eight years. You've gone through the transporter any number of times, almost been turned into another species, been infected with a variety of bugs, had your DNA mixed with Klingon DNA, and other situations that are not normal to human kind.**

**"Yes and after every one of them, you indicated that I'm totally back to normal. Is there something you're not telling me?"**

**"Not at all, Captain. It's just that as we have advances in medical science, things that we haven't been able to see before, we can finally examine. Unfortunately, by that time, things from the past are usually lost unless they have been preserved. If you wouldn't mind, I'd like you to will your body to my lab after you die."**

**"Huh.** Archer thought about it. **"Well, if I'm dead, it's not like I'd have any use for it. Sure, Phlox. Consider it yours."**

**"Thank you, Captain. Although I'm sure I won't see you there for quite some time."**

Archer had even gone so far as to fill out the paperwork and turn it in. He figured if he could continue to help Phlox's search for medical knowledge after his death, It was worth doing.

Jontek wrote Phlox back assuring him that all was acceptable. He explained the situation and even scanned the Tananite Medical File data to him. If anyone would be interested in this, it would be Phlox.

It was a week after the debriefing that the communiqué from T'Pol had shown up. She'd been off on a trip with a group of Syrannites. They had been doing what they could do to restore the area that the Vulcan High Command had destroyed when they'd tried to wipe out the sect. Each year, T'Pol would spend her month long break at the Forge, totally removed from any outside contact. When she'd returned, she'd been delighted to receive the first letter, written just after the group had explored the star geyser. It had brought to mind the time she and Jon had witnessed the dark matter nebula lit up in all its beauty. That delight had turned to abject misery when she'd read about his death. Now she was concerned for his well being as a merged being. She asked him to contact her as soon as possible.

Jontek composed the letter, indicating that he would be on Vulcan the next week to bring back the belongings of Sprong and T'Vlan. He also indicated the possibility of his staying on Vulcan to teach and do research. He asked if she would have time to meet with him. He was pleased to get back a communiqué indicating that if he didn't meet with her, she would "sic a sehlat on him." Jon was always amazed at the human slang that T'Pol had picked up, especially the colloquialisms of Trip Tucker.

Thus, two weeks after Jontek had returned to Earth, he left it again with Porthos by his side, heading to Vulcan and the possibilities that he might find there.


	9. Chapter 9

**Merged**

Chapter Nine

As Jontek stepped off the shuttle that had transported him from the Vulcan spacedock to the surface, he realized they both had different reactions. Sontek was home, Jon was surprised it wasn't as hot as he remembered it.

_"You are experiencing the planet as a Vulcan this time."_

_"That would change things."_ Jon looked down at Porthos, his tongue hanging out as far as possible and realized that for those creatures of Earth, the planet was still damned hot.

_"Any chance of getting Porthos into a climate controlled area? He's a bit old to handle this heat well."_

_"Why didn't you think about that before you brought him here?"_

_"We don't know if we're going back. I wanted him with me in case we stay."_

_"Logical. I believe we may be able to accommodate our quadruped."_

_"Our?"_

_"I'm growing accustomed to his presence."_

_"I see. Why don't you call him by his name then?"_

_"That is a logical suggestion. I will do so."_

They retrieved the rest of their luggage and hired a flitter-car to take them to the Vulcan Science Academy where Sontek's apartments were located. When they arrived, Jon was pleased to find that Sontek's two bedroom flat was only a bit smaller than his own. Sontek contacted the maintenance department and asked for a air modifying unit to be delivered to cool his second bedroom.

_"This is a common request?"_

_"When we have visiting colleagues from other species, it is sometimes necessary. I believe that Porthos could be considered such a colleague."_

_"I think this may be the first time he's ever had his own room."_

_"It will take care of the heat situation. Do you think he will dislike living there?"_

_"No. During our time on Enterprise, he spent most of the time in my quarters alone and it didn't seem to bother him much. I just kept a lot of toys in the room and took him for walks. He sleeps most of the day now anyways. We will have to stay with him sometimes though. He still likes to have his tummy rubbed and he's used to me being in the room with him."_

_"If I can live on your planet, I can spend some time in the cooler room. We will accommodate Porthos's needs. I find that your Dr. Phlox may have been right that 'petting' a quadruped has healing properties."_

Jontek went into the apartment's kitchen and pulled out a vulcanware bowl. He filled it with water and placed it on the floor for Porthos. The dog gratefully accepted the offered liquid and made short work of it. The bowl was refreshed but Porthos had had enough.

They started putting things away. Jontek had found that while most of the human's clothes fit him well enough, they tended to feel tighter than Sontek would have preferred. Sontek was used to wearing Vulcan robes which did not bind to the body as closely. As a result, they had left most of Jon's clothes behind. The t'shirts and sweatpants were another matter. They had brought all twelve of the t-shirts and six of the sweatpants with them. Sontek had mentally voiced the idea that all humans should adopt wearing these all the time.

_"They would be too casual most of the time."_

_"Humans do seem to put a high value on dressing correctly."_

_"Vulcans do the same. You have different dress for various functions."_

_"Not to the extent the humans do. You had many clothes in your abode."_

_"Not too many. I wasn't a clothes horse. But you don't always want to wear the same thing everyday, unless it's a uniform."_

_"You owned more 'outfits' than a Vulcan male would own. It is logical to wear something until it is no longer functional as long as it is clean, pressed, and in good repair."_

They walked into Sontek's room and opened the closet. There were five outfits there. One was formal. Another less so, but obviously not for everyday were. Two looked to be used for travel in a hotter outdoor climate. The final outfit was a typical everyday robe. Jon figured that with the two they had with him, which included what he was wearing, that made three outfits to be rotated through the days.

_"Nice threads."_

_"They suffice."_

Jontek started to unpack his luggage when he heard a knock at the door. He went to open it and found the maintenance crew had brought the unit. He indicated to them which room needed the modification. They took care of the job efficiently and then left. Setting the temperature to meet a pleasant Earthlike temperature, he placed Porthos and his water into the room. He had brought Porthos's bed with him, enclosed in a plastic bag. That was set up in the room and Porthos went straight to it, lying down for his nap. Jontek smiled and closed the door to allow the room to cool down.

He headed back to his bedroom and finished unpacking. He had some work to do at the computer and decided to change into one of the t'shirts and a pair of sweatpants. Jon was amused to find that Sontek found an almost hedonistic pleasure in wearing the comfortable human clothes.

The first order of business was to again contact Sprong's and T'Vlan's families to confirm his appointments with them the following day. He had contacted them from Earth and they had set up times to meet. It was a common Vulcan courtesy to confirm that nothing had changed. He sent off the communiqués and then thought to send one to T'Pol to let her know he had arrived. He continued to resettle into his apartment, taking care of mail that had arrived while he was gone.

Within a half hour, the two communiqués confirming the appointments for the next day had been received. Jontek was surprised that his note to T'Pol hadn't received a response. Perhaps she had second thoughts about meeting with him. The thought that she wouldn't want to see him caused his heart to ache.

Sontek offered a logical explanation. _"She is probably in class teaching."_

_"I know. I'm being paranoid. T'Pol said she'd be expecting me."_

He went into the kitchen to make some tea and had just pulled down a cup when he heard a knock on the door. It surprised him. Jontek figured it might be S'Bont, the man who had been promoted to Sprong's position in the lab. Jon felt a sudden fear from Sontek that his new boss would see him in human clothes. A second, more insistent knock sounded and Jontek decided he could explain away the clothes through their unique situation. That it was a way to soothe the now human side of himself into his new surroundings. He opened the door, a totally stoic expression on his face.

It was T'Pol.

She was concerned to see the changing visage of surprise to stoicism and then to joy appear on the Vulcan's face before her.

"T'Pol!" Oh my God! How…?"

_"She is beautiful, Jon."_

"I indicated to you that I'd be expecting you. Sontek works and lives at the Vulcan Science Academy where I also work. After receiving the communiqué that you had arrived, I looked up his address in the directory. Is my being here unacceptable?"

_"Yes, she is. The most beautiful woman alive."_

"Lord, No. Come in!" The expression on Jontek's face changed yet again to a stoic expression and his hand raised in the Vulcan "V" hand gesture. "T'Pol. Live Long and Prosper."

"Are you Sontek or are you Jonathan Archer?" T'Pol looked confused.

"We are both. We have chosen to use the name Jontek to reflect our situation. If you wish to address one side you will need to let us know." Again the male Vulcans facial expression changed to a lop-sided smile, a look that didn't fit the face, but did the personality behind it.

"It's so good to see you, T'Pol. It's been way too long. I was just about to make some tea. Can I get you some?"

"Yes, Jon…tek. I would like a cup of tea."

She walked into the sitting area and sat on the low, backless bench. He headed back into the kitchen and pulled down another cup.

_"Do you have chamomile? She likes chamomile."_

_"No. But I have theris"_

_"What's that?"_

_"A Vulcan herb used for tea."_

Her voice called out from the sitting area, "Is everything all right, Jontek?"

"Yes. I'm making theris tea for you."

"Thank you. It is one of my favorites."

_"Okay. I'll let you make it since you know your way around your kitchen."_

_"How accommodating."_ The Vulcan Forge was back.

_"Can it. I'm just a little nervous here."_

_"Why?"_

_"I haven't seen T'Pol in two years. Not since she left for Vulcan to teach."_

_"Well, if you are 'just friends' it shouldn't matter."_

_"You're right. It shouldn't. It does."_

Finishing the tea, he carried the mugs back to the sitting area. He set the mugs down and sat down beside her. He looked at her, not saying a word.

"Is something wrong?"

"Uh, no. I'm just so glad to see you that it's enough…uh…to see you…" he trailed off.

"This must be awkward for you, Jon. I shouldn't have come without calling first."

"No! I mean, I wanted to see you T'Pol. I just don't know what to say. I've missed you."

"We've corresponded regularly. I've informed you of my life and you've informed me of yours. What have you had to miss?"

_"I'm blowing this."_

_"What?"_

_"She's never gonna want to see me again."_

"I mean I've missed 'you,' T'Pol. During our time aboard Enterprise, I really looked forward to working with you daily. It was hard to give that up."

"You've been doing what you've wanted at Starfleet. Building the Federation. I'm proud of you Jon... Jontek." She suddenly stopped and looked down. "This is a difficult conversation." Looking up she suddenly noted what he was wearing. "Are those Jon's clothes?"

_"Perhaps I could give you two some time together, alone."_

_"Yeah, that might help. Thanks."_

"Yes. Sontek says they are comfortable and I prefer them to wearing robes all the time."

She put her hand out to feel the fabric, touching him lightly on the chest. She pulled her hand back quickly. "Its okay, T'Pol. It's just me here now. Sontek has decided to give us some privacy."

"What do you mean?"

"I mean that he's been teaching me about mental shields and as a Vulcan, he's very adept at them. He's let me have our primary consciousness instead of us sharing it."

She looked at him, her head tilting, "He's not listening?"

Jon shook his head "No. It's just the two of us, T'Pol."

She nodded and then looked down at her hands. "When I learned you had died, I was…dismayed."

"Dismayed?"

"Yes. To know I would never see you again. It hurt." She paused and then looked up into his eyes. "Then when I read you had been merged with a Vulcan male, I was gravely concerned."

"Why?"

"The Vulcans have not always been your favorite galactic species. We have not always been…kind to you." Her head went back down as she began to reexamine her hands.

Jon reached out and took her chin in his hand, gently raising her head to look into her olive green eyes. Softly, he told her, "You've changed that for me." The pools of her eyes seduced him and he pulled his hand away, closing his eyes for a moment, regaining his composure. He continued in a more normal tone, "Although I have to admit what I learned from Surak's katra helped as well. And Soval and I have even basically 'buried the hatchet' so to speak."

She smiled and started to say something, but he stopped her.

"I can't say this has been easy. You know how prideful I can be…"

"Yes." There was a slightly sardonic cast to her eyes.

He grinned at her. "As I was saying, you know how prideful I can be and losing my individual identity is something I still am struggling with."

Concern was written into her eyes as she asked, "Are you happy, Jon?"

His eyes looked away for a moment, "We're working on it."

Confusion played upon her face. "We're? Is Sontek back?"

Jon shook his head. "No. It's still just us. I just mean that's the direction it's going. Sometimes, we feel separate. Sometimes we feel like one. I'm learning to be more Vulcan. He's learning to be more Human. It is a very strange dynamic and one that I'm sure will continue to develop."

Jon heard a scratching sound from Porthos's "bedroom." "Would you like to see another old friend?" He got up and walked to the door.

"Another friend?"

He opened the door and Porthos came out, and walked over to T'Pol. The gleam in his eyes indicated he would have rather bounded over to her, but age had taken its toll on the animal.

"Porthos! It is agreeable to see you!" The dog barked his greeting, licking her one hand as she petted him with the other. "He's looking very well, Jon."

"You know, I think he's missed you too."

She stopped petting the dog for a moment, which annoyed Porthos to no end. "What are your plans now that you've come to Vulcan?

"Well, we have appointments with Sprong's and T'Vlan's families tomorrow. After that, I guess we're going to meet with S'Bont regarding Sontek's role in the lab. I'm hoping we might be able to teach as well."

"I might be in able to help you in that endeavor. You know I'm the chair of Federation Studies." She'd gone back to petting Porthos who had decided he loved this woman. Where had she been?

"Yes."

She coyly looked at him from the side. "Would you be interested in a role reversal?"

His eyes crinkled. "What do you mean?"

"With your knowledge of the Federation, its beginnings and growing pains, I could see you working in my department. I'd be your boss."

"Umm…I'll have to discuss this with Sontek first."

"I suppose that is the logical next step. When can you let me know your decision?"

"Give me until the day after tomorrow?"

"Of course." She stopped petting Porthos and looked at him intently. "Jon? I'm glad you didn't die."

"I'm beginning to appreciate that I'm still around, so to speak. I really have missed you."

"Let me take you to dinner."

"Can we bring Sontek back in?"

"Yes."

Jon and Sontek had been working on mental shielding techniques over the past two weeks. Jon was becoming better at raising and lowering his and the communication between the two was becoming more seamless. _"Sontek?"_

_"Yes, Jon."_

_"She wants to take us to dinner."_

_"It would be logical to accept. I haven't had good Vulcan food for months."_

_"There such a thing as 'good' Vulcan food?"_

_"Human, you've never tasted good Vulcan food with a Vulcan palate. Now accept and let's go."_

"We accept. Let's go."

"Ummm. Jontek, I think it would be wise to change into something a little less comfortable. I suggest Vulcan robes."

With a chuckle, Jontek agreed and headed towards his bedroom. "I'll be right out." He was really looking forward to tonight and knew that he and Sontek would have a lot to discuss in their meditation later.


	10. Chapter 10

Merged

**Merged**

Chapter 10

T'Pol pulled her flitter-car into the parking area of a small, non-descript building. The building looked as if it had been around quite some time and needed repair in some parts. Jontek and T'Pol left the flitter-car and they walked up to the door. There was the smell of freshly baking bread, and Jontek became aware that he'd really eaten very little that day.

"Smells good, T'Pol"

"The appearance of this restaurant belies the actual quality of its food."

A surprised grin took hold of Jontek's face. "T'Pol! Are you telling me that Vulcans have hole-in-the-wall restaurants?"

T'Pol had a confused look on her face as she stated, "Jontek. While the restaurant does not present an overall pleasing décor, it does not have any holes in its walls that I am aware of."

Jontek started to chuckle when T'Pol turned to him. "I would suggest that you control yourself before we enter the establishment. While the proprietress would most likely understand such a display from a human, which I doubt she has ever seen, she would most likely find it disconcerting to see such a display from a Vulcan."

"_Jon, I think while we are in public, you should let me take the lead."_ Jon acquiesced immediately, feeling a bit chagrined.

Suddenly Jontek's face became a stoic mask. "You are correct, T'Pol. We should have adjusted prior to arriving at this establishment. We will not make the same error in the future."

Almost as if wanting to provide comfort to her long time friend, she explained, "I did not mean for that to sound so sharp. I am still getting used to the idea that I see a Vulcan and yet am speaking to two beings."

"Nam-tor ri thrap wilat nem-tor rim"

They continued into the restaurant, finding that the interior showed the same signs of age as the outside. However, it was obvious that the place was clean. An older woman came up to them.

"T'Pol. It is agreeable to see you again."

"T'Wyr. It is agreeable to see you as well. May I request a table for two?"

"You may choose any that suits you, dorli savensu."

"The one by the fountain?"

"It is yours."

"_What did she call her?"_

"_Honored teacher."_

T'Pol and Jontek gave a slight bow to the woman and then Jontek followed T'Pol to a table next to a lovely blue and green mosaic with water running down its surface. There was the light sound of the water as it dripped into the basin below it from which the water was recycled though the fountain again. They took their seats and T'Pol removed a wooden menu card from the center of the table.

"Ahhh…Sontek. They have a mun-rasy-tenr on the menu tonight.

"_What's that?"_

"_It is a dish made with what are similar to Earth lentils cooked in a…umm…tomato like sauce mixed with …umm…what are most like Earth peppers and onions and seasoned with various spices."_

"_Is it good?"_

"_Yes. An exceptional way to be introduced to true Vulcan cuisine."_

"Du skasau nash-veh u'sa-te-'kre."

"_What did you say"_

"_Literally translated it means 'you treat one as a king.' I'm complimenting her on her choice for our dinner."_

Jon was surprised. _"We don't choose?"_

"_No. On Vulcan, when you are offered a meal and you accept, the one who offers chooses for you."_

"_What if you don't like what they have chosen?"_ Jon still didn't see the logic in this practice.

"_If there is a medical condition, you may indicate that. Otherwise, you accept it with thanks."_

Jon thought back to a meal many years before when Admiral Forrest had invited the pilots of the Warp Three Project and the Vulcan advisors to dinner. The pilots had all been asked prior to the evening to order something vegetarian so as not to upset the Vulcans. None of the Vulcans had ordered anything. Instead, they had drunk water all night. Jon had thought at the time that the Vulcans had been insulting Admiral Forrest by not eating.

Sontek had obviously read his thoughts. _"No. The Vulcan Advisors were insulted instead. When you ordered your meals you were seen as uncouth and ill-mannered."_

"_We didn't know. Hmmm…I wonder if that explains Captain Vanik eating before he arrived for dinner, too."_ Suddenly things that had happened many years ago started making sense.

"_It does. He expected that type of behavior from you."_

"_But how…"_

"_Captain Vanik's cousin served as an advisor on the Warp Three Project. Your reputation preceded you."_

"_How do you know this? Vulcan is a big world. You can't know everyone."_

Sontek explained. _"Captain Vanik is my third foreuncle on my paternal side."_

"_Oh. Then his cousin…"_

"_Was also a member of my clan. Family stories."_ Sontek's thoughts indicated that this should explain everything.

Jon had one more question though. _"Had you heard those stories before you met me?"_

"_Yes. However, I decided to keep an open mind. If Surak felt you were a worthy vessel, what right did I have to judge you?"_

T'Pol laid the menu down in front of her. A moment later, a young man came to the table and picked it up, placing it back in its holder. "Ra Aru-yems tishaya?"

"_What did he ask her?"_

"_What dinners would you prefer?"_

T'Pol answered the waiter. "Mun-rasy-tenr Be'hi'la e nash-vah.Yem"

Before Jon could ask, Sontek translated. _"Basically, she ordered the mun-rasy-tenr for us both." _

The waiter nodded and walked off. A few moments later he brought a pitcher of water and two glasses. The water had some sort of fruit in it that from the scent was similar to lemons. He poured the water and placed one before each of them and left the pitcher on the table.

T'Pol turned to Jontek. "We are lucky to have come here tonight. Mun-rasy-tenr is only occasionally served."

"We are looking forward to it. It has been some time since I've eaten true Vulcan food."

"Yes. Although, I did like many of the vegetarian Earth dishes."

"I found that they tended to spice them wrong."

"After a number of years, you get used to the style. Earth food does have it's own charms." She took a sip from her water. "How was your flight from Earth?"

"It was quiet. We spent most of the time learning to build and work with mental shields. Jon is becoming quite good at it."

"Jon was an excellent student when I was teaching him meditation techniques. I enjoyed our sessions together. I was…saddened when we stopped."

"Saddened?" Jon thought it was strange for T'Pol to feel sadness.

"Yes. It had been enjoyable sharing meditation."

"I didn't realize you were enjoying it. Why did we stop?" He'd thought she was simply putting up with him. Trying to help him over the trauma that carrying Surak's katra had placed on him.

"You said you had learned enough."

"You could have told me you wanted to continue."

"I did not wish to impose on you."

"It wouldn't have been an imposition. I thought that with Elizabeth being found, you and Trip would need time together. Especially after she died." He remembered how lost she had seemed at the time. Trip had been gentle with her. He'd seen them at the funeral, and it occurred to him that they needed each other to lean on. He'd made a decision not to pursue his own feelings. He'd rather have T'Pol as a friend then cause her any more misery.

"It was a difficult time for Trip and I. I was very glad to call him a friend. We helped each other through that awful situation."

"There wasn't more between you?"

"There hadn't been for sometime. Trip and I were not…compatible."

"Why not?" Jon was confused. They had seemed to be compatible. Of course, they had started their relationship in the Expanse and he had really had his mind on other issues. He figured that at the least, his pushing everyone away from him was instrumental in bringing that relationship about. After they had returned to Earth, he knew that T'Pol had taken Trip home to Vulcan with her. That usually indicated a deeper relationship in his experience. When she had come back to Enterprise, married to Koss, he'd been confused again but figured it had something to do with family honor. Most things on Vulcan seemed to be tied to that. After the Kir'Shara was found, Koss had released her from their commitment and for a time, Jon had felt there might be a possibility for them to pick up where they had left off before the Expanse. Then Elizabeth was found and it all changed again.

"He was too emotional. He was often unable to control his impulses well. But he was a good friend and I miss him greatly."

"I miss Trip too."

"_Was Trip the one who tried to get you to mate with the drag queen?"_

Jon was upset that Sontek had latched onto this memory so strongly. _"No! I told you, that was a situation of mistaken identity. And it wasn't mating. It was just a kiss. I would really appreciate it if you'd forget about that. I don't exactly want it to become public knowledge."_

"_Why not?"_ Sontek was confused by Jonathan's reaction. If it was a mistake, why be bothered by it.

"_Because, it's embarrassing."_

"_Why?"_ Sontek still didn't understand.

Jon's discomfort was palpable. _"Because…I don't do that."_

"_You don't kiss?"_

With a finality which indicated a closing of the topic, Jon thought, _"I don't kiss men. Now forget about it. The food is here."_

The waiter placed the food on the table and then left. The smell was heavenly. There was a basket of bread with a small set of tongs. Jontek picked up his fork and took a bite. He nodded in T'Pol's direction and she began to eat.

"_Okay, what was the significance of that?"_

"_She is our host. I let her know the food was acceptable."_

This was getting stranger by the minute. _"So if you're a dinner guest, you become a taster as well? Why?"_

Sontek thought for a moment as if trying to recall something but finally shrugged it off. _"The reasons for that action go back so far into Vulcan history; I'm not sure why we do it. It is just good manners to do so."_

As they took another bite of the food, Jontek gave his tastebuds a moment to savor the food. _"This is excellent. It has a number of spices. I wish I knew what they are."_

Contentment was evident in Sontek's answer. Jon would have said it was similar to a human's reaction to 'comfort food.' _"It is arbre bar-kas herish-to. A rather savory blend of up to 20 different spices. Every Vulcan chef makes their own blend. That's one of the things that makes mun-rasy-tenr so prized."_

Jon was surprised that the meal continued on without conversation. He started to say something at one point when Sontek stopped him.

"_Dinner conversation is usually kept to a minimum. Sometimes, nothing is said at all."_

Jon argued, _"But I've seen Vulcans talk during meals. Well, not much I guess, but T'Pol got quite good at dinner conversation after a time."_

Sontek mentally sighed, finding he was needing to continue the conversation in his head if not aloud. _"While it is acceptable if there are issues that must be discussed due to time constraints or to be polite if one is eating with another species which pursues such conversation, most Vulcans do not talk during the actual meal. Prior to or after is more seemly."_

"_Oh."_ Jon decided to honor Sontek's unstated request and end his side of the conversation, mental or otherwise.

The meal continued and Jontek found himself seeing T'Pol as she was in her native culture. As always, her use of silverware was delicate and impeccable. She looked relaxed and while she had always seemed at ease in the Captain's mess, seeing her here made him realize that it must have been difficult for her, especially during the first few months. He was again impressed how she had handled herself with grace during the ten years she lived with a mostly human crew.

As they finished the mun-rasy-tenr, Jon was aware that he'd never really given Vulcan food a chance. While many spices were obviously used, the interplay of the flavors was subtle and exotic. He felt like he had tasted the food equivalent of a symphony. The waiter removed their plates and left a bowl of scented warm water upon the table. T'Pol placed her fingertips into the water and dried them on her napkin. Jontek followed.

"_So the host initiates the fingerwashing?"_

"_That was an astute observation, Jon. Yes. It is the signal that the meal is finished and conversation may resume."_

"I would have your thoughts, Jontek."

The comment startled Jon. _"What does she mean? Is she asking for a mind meld?"_

A mental smile from Sontek answered. _"No. She wants to know if we enjoyed the meal."_

"It was excellent, T'Pol. The chef is to be complimented."

"I will pass the compliment on to T'Wyr."

"Have you known each other a long time?"

"She is the paternal foremother of one of my students. He brought me here one evening."

"It is an excellent restaurant. We are honored that you chose to bring us here."

As Jontek looked into T'Pol's eyes, he found they were sparkling, almost dancing. He could tell that she was pleased with the way things were going. For a moment, he felt a twinge of jealousy. Was T'Pol enjoying herself because he was there or because Sontek was? He realized that Sontek was still young by Vulcan standards, perhaps just a few years older than T'Pol. And he was the Vulcan equivalent of a 'hunk.' Even when he'd been in his own body, although he was chronologically younger than T'Pol, by Earth standards, he was definitely middle-aged. He felt that he'd kept himself up pretty well physically, but he'd seen grey hairs multiplying daily. Perhaps she was enjoying being with someone her own age.

"_Jon. You are being illogical."_ Sontek was concerned with the direction Jon's thoughts were taking.

"_Am I?"_ He didn't need Sontek patronizing him.

"_Yes."_

"_How would you know?"_ He was starting to feel a bit petulant.

"_I know because I have seen T'Pol in your mind."_ Sontek's thoughts were meant to calm him, but it only peaked Jon's suspicions.

"_When?"_ Had he missed something?

Sontek explained, _"Traces from your memories. I believe that T'Pol cares for you."_

Jon passed the comment off. _"Well, maybe a long time ago."_

"_Often the truth of the present is hidden in the past."_

Jon was about to ask what that meant when T'Pol pulled them back to the world outside his head.

"Would you like a theris tea to end the evening?"

"I would."

T'Pol caught the waiter's eye and he approached the table. As they spoke in Vulcan, Sontek translated that she had let him know that they would both have a cup of theris tea and that she would appreciate the check when it was convenient. A few moments later, the teas were set before them and a small, wooden booklet was set before her. She opened it and then signed her name on the bill.

"_There is no tipping?"_

"_No. Vulcans charge what is reasonable to keep the establishment operational. They pay their employees a fair and reasonable wage."_

"_I would have thought with as good as this place was, that they would charge enough to have it fixed up a bit."_

"_No. I'm sure this is as the proprietress wants it. By being a little on the…hmm…on Earth it would be called dowdy…side, she prevents those Vulcans who desire a restaurant just for show. When patrons seek this establishment out, they are expecting an excellent meal."_

The surprise Jon felt was immediate. _"There are Vulcans like that?"_

Sontek felt that at times, Jon's preconceptions would never cease. _"Jon. There are all types of Vulcans. Just like there are all types of Humans."_

"_I never noticed much of a difference. Well, at least I didn't until after T'Pol. And Surak."_

"_Once you were open to seeing the diversity of Vulcan life, you started seeing it. I realize that our ways are quite a bit more subtle than on Earth. We have had over a thousand years of a united planet. It is understandable that to off-worlders, we would seem more similar than not."_

"_I suppose that is true."_

They sipped their tea, hearing the sound of the fountain. Jon realized that he was as relaxed as he could ever remember. He decided that if Sontek agreed, he would take her up on her offer. Being with T'Pol made being alive in any form the most wondrous experience he could fathom. All he knew was he didn't want to be away from her again.


	11. Chapter 11

**Merged**

Chapter 11

On the way back to the apartment, Jontek recalled that he needed to get some food for Porthos, as the food he had brought from Earth had been used during the trip to Vulcan. He was at a loss as to what would be available since there were no dogs on Vulcan. He felt rather sheepish that he hadn't considered this before bringing Porthos with him. T'Pol suggested that Porthos would perhaps appreciate sehlat food as they were carnivores as well. Jontek figured it couldn't hurt to try and they stopped by a Vulcan market to obtain a few cans.

When they arrived back to his apartment, T'Pol indicated that she had an early class. Jontek nodded and brought up the two visits he had the following day as well. They said their goodbyes and T'Pol headed off into the night. Jontek opened the door to his living space finding that the night air had caused the temperature in the rooms to be like an early fall day on Earth. It wasn't exactly hot, but it wasn't cool either. Figuring Porthos could handle the temperature, he let him out of his room.

The dog showed his pleasure that his master had returned. Jontek had found the dog to be the most accepting creature of his situation he'd encountered. The dog provided unconditional love, just as he always had. How he knew this Vulcan and Jon were now one in the same, Jontek had no clue. Dogs were mysterious in their knowledge.

Pulling out another vulcanware bowl, Jontek opened a can of the sehlat food and emptied it into the bowl. Putting it down in front of Porthos, he watched as the dog sniffed it thoroughly then looked up at his master, quizzically. "That's what I could get for tonight, boy. See if you like it."

The dog put his head back to the bowl and pulled a single chunk out. He took it out of the bowl and carried over to the other side of the room, dropping it on the floor. Jontek was certain that this meant that Porthos didn't like it and was trying to figure out how to feed his pal, when the dog finished the morsel and walked back to his bowl. He started eating with relish after that, finishing the contents of the bowl in record time, his tail wagging all along.

"I guess its okay then?" He put his hand down and patted the little dog's head. He went into the bedroom and pulled out a sweatshirt, three of which he'd also packed, and a pair of sweatpants. Dressed warmly enough to sleep in the cooler room, he picked up Porthos and Jontek headed off first to meditate and then to sleep.

XoXoXoXoXoXoXoXo

That night, Jon had what started out to be the first pleasant dream he could remember since the accident. He'd had other dreams since that day, of course, some frighteningly real, in which he crashed the shuttle over and over. Early on, these dreams focused on awaking and finding himself as a ghost, living as always but no one being able to see him. This had reminded him of Hoshi's experience early in Enterprise's mission when she'd experienced a transporter buffer issue. After meeting with Gardner, though, they'd either ended with having his rank insignia ripped from his uniform and finding himself the main attraction of a carnival sideshow or reliving the nightmares from the expanse. Tonight was different.

This dream was one that had played through his mind for the past eleven years in one fashion or another. The first time he'd had such a dream was when he'd been on the Enterprise, the night Porthos had almost died. In that dream he and T'Pol had been in decon and things had turned quite erotic. Phlox had pointed out that it was normal to feel sexual tension when on such an extended mission and he had addressed it the best he could. He didn't tell Phlox that the dreams had kept reoccurring.

Over the years, the situations in the dreams changed but they all revolved around he and T'Pol. In his dreams he could taste the sweetness of her lips, feel the silkiness of her skin, smell the spicy scent of her body. In the dreams, she would lean against him and he would feel her nipples taut against him, their breaths labored. He'd feel her body move against his and he would respond knowing that she was all he had ever wanted. More often than not, his dreams would complete with their making love and her lying in his arms afterwards. Those dreams had all but stopped during the time in the Expanse but had resumed full force afterwards and through all the years since then.

Tonight's dream had started in the cave of the Vulcan Forge. Syrran had died but it was before he knew that Surak's katra had been forced into his mind. He awoke to find his head cradled in T'Pol's lap. She saw he was awake and started to kiss him, passionately. He reached for her and brought her down to him, his mouth hungrily seeking hers. He pulled up, his arms around her shoulders, his lips tracing down her neck. He started to remove the top of her uniform when he noticed the IDIC medallion around her neck. It had a mirror quality in the dream and as he looked into it, he screamed. It was not his face he saw, but Sontek's.

Jontek was suddenly awake. He found himself sweating. Porthos was next to the bed, whining. He reached out and pulled the dog up on the bed with him, petting the dog's ears, finding comfort in the action as his emotions rolled through him. Porthos licked his face. He sat there, shaking, trying to find someway to accept what he'd seen.

Both halves of Jontek had been disturbed by the dream but for different reasons. Jon felt jealousy. Sontek felt confusion. Jon's jealousy could certainly be understood. He was a human and was in love with the woman in his dream. Sontek's confusion was much deeper. It spoke to ancient Vulcan desires. Sontek knew that he was not ready for pon farr, although it was likely to become a reality sometime within the next year. The fact that he had equally found the experience enjoyable up to the point when Jon had screamed indicated that he felt something for T'Pol. They were both unbonded Vulcans. That he would feel attracted to her was logical, even if the circumstances made it disconcerting.

Sontek reached out to Jon. He could feel the jealousy there. _"Jon. I know you are feeling hurt. I don't know what to say."_

_"What is there to say? She obviously loves you, not me."_

_"It was a dream. I do not believe we can take it at face value."_

Bitterness poured from Jon. _"It was you she was kissing, Sontek. Not me. She's Vulcan. You're Vulcan. It makes complete sense."_

Sontek disagreed. _"No. I know what I saw, Jon, in your memories. The traces she left behind. She tried to lead you to her, but she wasn't willing to push you. She does care about you."_

Jon seemed not to hear Sontek. Instead, in anguish, his mind cried, _"Do you want her? Is that what the dream was about then?"_

Confusion again. _"I don't know what I want. She is a remarkable woman."_

Jon thought softly, _"She is that. I guess that means you do."_ The depths of his despair presented a crevasse in his soul.

_"No. I spoke the truth. I do not know what I want."_ His mind turned towards his human companion. _"Jon, we're going to have to make this work. Perhaps I can shield myself when we're around T'Pol, unless there is a compelling reason for me to be there."_

_"Compelling reason? Like what?"_

_"Well, until you can fit into the Vulcan culture, I'll have to help you act as a well mannered Vulcan male would when you're with her in public and not a human one. Otherwise there could be repercussions for her. A teacher is expected to present themselves with dignity and decorum and to associate with like persons. I'll help you learn as much as I can. Perhaps we should not go out in Public too much when T'Pol is around. Not for awhile."_

Jon nodded, still unsure of where things were going but understanding that Sontek was trying to make their situation work. _"Okay. I know I shouldn't be jealous. You've never been anything but supportive to me..."_ Softer, the thought resonated, _"...but my emotions are strong where T'Pol is concerned."_

_"I know. Let's try to get some sleep now. We have a long day ahead of us."_

Jontek was relieved that the dream did not reoccur. The aftermath, though, was still felt and he did not get the restful sleep he'd been hoping for.

XoXoXoXoXoXoXoXo

The next morning they got themselves ready, choosing to wear the robe that was slightly nicer than the everyday ones. After assuring that Porthos had water and food and was settled in his room, Jontek took off for the first appointment. They would be meeting with T'Vlan's family first.

They arrived at a tidy Vulcan home, and walked into the courtyard, ringing the gong to announce their arrival. They'd carried the box of T'Vlan's possessions with them. Jon had more experience in delivering sad news to families when loved ones had been lost. The Expanse and the Romulan War had both provided ample opportunities for him to be the man families didn't want to hear from. He was surprised to find the Vulcan woman's family greeting them without any sign of discomfort. While it had been a month since the accident occurred, his experience had been that it was not nearly long enough to go through the process of grief.

Sontek, reading Jon's thoughts, explained. _"They are Vulcan. They are grieving deeply. T'Vlan was to be married when she returned. Now they do not even have the comfort of knowing her katra is on Vulcan."_

Jon continued with his observation. _"They do not seem to be grieving."_

_"Vulcans do not show grief the same way as humans. It is, however, profound. I will try to convey to you what is said so you can see the Vulcan heart in pain."_

They were asked to come into the home and water was offered. Jontek took it with reverence and thanked the woman who had given it to him. An older man and younger man were also present.

_"This is T'Vlan's mother, father, and fiancé. Her mother will be the one to speak with me and will convey the encounter to the family after we leave."_

T'Vlan's mother spoke. "Sontek. T'Vlan se pula-tusa"

_"T'Vlan is mourned"_

Jontek answered reaching his hand to her. "S'ti th'laktra

_"I grieve with thee."_

The woman held his hand. "Etwel itar-bosh du tra T'Vlan tevakh."

_"We are thankful you were there with T'Vlan at her death."_

Jontek recalled T'Vlan's final actions as he watched her drop into a meditative state. "T'Vlan Katra tvi-sochya ha'kiv."

_"T'Vlan's Katra lives in peace."_

"T'Vlan Sa-kugalsu kah ral p'pil'la'ai, Ko fu fai tor sochya." The woman stopped for a moment and looked Jontek directly in the eyes. "Etwel nirsh tenah komihn hashsu ko fu tevakh.. "Etwel ken tor sa-nakarat korsau T'Vlan. Var-tor-sa."

_"T'Vlan's fiancé sensed her sudden death. Our daughter knows peace…We do not blame the human pilot for our daughter's death. We understand he tried to save T'Vlan."_

Jon was startled. _"Why would she say that?"_

Sontek answered. _"She senses you are here. She senses you feel responsible."_

_"How?"_

_"Vulcans are touch telepaths. This is not the same as a mind-meld but it does convey information. You are here with me. She can sense your presence"_

Jon's heart reached out to the grieving family. _"Let her know I grieve with T'Vlan's family as well. That I knew T'Vlan as a fine scientist and a brave woman."_

_"She understands your words. And she is thankful for your kindness."_

The visit lasted a little longer with Sontek recalling moments with the deceased scientist. These thoughts would be shared with the family in private after they left. Jontek returned the possessions, arose, and bowed to the family. He completed the visit by reiterating his sorrow at the loss of his colleague and indicated his wish that her journey would continue peacefully. The family thanked him again for coming.

As they walked away, Jon was silent.

Sontek softly asked, _"Do you understand now?"_

_"I think I'm beginning to. You are a good man, Sontek."_

_"As are you, Jon."_

They continued in silence to the next appointment.

XoXoXoXoXoXoXoXo

The visit with Sprong's family was similar and yet had its own poignancy. Jontek let Sprong's wife know the final moments his life, showed him trying to fix the shuttle until the very moment they hit the bog. It gave comfort to his wife and children that he had lived his duty to the end. Sprong's wife also knew her husband had died at the moment of his death, the connection stronger for her since they had been bondmates for many years.

Sprong's wife had also sensed Jon's presence and conveyed that they did not feel he was to blame for the loss of their family member. It filled Jon with gratitude that they would reach out to him in their own grief. This was not the way he had understood Vulcans at all when he was younger. He had thought them cold and heartless, ruled by their own decisions of what was logical and not willing to see another specie's point of view. After they left, Jon let Sontek know he would be putting up mental shields during their drive back to the apartment. Sontek had indicated his understanding and then helped Jon to put himself into a private space.

When they arrived back, Sontek softly asked if Jon was ready to join him again but was told he needed more time. The Vulcan spent the next hour preparing their noon meal and catching up on correspondence. Finally, Jon lowered his shields and rejoined Sontek.

_"I guess I wasn't very fair to Vulcans when I was growing up."_

_"You assumed what the Vulcans actions meant based on what you knew. Human culture. That is logical."_

_"I could have tried to understand more."_

_"You loved your father and didn't want to see him hurt. You saw and felt things and put them into context which made sense to you."_

Jon mentally nodded but said nothing. It was obvious to Sontek that the experience with the Vulcan families had made a profound impression on his human half. 

_"Ri vath kau eh ri vath rok nam-tor na'etek hi etek kau-tor."_

_"What does that mean?"_

_"It is a saying of Surak's. It means 'There is no other wisdom and no other hope for us but that we grow wise.' The fact that you are willing to learn now is what is important. You can not change the past, but you can accept a different present."_

_"You are kind, Sontek"_

_"I am learning as much from you, Human. I now understand why Surak choose to work through you to bring the Kir'Shara back to his people. I wonder now if fate played a role in you being on Vulcan at that moment, with Syrran at his death. I know it is not logical, but still it makes one think."_

A growl from their stomach made both aware that they had not yet eaten. Jon suddenly noticed the smell of food cooking. _"Lunch?"_

_"Yes. I've made us a palt-vla-buj. I believe it is similar to a calzone from Earth."_

_"That type of dish is common in many Earth cultures. Calzone's are Italian. The Spanish have empanadas, the English, Cornish pasties. There are others throughout the world."_

_"And now you will experience one from Vulcan. Now let's stop talking and eat."_

Jon couldn't agree more, finding that his appreciation of Vulcan cuisine was increasing by the minute.

They spent the rest of the day preparing for the following day and meeting with their new boss, S'Bont, at the lab. Jon brought up the offer that T'Pol had made to have him work for her in the Department of Federation Studies. Sontek agreed that this would provide both of them with a vocation that would fulfill their needs. It was still difficult for Jon to accept that he was no longer actively in Starfleet, so teaching would provide an outlet to utilize the skills he had honed over many years of service. Sontek indicated that the only constraint that he could see would be scheduling of their time. Either T'Pol, S'Bont, or both would need to be flexible to allow this to work out. Jon felt certain that T'Pol would do everything she could to make it work.

With his immediate future laid out, Jon and Sontek spent a good part of their evening in meditation. So much had happened so quickly that getting centered was important. Both beings were finding that although the dynamic they were living was not the optimum from either's standpoint, they were growing used to it and it wasn't nearly as horrific as they had believed at the beginning. They had come a long way in a month. The future did not look totally grim.


	12. Chapter 12

**Merged**

Chapter 12

During his meditation, Jontek had heard the electronic signal indicating the "he had mail" from his monitor. When he finished he went over to the computer and checked to see who had contacted him. It was T'Pol.

She had invited him to an early breakfast, indicating that since this would be the beginning of his stated "day after tomorrow," she hoped he would have made his decision. He sent a note back saying he would be at her office the next morning as requested. He again slept in Porthos's room.

The next morning, he was up early. He made sure Porthos was taken care of, walking him outside as he had done the day before. Making sure that he had everything with him before heading out the door, he left to meet T'Pol. It portended to be a day of new beginnings.

He arrived at T'Pol's office and she indicated she had set their breakfast up in her conference room. Walking in to share a morning meal with T'Pol brought to mind the many breakfast's they had shared in the Captain's mess. This time, though, she was the superior and this was her room. He smiled at the irony of the situation.

_"Jon? I think you can handle this situation on your own. If you do need to meet with anyone else, you know how to 'knock on the mental shield.'"_

_"Thanks, Sontek."_

Finding a table with water and various teas, he asked, "T'Pol. May I fix you a cup of tea?"

"Yes. I have chamomile and mint. Either would be a pleasant choice to start the day." As an afterthought she indicated that she had Vulcan teas as well.

He fixed the chamomile tea for her and a cup of theris tea for himself. Taking the cups to the table, he found at both of their places a bowl and noticed a self-heating tureen set in the center of the table. He could tell from the smell that it contained the standard Vulcan breakfast, plomeek broth. He'd tried it once as a human and found the flavor interesting but not something that he would order on a regular basis. He decided to follow T'Pol's lead in case there were any new rules he needed to learn.

T'Pol took his bowl and served the soup to him. Waiting until she had served herself as well, Jon again took the first bite and gave a nod of approval towards T'Pol. It apparently had been the right thing to do and they both continued to eat the broth. Jon noticed, pleasantly surprised, that to Vulcan taste buds, the soup was actually quite tasty. He could understand now why they would choose it daily.

When they were finished, T'Pol asked him, "Have you made a decision about teaching for the department?"

"Yes. I wish to do this. I don't know my schedule yet, however. Until we meet with S'Bont later this morning, that will still be unsettled. If you can work with whatever schedule I get, though, I'm looking forward to it."

T'Pol nodded. "I was hoping you would agree. Having a teacher who can explain things from a human point of view will be an asset to the curriculum. Vulcan in many ways is still a homogenous society. We are taught to embrace the ideal of the IDIC and yet we mostly have only ourselves to practice it with."

"Vulcan has been exploring space for centuries."

"Yes. But there are few species that choose to live on Vulcan. Our heat and dryness keep many away. Our reliance on logic and distaste of uncontrolled emotions prevents others from choosing to reside on the planet. When our own reluctance to share personal activities with off-worlders is also factored in, it is not surprising that most Vulcans do not have as cosmopolitan an attitude as you obviously expected. That is one of the reasons we have a curriculum like this at the Academy. For those who wish to work off-world, it gives them a place to learn about the other species they will encounter."

"I guess I never thought of it that way. You know that on Earth we have multiple cultures, multiple ethnicities. I guess it doesn't surprise us finding a similar situation in the galaxy."

"That is why I think having you as an instructor would be beneficial to the Academy. The students will hear another viewpoint. Perhaps one that they had not considered before."

"I don't think they are going to rush over to the human point of view."

"No. But as a great teacher from your world once stated, the sign of true intelligence is the ability to consider an idea without embracing it. Our students at the Academy need to cultivate that concept." She stopped and took a sip from her tea. "I had meant to ask you. How did Porthos like the sehlat food?"

"He liked it. Thank you for suggesting it."

"You're welcome." Jon looked at his timepiece. "T'Pol? Can I get back to you about the schedule? We only have about 15 minutes before our meeting with S'Bont. I don't want to be late."

"Of course. Would you like to go to dinner again tonight?"

"Umm. I have a better idea. Why don't we cook dinner for you?"

"That would be most pleasant. I accept."

"So…would you rather have Vulcan food or Earth food?"

"You asked me. I will be satisfied with whatever you choose to serve."

He smiled and started to get up. "Okay. It's a date. I'll send you the specifics later. See you tonight then."

He couldn't help but notice that she had a small smile as well.

XoXoXoXoXoXo

Jon knocked on the mental shield to let Sontek know he was needed again. _"Sontek?"_

_"Yes, Jon?"_

_"We're on the way to the lab now. I thought I should let you know."_

Sontek was curious. _"How did things go with T'Pol?"_

Jon smiled. _"She's coming over tonight for dinner. You feel like cooking or do you want me to?"_

Sontek considered the question. _"I believe you should do so. She mentioned the charms of Earth cooking the other night."_

_"Okay. Know where I can get Earth ingredients?"_

_"The stores close to the Earth Embassy often carry Earth foods as well as some other species products."_

Jon remembered the number of ethnic grocery stores he used to frequent in San Francisco. _"Yeah, Humans tend to try new things out. I guess that's one of the benefits having multiple ethnicities. Lots to choose from._

_"Vulcans tend to stick to the things they know they like."_

_"Yet you celebrate the IDIC."_

_"It is more a celebration of tolerance and acceptance than it is one of embracing something for the sake of the sensation. I think on your planet there is a saying 'live and let live.' The Vulcan IDIC is much like that."_

_"Humans may give you a whole 'nother take on it, Sontek."_

_"That is what we were afraid of about a hundred and fifty years ago, Jon."_

Finding they had reached S'Bont's office, they took a deep breath and knocked. "Come in."

Jontek greeted his new boss with a Vulcan "V" hand gesture. "Director S'Bont, it is agreeable to see you."

"Sontek. You have returned." It was almost chillingly and the hand gesture was not returned.

_"I was under the impression that you'd never met him."_

_"We have occasionally met at Academy functions. He was in charge of a different lab when Sprong was in charge of our lab."_

"Yes. But I now use the name Jontek as it fits my unique situation."

"Your unique situation. The…what was it they called it…merging?" The final word was emphasized.

Jon felt something wasn't right. _"I'm feeling animosity from him."_

Sontek brushed it off. _"You're just being paranoid, letting your preconceptions arise again."_

"That is how the Tananites described it, yes."

S'Bont was dismissive. "It is disgusting. You should not have gone through with it."

Thinking that his new boss did not understand, Jontek continued. "We had no choice. When we awoke, it had already been performed."

"I suppose there is some validity in that. If I understand correctly, you have a komihn in your mind?" The word was emphasized with derision.

_"I don't think its paranoia. This guy doesn't like humans."_

_"Jon. Remember the human Dr. Shaffer on the Trafalgar? He had a similar reaction to the procedure and neither of us felt it was right to do it either. The Director is just probably concerned with my ability to do the work. Some Vulcans believe that Humans do not apply themselves as diligently as Vulcans."_

"We are both Vulcan and Human. We are learning to co-exist. There will be no problem with doing the work we are assigned. Both of us have our training in science, although my Vulcan side, Sontek has worked more in a lab environment while the Human side, Jon, as been in the command structure of Starfleet."

The Director was not pleased with the information. "Starfleet…hmmmph…We never should have helped them into space. It was a mistake to initiate first contact with the komihn." Again the word was said as if the Vulcan had just tasted something that didn't agree with him.

Jon was really getting annoyed. _"You still think I'm just being sensitive?"_

Sontek decided the direct approach would be the best to settle Jon's mind about the situation. "Director S'Bont? Do you have a problem with Humans?"

The answer would have caused water to freeze. "I do not have any problem with humans. I believe they should stay on that wet rock of theirs and leave space alone. They are an inferior race and I don't have a great deal of use for them."

Sontek was shocked by this attitude. He thought it had gone out when the Kir'Shara had been restored to the Vulcans. "Have you ever met a Human?"

"I had the unfortunate opportunity at a Space Sciences Interspecies Conference. It was not a pleasant experience. As I recall, they were of the opinion that under the right conditions, a warp engine could potentially be cold-started. It would go against everything that we have discovered thus far on warp field matrices. The species is obviously not rational."

_"This is the kind of Vulcan I remember."_

_"S'Bont apparently had a bad experience. So did you. You've been learning to put those experiences behind you. Perhaps S'Bont will in time, too."_

_"I think you're bending over backwards to defend him."_

_"I am not…defending anyone"_

Sontek reasoned, "That possibility has been theorized even here at the Academy."

A dry, almost rehearsed, "The Vulcan Science Directorate as determined that it is not possible" was S'Bont's reply.

That was enough. Jon pushed his way forward. "The Vulcan Science Directorate has been wrong before. What about time travel?"

"I am still not convinced there is conclusive proof that time travel exists."

"How do you explain what one of your fellow Vulcan scientists, T'Pol, reported?"

"T'Pol was overly influenced by living with komihn. Her data is suspect."

Jon felt anger bubbling up. _'Damned Son of a Bitch!'_ His eyes were blazing and his words were clipped as he stated, "T'Pol is one of the most objective scientists I've ever had the pleasure to work with."

_"Jon, calm down. You are creating a far worse situation."_

S'Bont's eyebrow rose. "Am I addressing the komihn then?"

"You are now."

_"Jon, he is my boss!"_

_"And you expect me to let him badmouth Humans like this?"_

The Director steepled his fingers. "Well, you have just proven my point. Komihn are emotional, ill-mannered, aggressive, savages. If the Vulcans had chosen not to initiate first contact, it is likely your species would have figured out a way to destroy itself by this time. You were certainly headed toward extinction when we found you.

Jon was still fuming. "The Vulcans did their best to keep us from reaching beyond our solar system. I was there. My father was the genius behind the Warp Five Engine. I guarantee the Vulcans didn't hand us the ability to travel the stars. We earned it, discovery by discovery!"

S'Bont started to straighten the papers on his desk. "Well. This has certainly been an enlightening conversation. I suggest you save us the trouble of finding you incompetent and request a transfer from my lab."

_"Jon. Look what you've done! Let me handle this."_

_"You still want to work with this prejudiced egotistical bastard?"_

_"There are channels to address this type of behavior. I don't want to leave my research. If I request a transfer, they'll ask why? S'Bont will say that my human half is emotional and can't get along with Vulcans What lab do you think would take me?"_

_"You could explain it's not true."_

_"And who do you think they would believe? An honored researcher and director of the lab or me, a Vulcan/Human hybrid that is still at the staff scientist level? I think you've been around bureaucracies long enough to know the answer to that."_

Jontek's visage returned to that of an unflappable Vulcan. "Director, I believe that will be unnecessary. I would like to continue working on the research that Former Director Sprong, T'Vlan and I had been pursuing, which has been fully funded by the Ministry of Applied Research. I believe you would have to get their permission to transfer me out of the lab without a request."

"That is, unfortunately, true."

"Then I would like to request the schedule you would like for me to follow?"

"You may pick it up tomorrow from my assistant, T'Quan."

"I will do so. If that will be all, Director?"

The Director turned towards Sontek, a look of pity on his face. "Sontek. It was a sad day when you lived through that accident. I've read your personnel record. You were a fine researcher. You would have been missed but you would have died with your dignity intact."

"Director. My dignity has never left me. Indeed, I have found it has been enhanced." He started to leave and then turned around once more. "And I'm still a fine researcher." Jontek's fingers again took their familiar "V" configuration. "May your day go well."

Then he walked out of the office, closing the door behind him

XoXoXoXoXoXoXo

Sontek was upset. _"What were you thinking, Jon!"_

Jon was surprised by Sontek's question. _"What do you mean? The man is a prejudiced bigot!"_

_"Ri klau au ik klau tu.."_

_"What does that mean?"_

_"It is another of Surak's teachings. 'Do no harm to those that harm you.'"_

_"That's easy for you to say. Your species wasn't called a bunch of savages!"_

_"If you want another saying, how about one from Earth."_

_"Like?"_

_"Sticks and stones may break my bones but words will never hurt me?"_

_"How did you learn all these Earth sayings?"_

_"The fact that your mind is full of them is not my concern. The fact that I choose to use them is simply a logical action."_

_"Okay, you're right. I got a little emotional in there but…"_

Now it was Sontek's turn to be surprised. _"A little emotional? Jon, if a Vulcan was that emotional, they would probably lock him up. Now he knows that all he needs to do is push you over the edge at the right time and we'll be out of his lab for good."_

Jon thought about that. _"Maybe not. You know how you've said you'll stay behind shields most of the time when we're with T'Pol?"_

_"Yes."_

_"What if I stay behind shields when you are working in the lab? That way, you'll be able to handle anything he may throw at you."_

_"Let me restate your plan. I stay behind shields when you are with a beautiful, articulate, and intelligent woman and you stay behind shields when I'm dealing with my arrogant, prejudiced boss who now is out to see that I fail because of you?"_

_"Well, it sounds worse when you say it that way, but basically, yes."_

Sontek sighed. _"It is the logical course of action to take. But I don't have to enjoy it._


	13. Chapter 13

**Merged**

Chapter 13

Jon looked at the subtle sign outside the market. It had a picture of the Milky Way Galaxy with the name "Universe Kitchen" in English. Sontek confirmed that the Vulcan lettering below it indicated the same name. Walking in, Jontek was assaulted by the smells of the foods and spices of a sizeable cross section of the galactic neighborhood. He noted that the names of species were on signs above the shells. Jon recognized Andorian, Tellarite, Klingon, and Vulcan, Risan and a few others but was amazed to see products from multiple species he had only read about in the Vulcan Database. Even after twelve years of exploring the galaxy, humankind had yet to meet many of the species that had already met the Vulcans. Of course, the Vulcans had been in space much longer than twelve years. He headed to the Earth section.

_"What are you planning to prepare, Jon?"_

_"I was thinking of eggplant parmesan served with pasta with an oil/garlic sauce and a salad."_ He started looking at the produce to find an eggplant and was dismayed that one was not available.

Sontek considered the situation. _"You might use a plaq-wal."_

_"What is that?"_

_"It's a Vulcan tuber that has the general taste and constancy of eggplant."_

_"How will it taste breaded and sautéed?"_

_"I believe it will be suitable for your needs."_

Jontek agreed to try it. Over the next thirty minutes, they shopped. Jon found some of the items he needed. He decided to substitute for others from the wide choice of available products when a suitable replacement was available. He was thrilled to find a pasta from Earth made with a tri-triticale blend. The store provided wicker-like baskets for shopping and when Jontek was finished, he took it to the proprietor, a Suliban that had not been a part of the Cabal, to pay.

The proprietor eyed the items as Jontek placed them on the counter. "Quite an interesting selection."

"I'm attempting to make an Earth dish without all of the proper ingredients. I'm finding I have to substitute quite a bit."

"You are quite adventurous for a Vulcan. Most of my clientele are not from this world."

"I've been trying to expand my appreciation of various cuisines."

"If there is anything you would like me to obtain, let me know. I'll inquire as to if it is available and the cost."

Jon was about to thank the man but Sontek stopped him. _"You are perceived here as a Vulcan. We usually do not say thank you as it is not logical to thank one for doing their job._

Jon questioned not doing so. _"On Earth, it is considered to be a courtesy. It is not strictly necessary, but people feel better if they hear it."_

_"Yes. But as your species would say, 'when in Rome.'"_

_"Point taken."_ "That would be most acceptable. I will let you know if I require any other products." Jontek finished paying and left.

When they arrived back at the apartment, Jontek sent T'Pol the pertinent information about the dinner which would give him a few hours before she arrived. He then spent a little time playing with Porthos. The dog seemed to be adjusting well to his new home. He had noted Sontek's small patio and decided to see if he could set it up for al fresco dining. If the temperature the night before was any indication, it would be enjoyable to sit outside for the meal. Pulling a table and two chairs out, he found a throw to cover the table. He found that Sontek only had meditation candles and figured that T'Pol wouldn't mind too much. He set the larger one in the center of the table.

Sontek was curious and watched without comment as Jon went about his apartment, pulling things together that he felt would provide the ambiance he was seeking. Jon seemed to be especially interested in finding the right music to play. He found some light jazz which he felt certain T'Pol would appreciate; setting the music to randomly select tracts. When Jon was finished Sontek commented that the patio looked more aesthetically pleasing than he'd ever seen it before. Jontek nodded, declaring it acceptable.

Jontek next went into the kitchen and started preparing the tomato sauce. Actually, he was doctoring a pre-canned sauce from Earth, but he'd had a lot of success in the past making the jarred variety taste almost homemade by cutting up various vegetables and adding a variety of spices. A few minutes later the sauce was simmering, providing a very Human ethnic smell to the kitchen.

Over the next hour, the meal was pulled together. Sontek had been right; the plaq-wal was a perfect choice to substitute for the eggplant. He reached the point where all he had to do was toss the salad and went to get cleaned up. He'd come out of the shower and was drying off when he heard a knock at the door. He'd never known T'Pol to come earlier or later than the appointed time. She was always exactly on time. It was at least a half hour before she should be here. Jontek put on a clean set of robes and went to answer the door.

He found a tall Vulcan woman on the other side of the door. Jon noticed that she looked similar to Sontek but older. "T'Plorn. It is agreeable to see you, ko-kai."

_"This is my sister,"_ Sontek explained.

"Sontek. It is agreeable to see you as well. I was pleased to hear you had survived."

"Yes. It was a difficult situation. Please come in."

A puzzled gaze crossed T'Plorn's face. "The smells in the apartment are strange."

Jontek explained, "I have the Chair of the Academy Federation Studies Department, T'Pol coming to dinner. I am preparing an Earth dish for her."

Nodding, T'Plorn stated, "I am aware of her. She is Vulcan, is she not? Why would you serve her an Earth dish?"

"Yes, she is Vulcan. But she spent many years with the komihns and found Earth cuisine pleasing. I doubt she has had it since she left two years ago."

"She is known to favor the komihns."

Jon had begun to recognize the Vulcan word for human. He perceived it was being used simply as a descriptive term in this conversation. Jon did not note any animosity from Sontek's sister at all.

"She is simply more open to other cultures and practices."

"Have you also become more open to other cultures, Sontek? My understanding is you now host a komihn in your mind." There was concern in her voice.

"It is more than that, T'Plorn. We are now rish-ha-vel. A hybrid. I have chosen to go by the name Jontek now. It honors my komihn side as well as my own."

"I will not call him sa-kai."

_"She is saying she does not see you as her brother, as family."_

_"I wouldn't expect she would."_

"I understand. But I ask that you accept that he is a part of me now."

"It is logical to accept that which can not be changed."

"Indeed."

"As you are expecting a be-hai-la, I will leave you to your evening. I would like to see you again soon. We have family issues to discuss." She got up and headed to the door. Jontek followed.

_"We're expecting a what?"_

_"A guest."_

"Yes. My sa-fu-d-ko-kai is to start his tal'oth in a month," Jontek stated, indicating he knew what was to be discussed.

T'Plorn nodded. "That is correct. Since my sa-telsu is off world, you must provide the blade to him."

_"My nephew is to complete his tal'loth. Since T'Plorn's husband is off-world, I must give him the blade he will carry,"_ Sontek explained.

Jon was curious. _"Tal'loth?_

_"Yes. He will have to survive for four months with only the blade."_

_"I've been in your desert. Surviving would be difficult. How old is your nephew?"_

_"He would be the equivalent to 14 of your years."_

Jon was shocked. _"You'd send a 14-year old out into that desert for four months!?"_

With a mental shrug, Sontek explained, _"All Vulcan children do so. It is our way."_

_"You mean T'Pol did this as well?_ Jon knew T'Pol was strong and brave but he couldn't imagine her surviving for four months in the desert.

_"Yes."_

"I am honored to do so, T'Plorn."

"I will contact you tomorrow."

"Rom-halen, T'Plorn"

"Rom-halen, Jontek. As Jontek opened the door, he noticed T'Pol was just arriving. She and T'Plorn greeted each other and exchanged a few pleasantries before T'Plorn left to walk towards her flitter-car.

T'Pol commented, "Your ko-kai is pleasant, Sontek."

"She has been so as long as I can recall. T'Pol. I believe it would be more conducive to conversation between old friends if I were to give you both some privacy. You will excuse me?"

"Sontek, you do not need to leave on my behalf. I look forward to getting to know you."

Sontek noticed Jon becoming concerned with the direction of the conversation. _"We have an agreement and I will honor it, Jon. I'll get to know T'Pol better under different circumstances."_

"Perhaps later. I would like to have what I believe humans call, 'downtime.'"

"I understand, Sontek."

With that explanation, Sontek pulled up the mental shields that would allow Jon to have their primary consciousness.

"I made eggplant parmesan."

"I can smell it. I'm sure it will be delicious."

"I've set up a table on the patio. I thought it might be nice to eat outside."

"Like on Earth." T'Pol remembered occasionally eating at Jonathan's apartment in San Francisco. Most of the time, the air had been too chilly to dine on his patio. San Francisco weather was notorious for being on the chilly side. She remembered one or two meals, though, where it had been warm enough and what she most remembered were the lights of the city around them. It had seemed to her that Jon had seemed content. As if the city and he were old friends.

"Yes. Although it will be much warmer here." He stopped for a moment, one part of him wishing that Earth normal activities were the only ball in play. "Can I get you anything? I know that Vulcans don't drink wine but I'm not sure what they would drink."

"We usually just drink water, that would be fine."

"Okay." Jon walked to the kitchen and pulled the water pitcher out of the chiller where he was keeping it until the meal. He poured her a glass and handed it to her. "You look beautiful, T'Pol."

"Thank you, Jon."

"Would you like to eat now, or wait for a bit?"

"Now would be agreeable. Can I help you bring anything out?"

"You can take the water out. I can get everything else. I just need to toss the salad a bit. You go out and sit and I'll be right out."

T'Pol nodded. As she stepped out on the patio, she noticed the meditation candle in the center of the table. Candlelight at dinner was a human concept. She felt Jon's personality coming through and it brought about a moment of consideration as she waited for him to come out. 

It was still a little disconcerting that she was interacting with a Vulcan and yet at the same time with Jon. She had to admit, that the Vulcan male he had merged with was quite pleasing to look at. His build was similar to the body that Jon had once inhabited although it did not have the definition of muscle groups. That was normal in Vulcans. While physically they were much stronger than humans, their muscles did not present the same way. She was sure that Sontek's body was also hairless as Vulcans did not grow the face or chest hair that human males exhibited.

She had also noticed Sontek's scent. It was pleasant to be around him. She compared this as well to what she remembered of the man she had called Captain for so many years. She had grown used to the smell of humans and had stopped requiring the use of numbing agents. She especially remembered Jon's scent. She recalled being carried by Jon on several occasions, her body pulled tightly to his chest. During those times when she was in such close contact, she felt him protecting her, caring for her, and at one time she had believed, loving her. In her mind that scent had eventually come to be a balm. She felt safe in his arms. She felt content. She missed it now. But it was illogical to want something she could not have.

Jon walked out carrying the salad. He'd picked up a dressing at the market that he knew she'd prefer. A type of Vulcan dressing similar to a vinaigrette. He sat down and asked for her salad bowl, filling it with a salad of greens, sliced vegetables, and pine nuts. He had splurged on those. The proprietor had indicated that another human had requested them and it had been necessary to obtain more than was needed.

Jon had turned on the jazz right before coming out. T'Pol recognized the style and closed her eyes for a moment, savoring the sounds she had learned to love from Earth. Jon watched her slightly sway to the music and his heart caught. A moment later, she opened her eyes and voiced her enjoyment of his selection.

They ate their salads and T'Pol commented on how much she enjoyed it, especially the pine nuts. Jon smiled. "I thought you might like them."

The dinner progressed through the entrée. T'Pol recognized the vegetable and was pleasantly surprised that he'd found a way to serve it in an Earth style. She complemented him on his chef skills.

When the meal was finished, Jon removed the plates and brought out a pot of chamomile tea and two mugs. He poured a cup for her and handed it to her. "I hope your day went well after I left."

"It was a short day. I was able to finish up a lot of administrative items."

"That is one thing I don't miss."

"Did you get your schedule from S'Bont." At the sound of the man's name, Jon's countenance changed.

"No. Not yet. We'll get it tomorrow," Jon's said the words in the clipped manner he often used when annoyed on Enterprise.

T'Pol looked Jon in the eye. "Is there a problem?"

Jon nodded. "Yeah. A big one. The man hates humans."

"I didn't know. S'Bont and I have not conversed much."

Dryly, Jon responded, "I gathered that."

"Are you going to be able to handle working for him, Jon?"

"I think that Sontek and I have worked out a way to make it work. I just won't be there."

"How can…" The look on T'Pol's face indicated her confusion.

"The same way I'm here with you tonight and Sontek isn't. I'll just put up mental shields and let Sontek have our primary consciousness. That way he can do his job without my emotions causing him trouble."

"I would be interested in learning how that works out."

"Sontek said he's going to look into channels regarding S'Bont's behavior."

T'Pol suddenly seemed quieter than usual. "I may not know the man well, but I know he has some well placed friends. Warn Sontek to be careful. It might be best to let it go for now."

Jon's head tilted and his forehead creased. "Let it go? S'Bont all but said he wanted humans to just disappear. Completely."

T'Pol was direct. "I know it's hard for you when you meet Vulcans that reinforce your old feelings. Understand, though, that sometimes you have to allow something to continue until the time is right to do something about it. S'Bont would be a dangerous man to cross for now. I think I've heard you suggest giving someone enough rope to hang themselves."

"Okay, T'Pol, you've made your point. I won't interfere with the way Sontek handles things. I just hope the bastard gets his due sooner than later."

"Patience, Jon. That is one of the virtues that you still need to cultivate more. You've always been a man of action. Perhaps for now, it would be best to be a man of observation instead."

"Perhaps. You've always given me good counsel before. I don't doubt you're right about this situation as well."

As they finished their tea, Jon watched T'Pol's face reading a question that she was not voicing. "T'Pol, you seem to have something on your mind. Care to share it?"

"The conversation the other night reminded me of our joint meditation sessions. I was wondering if you might like to resume them."

"You want to meditate with me?"

"Yes."

"All right, T'Pol. I would like to meditate with you as well."

They went inside, carrying the large meditation candle with them. Jon went into the bedroom and brought out two mats. They set them in the sitting area and each took a position sitting across from the other. Jon and T'Pol placed themselves into a meditative mode, the candle again the only item between them.


	14. Chapter 14

**Merged**

Chapter 14

Over the next several months, Jontek continued to settle into his new life. The schedule that S'Bont had set for him in the lab had worked surprisingly well with his teaching duties since they were designed to limit the amount of time the two would ever come into contact at the lab. It was similar to a three-quarters time schedule on Earth. Jontek was under no illusion that S'Bont had set up the schedule to be helpful to him. Indeed, he figured that if there had been a way to cause problems for him, the schedule would have been much different.

Porthos was enjoying himself as well. While taking the dog out for his daily walks, he had met Vulcans as well. At first it was the very young Vulcans who came over to see him, their parents mortified that their offspring would run up to him, allowing their faces to be washed by the dog's friendly tongue. However, after one such Vulcan had come up to him, it had changed things tremendously. 

The child, Spobra, apparently suffered from a condition known on Vulcan as T'Ziw's Syndrome. From what Jon gathered it was a condition similar to autism on Earth. Spobra's father worked at the Academy Hospital as a doctor and his mother chose to stay home with their young son, preferring not to place him in the institutional setting where most children with his condition lived. While out one morning, the child had come over to Porthos and pulled him into his lap, feeling the soft fur on the dog's ears. Porthos himself was in heaven. What happened next changed the lives of all involved.

"Mos ausachya olau rom." Spobra said the words over and over. Jon had started understanding Vulcan more as he continued to be immersed in the planet's culture so he understood that the child was saying Porthos's fur felt good to him. He was surprised, however, to see the child's parents show emotion at the words, although if he'd seen their reaction from a human point of view, he would hardly have noticed their change of expression.

"Surak's vutau! He spoke!" For a Vulcan, the father was stunned. The mother simply dropped to her knees, rubbing the back of her son.

Jontek felt he had been given a gift to see this interaction, and inwardly smiled at the father's invocation of 'Surak's call.' "He hasn't spoken before?"

"No," the mother said looking up to him. "He has never spoken before. He communicates to us with hand gestures and grunts. What is this creature?"

"Porthos is an Earth dog."

She looked confused. "I didn't know there were other sentient creatures on Earth other then humans."

"Dogs are not considered to be sentient. They live with humans similar to the way sehlats live with Vulcans."

"They are pets?"

Jontek nodded. "Yes. But they are much more. Over millennia, dogs and humans have developed a mutually beneficial relationship. Humans care for the animals, providing them food, shelter, and emotional support. Dogs often do work activities or simply provide emotional support in return."

The father spoke. "This is a fascinating discovery. How did you come to own an Earth pet?"

Jontek had over the months become adept at reading which Vulcans would accept his unique situation and which would not. He sensed that this family was one of the former. "I had an accident a few months ago which resulted in my becoming a rish-ha-vel with a human. Porthos has been his pet for many years. When we came to Vulcan to live, it was logical that he would come with us."

The father nodded. "I see. Do you believe that this 'Porthos' would be willing to allow me to study him?"

"In what sense?"

"I would like to see if the emotional support he offers can be utilized by Vulcans in certain situations, like my son's."

Jontek considered the proposition before answering, "I believe that as long as Porthos is treated kindly, he would be a very willing participant. He likes being petted." As an afterthought he added, "Of course he'd have to be kept out of the Vulcan heat. He is old and can only tolerate Vulcan temperatures over a short period of time." The statement was confirmed by Porthos's act of cooling himself by panting, although he continued to allow the boy to pet him.

"Is that what my Spobra is doing?" the mother asked as she watched her son stroke the dog, the boy continuing to whisper to Porthos in simple Vulcan phrases.

"Yes. It is an act that pleases the dog and provides comfort to the one doing it."

The father stated, "If you allow us to work with Porthos, we will see that his needs are met."

So it was that Porthos had joined a medical research team. Before Jontek would leave for either his lab position or teaching duties, he would drop Porthos off at the medical lab. It amused him that in addition to his bedroom, Porthos now had his own office which was set up to allow Vulcan-dog interactions. The doctor, Savan, and his wife T'Liv had both indicated the change that had come over their son since meeting Porthos. His condition, though not cured, had been alleviated somewhat and he was finally beginning to occasionally break through the shell that had surrounded him since his birth. Savan was planning to bring more dogs to Vulcan based on the healing properties the dog exhibited.

This situation turned out to be both a triumph against S'Bont and another perceived barb against him as well. When S'Bont had learned that Jontek had requested one of his bedrooms to be modified to accommodate the quadruped, he had attempted to have Jontek dismissed for misuse of Academy funds charging that he has misrepresented his pet as a colleague in need of a modified environment. It had initially looked grim for Jontek, but when Savan stepped in, explaining that he saw the dog as a colleague as well and presented the data showing the strides in medicine that research with the animal had produced, the Academy Board had reluctantly agreed and had officially listed Porthos as a visiting researcher. S'Bont had not been pleased.

Still, S'Bont had nothing really to work with. Jontek continued to perform his duties in the Astrophysics lab without incident. While Sontek had been studying the discovery of new elements that had been found in small quantities inside the heart of various stars before the merging, the research he was now doing had to do with mining the known materials that were in those same stars. His work had been handled with thoroughness and there was nothing that S'Bont could use against the man he now saw as his nemesis. 

S'Bont had tried on a number of occasions to pull the komihn to the fore, to cause a scene that would allow him to exercise his rights as the director of the lab to dismiss the being he considered an abomination. He was prohibited by what he believed to be Jontek's sheer will to maintain what the director saw as simply a Vulcan mask over disdainful human emotionalism. He knew the human was there, had seen him in his office the day this Jontek had reported to him. S'Bont saw it as only a matter of time until the annoying komihn would show himself again.

S'Bont had been aggravated as well by what he saw was the obvious help the Jontek was receiving from the Department of Federation Studies. He felt he had been maneuvered into a position of providing his schedule first, basically removing any argument that the man's teaching interfered with his work in the lab. T'Pol had indicated that S'Bont had been vocal about his dislike for the Department. His argument had been, they were Vulcans. What need did they have to promote and support such an assembly of species, some of whom had been mortal enemies of the Vulcans from time past? Still, there was nothing he could do as long as the Academy Board chose to support T'Pol's Department.

S'Bont was derisive of the Vulcan leadership in general. Ever since the Syrannite, T'Pau, and the human Jonathan Archer had 'restored' the Kir'Shara, he claimed that Vulcan had taken a turn for the worse. Before, the Vulcan High Command had called the shots on Earth. Since then, the High Command had been disbanded, replaced by a Trinary Governing Board composed of those who followed the teachings of the supposed 'true word of Surak' from the restored Kir'Shara. However, verbal dissent against the government was not a crime and S'Bont had continued to rise in the administration of the Academy, pulling in favors built from long relationships with those with position. He was truly well positioned.

Although Jontek was annoyed by the constant positioning of his boss in trying to out maneuver him, cause him to make a mistake that would result in his dismissal, he generally put it out of his mind. He'd found many in the lab who he enjoyed working with, their analysis of the data they collected intriguing. He begun to feel that even if things never became any better, he could live with the situation quite acceptably. 

On the other side of his career, teaching had become an outlet of joy for Jontek as well. Seeing Vulcan students, eager for knowledge on a daily basis was exciting. Although early on, there had been some questioning by the students as to whether this Vulcan astrophysicist had anything of value to offer in the way of Federation Studies, once they learned that the man incorporated the human most associated with the development of the Federation from that species, they had listened with apt ears.

Jontek had laid out the premise that the earliest beginnings of the Federation could be traced to the first contact with humans by the Vulcans. Although the early years of collaboration between the two species had been marred by distrust and misunderstanding of each other's cultures, ultimately, working with the Vulcans had played an important role in the acceptance of humans as a galactic player. It was the humans ability to seek out common ground with other species that had allowed them to be seen as an honest broker in settling old wounds and developing good relationships with multiple species.

Jontek had reached the point in the course where he was discussing the Xindi situation and the reluctance of the Vulcan's to assist Earth at the onset. He was receiving an exceptional amount of negative questions from his students.

One of Jontek's students chose to argue his point. "Professor. You expect us to believe that Vulcan actions in this situation were counter productive to Vulcan interests?"

"What I'm saying is that if Earth had not pursued the course of finding and destroying the Xindi weapon, the galaxy would eventually have been taken over by the Sphere Builders. That analysis is without question. We didn't know that when the mission started. The Vulcans were unwilling consider that perhaps this situation was not only a threat towards Earth, but perhaps would affect others as well. Sometimes, doing the right thing even when you can not see a benefit towards yourself is the best way to approach things. The Vulcans at that time did not accept that premise.

The student vigorously shook his head. "The Vulcans were only acting logically based on the data that was available at that point."

Jontek reiterated. "Sometimes it is necessary to follow an illogical path to find the true logic in the situation. There was one Vulcan who made the choice to do so."

"That would have been T'Pol?"

"Yes. Without T'Pol and the humans working together, the mission would not have been successful and we would not be having this conversation. That is the core of the Federation."

"So you are saying it was the choice of one Vulcan that changed the results of the Xindi situation." There was almost a smugness in the way this was stated.

"No. What I'm trying to get across to you is it was the human and Vulcan interaction along with the help of others, such as the Andorians, that provided the catalyst to reach the Xindi before Earth was destroyed. If not for that, the Xindi would have succeeded and the Federation would never have even begun."

"It sounds as if you're giving Earth the sehlat's share of the credit for the creating the Federation."

"If Earth had not been a player, then the Federation is unlikely to have ever developed. They were the catalyst to change in what had been the status quo in the galaxy for over a thousand years."

The class chime had rung, ending the debate for that day. Jon had collected his items and headed over to the Medical lab to spend some time with Porthos. His little pal had become quite a phenomena and he often didn't get to spend the time they used to just being together. It was while he was there that the call came in from T'Pol's office. She needed to see him. He finished giving Porthos a final pet and a piece of cheese before heading over to see what T'Pol needed.

Over the months, the situation with shielding had become more comfortable as well. While Sontek generally pulled back behind them when T'Pol and Jon were in their more personal interactions, such as meditation, they found that the Vulcan half of their being was a great asset in understanding how to instruct Vulcans. While he generally allowed Jon to take the lead in the material, as he had today, he was keenly aware of the dynamic in the classroom. As such, he did not put the shielding up when addressing his teaching duties, even with T'Pol. They had become comfortable with being Jontek in most of their interactions.

Noting her door was open, Jontek walked into her office. "T'Pol. It is agreeable to see you."

T'Pol seemed troubled. "I wish I could answer in kind, Jontek."

This took him somewhat aback. "What?"

"I've received some complaints from your students today."

"Why?"

"They say..." she referred to a padd in her hand, "...that you are attempting to subvert the historical record. To teach a highly subjective version of the facts."

"I don't understand."

"Here, read this." She handed him the padd. "The student's name has been removed."

Jontek scanned the complaint, his eyes crinkling with a smile as he read it.

"This is not something to be amused over. As chair, I have to investigate any possibility of impropriety."

Jontek handed the padd back to her, explaining his side of the situation. "T'Pol. The way this student is portraying what I said is to indicate I negated the role of any other species in the Xindi situation. That is not what I said. But it is understandable that a Vulcan would be offended by the fact that their planet did not have the vision to see why doing something without a known benefit was ultimately the logical position."

"Vulcans are not…offended."

"Cut the crap, T'Pol. I'm half Vulcan now. I know that Vulcans get offended. And there isn't a species alive that takes their response quite as seriously."

T'Pol was somewhat shocked by his statement but chose to ignore the emotionalism involved. "What do you intend to do about this situation, Jontek."

He stated simply, "I intend to continue on with my class."

T'Pol shook her head. "I require something more. I will need for you to address this situation a little more directly."

"What do you mean."

"I believe it would be wise to apologize for the misinterpretation."

He was surprised. "You think I should apologize?"

"Yes."

He shook his head. "No. I won't apologize for saying what I know to be true." He said it such that he believed the topic should be closed.

T'Pol indicated that the topic was still very much open. "You will make it clear that you do not believe the Humans were the sole or even major driving force behind the Federation. You know that Humans would not have been able to effect the changes without help from others."

Jontek looked at her, wondering why she would push this. "I've never stated otherwise. That has been my contention throughout. Can I help it if my students choose to omit that part of the argument?"

"It is your duty to see that they truly hear that truth as well as your human bias in the material."

"I don't have a human bias in what I teach, T'Pol."

A slight smile crossed T'Pol's face for a nanosecond. "Now it is time for you to cut the…as you so eloquently stated, crap. I've known you too long, Jon, not to know of your pride in humanity. I don't deny that humans have been an important addition to galactic politics. You may even be right that without humans, nothing would have changed. But for the sake of this Department, I need to ask you to put out a clarifying statement which clearly shows that you do not believe that the humans were ultimately the only ones responsible for the Federation and to apologize for any misunderstanding that might have arisen."

Jontek nodded, giving in gracefully. "Fine, T'Pol. I'll have the statement to you later today."

"Thank you, Jontek." Now that the issue at hand had been addressed, she changed the subject. "There is to be a formal function at the Academy this weekend. We have a visiting dignitary from the Yanasic Conclave. I would like for you to be there with me."

"Are you asking me out on a date, T'Pol?"

"No. This is Departmental business. The Yanasasins are interested in Federation admittance but they do not wish to approach the humans yet. They would like the logical Vulcan view before applying for membership."

"And you think I might be able to calm their fear of humans. Okay, T'Pol. Can you provide the specifics of where and when we meditate tonight?"

"Yes. I'll bring your invitation with me. Until later?"

Jontek smiled as he left her office. T'Pol had handled taking him to task for the situation with his students well. He recalled the number of times he had to do the same with members of his crew, Trip coming to mind. Although he often agreed with their reasoning, the bigger picture was often more important. Jon could see how T'Pol's position as chair could be somewhat compromised if he had refused to put out the clarifying statement. He really didn't have a problem with stating his position, but the fact that his student's had not spoken to him directly indicated another issue that would need to be addressed.

He went by the lab to pick up Porthos and take him home for dinner. The dog was having entirely too much fun.


	15. Chapter 15

**Merged**

Chapter 15

Jontek took a final look in the mirror. The Vulcan robes were silk in russet with subtle gold runes embedded in the labels of the outer robe. He had to admit one thing. Vulcan formalwear was much more comfortable that its human counterparts of a military dress uniform or tuxedo. The military dress had a high white collar that always itched and as for the tuxedo…well, there was a reason they called it a monkey suit in his opinion. Of course, Jon had to admit, Earth women really seemed to go for the look. He could recall several occasions through the years, especially after he'd joined Starfleet, when he had formal events he attended with a woman wearing her finest evening dress. Quite a few of those had lead to quite steamy after-the-ball activities. He smiled as he recalled he was still on good terms with many of these ladies. He figured that was due to his discretion. He never told.

T'Pol had indicated that she would pick him up. He looked at his timepiece and realized that he still had a bit of time before he was to leave. He was glad that he didn't have Porthos to worry about tonight. He had allowed Spobra to have Porthos over for the evening. The child and the dog had definitely hit it off and Porthos often visited the family. Since he had the two jobs to attend to, knowing that Porthos was being cared for set his mind at ease.

Jontek decided to check his computer for any messages that might have come in. They found one from T'Plorn. It was an invitation to the celebration of his sa-fu-d-ko-kai's successful completion of his tal'oth. Jontek thought back to the day he had participated in the ritual presentation of the blade before the boy left on his own to conquer the desert with only that blade and the clothes on his back. A tall, thin lad, he had looked unequipped to handle this ordeal. The human half had felt joy when it was learned he had returned, somewhat worse for wear but alive. The Vulcan half had felt satisfaction that his sa-fu-d-ko-kai had completed this Vulcan tradition with honor. Jontek composed his answer agreeing to go to the celebration three days hence.

He found another message from Hoshi. She and Malcolm had finally decided to tie the knot. They wanted Jontek to come to the wedding. In her communiqué, she indicated that T'Pol was being invited as well. Again, there was a distinct difference in how the two halfs responded. Jon was happy his two former officers were ready to share their lives together. Sontek was curious to see a human marriage ceremony. They figured they could broach the potential of traveling together with T'Pol as soon as they ascertained if she had read her invitation yet.

He was about to open yet another message when he heard the expected knock upon the door. Checking his timepiece again, he found that T'Pol was as always right on time. He answered the door. T'Pol stood in the doorway, more beautiful then he'd ever seen her before. Her robes were an olive colored silk in a subtle print of a geometric pattern. It set her eyes off in such a way that took Jontek's breath away. As he gazed at her, the scent of a rare Vulcan cactus flower wafted up, the fragrance subtle and delicate. Jon found another advantage to the Vulcan robes in that his very human response to T'Pol would be unseen. That certainly wouldn't have been the case with human formal wear.

_"Jon, I know that human biology is much different than Vulcan. But I am Vulcan, I don't understand this human response."_

_"I guess if I feel something, our body responds as well."_

_"Normally you allow my thoughts to guide our physical actions."_

_"Yes, but this is not really an 'allow' type of thing. It just sort of happens when a human male is around a beautiful woman. Especially one he has feelings for."_

_"Interesting."_

_"What about Vulcan males?"_

_"We have a …different type of response situation which is more…cyclical."_

_"Hmmm."_

"It is agreeable to see you, Jontek. Are you ready to go?"

Jontek eyes took on a soft gaze as he answered, "It is more than agreeable to see you, T'Pol. And yes, we are ready"

She looked at him quizzically but said nothing. She turned to walk back to the flitter-car and Jontek followed her, closing the door behind him. He opened the door of her flitter-car for her and then waited until she was settled before getting in himself. Jontek recognized the route to the Ministry Hall where the event was to be held. As they drove, it was obvious that T'Pol had something on her mind. Finally she turned to him.

"Jon? Is Sontek present with you?"

Jontek nodded. "Yes, T'Pol. We decided that since I have never been to a formal Vulcan affair as a Vulcan, it would be wise to have Sontek there to guide me. Why do you ask?"

Her countenance showed concern. "Based on your greeting to me at the door, I was unsure."

Jontek explained, "We hadn't arrived at the function yet. We felt I could have a more personal moment with you."

T'Pol nodded, "I understand." She hesitated a moment and then continued. "However, a slight development has occurred. When I asked you to go with me, I had not seen the guest list."

"Why is the guest list important?"

"You know that this event is being held in honor of a visiting dignitary, Ambassador Tonazi of the Yanasic Conclave. Our hope is that we can persuade him to meet with Federation Admissions staff. Soval is here to represent the Federation and Vulcan."

Jontek nodded. "It will be agreeable to see Ambassador Soval. I haven't seen him since we left Earth."

T'Pol looked over to him, indicated she had more information to impart. "There is more, Jontek. S'Bont will be there as well."

At the sound of the man's name, Jontek's face fell. This night meant a great deal to T'Pol. As the chair of her department, how things went this evening would be scrutinized. "Perhaps I should go behind shields and allow Sontek to hold our primary consciousness."

"That will only work for part of the night, Jon. There will be a time that I'll need to have Ambassador Tonazi meet with you to show him that humans are reasonable."

"Why does he think otherwise?"

"They have heard about the incident with the Xazastian Dictator, Pp'ytzic-ton. They do not understand why they should trust a species that targeted civilians. Especially children."

Jontek shook his head, his lips tight. "We never did that. Pp'ytzic-ton used civilians and his own family as a shield. When he continued to allow his ships to practice piracy, resulting in the death of several ships complements, we had to strike. Our intelligence had indicated that he was alone with his generals. We didn't know his children were with him."

T'Pol knew that this incident had hurt Jon. She'd seen him struggle during the time in the Expanse when things went wrong and knew this man would never let something like this be soothed away easily. "I know that Starfleet did not mean to cause the death of the six children. However, it happened and now the Yanasic Conclave is concerned that this is a practice of humans. I need for you to help defuse the situation. Show them that humans are not the monsters they think they are."

Jontek though about it. "We could do that by bringing Jon back to the consciousness when you need him. That way we can prevent S'Bont from needling Jon into a confrontation and still allow Sontek to help out with the diplomatic situation."

"That would be acceptable." They had arrived at their destination. She parked the flitter car and then turned to the man next to her. She addressed the human she had known for many years. "Jon, I'm sorry things developed this way. I was hoping you would begin to learn formal Vulcan protocol."

"Its okay, T'Pol. Another opportunity will arise. You and Sontek are on your home turf. I'll see you later tonight." With that the countenance of the Vulcan changed and T'Pol knew she was in the presence of Sontek alone. She suddenly realized this was the first time this particular situation had developed. Since Jontek had come into her life, she'd either been in the presence of the merged Jontek or the human side, Jon. She'd never actually spent any time with Sontek alone. A part of her was intrigued to see what the evening would bring.

When they arrived at the hall, Sontek had come over to help her out of the flitter-car. She again gave him a quizzical look. "Jon?"

"No, Sontek. Jon is behind shields."

"Why did you help me out of the car? That is a human activity."

Sontek provided his reasoning. "But it is a logical one. You do not want to damage your robes and helping you out of the vehicle prevents opportunities to soil them."

She nodded, stating "Your argument is sound."

They headed into the hall, side by side. When they reached the door, the greeter held out the shar-glashaya, a device about the size of a padd which checked their identities, confirming that both had been invited to the event. While Vulcan was generally safe, it was considered prudent with the high level personnel that were in attendance.

They entered the room. A man of rather small stature for a Vulcan walked up to them. "It is agreeable to see you, T'Pol. Is this Jontek, your newest professor?"

"It is agreeable to see you as well, Swyn. Yes. Jontek, I'd like you to meet the chair of the Archeology Department at the Academy, Swyn."

"I have heard that during the Departmental digs this past summer; you discovered another of Surak's desert schools."

"It was quite a find. We've now found six more records written by the students of Surak. They show the extent of the interest that Surak's teachings provoked after the Awakening. We're finding that early on, there was strife as those who carried Surak's teachings were accepted or persecuted. But ultimately, logic prevailed and even those who initially doubted the practices came to accept them. Except for those who flew beneath the raptors' wings and they choose to leave Vulcan rather than embrace the new order.

They talked for a few minutes more and then Swyn indicated he needed to greet yet another Chair in attendance. He excused himself.

Jontek asked T'Pol if she would like some water. Even at functions such as these, water was the main choice of the Vulcans, although selections more in keeping with their cultures were offered to off-worlders. T'Pol indicated she would and he retrieved two classes of chilled desert spring water. T'Pol appreciated his attentiveness. She felt comfortable with this man.

There were a variety of foods available on tables placed throughout the room, all which would be eaten with a fork. Taking small plates, both of them took a small amount of food, enough to be polite. T'Pol could tell that Sontek had been brought up to fit easily into the academic world. He spoke quietly but thoughtfully and his manners were flawless.

They continued to mingle with the various personages present. The entire time, Sontek kept an eye out for S'Bont. He was just about to tell T'Pol that he thought the man wasn't coming when he saw him arrive. He sighed. T'Pol looked at him, an eyebrow rising.

Sontek looked somewhat embarrassed to be caught in such a human action. "I've found that certain of Jon's human traits have become my own. Sighing seems to be one of them."

T'Pol nodded. "I see. A sigh in a human can indicate many things."

"I know. But in this case, it is due to the arrival of S'Bont and the knowledge that this will not be as pleasant a night as I might have hoped." His demeanor indicated that at the moment, he would truly wish to be somewhere else but was willing to deal with whatever was presented to him with grace and tact.

"I understand."

Figuring that discretion was the better part of valor, they moved toward the other side of the room. Knowing that it was most likely a lost cause, they still hoped he would not discover them too soon.

Indeed, not much time passed before the man homed in on them, making his way deliberately towards them.

"T'Pol and Jontek. I saw your names on the guest list. I did not know you were coming together." How S'Bont could take such an innocuous statement and make it sound like there was more was a amazing feat.

T'Pol calmly addressed S'Bont. "Jontek is on my staff, is it not logical that we would arrive together?"

"I have simply heard that during your sojourn with the humans, you grew to prefer them. Even over your own people."

"That would be an incorrect assessment. I am quite satisfied to be back on Vulcan. I did learn to embrace the diversity that humans pride themselves on accepting. That and the Kir'Shara allowed me to truly understand the meaning of the IDIC."

S'Bont looked annoyed. "The IDIC was developed before we had made first contact with another species. It was meant to apply to the diversity of Vulcans. Not the diversity of off worlders."

"No. I have touched minds that have touched Surak's. I saw the truth within them." T'Pol was amazed that eight years after the Kir'Shara had been restored to Vulcan, there would be people that still did not embrace it.

"You have been deceived, T'Pol. I will admit it was a brilliant political move to restore the so called 'true Kir'Shara' to Vulcan. Creating an artifact that passed every test by the Academy is quite a feat, but eventually I'm sure they will find it to be a forgery."

T'Pol was incredulous. "You're saying you do not believe the science, S'Bont?"

"I'm saying that somehow, things have been faked. I haven't discovered how yet, but someday, I'll have the proof." Turning to Jontek, he asked, "Do you enjoy being T'Pol's kelek-aushfa, Jontek?"

T'Pol rose to his defense. "He is hardly that, S'Bont."

With a look of distain, S'Bont gave T'Pol and icy glare. "I did not direct the question to you, T'Pol."

Sontek quietly answered, "I am not an animal kept for amusement or companionship, S'Bont, and thus I can not be her kelek-aushfa. I am simply a professor in her Department. And, quite frankly, the fact that I'm here is not your concern."

S'Bont straightened at the answer. "You still work in my lab for me, Jontek."

Sontek's voice stayed calm and quiet. "Yes. I have been diligent in meeting the project objectives. We've made great strides in the work." He paused for a moment, "But you do not have jurisdiction over any other part of my life."

S'Bont was ready to pounce. "Do I detect…annoyance?"

Sontek stated directly, "Annoyance is an emotion. I am simply pointing out the facts."

S'Bont cryptically answered, "Just remember, Jontek. Facts can change when a worldview shift occurs. Just because the pendulum has swung in one direction does not mean it won't swing back to the other. Eight years in a Vulcan life does not turn things upside down."

Sontek's logical argument continued. "No. However, just as Surak caused Vulcan to Awaken to a new reality, finding the true Kir'Shara has been equally as important. Vulcan has reawoken during these past eight years. I do not believe a pendulum is the right analogy to use in this matter. It is more like a wave that washes over the landscape and changes things irreversibly."

"We shall see, Jontek…and T'Pol."

He started to turn to leave when Jontek said softly "May Surak's peace find you tonight, S'Bont."

The man stopped for a second and paused, giving Jontek a gaze that seemed to indicate an almost emotional response and a negative one at that. He continued to turn and walk away.

A moment later, Soval approached them. "It is agreeable to see you T'Pol and you as well, Jontek." Continuing to address the man who now incorporated both a fine young Vulcan and the Human he had come to know so well, "Vulcan seems to be agreeing with your two halves."

"Soval, it is agreeable to see you as well." T'Pol and Jontek had almost spoken in unity.

Jontek clarified the situation to Soval. "Vulcan has been a good choice. I need to let you know, however, Jon is not exactly present at the moment."

Remembering the day at the Vulcan Compound on Earth, he nodded. "He is behind shields?" When he received an answer in the affirmative he stated, "I need for Jon to speak with Ambassador Tonazi. The success of this diplomatic mission depends on it."

Sontek continued to explain. "Jon will be available when he is needed. I will be able to bring him to consciousness whenever you are ready."

Soval nodded. "The there is no time like the present. That is an Earth phase I've always admired."

"Indeed."

_"Jon?" _It took a moment but a few seconds later, Jontek's face took on a slightly different look.

_"Yeah?"_

_"We need you to come to the fore. We're about to meet the Vanasian ambassador, Tonazi."_

It took a moment for Jon to get his bearings. For a second he remembered Trip's statement that there were "great parties at the Vulcan Compound." Things at this gathering were subdued and quite tame by human standards, even for a diplomatic reception. Vulcans stood in small groups discussing various topics. As he passed one group, they were discussing various uses for statistical calculations and which issues different ones were appropriate for. Riveting conversation.

The group of three made their way to the Vanasian ambassador. He was finishing a conversation with Swyn, comparing the types of ruins to be found on their mutual planets. As the Vanasian topography on their home planet, where Tonazi lived, provided many caves, there were few actual structures built. Rather, the caves themselves were turned into living and work quarters. Swyn noted Soval's indication that he would like to speak with the Ambassador. Swyn excused himself and went to refill his drink.

Soval introduced the two Vulcans by his side. "Ambassador Tonazi. I would like you to meet T'Pol, the head of the Department of Federation Studies and Jontek, one of her professors."

Tonazi bowed deeply. "Glad am I to be seeing these persons."

T'Pol & Jontek gave bows in return. T'Pol spoke for the two of them. "We are honored."

Soval continued, explaining Jontek's unique perspective. "Jontek had a situation occur about six months ago. He was in an accident which resulted in the Vulcan Sontek being merged with the Human, Admiral Jonathan Archer."

Tonazi's face took on a look that could be confusion or upset. "In Starfleet was this Archer?"

Jontek answered, "Yes, the human half of us is an Admiral in Starfleet."

The Ambassador's tone indicated anger. "Killed children did this Starfleet."

Jontek shook his head. "That was an accident. We did not know the children were there."

Tonazi was adamant. "Attack anyway did Starfleet."

Jontek looked at Tonazi. He felt he had to let the man know what had occurred in more detail. "No. If we had known, we would not have launched the attack at that time. Our informants had assured us that Pp'ytzic-ton was alone. We believed no others would be killed except his generals who were equally guilty of piracy, and ultimately the death of many beings from various planets in the sector." He stopped for a moment and then looked at the Ambassador, an honest expression evident in his face. "Human's take innocent life very seriously. We do not kill indiscriminately."

"Skeptical is Vanasian Conclave. Trust Earth little now."

Jontek gave it one more appeal. "Give Earth a chance. The people of Earth want to support peace in the Galaxy. We do not take military action without provocation and have offered ourselves to solve problems diplomatically. The Federation is not just for Earth, or for any particular group. It is for all."

The Ambassador showed signs of a change to at least listen, but threw out one more concern. "Federation. Are not Klingons. Are not Suliban."

Jontek answered with sincerity. "Because they have chosen not to participate and to meet all other species on a level playing field. The Federation is not for those who would take advantage of others. It is a place to solve disputes peacefully. To band together."

Tonazi nodded his head and touched his temples. "Speaks well this Archer/Sontek. Federation may be good for explore, Tonazi thinks. Learn more willing this Federation."

Soval spoke again nodding in Jontek's direction. "We hope to greet you in Federation councils, Ambassador Tonazi." He indicated to the Ambassador that he had some other personages that wanted to meet him. Ambassador Tonazi agreed and they left Jontek and T'Pol alone.

T'Pol was pleased. "Excellent, Jontek. Knowing that the Vanasians are willing to learn about the benefits of Federation membership will go a long way towards building the base. The Vanasian Conclave holds many worlds."

"Glad we could help, T'Pol." Jontek noticed that S'Bont was heading their way again. "Do you think we could leave now that we've got the Vanasian Conclave on the right path? I don't really wish to deal with S'Bont all night."

T'Pol nodded. "I understand. Yes. We can go if you wish."

"We do."

They placed their glasses upon a table and left. As they walked towards the flitter car, T'Pol thought of how comfortable she had been with Sontek earlier. Tonight had been a win for everyone all around. Except for S'Bont, she thought. Sontek hadn't given him any quarter.

"T'Pol?"

"Yes?"

"Have you received a communiqué from Hoshi?"

"Yes, I noticed one came in but I haven't opened it yet."

"You might want to when you get home tonight."

"Okay. I thank both of you for a pleasant evening and your assistance in this delicate situation with the Conclave."

"It was our pleasure, T'Pol."


	16. Chapter 16

**Merged**

Chapter 16

Jontek was pleased that he and T'Pol were traveling back to Earth for Hoshi's and Malcolm's wedding. From the date the invitations had arrived, they'd had two months to plan the time away from their jobs on Vulcan. Seeing as Jontek worked for T'Pol's Department, it was felt that to quash any rumors that might develop as well as to provide Hoshi with some assistance, T'Pol would stay at Hoshi's home. Since taking on the Communications Department of Starfleet Academy, Hoshi had purchased a home in the hills of San Francisco. It was nice. Jontek would, of course, stay in his apartment.

Malcolm had a small apartment as well, although he seldom used it. As chief of Starfleet Security he was often away, providing training in weaponry and ballistics, inspecting various ships' security sections, and generally enjoying his life. He planned to give the apartment up after the wedding and move into Hoshi's house. He had quite of bit of his things there anyways.

Porthos had been left back on Vulcan with Spobra's family. The canine was getting older and the change in temperatures, gravity, air pressure and all for a second time in seven months did not seem kind to the animal. Besides, Savan had figured out a recipe that provided Porthos with the taste and texture of cheddar but without the side effects. Jontek wasn't sure how he did it, but the little dog sure enjoyed being at their home.

As Jontek walked back into the space that had been Jon's home on Earth, he felt memories playing through their shared mind from Jon's viewpoint. This had been his home for many since he'd joined Starfleet. He had returned again and again to this abode. Every picture on the wall, every photo still spoke of the man who had inhabited it. He looked out the window at San Francisco and suddenly, Sontek felt a deep sadness envelope his other half.

_"Jon? Are you all right?"_

_"I guess it just hit me. This really isn't my home anymore. We live on Vulcan."_

_"It will always be our home as well. I believe there is a concept on Earth. One's home away from home. This apartment is like that We may live on Vulcan but you are still of Earth.."_

The human side sighed. _"You're right. Whenever we come to Earth, this is our home. Still, I can't help but think about the way things used to be for me. I'm not complaining, Sontek. I truly feel content in our life. Yet…"_

_"You wish to exist as yourself alone again. I understand. I too miss being only me. I accept our fate and have grown to truly embrace your presence. It has been an incredible journey. Yet, I cannot say that if there had been another way, I wouldn't have taken it."_

They unpacked their luggage, putting their clothing into the still full closet. Jontek pulled out a casual outfit and tried it on. He was surprised to find that the clothes did not fit him quite as snugly as he remembered them. For the first time in awhile, he took the time to really look at himself in the mirror. He found that he'd lost weight.

Continuing to examine the man in the mirror, what he saw pleased and shocked him at the same time. On the one hand, he could clearly see that they were Sontek with all the physical attributes of the Vulcan. And yet, there was a human countenance as well. It was as if the muscles on his face had accepted both of them and was showing the two to the world as one. They had become truly merged when neither was behind shields.

They decided to try that out as well. Jon was the first to pull up the dividing mental construct and allow Sontek to see himself with their primary consciousness. Sontek had been somewhat concerned to have seemingly lost himself in the merged being. Yet now, looking at himself, he found he looked mostly as he always had. He was fully Sontek now, a Vulcan. It gave him a sense of self. He was satisfied. He called to Jon and let him have his turn. Somehow he knew this would be an emotional experience for the Human, being back on his planet, his space, his 'turf.'

Jon looked into the mirror, holding their primary consciousness, and found a Vulcan face that reflected humanness in it. He knew he would never see his own face in a mirror again. The face he had looked at just about everyday of his life prior to the accident. The face that he saw in the pictures that were scattered around the apartment. He and his father. He, A.G., and Trip. He and his crew. He, Rebecca, and Porthos. He and T'Pol.

He was surprised to see a tear drop from his eye. He wiped it away quickly. There was nothing to be gained by feeling sorry for himself. This was reality. It could not be changed. Yet another tear came unbidden, and then another producing streaks down the high boned Vulcan cheeks. Without realizing when it happened, he found himself on his bed, his face in the pillow which continued to sop up the tears that he didn't seem able to stop. After awhile though, they stopped on their own. He continued to lie on his side on the bed, drained…thinking.

He had to admit, he had found he liked being on Vulcan. Being in a Vulcan's body may have played a role in that feeling but he felt it was more. He enjoyed teaching at the Academy. Mostly, though, he enjoyed being with T'Pol in her environment, seeing her deftly move through Vulcan society with an ease she did not always show with humans. Prior to going to Vulcan, he would have sworn she was comfortable in his world; that she had learned to accept life with humans like a glove. He now knew that was not really true.

A bitter laugh left his lips. His world. His world was now hers. He thought how T'Pol had changed through the years. T'Pol was more comfortable than any Vulcan he had ever known while in contact with humans. He knew she had developed that over time, over the many months and years she had spent on Enterprise. And yet, seeing her on Vulcan, seeing how she handled being on her home world, he knew that the woman he loved was still truly Vulcan.

He stopped for a moment and thought about the man he now was. He suddenly realized that he truly cared about the being he'd been forced to learn to live with. Initially, he'd been certain there was no way that a human and Vulcan could coexist this way. That it was a doomed arrangement from the start. They didn't just coexist though, they thrived. He and Sontek had found a way to do it.

He knew, of course, that it had been a joint agreement to do this. Jon could tell that Sontek cared about him as well. He had helped him to fit in on T'Pol's world. Jon had found that the man he'd been merged with was a being he respected, a man who when presented with an opportunity to live the IDIC had accepted that reality. This experience had taught Jon many things, and learning that Vulcan's came in more than one model had been huge. Oh, he'd accepted that on several levels before. After all, T'Pol had been his first teacher. Then Surak. Then Soval. Yet his experience with Sontek had provided him with a deeper understanding of this reality than any he had faced before. He looked at his timepiece and realized that he'd been musing for over an hour. Time to bring Sontek back.

After contacting the Vulcan, Jon voiced mentally, _"Thank you."_

_"For what?"_ Sontek's hand reached to his face, feeling the tightness from dried tears. _"What happened?"_

_"I've had a catharsis. For the first time since our accident, my emotions of loss flowed out. I realized that I needed to thank you for accepting me. For finding a way to make this work with me."_

_"I believe my response should be, 'you're welcome.' Will you be all right or will this catharsis keep occurring? It is not seemly for a Vulcan to cry."_

_"Yes. I'll be fine. Human males don't generally make a habit of it, either. Human women are another story. I guess I didn't realize how coming back to Earth would affect me."_

_"Indeed."_ He checked his timepiece. _"We have dinner plans tonight. I believe we should plan on getting cleaned up."_

_"That is a logical plan."_

XoXoXoXoXoXoXoXo

They all arrived at Madame Wong's, Hoshi's favorite Chinese restaurant in San Francisco, enjoying the camaraderie of long friendships. This had been Hoshi's favorite Chinese restaurant in the Bay City for as long as Jon had known her. Hoshi had invited Travis and he was thrilled and happy when all congratulated him on making Lt. Commander. She had asked Phlox as well, but he was back on Denobula and would not be able to arrive until the day before the wedding. Being together like this brought the memory of their fallen colleague, Charles "Trip" Tucker, III to the minds of all gathered. They raised their glasses in toast to the man, sad that he would not be with them again.

Jontek noted that after the toast, the Humans at the table made sly glances at him, not wanting to be seen looking, but exhibiting that very human trait of morbid curiosity.

"I'm still here, guys." He knew that the juxtaposition of considering Trip's death with the reality that they would never see Jonathan Archer again was the key. After all, he'd had a similar reaction earlier. "Look at it this way; you gained Sontek as a friend as well."

"That's true, 'Jontek.'" Travis stated, smiling. "It may not be exactly the same as before, but you both are alive. I'm thankful for that."

"We all are. And happy that you'll be with Hoshi and me on our big day. It means a lot to us."

"Okay, that's enough. Don't need to get emotional about it."

The humans laughed and Jontek gave a smile. T'Pol just raised and eyebrow. The dinner commenced and all parties were happy to provide updates on their most recent activities and plans for the future. Talk turned to the Federation and situations that were of concern in their part of the galaxy.

Travis, still an explorer and close to the scuttlebutt asked, "Did you hear about the Andorian Rowtorn Syndrome? It started on a planet close to Romulan space. They think it might be a virus which took hold during the war since it didn't start affecting their population until Rowtorn was discovered and settled."

T'Pol asked, "What are the symptoms?"

Travis explained. "There seems to be five stages of the disease. First the Andorians experience pain in their muscles and joints with accompanying headaches. This progresses to mental confusion and chronic fatigue, and then to short-term memory loss accompanied by gastrointestinal upsets. Stage Five is characterized by food intolerances, allergies, and vision problems ending quickly in death. It takes about 6 months for the disease to run its course."

Jontek looked thoughtful. "When did this start?"

"Only about eight months ago. It's been spreading from planet to planet, heading towards their home world. My understanding is there isn't a cure since they don't know what's causing it."

T'Pol was concerned. "I don't know why we haven't heard of it on Vulcan. We should be having our doctors working with the Andorians on a potential cure."

"I guess the Andorians haven't been very willing to speak of it until recently. They thought they could handle the epidemic themselves. You know how self-sufficient they are. Now, they are hoping the Federation will help them."

Talk continued through the evening. It was late when they decided to call it a night.  
As Jontek headed towards home, something hovered in his thoughts. He couldn't seem to capture the idea, though. He noted that he seemed to be somewhat distracted. He figured that it was, perhaps a combination of his earlier thoughts or perhaps seeing old friends. He decided to let it go for now. At some point the thought was sure to come back.


	17. Chapter 17

**Merged**

Chapter 17

When Jontek awoke the next morning, he found several messages waiting for him. One was from Admiral Gardner. He had contacted him prior to leaving Vulcan and let him know when he'd be arriving. Gardner was asking to meet with him the next morning. As the wedding was still three days hence, he readily agreed.

The other was from Malcolm. Jon was a little surprised to see the message since he'd been with him the night before and he could have talked with him then. The message indicated that he wanted Jon to meet him later that afternoon at a little Italian place down by the wharf. He sent a message indicating he would do so.

The third message was from a researcher from S'Bont's previous lab assignment. It was a laboratory that dealt with Inorganic Bio research and the researcher, T'Nar indicated that she had learned of something that she wanted to discuss with him. She'd heard he was someone that could be trusted. He sent her back a communiqué letting her know he would be back on Vulcan in two weeks and he would contact her then.

He quickly fixed a breakfast of oatmeal and tea. Jon had learned during their previous time on Earth that Sontek really liked oatmeal. He found the flavor exquisite. Jon had to admit, Vulcan taste buds could appreciate the subtle flavor better then Human ones. Besides, he hadn't been to the store yet and they didn't have much in the way of fresh food. Pantry staples were adequate.

Coming out of the shower, Jontek heard the phone and picked it up. "Hello?"

"Jontek?"

"Hi, T'Pol. What's going on?"

"I just wanted to let you know. Hoshi wants to take a shuttle down to Brazil today. She has some flowers to bring back for her wedding. She said she wants to make it a 'girl's day out.'"

He smiled. "That sounds like fun." Jontek recalled back to the day when Jon had rushed down to Brazil to convince Hoshi to leave her job early and come back with him for Enterprise's first mission. He knew Hoshi loved Brazil with its varied flora and fauna. He wasn't surprised that she'd like flowers from there at her wedding. "You both have fun. And T'Pol? If she tries to get you to drink a Cachaça, turn her down. You'll get a headache for sure."

"Vulcans don't usually get headaches."

"Trust me on this one."

They talked for a few minutes longer and then signed off. Jontek spent the rest of the morning shopping and getting other correspondence taken care of. He arrived at the Italian place, Giovanni's, at two o'clock to meet Malcolm. It was a bit run down and looked as if it had seen better days. Maybe it was just a nice hole-in-the-wall.

He noted that the door was on the side of the building and was hidden from the street. He was about to enter when he felt two men grab him, one pressing a hypospray into his neck. It must have been a Vulcan tranquilizer because almost immediately he became limp in their arms. He felt himself being pulled to a waiting shuttle that had been parked in a loading dock. He tried to keep his eyes open but the drug took it's full effect and he lost consciousness.

He awoke in a small room, lying on a cot. As he looked up, he saw Malcolm standing by the door.

Jontek looked at him, surprise and anger in his gaze. "What the hell's going on, Malcolm?"

Malcolm pulled himself up to his full height. "Sorry, sir. I couldn't tell you more and we couldn't meet at Giovani's. Too many ears."

"That place didn't look like there would be many ears at all."

"For something of this magnitude, I had to be certain."

Again, the surprise in Jontek's voice was evident. "You did this?"

"As I said. I'm sorry. But it was necessary. You know the conversation we had at dinner last night?" Malcolm was leading this conversation so Jontek decided to follow along and see where it lead.

"There were several things discussed," answered the Jontek, non-committedly.

"The part about the Andorian Epidemic."

Jontek nodded. "Yeah."

Here it came. Jontek knew by the way Malcolm slightly relaxed. It was as if when the point was reached the man followed a dictum of 'damn the torpedoes, full speed ahead.' "Well, Section 31 is worried this is a work of bioterrorism. They are afraid this is being done to disrupt Federation activities, rekindle old feuds."

Jontek was surprised. He thought that Malcolm had left that group years before. "You're still a member of Section 31?"

"Not exactly. But in my role as Head of Starfleet Security, we sometimes work together."

Now it was time to find out why Malcolm would resort to kidnapping him. "Why did you bring me into this?"

"There are several potential groups that would utilize these tactics."

Again the build up. Jontek just wanted Malcolm to cut to the chase. "And…"

"One of them might be a faction on Vulcan." There was that release of tension again.

Sontek's thoughts came to the fore. "Vulcan's wouldn't resort to bioterrorism. At least not anymore."

Malcolm looked at the Jontek again, sadly disagreeing with him. "Not all Vulcan's accept the Kir'Shara. The numbers are fewer, but there are still some that wish to return to what they saw as their 'glory days.'"

Jon answered. "That is true. Not all Vulcans support the current government. Bioterrorism, though, is against the precepts that Vulcans have always stood for. I can't see anyone doing this."

Malcolm argued, "Would that be any worse than putting a listening post in a monastery? Or trying to start a war with rumors about a preemptive strike from the other side? We saw both of those years ago."

"That's the point. It was years ago. A lot of things have changed since then."

Malcolm persisted and offered a compromise. "There are still many that would benefit by a return to those values. Listen. All we're asking is that you keep an open mind and an open eye to things happening. If you feel there is something there, let me know and I'll make sure that it gets looked at. If there isn't, no harm in asking you to keep an eye out."

Jontek nodded. "I can accept that. Still, I don't understand why the cloak and dagger about this. You could have talked to us about this without knocking us out and dragging us here."

Malcolm shook his head. "Think about it, Jontek. If there is something to it and that information got into the wrong hands before it could be dealt with, the Federation could come apart at the seams. Do you want that?"

"No. Of course not."

"Then you understand why I had to be sure it was a secure location."

"Okay. You're right." Jontek stopped and looked to him, "Does Hoshi know you do this kind of thing?"

"Yeah. Well, sort of. She's been brought in a few times as a communications expert." Malcolm smiled. "Now. Let me get you home. We can stop by somewhere on the way back for an early dinner. My treat."

Jontek nodded. "After the stunt you just pulled, you better believe it."

Malcolm took Jontek out for some incredibly good Japanese food. The tempura vegetables were excellent and the California rolls delicious.

_"What is the green vegetable?"_

_"That's avocado."_

_"It has a unique flavor. I rather like it."_

_"There's this place in New Mexico that does an Avacado pie…"_

_"What is pie?"_

_"Hmmm. I keep forgetting. You haven't spent a great deal of time following Human activities on Earth. We'll have to remedy that soon."_

_"I suppose. I'm not sure I feel up to now though. I'm feeling a bit disoriented. I'm not exactly sure why. Perhaps the concept that Vulcans might resort to bioterrorism is bothering me."_

_"I can see how it might."_

After the meal, Jon was taken back to where he'd left his car over by Giovanni's. He went back to the apartment. The day had worn him out more than he thought. They meditated awhile but then turned in early to a rather restless sleep.

XoXoXoXoXoXoXoXoXo

The next morning, Jontek got up and ready. The last time he'd seen Admiral Gardner, he was still reeling from the results of the accident and the need to face the reality of the aftermath. Now things were much different. Still, he was facing this meeting with some trepidation. He'd always felt that things had only been left the way they were to provide time and time had passed. He knew how Starfleet operated and the status quo was not likely to remain static forever.

Arriving at Starfleet Headquarters, he went through the procedures that had caused him such difficulties when he'd last been on Earth. His actions then had been grossly illogical. Now, the entire situation made sense. He was given his badge and he headed up on the elevator. Walking into Admiral Gardner's outer office, the Ensign at the desk was obviously expecting him since Jontek was shown right in.

Jontek walked into the inner office, noting that nothing much had changed even while everything had. "Good morning, Admiral. It is agreeable to see you."

"Good morning, Jontek. You're looking well. Life on Vulcan must suit you."

"We are both doing things which we enjoy."

Gardner asked, "You're teaching at the Academy?"

Jontek recognized the smalltalk. Gardner had something to say and was taking his time to get there. "Yes, in the Federation Studies Department. And working in an Astrophysics lab. Between the two, we have fairly busy week."

"I'm glad to hear that." Gardner cleared his throat, a sure sign that the pleasantries had been dispensed with and it was time to get down to brass tacks. "I received a phone call last night that changed the direction of this meeting."

Jontek was surprised. "Care to elaborate?"

"Well, Starfleet was wondering about discharging you due to medical reasons rather than having you on indefinite medical leave. I wanted to discuss that possibility with you today. However, I received a call from Starfleet Security asking me to hold off on that action. This isn't due to your friendship with Captain Reed is it?"

"No. Not due to friendship. He's asked us to look into something. I suppose he figures if I still hold the rank, even if I'm on medical leave, it would be better."

It was Gardner's turn to be surprised. "I see. Do you care to elaborate?"

"No. It's strictly on a need to know basis. I'm sorry."

Gardner wasn't happy but he did understand. It was about seven months before when he'd offered Jontek a way to stay active in Starfleet and the man had turned him down. He figured this must be something important if he was working with Security on a clandestine mission. He nodded. "Should we reactivate your status?"

"No. I'm still on medical leave. That won't ever change."

Gardner looked at the man before him. He had changed in the intervening months. On the one hand, he seemed calmer, more…dare he say it, more Vulcan? But there was more. He could still hear Jon's speech pattern, see his expressions, and feel his presence. It wasn't there all the time, but enough. He reached out to his friend. "Are you happy, Jon?"

"We are content."

"Yes. Well, I hope that things continue to go well for you."

"Thank you. And don't worry. Time does have a way of making things acceptable." Jontek spread his fingers into the Vulcan 'V.' "Live long and prosper, Admiral."

"And to you as well, Jontek."

They turned and walked out of the room. Yes, that status quo was changing. He just had a little more time before it was final.

The rest of the day, Jontek was spending with T'Pol. They had both been invited to the Starfleet Academy for Political Science departmental dinner. T'Pol had been asked to report on her department's recent activities at the Vulcan Science Academy. Starfleet Academy had made a suggestion that the two departments should develop a parallel curriculum to better serve Federation needs. This was a first step in developing such a program.

Jontek asked her how she had liked Brazil and she indicated that she had enjoyed seeing what Hoshi had shown her. She thanked Jontek for his suggestion about the drink. She had stuck to bottled water.

The evening went well. Jontek was pleased to see how well T'Pol still was able to fit human protocols. She was an amazing woman. It was something that both halves of him agreed on. 

Jontek was still feeling somewhat unsettled. He wondered if the last two days events were to blame. After all, to some extents he had agreed to be a type of spy and now he knew for certain what his eventual status would be in Starfleet. It was certainly enough to provide issues to meditate on. After the dinner, they had returned to his apartment and they and T'Pol had meditated together, something the three of them had started a month before on Vulcan. It had somewhat bothered him that T'Pol's closeness was more distracting than usual. Jontek figured that as this was Jon's apartment that might provide a clue to his agitation. After T'Pol left to go back to Hoshi's he found he had another restless night, dreams of T'Pol being a central theme.

XoXoXoXoXoXoXoXo

The wedding day for Malcolm and Hoshi had arrived. They were to be married in the Starfleet Academy Interfaith Chapel. The inside of the chapel had bouquets of tropical flowers on the inside aisle, filling the air with fragrance.

The wedding itself was small. The families of the bride and groom were present and a few friends, many who they had served with in their military careers. Dr. Phlox had arrived the previous night. Malcolm stood at the front of the chapel, obviously a bit nervous. He stopped any evidence of his nervousness, though, when Hoshi entered the room. It was as if only the two of them were there as he watched her stroll down the center aisle.

Jontek was stunned by Hoshi. She had a simple white dress and had the same type of tropical flowers in her hair and in the flowers she carried. She looked exotic, she looked ecstatic. As she reached Malcolm, the groom took her hand and they looked into each other's eyes. The service was brief but moving, with Hoshi and Malcolm reading the vows they had written in lieu of a more traditional ceremony.

_"This is how Humans bond?"_

_"It's one way that we marry."_

_"And to marry is to bond?"_

_"Many would consider that a true statement."_

The presiding official, a non-denominational chaplain, pronounced the two officers husband and wife. Jontek smiled as Malcolm swept Hoshi into his arms, kissing her with more passion then he'd ever seen the man show before. After being introduced as a married couple to the persons present, Malcolm and Hoshi left the chapel, the rest of the people following after. The reception festivities, held in the upper room of Madame Wong's went long into the night.

Jontek had enjoyed speaking to Phlox again. Phlox had indicated that for the next week, he was planning on attending a conference on Mars regarding desert climates and the similarity of pathogens on arid planets.

Malcolm and Hoshi were going to a very private beach in Mexico for their Honeymoon but due to weather issues had put the trip off a few days. They expected to be leaving in the afternoon three days hence. In the meantime, they were heading up to Napa Valley to stay a quiet, out of the way bed and breakfast.

Jon noticed that Sontek had pulled back behind shields no more than an hour into the reception. He figured that perhaps the overwhelming emotional response of the Humans was the cause. He had a wonderful time and was surprised to find Hoshi's garter in his hands after Malcolm shot the thing into the air. He smiled. Not likely to fulfill that tradition anytime soon.

XoXoXoXoXoXoXoXo

The next morning, Jon woke up with Sontek still behind shields. He couldn't recall a single time since the accident that this had occurred. He softly touched the barrier. _"Sontek?"_

There was a urgency to the answer. _"Jon. I need to be alone."_

_"Is something wrong?"_ Jon was concerned.

Sontek hesitated. _"I don't know. I must work through this on my own."_

_"You sure you don't want to talk?"_

With a vehemence that shocked Jon a bit, Sontek answered with finality. _"No! I've told you. This is something I have to handle myself. Now leave me alone."_ With that, the shields had gone up again.

Jon wondered if the discussion they had had with Malcolm was still bothering Sontek. He knew that the man took pride in his Vulcan heritage, in following Surak's teachings. Perhaps the idea that other Vulcan's would decide to harm others to further their own agenda's was causing him pain. He decided to give Sontek some space. He'd come around in his own time.

He called T'Pol. She had just received a summons to the Vulcan Compound. The Vanasian Ambassador was in negotiations with the Federation Council regarding membership. He had requested her presence at the talks. She'd asked if Jontek would be helpful to be there as well and Ambassador had stated he would rather deal for now with pure Humans to better understand their positions. She figured it might be two to three days before she was free.

Left alone to his own devices, Jon decided to spend the next couple of days catching up on Water Polo Matches. He hadn't really watched many while on Vulcan, not wanting to subject Sontek to them as his Vulcan half simply did not understand the water based sport. He fixed some popcorn and sat on the couch. Time for a little immersion in a purely Human pastime.


	18. Chapter 18

**A/N: Please heed this warning. When this was posted in its debut format, several people got upset with this chapter. I do not want to spoil it, but proceed at your own caution and know that this is keeping with 40 year ST Canon (going back to concepts first stated in The Original Series.)**

**Merged**

Chapter 18

It was during the morning on the second day after Sontek had decided to pull behind his mental shields. Jon had spent the last two days watching Water Polo. He had decided this was definitely a good idea since he had obviously caught some sort of bug. He'd started feeling feverish about the middle of the first day and had continued to experience what felt like a physical reaction to something. He was going to call Phlox but T'Pol had called earlier and said she would be by later. He'd indicated he didn't want her to get sick. She had answered that she was sure everything would be fine.

Jon had expected Sontek to come out sooner or later, but he'd been hoping sooner. The fact that he was still behind shields concerned him. He had tried a few times to reach Sontek but it was as if he had pulled the shields around him, defying Jon to come in. Not since the first days on Tanansis V had Jon felt so confused and alone. This was just not like the man he'd learned to know in the past seven months.

He noticed that one of the shields was slipping and he tried to reach Sontek to find out what was wrong. He was shocked when he touched his other half's mind. Jon had never studied psychology beyond the required coursework that command staff was required to take, but he knew something was very wrong. Normally Sontek's thoughts were logical and ordered. What he touched were more like the ravings of a madman.

Jon couldn't understand what had happened. He had continued to notice the build up of adrenaline and it felt like the fever was getting worse. They hadn't been sick since the moment they had awoken in the medical unit on after the surgery that had merged them. He'd never thought about that before. Could this bug be affecting the Vulcan's mind? He might have to contact Phlox soon. He hoped that T'Pol would be able to tell him what to do.

He decided to try once more. _"Sontek? Are you okay?"_

A vehement shout of _"Leave me!"_ was the answer.

_"You know I can't leave you. What's going on?"_

_"I said leave me!"_ The order was again mentally shouted at Jon. Jon was shocked and he was frightened. Sontek was mentally ill. That was only logical conclusion. Something was affecting him in a horrid way and Jon didn't know how to stop it. He couldn't imagine spending his existence in the presence of insanity and he was unsure if something of this magnitude could be temporary. He decided to see if he could find a way around the shield, see if he could learn more about what was happening. He softly pushed on the edges and found a slight crack. He entered in and was immediately hit by confusing thoughts and images. It was if the entire world had turned upside down and inside out. This was worse than any anomaly in the Expanse. Jon continued in, praying he could find his way out again.

After a few moments, Jon ran up against something that figuratively made his blood run cold. He had touched on a thought that Sontek had about T'Pol. In it, he had ripped the clothes from her body and was sexually attacking her, clawing at her skin, biting her. Jon wasn't sure but this felt like more than a fantasy, it felt like an imperative. Putting it into the only perspective he understood, it felt like his other half was planning to rape her. He headed back to his own mind. T'Pol would be here within the hour. He had to stop Sontek. He had to protect T'Pol.

He called Malcolm receiving a voice mail. He hoped fervently Malcolm would pick up his messages. As he recalled, they weren't leaving until this afternoon. If anyone could handle a security issue like this, Malcolm could. He marked the message as urgent, asking his friend to come and help him.

He started thinking about what he might be able to do. One of Jon's previous girlfriends had liked rough sex. She had been a bit kinkier than most of the girls he'd dated. Initially he'd found it a bit of a turn on that she was into that kind of thing, that she had enjoyed being tied up. She'd had him purchase real handcuffs at one point. It wasn't long after that, though, that she'd upped the stakes in the game and had wanted to get into whips and chains. That was it. They'd split up. He wasn't into that.

Although he'd never used them again, he still had the handcuffs in the apartment. They were in a box on the top shelf of the closet. Jon retrieved them. He closed the door to the bedroom and handcuffed himself to the bed, throwing the key to the other side of the room. He figured if nothing else, that would keep him away from T'Pol. He continued trying to call Malcolm. He left a message with Phlox as well. He tried to call T'Pol but she was not picking up either. He felt a panic like he never had before.

Jon found that the fever was continuing to get worse. Sontek had realized that they were confined and he pulled at the cuffs, causing the metal to chaff at his wrist. He was close to breaking the skin when he heard the door being opened. He cursed himself that he'd given T'Pol a key.

"Jontek? Where are you?" T'Pol's voice was calling from the other room causing Sontek to pull harder on the confined wrist.

The voices from Sontek's mind started spilling over to Jon's side making it hard to think. He yelled out, fear in his voice. "Get away, T'Pol! Something is wrong! You need to get the police!"

Instead he heard the door to the room being open. Sontek pulled harder on the handcuff. He heard their wrist crack and knew it was broken. Sontek continued to pull on it, determined to get free. "T'Pol! Go away! That's an order! Don't come in here without the police!"

"Jontek, what's wrong?" She continued to come into the room. She took in the sight, concern appearing on her face. "You're in Pon'farr."

Jon could feel his free hand reaching for the one that was confined. The one that was keeping him from T'Pol. With strength he had never felt before, the free hand grabbed the other and squeezed. He felt the bones in his hand being broken. The hand slipped easily from the handcuff. Suddenly, he was free and moving toward T'Pol.

Jon tried again to pull the Mr. Hyde his Vulcan partner had become away from T'Pol. Part of him knew he wouldn't be able to but he had to try. With a voice that was in absolute panic, he cried, begging her, "Please T'Pol! Please! Just Run!"

"No! I can help!" As the Vulcan man reached her, she put her hand up to his face, entering his mind. Jon felt her coolness calm the fever somewhat but not enough. His one good hand was grabbing her clothes, ripping them from her body.

Suddenly, T'Pol's thoughts were his. _"Jon, you must go behind shields."_

He refused, _"No! I won't leave you! He'll hurt you!"_

_"You must!"_ He could feel T'Pol being pulled toward Sontek, being ripped away from him.

_"No.!"_ He was losing her, and he was afraid.

T'Pol mentally started to build a shield in front of him. _"Jon, trust me! This is Vulcan biology! I must help Sontek!"_ He felt her begging him to follow what she asked. _"I can't protect you at the same time!"_ He started to refuse again when she reminded him of the Seleya. _"This is not like that, Jon. I can save him. It's the only way I can save you. Trust me! Please! No matter what don't come out until I say you can."_

It was the hardest thing that Jon had ever done. The woman he loved had pushed him away, asking him to trust her. Asking him to hide himself. How could he hide when she was being raped? He couldn't let that happen. Why would she ask him to do this?

He continued to feel sensations he'd never experienced. It felt like rage. It felt like anger. He could feel his body doing things that he equated with abuse. Finally, he decided that trusting T'Pol was not the wisest action. He wasn't a coward. He'd stop Sontek from hurting her no matter what the cost. He had to try.

As Jon pulled the shields down he was shocked. Sontek was sexually attacking T'Pol with a vengeance that he could not fathom. She was fighting back; he could see that, her nails scratched at his face, drawing blood. And still Sontek pushed her down, under him. He wouldn't stop.

Jon used all of the mental strengths he had learned over the past seven months and pulled at Sontek. The man turned on him, beating him with psi slugs of mental powers, each one hitting him like a photon cannon. He felt T'Pol interject between them. To Sontek she sensuously soothed him, _"No, Sontek! I am yours! Let this one go! He is weak and vanquished! Take your prize! I burn for you"_

To Jon, she again begged him. _"He will kill you, Jon. Please, I would die if that happened. Do not come out again!"_ With that she pushed him behind the shields again.

Jon didn't know how long he stayed. It felt like hours, like days. He was injured, he knew that. It was hard to think. He'd ceased feeling, giving up most of the consciousness to Sontek. T'Pol was probably right, if Sontek had hit him any more with the psi slugs, he'd probably be dead. He wondered what that would have done to Sontek? If he mentally was gone but the physical structure was still in place.

Finally, he felt T'Pol coming to him. He could tell she had been attacked multiple times but she did not seem hurt by it. Indeed, she seemed calm, almost appeased.

T'Pol thoughts softly sought him out. _"Jon?"_

He answered her. _"I'm here T'Pol."_ He felt her come to him, soothing thoughts mentally stroking him, as a mother would for a child who'd been frightened. Not that he couldn't relate to that. His other half had turned into a monster. He was afraid to face him again, afraid that this time, Sontek would finish him off. He could tell that T'Pol was feeling everything he did.

She soothed, _"No, Jon. Sontek will not hurt you. The Pon'farr is complete."_

_"What is this Pon'farr?"_

_"It is the Vulcan way. Vulcan biology existed long before we embraced logic. During this time, we lose ourselves, especially the men. They must mate, or die."_ Her explanation made no sense to him, but yet he understood she was speaking the truth.

Jon was still trying to understand what had happened and he stated, _"I've never felt this from Sontek before."_

_"I know. It happens every seven years. This was Sontek's first experience. It won't happen again for seven years."_

Suddenly Jon thought of T'Pol's part in this. _"Was this your first Pon'farr?"_

She nodded. _"My first cycle had been triggered unnaturally when we were on Enterprise due to a virus. Phlox was able to stop it and that kept it at bay. This was my first experience since then."_ She could feel the pain that the psi slugs had caused him. _"You need to be treated. I will take you to the Vulcan Compound. There will be a healer there."_

Jon refused. _"I can't go there, T'Pol."_

_"Why not?"_ She truly didn't understand.

_"This is embarrassing. I just don't think I could face anyone."_ Jon felt himself blushing.

_"Jon. This is a natural part of Vulcan life. Even Vulcan's can be hurt during the Pon'farr. I know that Sontek is feeling bad about what transpired. But you have to understand, he couldn't help himself. You challenged him. He had to win me."_

Jon response held pain. _"But T'Pol, he raped you."_

She shook her head. _"You're seeing things from a Human perspective, Jon. To Vulcan's what we shared was right. It was what is supposed to happen."_

He was surprised _"You're not hurt?"_

_"No. I am fine"_ She took his hand, broken and limp. _"You are not. You are injured. Mentally and physically. And Sontek is not. He is saddened greatly. He feels that Surak's words speaks what is in his heart. Tilek svi'khaf-spol t'vathu - tilek svi'sha'veh."_

_"What does that mean?"_

_"It means 'The spear in the other's heart is the spear in your own.' He feels that he had put a spear into your heart and so he feels it as well. He knows you were just trying to help me, but he was unable to help you understand. This came upon him suddenly and by the time he knew what it was, it was too late."_

Jon considered what she was saying. _"This will not happen again for seven years?"_

_"That's right. That is the Vulcan cycle. I promise you, Sontek is as you know him again. He is truly hurt by what he almost did to you."_

Jon nodded. _"I guess what Sir Francis Bacon once said applies here."_

_"What did he say?"_

_"'We read that we ought to forgive our enemies; but we do not read that we ought to forgive our friends.' Sontek is my friend. I guess I need to forgive him. If what you're saying is true, this was right, even if I didn't see it that way. I know that it's sometimes hard not to put Human meanings to alien concepts and this was as alien to me as anything I could conceive of."_

He felt T'Pol go to Sontek and sooth that wound as well. A moment after, he felt a familiar mental presence. _"Jon?"_

_"Yes, Sontek?"_

_"I'm sorry. I should have told you more about Vulcan biology. It is not something easily discussed but it was wrong of me to prevent you from knowing about it."_

_"What's done is done. We can't dwell in the past, we must move forward."_

_"Thank you."_

T'Pol spoke next. _"Now, let's get both of you to the Vulcan Compound. You have injuries, not the least of which is your broken hand."_

Jontek and T'Pol dressed quickly and the three of them headed to the Vulcan Compound; their lives back to where they left them, but at the same time changed forever.


	19. Chapter 19

**Merged**

Chapter 19

The Vulcan Healer finished his work, turning off the bone regenerator. Although the hand would be functional, it would always carry evidence of the extensive damage that had been done. Indeed, it was likely that arthritis would result, significantly causing pain, especially during air pressure changes.

The Healer was more concerned with the mental health of the merged being, Jontek. He had spoken with the woman, T'Pol who had brought Jontek in earlier that evening. Apparently, up until this male had entered his pon'farr, the two beings had been functioning well together. She indicated that right after the situation had resolved, while she had still been in a meld with the two beings, they had seemed to accept what had transpired. The Healer explained that it was likely that the Human male, being in shock, had used her mental calm to get through the moment but that he was far from accepting the events of the past few days. The Vulcan male, just wanted things to return to normal. Once she had left their mind, this Human, Jon had pulled up shields that were protective in nature. He certainly didn't want to let anyone in at this point, especially Vulcans. The Healer had left that part of the being in that state for the time being, not sure how to proceed with the fragile Human psyche.

He also was concerned about the Vulcan, Sontek, whose body and consciousness the two beings shared. He could feel the guilt the man was feeling, a guilt stronger than he'd seen in most Vulcans. Usually, by childhood's end, a Vulcan was able to manage emotional response much better than how Sontek was handling things at this point. T'Pol had also indicated that over the past few months that the beings had been merged, Sontek had embraced Jonathan Archer and had accepted emotional expression to some extent. At this point, he felt the waves of anger coming from his human half and knew his actions had driven a wedge between them. He felt that the past seven months may have been wasted. That perhaps it was impossible for a Vulcan and Human to coexist after all. He wasn't sure that the Human could really forgive him.

The Healer had yet another concern. The woman herself. As he had examined her to ascertain if she had been injured in the pon'farr, he found that she was conflicted as well mentally. That she cared for Sontek made sense. She had told him that when they had meditated a few days before, she had felt the stirrings of her biological clock and had not been overly surprised to find Sontek in the throes of pon'farr, especially after Jon had indicated the fever symptoms he'd been feeling. She had suspected but had been unsure until she had walked into the room, finding the merged man chained to his bed. She had been willing to meet the needs of pon'farr with him. Yet the Healer found she had an even deeper feeling. The woman believed that she experienced a Human love for the human half of the merged being. She had been shocked when the Healer had initially asked her to try and reach the Human behind his shields and she had been unable to do so. He had pushed her away from him. It had caused her great sadness.

The Healer shook his head. Humans did not easily accept the Vulcan imperative to mate. He knew that one reason bonded couples did not usually share a posting on Earth, at least not during their pon'farr years, was related to an instance that had taken place nearly a hundred years before. A couple had entered their pon'farr and were taking care of their needs. Their cries were overheard by a Human who had called the local law enforcement. The two Vulcans had been pulled away from each other, charges of domestic violence being passed on through subspace to Vulcan. By the time the issue had been figured out, both of the Vulcans had died in the throes of their unmet pon'farr needs. After that, the Vulcan's had insisted on a Vulcan Compound and diplomatic immunity. The story had been passed through what Human's often called 'Urban Legends,' usually with the idea that Vulcan men brutalized their women in ways that Humans could never accept.

The Healer was at a loss of what he could do beyond addressing the physical issues that he could apply his medical arts to. He felt that addressing the Vulcan's mental anguish was within his scope but as to the Human's? He hadn't a clue.

XoXoXoXoXoXoXoXoXo

Sontek walked back into Jon's apartment. The disarray was substantial. He started to clean up the mess when the phone rang. He picked it up.

"Jontek? What's wrong? We just got into message range and I saw your message. What can I do?"

"Captain Reed. This is Sontek. Jon is indisposed at the moment. The situation he called you about has passed."

Malcolm sounded suspicious, "What do you mean he's indisposed?"

Sontek sighed. "Things have changed from last week. I have no idea of what the future holds for us anymore."

He noticed that Reed didn't answer for a moment. "I need to speak with Jon."

"That is not possible at the moment. But I will have him contact you at the first moment he can." The Vulcan man stopped for a moment. "I'm deeply concerned myself. I hope the next time we talk it will be under better circumstances. Goodbye." He hung up the phone.

He sat down on the couch, his head in his hands. He felt such pain. It caused a throb at his temples. He felt a drop rolling down his face. He wiped it away and did what he could to pull himself together. "I am a Vulcan! It is illogical to allow my emotions to take over." He added again, his voice stronger, "I am a Vulcan." The tears stopped but the stress he felt did not lessen.

He was somewhat amazed at the strength of the human's shields. It was if his human half had taken all the pains and hurts he'd ever experienced and funneled the energy into building the walls. He knew at the moment, all of the old feelings the man had felt about Vulcans had come full circle. If Jon had disliked Vulcans before, his anger had at least doubled. Sontek couldn't blame him though. He knew how much Jon loved T'Pol. To see her with him, apparently accepting what had transpired with little more than platitudes to address the human's bruised feelings had only fueled the anger. Sontek had to help Jon, to find someway to heal the ugly wound that had developed between them. He simply did not know how.

The phone rang again, and he picked it up. "Hello?"

"Ah, Jontek. I've been trying to call you since receiving your message."

"Is this Dr. Phlox?"

The overly exuberant physician answered, "Yes! I apologize for not getting back to you sooner, but during the sessions, the moderators asked that message devices be turned off. By the time I tried to reach you, I received no answer."

Sontek vaguely recalled the intermittent ringing of the phone during later stages of the pon'farr. Earlier on, he remembered nothing. It was if the previous week had been experienced by someone else. He'd truly been out of his mind. "Yes. It was not possible to answer the phone."

"Is there something I can do for you now, Jontek?"

He knew that this being had been close to Jon. Perhaps Dr. Phlox could be of assistance. "You are speaking to Sontek at the moment, Doctor. I believe if anyone can help Jon right now, you'd be the best candidate. Can you meet with us...with him?"

"Certainly. The conference is over and I have another week on Earth. I would be happy to help out any way I can."

"I believe that the statement, 'the sooner the better' would apply."

"I'll be there within the hour."

XoXoXoXoXoXoXoXoXo

Phlox was concerned. He'd spent the last four days working at regaining Jon's trust. The man was seriously traumatized. On the one hand, Jon had the many years he'd spent with T'Pol developing an unshakeable trust with her. Of putting his life in her hands knowing that she was there for him, no matter what the situation. Jon had believed that to be mutually interactive. He wanted to believe that what she was telling him was the truth, that this was simply a case of Vulcan biology. Something that had been passed along the genetic makeup of Vulcan life through the millennia. The other part of him felt angry, felt deceived, felt betrayed.

Phlox had talked with T'Pol. Jon had refused any of her communiqués, verbal or otherwise. She was upset and confused. She had saved Jon's life the only way she knew how. If she had not addressed Sontek's pon'farr, he would have died and that would have killed Jon as well. She was truly at a loss to understand what she could have done differently.

Complicating matters was the fact that she truly did care for Sontek. Under different circumstances, she knew they would have been a compatible Vulcan couple. She respected his work, his study of Surak, his acceptance of IDIC philosophy. But her feelings for Sontek were not the same as her feelings for Jon. It was the difference between a relationship of convenience and one of love.

In a short week, T'Pol's entire world had come crashing down. This was worse than the Trellium-D addiction. At least then, she simply had to stop taking the poison and then accept the consequences. Now, the fact that she and Sontek had a mutual appreciation for each other was the poison. She ached for Jon, wanted to set things back the way they were, but just like when she'd turned to Trip when she was hurting, this had ended up sending an arrow deep into the heart of the man she loved. She didn't know if this rift could be healed. She feared it might be too deep.

"Phlox?"

Looking over to the man in front of him, he recognized that the human half was present. Since he'd been there, he'd never seen the merged Jontek appear once. It was either the Vulcan or the Human. "Yes, Jon?"

"I want this to end."

"What to end?"

"Existence."

"Jon. You've been through a significant trauma. Actually several of them in the past year. You have to give yourself time to heal."

"I don't want to. I don't want to look at T'Pol and know she'd rather be with him."

"You haven't even spoken to T'Pol. Why would you say that?"

"You weren't there, Phlox. I was. For what I understand was four days, I was there. You don't spend four days with someone unless there's something there."

"You do if you're Vulcan." Phlox decided that perhaps getting away from the personal might help matters. Give Jon something else to focus on. The Jonathan Archer he knew was a man of science and that might be one way to get him to come to grips with the situation. "Vulcan life evolved in a much harsher environment then Earth."

"So, what does that have to do with anything?"

"Think about it, Jon. Vulcan life forms had to claw their way up out of an environment that was not especially conducive to life. The resources available were limited. When Vulcan primates first arose, it was necessary to copulate often to assure the survival of the species."

"Why was it so brutal?"

"Survival of the fittest. Both the male and female would have to fight off other life forms to survive to adulthood and to pass on their genetic material. They would have to protect their young. Having what human's would consider a violent copulation period was nothing more than a survival technique that Vulcan primates developed. It is only brutal if you come from a point of view where there is another way. For Vulcans, this is their reality."

"You'd think that after millions of years that it would change. After all, they embraced logic."

"Have Humans really changed all that much from their own beginnings? The stress reactions that Humans have developed have their origins back in the days where fight or flight was a survival technique. Eat or be eaten. Many of the things that make Humans human are like that. Emotions are just one of those as well."

Jon nodded. "I understand all of this on a cognitive level, Phlox. But this hurts. Really hurts. I..I still love T'Pol. I've been trying to convince myself that I don't but…" He stopped his eyes closed tightly as pain crossed his face. "…Oh God, I do love her. And now I know. She'd be better off with Sontek. Someone that understands 'Vulcan biology.'"

"She does love you, Jon."

Jon shook his head. "No. You weren't there."

Phlox shrugged. "Neither were you. Not really."

Jon looked over to his physician, his counselor, his friend, looking at him as if he'd lost his mind. "Excuse me?"

Phlox explained. "You were there as a human looking on. You weren't there as a Vulcan trying to save each other's life. Actually, trying to save three peoples lives."

Jon's eyes narrowed. "What do you mean?"

"Do you know what would have happened if T'Pol had done what you asked her, had run away?"

A bitter laugh escaped Jon's lips. "Yeah. She wouldn't have had the monster I'm in brutalize her."

Phlox shook his head. "No. You and Sontek would have died. And once T'Pol was in the throes of pon'farr herself, to stop would have killed her as well."

Looking up toward the ceiling, he stated with finality, "I think I'd have rather died then have her put herself through that."

"That was not your decision." Phlox looked at Jon, his gaze unwavering. "You fell in love with a being alien to your world, to your culture. Why do you insist on expecting that the alien be compatible to your ways? T'Pol is not Human. She is Vulcan. She must follow her biology. Sontek is Vulcan, not Human. He must follow Vulcan biology as well. Yet both of these beings have tried to find a way to accept you and your ways. I think there is a bigger issue here."

"What do you mean?"

Phlox stated simply, "You're jealous, Jon."

Annoyance appeared on Jon's face as he declared, "I am not. I'm being realistic."

The Denobulan looked at him again, placing the figurative mirror in front of him again. "Are you?"

"Well, yeah. If I was jealous, I'd…." he trailed off. "Oh, God! You're right."

Phlox reached out to, Jon, throwing him the only life preserver he could. "You love, T'Pol, Jon. If you could have your desire, she should be only with you. But your circumstances rather prevent that. You had found a way to reconcile the differences between your Vulcan and Human halves before. Can't you try once more? It will take time, but what else is there in life?"

Jon sighed. "How would you proceed, Phlox."

"First, I think you and Sontek need to become comfortable with each other again."

The Human part of him rebelled. "How can I after what he did to T'Pol?"

Phlox took a deep breath before continuing. "We're back into circular logic. You're going to have to come to grips that this was just biology. Not Earth biology, Vulcan biology. You have to understand it from a Vulcan point of view. I know that will be hard for you, Jon. But it is the first step to healing."

Jon nodded. "Then what?"

"Once you and Sontek are able to accept the merged being again, you'll be able to deal with T'Pol."

Jon looked down. "I'm not sure I want to do this, Phlox."

Phlox smiled at him. "If there's one thing I know about Jonathan Archer, it's that he doesn't give up. Where there's hope, there's life. At least try."

It would be a struggle, but Phlox was right. Up to last week, things hadn't been too bad. Maybe he could get over this. Maybe there was hope. He could also choose the other way out if it didn't work.


	20. Chapter 20

**Merged**

Chapter 20

T'Pol had returned to Vulcan. While she had wanted to stay on Earth, Phlox had convinced her that until Jontek had dealt with his internal issues, she would be a distraction to his healing. He told her he would let her know when Jontek was ready to deal with the continuation of their relationship. He told her not to worry, that he felt certain that eventually things would be right between them again. She just needed to have patience. When she had first met with Phlox, the day after Sontek had asked Phlox to help out, she had told him her feelings for both Sontek and Jon. He had suspected as much. He knew she was hurting but for the time being, his work was cut out for him with the merged being.

Phlox had cancelled his return to Denobula. He'd moved in with Jontek and was doing his best to help him. He felt Jon deserved the chance to regain his life again, and due to the circumstances defined by the merged reality, it would take more than the week to do it. Besides, this was a medical first. To be able to study the unique situation was more than Phlox could pass up, although he figured it was so unique, he wouldn't be able to write a paper on it without revealing the source. But then again, sometimes knowledge for the sake of knowledge was as important as publishing one's findings.

They were finishing their sixth day of intensive therapy. He had just finished working with Sontek and they were about to try a first session with Jontek. Phlox smiled as he recalled Jon's reluctance years ago to utilize his talents in the psychology field. At that time, Jon had seen psychology as a way to get into his personal space and he didn't want someone spewing psychobabble at him. He could handle things himself. But eventually, their relationship in this realm had grown as Archer had faced ever more challenging events, and by time the Romulan War had broken out a five years before, Phlox was Jon's counselor and sometime confessor.

It hadn't been easy for the man to enter that type of relationship with anyone. He was not one to wallow in the pain of life, rather accepting that things happened and moving on. A private man with private thoughts. However, over time Jon had learned to trust that the Denobulan would help Jon address whatever problems he had in strict confidence and would help lead him to Jon's own decisions and revelations. While Jon would never trust a human psychologist, Phlox was different.

Phlox knew that Jon tended to stuff his emotions deep. He'd seen him do it so many times over the years. Watched whenever darkness descended on this human's soul. Watched as Jonathan Archer would do whatever he had to and damn the cost to his psyche. Phlox had never pushed Jon, respecting his right to live his own life, but at the same time doing his best to provide the mental and physical support the man required. Phlox had warned Jon against stuffing his emotions telling him that it only put them under pressure that would burst under the proverbial last straw. The current situation had left the camels back shattered.

It didn't help that in so many ways, this situation harkened back to a previous one. Phlox had seen Jon fall in love with his first officer and then seen Trip Tucker, Jon's best friend, enter into a relationship with her as Jon held the weight of the Earth on his shoulders, knowing full well that if he failed his species would cease to exist. Phlox hadn't believed that the neuro-pressure treatments would lead to a relationship between the Engineer and the Vulcan but then he hadn't known at the time about T'Pol's Trellium-D addiction. He did know that Jonathan Archer had been unwilling to step between Trip and T'Pol when he'd found out that the two were involved.

This situation brought many of the same issues to the fore. Sontek had in many ways become Jon's best friend, just as Trip had been. The fact that Sontek and T'Pol had a close relationship, that T'Pol was helping each man with an issue, and that this resulted in an exploration of a sexual nature was similar as well. Emotions that Jon had stuffed back then came roaring to the fore. Add to that mix the early anger the man felt towards Vulcans, and a potent jealousy resulted.

The doctor had determined that he needed to work with all three beings involved; Jon, Sontek, and the merged personality, Jontek. He'd spent the last few days working privately with only Sontek or Jon. He'd finally made a breakthrough with Jon two days before. Reaching that point had taken four days when the man's rage had either been tightly concealed or released vehemently. All of the pain and bitterness Jon had pushed down through the years, from multiple sources, was in full play. This experience had become a defining point for Jon. He had reluctantly agreed to follow Phlox's suggested course of healing although he was still angry and unsure of what he truly wanted.

In spending time on the other side, Phlox had found that Sontek felt horrible about what had happened. He was learning what the term 20-20 hindsight meant. He wished he could turn back the clock; wished he had warned Jon what they would eventually face when the blood fever came upon him. He recognized that the human had become closer to Vulcan culture than any other Earthling ever had. Still, Sontek had not said anything about pon'farr and what it would mean. This was still a subject shrouded in secrecy where off-worlder's were concerned. Vulcans seldom spoke about it even with other Vulcans. Sontek had somehow felt that he would be able to deal with the reality as a Vulcan when the time arrived. But his expectations had been based on what he knew as a bonded Vulcan. He had not taken into consideration the changes that would occur as an unbonded male. Now he knew his plan of action had been flawed and he'd caused a great harm to another by his actions. He had been the one to turn to Phlox to help them regain the ground that had been lost, relying on those memories he had shared previously with Jon that indicated the doctor's and Jon's close relationship.

As the two beings shared the consciousness of the merged Jontek, Phlox knew that Jon was not happy to be with Sontek. Jon had understood what Phlox had told him about Vulcan biology on one level but emotionally, he was still angry and hurt. Sontek took his place and Jon his. They were further apart than they had been the day they had both awoken in the Tananite medical facility. While both had been fearful, they'd felt that somehow they were in the situation together. Phlox decided to explore that and try to strengthen that memory of being united when faced with a common goal.

"Tell me about when you awoke together on Tanansis V?"

Neither of the merged personas spoke.

Phlox reiterated the plan, "If healing is to occur, you both must be willing to put the issues on the table and talk about them."

Jon spoke, reluctantly. "I'd crashed the shuttle and killed the crew except for Sontek. When I awoke he greeted me with kindness. We decided to try to work together."

Phlox nodded. "Good. Now Sontek?"

"When the shuttle fell, I thought they would be my last minutes alive. I respected Jon for trying to do what he could to save us and the choices he made not to hit a populated area. When I awoke to find him in my head, I can not say I was pleased but I was willing to see if coexistence was possible."

"Jon, did you respect Sontek as well?

"I had only met him a few days prior but felt he was a scientist that was very good at what he did. I respected his abilities. When I got to know him after the merging, I learned he was a caring man. One that did his best to embrace a new reality."

Phlox was pleased. At least they were talking. "Very good. Has anything truly changed?"

The expression on the merged being clearly indicated a human response, "Everything has changed."

"A generic statement like that doesn't help, Jon. Why don't you elaborate?"

Lips pulled in tight and eyes narrowed, "He didn't tell me about this 'Vulcan biology.' He should have warned me."

Phlox, noting the anger responded. "Would you have accepted it?"

The head shook. "I don't accept it now. I can't."

Phlox stated simply, "We've discussed this before. What Sontek faced was something he couldn't control. Sontek why didn't you tell Jon?"

The countenance changed. Vulcan calm prevailed. "It is not something we discuss."

"This was a bit of a different situation though wasn't it? After all, Jon is a part of you."

"Yes. I see now that my decisions were illogical and detrimental to our coexistence. I can not change the past, however. I am sorry that my actions have caused this harm."

_"Too little, too late, Sontek!"_

_"Jon, what can I do to show you I am truly contrite?"_

The feeling of betrayal was too strong. With a wave of despair, Jon mind cried out, _"Why didn't you tell me?"_

Guilt and sadness mixed with confusion. _"I wasn't sure what was happening. It was the first time to experience this and without my bond mate, I didn't know what to expect. By the time I was sure, it was too late. And…"_

_"And?"_

_"…And I didn't want you to know I desired T'Pol,"_ Sontek admitted. 

Jon jumped on it. _"There it is. You wanted her you son of a bitch!"_

_"Jon, how could I not care for her when you love her?"_ The plea was heartfelt.

Still not wanting to accept the reality of what Sontek had faced, Jon spit back, _"You could have stopped yourself."_

_"That would have been impossible. Pon'farr is not something one can stop"_

Phlox was asking, "Jon, can you accept that Sontek made a mistake?"

"I think this is bigger than just a mistake."

"What do you want Sontek to do?"

A hand went to Jontek's face, covering his eyes. "I don't know, Phlox. This situation is so wrong. I can't stand it that Sontek was with T'Pol. I thought Tri…I mean Sontek was my friend. That he'd do this just isn't right."

Phlox jumped on the mental slip. "Are you still upset because of Commander Tucker's and T'Pol's relationship?"

Jon answered with surprise. "How could I be? Trip's dead."

"Are you sure you're not transferring some of your feelings to this new situation?" Phlox was probing. His instincts were on target, this was likely the critical thread.

"That was nine years ago, Phlox!"

The Denobulan conceded, "Yes and you've been through a great deal in those nine years. You don't tend to deal with emotions healthily, Jon. You push those emotions down instead." He decided to try a slightly different line of questioning. "Would you say that up to last week, Sontek was your friend?

"Yes."

"Just like Commander Tucker."

Jon considered this concept. "I don't know. Probably closer. I never lived in Trip's head."

"And Commander Tucker had a relationship with T'Pol."

"Yes." The answer had an edge to it, as if it were a blade drawn across a sharpening tool.

"Just like Sontek had a relationship with T'Pol."

The edge became sharper, 'No. This was different. Trip didn't hurt her."

"Neither did Sontek."

With a vehemence, the answer shot back, "I saw her fight back."

_"You saw her in pon'farr."_

_"She scratched us and drew blood."_

_"It is part of the blood fever."_

_"More 'Vulcan biology?'"_

_"Yes It was to be expected."_

Phlox was sure he was onto something. "Did you want T'Pol to fight back when she was with Commander Tucker?"

Jon answered, "I wanted to believe she'd see it was a mistake to go to Trip. That she really didn't care for him." He stopped and then added, "And then Lorian and Elizabeth came along."

"What about T'Pol and Commander Tucker's children?" At the word children, Jontek's face tensed.

"I didn't want to face what they meant, to face that Trip and T'Pol could have had a life together." He stopped. "It made me feel jealous."

"When Trip died, how did you feel?"

The answer was swift and hard. "Angry!"

"What's underneath the Anger, Jon?"

Jontek looked down. "I don't know."

"Don't you? If you had to call it something, what would it be?"

"Relief I guess."

"Relief…because?"

"Because they never would have a life together."

"Did the relief make you feel good?"

"No. It made me feel guilty."

"Because…"

"Because I didn't want him to have that life with her. I wanted it! I wanted to knock the crap out of Trip Tucker because she'd turned to him when she was hurting and he let her! He was my best friend! I didn't want to believe they would have children together, I…"

"You were afraid their children would strengthen their bond."

"Yeah. I know, it was selfish. I didn't want them to have children. Children mean commitment. Seeing T'Pol with them, I knew she'd make a great mother but I didn't want her to have them with him."

"And how do you feel about Sontek?"

"They have the same biology. The same culture. The same origins."

"And you feel like an outsider?"

"Yes."

Sontek was surprised. _"How could you be outside? You're a part of me."_

_"But you didn't tell me anything about this. You didn't tell me what you'd do to T'Pol…"_ He stopped a beat and then added, _"…and then you tried to kill me so you could have her yourself!"_

_"That was the blood fever. I was out of my mind."_

_"So you say, but I still was outside, looking in. What I saw sickened me. You don't even love her."_

_"You don't get it, do you?"_

_"Get what?"_

_"Vulcan's don't love like humans. The best that T'Pol and I would have even if you weren't a part of me is a committed relationship. You're the one she wants. I'm just the package you come in._

_"So you're saying T'Pol doesn't care about you."_

_"I didn't say that. I said that you are the one she wants. She can't separate you from me so she cares for me as well. It is only logical to care for both."_

Jon had enough. "Phlox, I think we need to stop for now."

"All right, Jon. Do you agree, Sontek."

"Yes. There is much to consider."

_"I'd like to go behind shields for awhile."_

_"If you think that is best."_ Sontek waited until Jon was gone then asked, "Phlox, would you like to go to Madame Wong's?

"I'd be delighted, Sontek."

While there was still much work and a long road ahead, Phlox felt for the first time since he had started working with Jontek that things would eventually work out, although he'd voiced a similar thought to T'Pol earlier. He looked forward to enjoying Sesame Chicken at Madame Wong's

XoXoXoXoXoXoXo

The next three weeks saw more joint meetings and at the end of them, Jontek was making an appearance more often then not. While Jon was still rather wary of the situation, he had to admit, a lot of his anger and rage had its origins deep in the past. He was at least willing to make a go of it with Sontek again. They planned to return to Vulcan. Phlox had agreed to accompany them back to Vulcan feeling there could be some issues in meeting with T'Pol.

Before leaving, Jon contacted Malcolm again. Malcolm had told him that Phlox had called and said it might be awhile before Jon could talk to him, so he waited for his call. He asked Jon what was wrong but his former commanding officer wasn't willing to say, only indicating that the problem was resolving. Malcolm didn't push. Jon asked him if he knew anymore about the Andorian Epidemic and Malcolm stated that another planet was showing symptoms. Jon told Malcolm he was going to have Phlox look over the data and to see if the doctor could see any possible cause. Malcolm agreed that would be a great idea. As they hung up, Malcolm wished Jontek a safe journey back to Vulcan.

XoXoXoXoXoXoXoXo

Jontek opened the door to his apartment. There was, as expected after such a long time away, multiple communiqués and other concerns. He called Savan to let him know he had returned. When Savan heard that Phlox had come to Vulcan with Jontek, he offered the fellow physician a place to stay. Phlox had agreed. He was interested to see the research that Porthos had been an integral part of. Jon took Phlox over and picked up Porthos who was thrilled to see him. Savan gave him a supply of the cheddar flavored treats that Porthos had obviously been enjoying a bit too much. They would have to take a few walks to remove the evidence.

Arriving back at the apartment, Jontek started to dig into the various packages and letters. He found a rather large package had been delivered. It was in a shallow square box. He sat in the seating area and opened it. What he found inside stunned him. Sontek's nephew had painted a picture of the IDIC and had sent it to him framed. The circle had been painted as the planet Vulcan. He had chosen to paint what was typically the jewel at the top of Mt. Seleya as the Earth. It spoke to the reality of Jontek's life.

Jontek took down an abstract painting that had been in the seating area. He put the IDIC painting up in its place.

Jon admired the picture. _"He's quite talented."_

_"Yes. A sensitive boy. He seems in tune to seeing the other side of things. Embracing the different."_

_"Must run in the family."_

The two had come to a truce. Jon had found that if he took away that one situation, Sontek was still a pretty decent person to be around. He chose not to think about the other issues for now. Besides, Phlox had confirmed that this activity only took place every seven years so he knew there wouldn't be a repeat any time soon. Sontek had retreated somewhat into his Vulcan calm, not about to rock the boat of Jon's tentative acceptance of their reality again. Sontek had talked with Phlox at length, telling him his concerns and receiving what he believed to be good counsel in return. Sometimes, you had to give Jonathan Archer space.

Jon had come to the conclusion that there were probably a lot more issues he should address between he and his host, but had again somewhat returned to his preferred method of dealing with personal issues. Bury them until later. If the results of this situation were any indication, though, it would be best to find a way to relieve the pressure occasionally. He'd consider that later. For now relative peace had been restored and both beings hoped that trust would build from that.

Jontek found in the correspondence another communiqué from T'Nar. He'd promised to meet with her but that was before his return to Vulcan had been postponed by 22 extra days. He sent a communiqué back indicating he was currently on Vulcan and asking when she would like to meet.

S'Bont had not been happy when Dr. Phlox had contacted him about a medical situation that had affected Jontek. He had been assured that it wasn't anything contagious and there was no risk to his continuing to do his duties, but Jontek required medical leave, although, in keeping with Vulcan privacy laws, very little could be disclosed. Over the past few years, some of the groundbreaking work that Phlox had presented to the Vulcan Science Academy indicated to S'Bont that it would be a politically unwise move not to accept the Denobulan doctor's recommendation. Thus, he had not pushed back on the request and Jontek had another week before he was to return to the lab.


	21. Chapter 21

**Merged**

Chapter 21

The communiqué from T'Nar came back quickly. The woman indicated that she'd like to meet with Jontek in the M'Nata Sanctuary just outside the city. This was an area with hanging gardens. It had been built before the Awakening by a warlord who later chose to follow Surak. He had developed a system of water pipes that allowed the water to drip down from the top and allowed none of the precious water to go to waste. Rather, on a desert planet of red sands, this was one place that was green with an abundance of plant life. Due to its configuration, it was also a place where people would meet.

When Jontek arrived, he saw a woman not much older than himself in the area T'Nar had indicated. He walked quickly to her location. Before he could speak she put her hand up, pointing to a plant close by. Jontek looked and found that a microphone had been placed there, almost too small for anyone to notice. He nodded and the two left together. They headed out of the sanctuary and into the small town that had grown up next to it. Turning down an alleyway, they came to a small home, of older construction. T'Nar knocked on the door distinctively and was let in. Jontek followed. He saw no one, not even the person that had opened the door. They went down stone steps and ended in a room that had been carved out of the rock.

The woman's fingers spread in the Vulcan "V" greeting. "It is good for you to come, Jontek. It is agreeable to meet with you."

Jontek returned the gesture. "It is agreeable to meet with you as well. Why is the need for secrecy so great, T'Nar?"

She looked him directly in the eyes, in a way that brought to mind the many times T'Pol had brought information to him in the past. "There are things I have learned of. I have spoken to my cousin who is in your class at the Academy. He tells me you are a man of honor. One who seeks peace and who knows the value of all beings in the Federation as the IDIC teaches. One who would not allow Vulcan to be disgraced. One who can be trusted."

"I try to live by those principles, T'Nar. Who is your cousin.?"

"I cannot say at this time. To do so would put his life at risk." She stopped for a second and then asked, "You work in the S'Bont's Astrophysics lab?"

He nodded. "Yes."

"Then you know of the star cluster in Sector 42?" She asked this as if she already knew the answer.

"Yes. The stars in that cluster are young. Many interesting phenomena to study." He wondered where she was going with these questions.

"I have heard that there may be new discoveries there as well."

Sontek knew that some new materials had been discovered in this field in small quantities. While he had been more involved in the research into the properties of these materials before he had been merged, he did recall that some of them had been found to be bioactive. The bioactive material research had been classified and he had been unable to continue on that research line after Jon had been merged with him. Now his work revolved around classifying the more prominent known materials and determining how they could potentially be mined.

"I have not been a part of that research for sometime."

"But you know if it?" She was establishing the facts, wanting to ascertain if he was indeed the person to bring into this.

"I know that there is classified information that I can not reveal." He wouldn't compromise the information he knew, especially if she was just seeking information herself.

She handed him a vial. "Take this. Do not open it now but have it analyzed. Do not do so on Vulcan. If this is what I believe it to be, it may be evidence of a great crime. A crime that goes against everything the Surak stood for."

He looked at the vial in his hand. It looked like a vial would protect the contents from all outside interaction. "What is it?"

"I cannot tell you more at this time." She looked at him, her eyes telling him that she was gravely concerned. "I hope that my cousin has spoken truly. He has told me that you are both of Vulcan of Earth. I know that the komihn in you has gone to great lengths to save Earth and in the bargain saved Vulcan as well. It is my hope you will now choose to save Vulcan and thereby save Earth again."

He asked her to stop talking in riddles. She indicated that to say more could compromise the lives of too many. She told him to let her leave and then to wait for at least 30 minutes before leaving himself. He nodded and watched the woman walk up the stairs, never turning back to see him.

Jon looked at the vial, which was shielded in a metal casing. It was heavier than it looked. He waited the allotted time and headed up the stairs. He placed the vial inside the pocket of his inner robe. He hoped it could not be detected. He thought about S'Bont and how this would be the type of set up the man would do to discredit him. He wondered if he was walking into a trap. To be found with materials that he should not have would definitely be career ending.

_"I don't know about this, Jon. What if S'Bont is setting us up, trying to discredit us? I don't know if T'Nar can be trusted."_

_"I know it is not logical, but somehow, I believe her. Call it a gut feeling, but I think we should do what she says."_

_"She said we need to get this vial off the planet and test it elsewhere. Should we take it to Earth?"_

_"I don't think so. If it is a trap, that is where they would expect us to go. I think we should speak with Phlox. Perhaps he can help us with this. They wouldn't have expected him to be involved. If this is a great crime that could affect Vulcan and Earth, we need to move quickly."_

Jon entered his rented flitter-car and headed back towards the city. On the way there he contacted Phlox to indicate he would meet him at the medical center. He wanted to discuss his upcoming meeting with T'Pol. He hoped that if his communications were being monitored, no one would suspect the actual topic of discussion. Perhaps Malcolm was right and there was a faction on Vulcan doing something horrid or maybe he had stumbled on another issue altogether. Until the contents of the vial were analyzed he would not have a clue.

XoXoXoXoXoXoXoXo

On the flight to Vulcan, Phlox and Jontek had gone over the data of what was becoming known as the Andorian Epidemic. Phlox had indicted that disease resembled several possible diseases, the causes of which ranged from viruses, to parasites, to poisons. He indicated the need to study the information in more detail. Jon had given him the copy of the information that Malcolm had supplied him. Phlox had promised to keep it quiet that he was working on the issue.

When he had arrived, he had put the information in his luggage and had spent some time with his host learning about T'Ziw's Syndrome and the remarkable progress that Earth dogs were able to effect in the treatment of the condition. Phlox had once studied Porthos and had felt certain there would be a use for the creature beyond simply keeping the Captain of the ship happy. He'd studied the antibacterial properties of the saliva, which were extensive, although there were other compounds in the medical literature that were much more potent. He had seen the general increase in well-being of several species when in proximity to the animal. But he had never considered how this animal could affect those that were functioning on a significantly sub-optimal level. It was fascinating.

When he'd received the call from Jontek, Phlox was in the middle of the tour Savan was giving him of the facility. He asked if there was a space where he could meet with Jontek. Savan indicated that Porthos' office would be as good as any.

When Jontek arrived, Phlox indicated the room. Jontek refused to meet there which surprised Phlox. "I would think that Porthos' office would be ideal."

"It might be bugged."

Phlox's face showed concern. "Are you perhaps a bit paranoid?"

Jontek took a deep breath. "Perhaps. But if I have what I think I might, I don't think so. You're not paranoid if they are really out to get you."

Phlox suggested that they go into the courtyard. Jontek nodded. When they arrived, he asked Phlox what the doctor had found in regards to the data. Phlox stated that he really hadn't done much more with it other than the work he had done on the shuttle. Jontek explained what had transpired earlier that day. Phlox listened closely and looked at the vial when Jontek pulled it from his robes.

"This is a carrying system for bioactive materials. You say it was given to you by someone that works in an Inorganic Bio Laboratory?"

That explained the nature of the vial. He could understand the need to protect the contents. It wouldn't be good for the material to be released unintentionally. If it was what he thought it was, it wasn't good for it to be released intentionally either. He answered simply, "Yes."

Phlox looked down at the vial in his hand. "I take it that you wish to have this material analyzed quickly?"

"Absolutely. The sooner I get the results, the sooner I'll know the next logical action necessary." Jontek's visage was more Jon's at this point. Phlox had seen Jon make decisions over the year. He knew that this had been thought out, Still, he needed to make sure the man knew the potential consequences of that decision.

"Jontek, if I leave now, you will need to meet with T'Pol on your own or choose to wait until I get back. Which would you prefer?"

Jon seemed to weigh the options before voicing his decision with finality. "I think under the circumstances, this analysis will take the higher priority. T'Nar spoke of saving both Vulcan and Earth. This would be a case of the needs of the many." He paused for a moment. "As for T'Pol, I believe the work we've done to reach the common ground within myself will be enough. I know that T'Pol was only doing what she felt was required to save us both. It's not something I want to repeat anytime soon, but I'd rather have her back in my life no matter what."

The Denobulan doctor agreed. He'd seen Jon accept the situation with T'Pol before, after the funeral when Elizabeth was buried. The Human and Vulcan's relationship was based solidly on a friendship that provided the underpinnings for their deeper relationship. Besides, Denobula was only four days journey from Vulcan in a ship which Jontek knew he could hire through the family of T'Plorn's sa-telsu. If absolutely necessary, Phlox could return.

Jontek told Phlox to be ready to go within the hour. Returning to the Medical Center, Phlox offered his quick apologies to Savan, indicating that he had an emergency on Denobula to attend to. Jontek contacted T'Plorn. She agreed to set up a transport for Phlox to Denobula. Jontek indicated that she should let her husband's relatives know that Phlox had been called home regarding a family medical emergency and therefore a quick return to his home planet was imperative. An hour later, Jontek picked Phlox up and took him to the spaceport. Phlox had secreted the vial in the bottom of a cage holding a Quanotian Pplonmorter, a species that he had found in a bazaar area the day before. Rumor had it that these creatures tear ducts produced a salve that would cure eczema type lesions in several species.

He saw the doctor off and hoped he had not just caused problems for himself or his colleagues. He still wasn't sure he hadn't just walked into a trap.

XoXoXoXoXoXoXoXo 

Jontek went back to his apartment. He saw T'Pol's flitter-car parked out front. He had given her a key to his apartment a couple of months before. He wasn't really ready to meet her, but at the speed things were moving, it might be better to get it over with.

Spending the time with Phlox dealing with the issues of their merged persona had prepared him to deal with the issues T'Pol brought to the fore as well. He'd accepted that much of what had been a source of anger had been her relationship years before with a man who had been like a brother to him. He had felt betrayed by both of them. He now recognized that the most recent situation had brought those feelings back again. He had taken them out and examined them closely then folded them away again, packing them out of sight and hopefully out of mind.

He knew the current situation wasn't exactly the same. Trip had acted on his own, gravely hurt by his sister's death and unsure if Enterprise would even succeed in its mission. When T'Pol had come onto him under the influence of the Trellium, Trip had caved. While Jon could understand his weakness on one level, it still had felt like a betrayal of their friendship. Jon had taken on the responsibility for it, figuring that if he hadn't pushed everyone away, that the outcome would have been vastly different.

Sontek, on the other hand, had been forced into proximity with T'Pol, an unbonded female, due to Jon's relationship with her. Sontek knew that Jon loved T'Pol and had tried to stay outside of the close relationship the human and Vulcan shared. However, pon'farr had pushed him to follow the Vulcan imperative to mate and the fact that T'Pol was an unbonded female had, in effect, caused the interaction to be somewhat inevitable. T'Pol's own biology had pushed her to meet the needs of an unbonded male in pon'farr. Phlox had explained that these urges introduced a random factor into mating on Vulcan. It kept the species strong. Sontek had told Jon that while T'Pol did care for him, it was mostly due to the love she felt for Jon. Since she could not separate the two, she must logically care for both.

Jontek opened the door. He found T'Pol seated in the corner of the sitting area, in meditation. He softly called her. He watched as she pulled herself back to herself.  
"It is agreeable to see you T'Pol."

"It is agreeable to see you as well, Jontek." She seemed at a loss. "I thought you might…you would…"

"Its okay, T'Pol. We do need to talk."

She nodded. He asked if she would like tea and she shook her head. Water would be sufficient. He fixed two glasses and walked back to the sitting area. They looked at each other, neither sure who should start. Finally, T'Pol opened up.

"Jon, do you know why I had to do what I did?" Her eyes begged that he would hear her.

"You mean engaging in pon'farr with Sontek?"

She nodded, "Yes"

He took a deep breath. "I think I have a better understanding of it now. Phlox said you felt that you would lose us both if you didn't."

She looked down at her hands. "Yes. I could not take losing you again. I knew this time if he killed you, you would truly be gone." Her face tilted up to look at him. "I couldn't face that again. I've come to realize, I love you, Jon."

He reached his hand over to hers lightly touching it. "I love you, T'Pol. That's why this is so hard." He paused considering his next statement but forged ahead. "It is just difficult to accept this situation as a human."

"Would it help if you could see that other humans have felt something similar?"

A sharp, pointed breath exited him. "Huuh. I don't think anyone from any species has ever experienced a merging like this."

She clarified, "No. Not this exact situation. But I found a poem that had been sung about two hundred years ago from your planet that might speak to the concept."

This surprised him. "A poem from Earth? That fits this situation?"

She nodded, pulling a paper out of her pocket. "Yes. Apparently it was from a song that a popular singing group performed. The singer was Grace Slick. The song was called Triad. I wrote down the first two verses as the last did not seem to have any relevance to our own situation. I'm not sure all of the second verse does either, but since there are some concepts there as well, I wrote it down too." She handed the paper to him.

He read the words. They hit him like a mallet. He couldn't believe that these words had been written on Earth two hundred years before the situation he found himself in.

You want to know how it will be  
Me and him or you and me  
You both stand there  
Your long hair flowing  
Eyes alive your mind   
Still growing  
Saying to me  
What can we do now that  
We both love you  
I love you too  
I don't really see  
Why can't we go on as three

You are afraid  
Embarrassed too  
No one has ever said  
Such a thing to you  
Your mother's ghost   
Stands at your shoulder  
Face like ice a little bit colder   
Saying to you  
You cannot do that  
It breaks all the rules   
You learned in school  
I don't really see  
Why can't we go on as three

He was silent a long time, taking in the words on the paper before him, written in T'Pol's script. They resonated deeply. "Is this what you want, T'Pol?"

"I don't see any other way, Jontek. I can not say I do not care for both of you since I cannot separate you. I love you, Jon. I care for you, Sontek. How else can we be?"

He nodded. It was logical. It was difficult and strange, but it was logical. He didn't like it, but it was logical. And he loved her. And because of that alone, it didn't matter if it was logical or not. He loved her. Wasn't that worth trying something like this? "All right, T'Pol. We'll try. I can't say if it will succeed but I'm willing to try. I want to keep us."

She reached out two fingers to him. The human part of him was confused.

_"This is a Vulcan sign of affection. It is similar to a kiss on Earth. What do you want to do, Jon?"_

_"How do I answer it?"_ He felt his own two fingers mirror hers and they touched. He felt the telepathy between them. Felt T'Pol's tentative movement towards him, afraid that he would push her away. Afraid that this would be too difficult for him to accept. He had agreed to try.

He let her feelings wash over him and suddenly, it didn't matter that there was more than just Jon and T'Pol. Sontek was a part of them, not by intentional choice but by the universal curve ball that had been thrown at them on Tanansis V. Had the events on that planet never happened, Jon wouldn't even have this with T'Pol. His heart reached out to embrace her and Sontek at the same time. They were three.

XoXoXoXoXoXoXo

It was a week before Phlox contacted him on a secure, coded channel. During that time, Jontek and T'Pol had spent time in meditation. Jon was still unwilling to be much closer to T'Pol than the new Vulcan touching he had learned. This new dynamic was still strange. He would have to move slowly but he could feel that both T'Pol and Sontek would follow his lead, only accepting what he would accept.

He saw what Sontek had spoken about now. T'Pol was comfortable with Sontek but she did not love him, at least he felt a distinct difference in how she touched his mind and how she touched Sontek's. With the Vulcan, it was similar to the close relationship he had seen occur in human marriages of many years; a comfortable interaction, full of trust and caring, but without extreme passion. With his own mind, however, there was a yearning, a passion, a desire that was strong and potent. He knew she loved him.

Sontek had returned to the lab and Jon to teaching. When he received the communiqué from Phlox, he was shocked. The analysis of the material had shown it to be a constructed molecule, incorporating new elements from what Sontek recognized as coming from the star cluster. Phlox had confirmed that it would act as a poison, similar to that which would be seen with mercury poisoning on Earth, on the Andorian population. This molecule had been created with the soul purpose to decimate their species. It was almost impossible to trace. If not for Phlox's keen research skills, it was likely to take much longer for the truth to reveal itself.

He thought back to what Travis had said. This disease had developed at Rowtorn eight months before. That would have been a little less than 22 months after the elements had been discovered in the star cluster, and had started being collected. By the time the disease had first presented, quite a bit of the material had been accumulated. He contacted T'Nar, asking her to meet him at the basement room again after his shift finished at the laboratory. He asked T'Pol to take his class that afternoon, promising to let her know what was going on later that night.

They meet a few hours later. She was obviously frightened, an emotion that Jontek seldom saw in Vulcans, so this situation had to be bothering her greatly. He spoke softly but firmly. "I've had the material analyzed. This is a bioterrorism weapon meant to cause Andorian genocide. What do you know about this?"

"Only that the records showing how much of the collected material that is in storage does not match what is actually there. I wasn't sure exactly what was in the vial, but I knew that the Andorian Epidemic has been occurring in synch with the removal of the material. I saw the pattern a little more than a month ago. That was when I contacted you."

"I remember." He stopped for a moment, obviously thinking through what needed to be done. He could take this to the Trinary Governing Council, to T'Pau, but it would take time to investigate and by that time, the Andorians might be completely eradicated through this genocidal act of bioterrorism. He could take this to the Andorians, but they likely would not see that it was only a faction of the Vulcans doing this, rather choosing to believe that their ancient enemies had decided to attack them, and likely launching a retaliatory attack in return, at all Vulcans. He turned to T'Nar. "Can you find out if they developed a cure for this? Can you look in the records?"

She nodded. "I think so. I'll contact you as soon as I know."

Although he had a pretty good idea of at least one of the culprits, he asked, "Do you know who is behind this?"

"I only know that Director S'Bont is involved. I don't know who else, although I know that even he could not be acting alone."

Once their plan had been put into place, they left in a similar fashion as the last time. Jontek continued to think through what had occurred. He thought for a moment that perhaps he should bring Malcolm in but decided against it for now. He'd seen how Section 31 had handled the Klingon Augment's virus years before and didn't want them involved until he knew more about the situation. He'd simply have to play it by ear.


	22. Chapter 22

**Merged**

Chapter 22

Sontek was sickened when he heard the news of T'Nar's death the next afternoon through the Academy grapevine. The Academy scuttlebutt was that she had been involved in a fiery crash an hour before and had died before reaching the Medical Center. It caused him to wonder if he was responsible for her death since Jon had asked her to continue to search for the evidence they needed. He would let Jon know about this development after they left the lab. He figured that Jon would be equally as upset.

Jontek had no doubt that he likely played a role in the death of the Vulcan woman later that day when he returned home after picking up Porthos at Savan's lab to find his apartment in a shambles. As he examined the extent of the damage, he set the small dog down.

_"What happened here?"_

_"Someone was trying to find something, Sontek."_

_"What?"_

_"I'm not sure, but I think it might have something to do with T'Nar."_

He heard Porthos whining and went to see what had the dog upset. He noticed that the dog was trying to get comfortable on his dog bed but something seemed to be in the way. Moving the blanket away he found a distinct lump in the middle of the cushion. He reached into it and pulled out a package. Opening it, he found a data disk with a handwritten note attached. He saw that the note had been written by T'Nar and it warned him not to open this on his computer. They were monitoring his communications. It warned him to be careful. The message also indicated that he likely had little time before those who had plotted and carried out the genocidal actions would be after him as well.

He headed over to T'Pol's office, by way of Savan's. He was going to have to find a way off the planet and quick. He left Porthos with Savan, telling him it may be a couple of days before he could pick Porthos back up. Savan indicated he should take whatever time he needed. His next stop was to see T'Pol and let her know he was leaving.

When he arrived, she was in the midst of a discussion with a student. He recognized the man as one who was in his class, Suren. T'Pol was telling him his family had contacted her to pull Suren out of class since his cousin had died and the family was gathering. The young man nodded. As he turned around, he came face to face with Jontek. He noted that for a Vulcan, the look on Suren's face revealed absolute devastation at the news of his cousin's death. Jontek knew T'Nar had spoken to this cousin about what had been happening. Suren looked to Jontek, almost begging him to make her death have some meaning. He nodded at the man and resolved to make sure her death was not in vain.

Alone with T'Pol after he had left, he greeted her. "It is agreeable to see you, T'Pol."

She returned his greeting although was curious that he was signaling her to stay quiet. He waved his arm to follow him, stating "Let's go have a bite at Sar'nan's." It was a little restaurant not far off of the campus where a number of the instructors would meet. Jon had always preferred the restaurant she had taken them to the first night so she was a bit surprised. She was going to say so when she noticed Jontek gesturing her not to say anymore.

"Sar'nan's is an agreeable choice." When they left the building, she was surprised when Jontek took off in a completely different direction then his restaurant choice would indicate. "What's going on?"

"Uh. I wanted to tell you I'm leaving. I don't know when I'll be back." _'Or even if I'll be back."_

_"What is that supposed to mean?"_ He was surprised to find T'Pol's thoughts in his head.

_"T'Pol?"_ How could she be there. He knew they hadn't melded.

_"Yes"_

_"How are you here?" _

Sontek answered. _"I believe a bond is forming between us. It is still weak. It may be related to the pon'farr."_

T'Pol still wanted a clarification. _"What do you mean, if you'll be back?"_

_"T'Pol, things have gone from bad to worse. Not only is S'Bont a general jackass, he's also involved in a genocidal plot against the Andorians"_

She was shocked. _"Do you have proof of that?"_

_"I might. I have to get off the planet to be sure. I think they want to kill me. It's going to be hard to find a ship. I don't want to get anyone else involved."_ He wasn't sure what his next step should be.

_"Let me help."_

_"No. I don't want you to be hurt."_

T'Pol's plea became urgent. _"Jon, I told you before we entered the Expanse that you need me. You now know the reciprocal is true. I'm not letting you leave me again. Don't push me away. I can help you."_

_"How?"_

_"I can still get into the Vulcan Defense System. I can get us a ship."_

Both Sontek and Jon asked at the same time, _"Us?"_

She was adamant. _"I'm going with you."_

_"I told you, I don't want you to be hurt."_

She stated plainly, _"If something happens to you, I'd rather die with you then live without you. I'm coming and that's final."_

He reached over and hugged her. She did not pull away. _"If they are truly out to kill you, we do not have time for this."_ Thinking back to the many times he'd been beaten, captured, or threatened with death while Captain of the Enterprise, she added, _"I know from experience." _

He pulled away, and smiled. He simply held her shoulders and looked into her eyes. _"I love you, T'Pol!" _He paused just a moment and then added, _"But you're right. Let's get going."_ The two headed off to the spacedock, bound and determined to get a ship to leave the planet.

XoXoXoXoXoXoXoXo

Stealing the ship had been easier then it should have been. Jontek had been amazed at the ease T'Pol entered the codes, granting them access to places they shouldn't be. He suddenly realized how easy it would have been for T'Pol to have sabotaged Enterprise at any point in their ten year mission. The woman's training in the Vulcan Ministry of Intelligence had taught her techniques that reminded him more of Malcolm than anyone else. It was a good thing she was on his side.

They were underway to Denobula. Jontek popped the data disk into the computer and read what was on the screen. T'Nar had downloaded everything she could find on the plot. She had even found that a neutralizing agent had been developed that would remove all trace of the molecule. He showed the data to T'Pol.

_"This is it, T'Pol! We can stop the epidemic, if we can get this to the Andorians"_

_"We can't tell them yet. They would blame Vulcan."_

_"We can show them it was just a small group that was doing his."_

_"They'll never believe that. They are illogical."_

_"I might be able to convince them."_

_"Perhaps if you were still human. You are now Vulcan."_

_"It's still possible, T'Pol. In the meantime, can you send this formula to Phlox on a secure channel?"_

_"Yes."_

She sent Phlox the formula for the neutralizing agent. If he could make enough of the compound, they could start distributing it to the Andorian worlds that had been affected, stopping the epidemic. Justice against the perpetrators would have to wait until that was finished. To do otherwise would mean that more Andorians would die. Their primary focus had to be ending the genocide.

The ship they had taken was a smaller deep space scout ship. It was not large, but it was fast. It normally held a crew of six, but it was manageable to handle with just the two of them. The biggest advantage was its speed. The ship could do warp seven easily. It had few weapons and its shielding was minimal. They figured at the speed they were traveling, they would cut the four day Denobula run down by two thirds, meaning they would arrive in about 28 Earth hours. Phlox promised a supply of the agent would be completed by the time they arrived.

Arriving on Denobula, they loaded the cargo onto the ship. Phlox had programmed a synthesizer to continuously make the agent and that was installed on the ship as well, preventing their departure by a few hours. By the time they reached Andorian space, which was within 20 hours of Phlox's homeworld they would have created a significant amount of neutralizing agent.

In the meantime, Jontek entrusted the data disk to Phlox's care. He wrote a letter to Malcolm explaining what had happened up to this point in his investigation. He cautioned him to still be leery of Section 31. Their agenda did not always line up with the best interests of the Federation. Still he wanted to have Malcolm start looking into the data that T'Nar had bought with her life. He had seen a password protected file on the disk that he figured might name names. That would be critical in bringing justice to all who had been harmed by this evil plot.

Phlox wished Jontek and T'Pol the best of luck as they headed to two different directions. Jontek was suddenly reminded of the Expanse and heading out into the unknown to prevent the death of his people. His destination was now known, and the people he would be saving were not of his blood, either type, but he saw the same imperative. He could not fail.

XoXoXoXoXoXoXoXo

Within minutes of entering Andorian space, they found they were being tracked. The Andorian's had always kept a close eye on their borders, especially after the end run that the Vulcan High Command had tried to pull on them eight years before. Jontek had been counting on it. He wasn't surprised to find the Andorian hailing him to be none other than his old buddy, Shran. Somehow, they seemed to cross paths more than could be explained by random chance.

Sontek was confused by the terminology that Jon was thinking. _"Old buddy?"_

_"Well, perhaps 'old buddy' isn't exactly accurate. More like an old friend that when you've been captured will sit next to you in the cell and say, 'Man! That was fun!!'"_

T'Pol dryly commented, _"I hardly consider the man to be that close a friend. He keeps score."_

Jon answered, _"Oh, come on, T'Pol. You know he pulled our butt out of the fire enough times."_

Jon felt T'Pol's sadness. _"And it was repaid at a high cost."_

Trip. No one was more willing to see Shran's daughter saved. Trip had lost a sister and a daughter in little less than a year. He knew the pain that loss would cause. Yet, because of that rescue, he'd been forced to make the decision that ended his life. Jon was certain that Trip had not done this intentionally, planning to die. He was certain that Trip was just following a logical course of action, using what was at hand to stop the bad guys. But the fact that the plasma conduits were full had made that choice of defense unwise. Jon was certain that Trip didn't realize that the conduits were full. Instead of creating the concussion blast that would have knocked the invaders out, he had caused a plasma fire instead.

Jon remembered coming to in the corridor, the sight of scorch walls, the smell of burning flesh, and the sound of moaning. He'd followed that sound and found his best friend dying. He picked up Trip, running with him to sickbay, hoping against hope that Phlox would save his life, but knowing full well what a plasma fire would do to a human body. Trip wasn't the first man he'd seen die this way. During the early days of his Starfleet career, a conduit had ruptured, killing six crewmen on the Montundra, the ship he was serving on as a very new Lieutenant Archer. It had been his first look at violent death, and it was one that he'd hoped he'd never experience again. He certainly never wanted to see Trip die that way.

He'd carried some anger against Trip since the Expanse; that was true enough. And it was obvious from his most recent self-introspection that he'd harbored a jealousy against him. But he also knew he loved Trip like a brother. A piece of him had died that day as well.

_"Yes, that was a high cost. Still, it will be good to see Shran again."_

The Andorian ship hailed them. "Vulcan ship. Identify yourself."

"Shran. It is good to see you again."

The Andorian looked confused, his antennae back. "Do I know you, Vulcan?"

"Hmmm…Well, you know part of me."

A Vulcan who talked in riddles. That was a first. "What is your name, Vulcan?"

"Jontek."

"Strange name for a Vulcan." Shran wasn't sure, but something was definitely different about this Vulcan.

"It works for me."

Shran shook his head at the sound of this Vulcan's choice of wording, his antennae continuing to betray his total confusion. He then noticed the Vulcan woman behind the Vulcan, Jontek. "T'Pol! Does the Pink Skin know you are out here?"

"Jon is very aware that I am here, Shran."

Shran knew that human's used personal names for more intimate uses. Hearing her use Jonathan Archer's made him wonder if they had had a relationship. Maybe it hadn't worked out and that's why she was sitting in Andorian space in a Vulcan scout ship with another Vulcan. He was about to comment again when Jontek spoke.

"Shran, can you come over to our ship? We have something to show you that I think you'll be interested in."

The Andorian agreed. He wanted to get to the bottom of this mystery.

Jontek knew that the first order of business would be to inform Shran of the cause of the epidemic and the fact that they had a way to stop it. He was sure that Shran would be able to mobilize the distribution of the neutralizing agent quickly. He was also interested how the Andorian would accept the reality of his existence.

_If nothing else, he won't call me Pink Skin anymore._

The Andorian shuttle docked a few minutes later. As he walked into the small Vulcan scout ship, he looked over to T'Pol. "I heard that you went back to Vulcan after the Enterprise was decommissioned. Someone told me you became a teacher."

"I am the Director of the Department of Federation Studies at the Vulcan Science Academy."

"You should have stayed on Earth with the Pink Skin. I always thought he had a thing for you. I thought you liked him as well. How's he doing anyways? Last I heard he was an Admiral in Starfleet."

Jontek spoke. "When was the last you heard of Admiral Archer, Shran?"

"It was before this epidemic took hold of our worlds. We've been quite busy trying to figure out a way to end it. Not a lot of time to look up old friends. So many have died."

T'Pol indicated her sadness at the epidemics toll. "We can't bring those who have died back but we can help you prevent any more deaths."

"How?"

Jontek answered. "We've learned the cause of the epidemic and we have the compound that will stop it."

The blue antennae stood attention straight which mirrored the surprised look on Shran's face. "The cause? Andorian scientists have been working for the past nine months to find the cause. We just turned to the Federation a month ago. How could the Vulcans have developed something so quickly?"

Jontek responded. "I'll get to that later. The main thing is that this epidemic can be stopped."

The Andorian's eyes closed almost to slits, antennae forward, bent almost to the skull. "Something does not seem right here. Who are you?"

"That antenna still hurt you when it rains?" Jonathan pointed to his left antennae.

"What?"

"The one I had to cut off of when you wanted to kill the Tellarite."

"She told you about that." Shran indicated T'Pol with a nod of his head and point of his antennae.

Jontek smiled. It was disconcerting to see a Vulcan do so. "She didn't have to. I was there. I'm the one you fought."

The Andorian dismissed the comment, derision dripping in his voice. "You're a Vulcan. The Pink Skin, Archer, is a human!"

"Surprise. You'll never know where I'll turn up, Shran."

A quick laugh burst forth from Shran, his antennae wiggling at the absurdity of the comment. "You expect me believe you had yourself surgically altered to look like a Vulcan. You must think I'm a smolgnatior to believe that!

With the sure look of Vulcan calm, Jontek explained. "Not exactly. We had an accident about eight months ago, Shran. The shuttle I was piloting on Tanansis V crashed. Sontek, the Vulcan male you see and I were the only ones that had any chance of survival. The Tananites merged us."

"Merged?"

"Yeah. That's why we use the name Jontek. It combines both of our names. Sort of like both of our minds are combined in the same body."

Shran looked at the Vulcan again, seeing something there; see in the quirks he'd always associated with Jonathan Archer in his face. "You're both Vulcan and Human? Pink Skin?"

_Okay. So I was wrong._

"I'm here but so is Sontek."

The Andorian gave Jontek a sideways glance, his eyes squinted. "I'd never believe you'd choose to do this."

"We didn't have a choice. We just woke up this way."

"I don't believe I would handle waking up in a Vulcan's body well. No offense."

"None taken." Jontek stopped the discussion. "But Shran, we've got bigger issues to deal with than a reunion. This compound really needs to be delivered and quickly. Do you think you could get some more Andorian ships so we can stop it?"

Suddenly turning more serious, his antennae following suit, the Andorian nodded. "What is the cause and how can it be stopped."

Jon knew this would be dangerous ground to cross. "First, do you remember back on earth, when the first interspecies coalition was being formed? The group on Earth, Terra Prime?"

_"What are you doing, Jon? Just explain the problem."_

_"That won't work with Shran, Sontek."_

_"Why not?"_

_"Trust me. I know what I'm doing here."_

"Those brocnar! Yes. I remember that this group wanted to have nothing to do with alien specie."

"But you remember that all humans did not feel this way."

"Yes. Most humans saw what this group did as wrong."

"Then you understand that not all of a people have the same motivations or act on the same principles."

The Andorian's antennae took on a defensive posture, flaring forward. "Of course I understand that. What do you think I am? A vralnt?"

_"You just insulted him."_

_"No, I just need to set things up first. Otherwise Shran's reaction will be off the scale. I had to fight him once; I don't want to have to do it again._

"I know you're not, Shran. But what I'm going to tell you could stir embers of a fire that are best allowed to die. I just want to prepare you."

"Just tell me Pink Skin!"

"There is a faction on Vulcan that wishes to bring back the past, which wishes to destroy the Andorians."

"The Vulcan's are doing this!" Shran was outraged.

T'Pol raised an eyebrow. "You haven't been listening. There is a group on Vulcan that is doing this. We found they had used a material found in some stars that when modified becomes quite toxic to Andorians. They put it in your water supply and planted it such that it looked like an epidemic that was spreading naturally."

His eyes turned to slits as he looked at T'Pol. "I always said you Vulcans were too sneaky."

Jontek sighed. "Shran. T'Pol and I are trying to help you. Remember. It's not all Vulcans. Just a few."

Shran turned back to him, "Are you sure?"

He nodded. "I'm very sure, Shran. A few Vulcan's that are evil are behind this. Most Vulcans would be appalled if they knew about this. That's why we're trying to stop this."

Suddenly a idea crossed Shran's face. "If you know about these brocnar, why hasn't something been done? Or is the current Vulcan Government trying to sweep this under the rug."

With great patience, Jontek reiterated. "Shran, I just told you. We've just learned about this. We decided that ending the epidemic took precedence over seeking justice against these Vulcans. But they will be brought to justice. They will be punished. That will happen. But first, let's save your people. We don't want anymore to die."

Shran couldn't argue that ending the epidemic had to be handled first. "I will call for ships and doctors. But this discussion isn't over, remember that Pink Skin."

"I know, Shran. But until we get things settled out, you must keep what I've told you secret. Otherwise, there might be a few Andorians that think getting revenge is more important then peace. There might even be a few that would end up hurting innocent victims. There has certainly been enough of that already."

Shran nodded. "You have my word, Pink Skin. We'll address the epidemic first and then deal with the brocnar." The Andorian got up and walked to his waiting shuttle. He would bring the ships here and get the neutralizing agent distributed. Then he would talk to the Pink Skin again. He'd never led him down the wrong ice slide before.


	23. Chapter 23

**Merged**

Chapter 23

True to his word, Shran pulled several Andorian ships into the area and the neutralizing agent was distributed to them. They continued to produce the compound to provide enough to treat all of the worlds that had been affected. While they waited for the next batch to complete, Shran had returned to continue to get to know Jontek.

He could certainly read Jonathan Archer's personality in the merged being but was still unsure of the Vulcan half. Like most Vulcans, this Sontek was quiet. Too quiet for Shran's tastes but then again, he never really had liked Vulcans, although he had learned to respect them. Especially after his experiences with Soval and T'Pol. He'd found both of these individuals to have integrity and, although it was a given that neither would have an Andorian as their 'best friend'…did Vulcan's even have best friends?... he'd found they certainly had been willing to put their careers and reputations on the line to see that justice was received for Andoria.

He couldn't understand how his human friend could coexist with a Vulcan. The very concept was abhorrent to him. To wake up in the body of a being that did not live life to its fullest, that put logic before experience? It was not an existence that Shran would prefer to contemplate. He always knew, though, that Archer straddled both concepts and he'd certainly found the man to embrace his emotions. He shook his head. The man was still full of surprises. It was one of the things he liked most about him.

He'd brought a bottle of Andorian Ale over to the Vulcan shuttle. Archer had always appreciated the potent beverage in the past. He hoped to lift a few glasses in toast to ending this damned epidemic among other things. Shran had lost family members through this painful disease. Indeed, he knew of no one that had not, except for the Aenar. Since they were only on the homeworld, the disease had not reached them. Knowing how his wife would have felt if any of her family had died, he was thankful that his two friends had chosen to help his people, at what was certainly risk to their own lives.

T'Pol had begged off, indicating that they two of them surely had enough to talk about without her. She would watch the ship.

T'Pol dryly added internally, _"Besides, doing a system wide diagnostic is preferable to watching the two of you discuss old times."_

Sontek looked to T'Pol adding, _"I wish I could join you."_

Jon laughed. _"Shran's not that bad. Sure, he's emotional and mercurial most of the time, but he's really a great guy!"_

Shran's antennae were relaxed and moving gently. "Archer! Let us drink to good friends!"

Knowing that the Andorian would likely ignore Sontek, he stated, "Shran, I am more than Archer now. Sontek is with me as well. I would appreciate being called Jontek."

The Andorian considered that. "Hmmm. I guess I do owe you one. Jontek it is."

Sontek observed, _"He does keep score."_

Jon explained, _"Well, yeah. Sort of, but it's just his way. He doesn't mean anything by it."_

_"Do you make friends this easily with other species?"_

_"I guess, but I also seem to attract more than my share of enemies."_

"Thank you, Shran."

"Now, let's get to this Andorian Ale." The antennae indicated that this concept was of great importance.

_"Vulcans usually don't drink alcoholic beverages,"_ Sontek stated cautiously.

_"I know, but this is his tradition. We need to honor it."_ Jon decided throwing caution to the wind.

Sontek acquiesced. _"I warn you, I don't know how it will affect me."_

Shran poured out two glasses and pushed one to Jontek. He took it and raised the glass to Shran before taking a small sip.

Shran stared at him. "You used to drink our ale with more gusto."

Jontek stated plainly, "I used to be Human."

"You have a point. Still, Andorian Ale should be consumed, not tasted."

Sontek gave it one last try. _"You're sure you want me to do this?"_

_"Yeah. Shran is my friend. I want to share some time with him."_

Jontek took an actual drink this time. He noted how the ale burned the back of his throat.

Shran approved, his antennae wiggling happily. "That's more like it! Here's to getting reacquainted."

"So, Shran. How is your family?"

"They are well, Pink Skin. My daughter is already in the Children's Guards, although my wife insisted that she go into the medical side. She figures that way our daughter will always be saving life instead of taking it." Shran called out a toast to the Guard.

"She is a wise woman." Jontek took another drink of the ale. Shran topped off his glass.

"So, tell me, Pink Skin. Is some thing going on between you and T'Pol?"

Jontek was started to have some trouble seeing. "What…what do you mean?"

"You know what I mean. Should be pretty easy now. Now that you're Vulcan." He raised a toast to the fact that Jontek and T'Pol were both Vulcan.

Jontek took another draw of the potent brew. His head tilted as he realized he could now see two of Shran rather than one.

Shran was hailed from his ship. A view appeared of a rather stately Andorian. "Tenyes! What do you need?"

"There are two more ships approaching. I was wondering when there will be enough compound for them to load." Shran looked over to Jontek, who seemed to be having some difficulty focusing. "How long, Pink Skin?"

"I don' know. Maybe 'bout an hour." The alcohol seemed to cause the merged being to separate. Jon found that he was not able to able to speak when Sontek was engaged, and for the moment, Sontek was in charge of what was said.

"Let them know, Tenyes. Shran out." He turned to Jontek. She's quite a chan isn't she?"

"Chan?"

"Yes, an androgynous male who turns easily into a female."

"Like a Drag Queen?"

Jon with a low warning growl, thought, _"Don't go there, Sontek!"_

"What is a Drag Queen?"

Sontek was confused and the ale wasn't helping him. _"Go where?"_

Sontek's words were coming out slower and with a pronounced slur. "Thas what Jon called the Earth male dat dressed up like an Earth woman who he kissssed."

_"What the hell did you tell him that for?"_

"Archer likes chan? I never knew!"

_"Great, now Shran knows about this too! Anyone else you want to tell?"_

_"Huh?"_

_"Sontek, you're drunk,"_ the words held disgust.

_"This is what drunk is?"_

_"Yes."_

_"I don't like it."_ Jontek stumbled up and ran to the bathroom. He lost all of the contents of his stomach. Before Jon could say anything more to Sontek, Jontek passed out.

XoXoXoXoXoXoXo

Sontek awoke to find himself in their sleeping quarters. The head ache thing was back. He tried to stand up but the room started spinning. Continuing to lay back down, he realized that Jon was behind shields. _"Jon?"_ At first there was no answer, but then he felt the shields lower.

Finally an annoyed, _"What?"_

Sontek's senses were still somewhat hazy, _"What happened?"_

Jon was surprised. _"You don't remember?"_

_"All I know is we have that head ache thing back again. Can we call T'Pol to bring us a hypospray? I can't stand up."_

Jon started to answer but then changed gears, _"Uh, sure…I can't believe you told Shran that! Shran, of all people!"_

Sontek tried to remember, but his memory of the previous night was blank. _"What did I tell Shran?"_

_"About the mistaken identity. I told you to forget that."_

_"Oh, you mean the Drag Queen."_

_"Yeah. And the first chance you get, you tell Shran."_

_"Well, it was your idea to drink the Andorian Ale. I told you I didn't know how it would affect me."_

Archer knew from conversations with Shran that Andorians had a rather extensive sexual palette to work off of. Instead of just two sexes, there were Blendings that could actually change from one to the other either through nature or by choice. It was a confusing species and Jon usually just put that to the back of his mind as knowledge that was best left shelved.

Jon didn't have any problems with adults making their own choices as to how to live their lives. He certainly didn't hold any animosity towards the Drag Queen. It just wasn't his choice. As soon as he'd realized that things were not as they appeared, he'd grabbed Trip and they'd gotten the hell out of Dodge. Trip had thought the whole thing was hysterically funny and he'd let A.G. and Becca in on it. Jon had seen the episode as potentially damaging to his career and had threatened the three of them with bodily harm if they didn't keep their mouths shut. When they realized he was serious, they complied.

Now the potential for the story to take on a life of its own had been reached. He didn't know how to approach this with Shran. Do nothing, and God only knew what Shran would do with his newly acquired knowledge. Say something and Shran was likely to either use it to embarrass him or say nothing and see it as another point on his score card.

Still, he had only himself to blame. He'd asked Becca to pull something out of their past that only he would know to prove to her who he was. Could he blame her for choosing the incident that she knew no one else would know and that he'd never tell? And Sontek was right; he'd been the one to push Sontek into drinking the Andorian Ale. What was he thinking? He hadn't drunk nary a drink in the eight months he'd lived in Sontek's body, much less Andorian Ale. The truth of the statement "loose lips sink ships" came to mind.

Jon sighed. _"I know, Sontek. It's just this is something that I never wanted to see the light of day, and now, well, with Shran knowing about it, it will probably be on a rolling marquis for everyone to see."_

Sontek apologized. _"I'm sorry."_

_"Its okay, Sontek. You weren't yourself. Let's see if you can stand up now."_

They gave it a try and while things were still not quite back to normal, they were able to make their way to the medical cabinet and obtain a Vulcan analgesic. Relief was delivered almost immediately. Jontek left his room to see if there was anything he could do to help T'Pol.

He found her at the engineering/navigation console, entering code. He found the bond was not present. _"What are you doing?"_

_"We have delivered enough of the compound necessary to address the Andorian worlds affected. I have indicated that we will address the first planet, Rowtorn. There are no Andorian survivors on that planet. I felt we should address the situation there."_

Rowtorn had only been settled a few years before this sinister plot had been launched so there were few populated areas. However, since it had been the earliest hit, the population there had been eradicated. Of 2000 plus Andorians, not a single one was still alive. Everyone had had to drink the water, everyone had been poisoned.

The Andorian ship hailed them again. Shran's face appeared in the viewscreen. "Let us meet back here after we deliver the compounds. There is still much to discuss."

"Uh, Shran, about last night…"

"No more will be said about it. T'Pol has explained your situation."

Jon was confused. _"How did T'Pol know? Did you tell her too? How in the heck did she….?"_

_"I'm sure T'Pol learned it though our bond."_

"Thanks, Shran."

"Although, I do want to hear the story in more detail. But that is for another time and another bottle of Ale."

Jontek was non-committal on either concept.

The two ships headed off to do what they could to alleviate any more Andorian suffering. Jontek wasn't looking forward to the next reunion with Shran. If he knew one thing for certain, it was that Shran would never let this go.

XoXoXoXoXoXoXo

Jontek piloted the scout ship down to Rowtorn. Entering the atmosphere, he could see the settlements that had held a thriving Andorian population up until the water supply had been compromised. As they exited their ship, Jontek and T'Pol were shocked by what they saw. There was evidence of mass graves as the bodies had piled up. At the end, no one was left to bury the dead, so those last lay where they had died. Fortunately, there were not many of the latter. Still, it was an eerie sight to behold.

It didn't take much time for the compound to do its work. Before long, Jontek and T'Pol had treated all of the contaminated water supplies. Jontek and T'Pol buried the bodies of they found, wanting to provide those Andorians with the dignity of a final resting place.

They had just left orbit, somber and quiet. Jon had headed back to secure the equipment in the cargo hold. Now that the compound had been distributed, they didn't need to make any more. Shutting things down would mean power wasn't being diverted unnecessarily. T'Pol had the bridge and noted they were being approached. She saw there were several Vulcan ships on an intercept. She knew she had stolen the ship they were using. It was likely that this was the Vulcan government's response to that act. She hailed them.

It was a surprise when S'Bont's face appeared in the viewscreen. "Do you know what you have done?"

"Yes. We have put a stop to this genocide."

"You have condemned Vulcan to war. If we had been able to remove all the Andorians, it would have been a bloodless victory."

"What about the Andorians who died? I wouldn't call that bloodless."

"T'Pol. You have been with the komihn too much. You have taken their perverted view of the galaxy and believed it. Vulcan must be more than just another planet in a Federation. We should be the rulers. We should assure that logic prevails. There is a reason Andorians need to be eradicated. They do not truly seek peace. They would find away to destroy Vulcan. I will not allow that to happen. We will destroy them first."

"S'Bont. Your argument is illogical. It is based on false premises. The Federation is the right way to go. It is the extrapolation of the IDIC. It is following Surak's way."

"T'Pol. I can not let you or Jontek continue. Prepare to be boarded."

"No."

"Then you will be destroyed."

At those words T'Pol took immediate action. Moving the ship quickly meant that the volley S'Bont's ship had fired hit a glancing blow on the ship. She put the ship into warp, pushing it to its limits. She felt the bond as Jontek tried to understand what was going on after being thrown around the cargo hold without warning.

_"What's going on, T'Pol?"_

_"We are under attack."_

_"By who?"_

_"S'Bont and his associates."_

_"Where are they? How many ships?"_

_"Likely they are following us. I do not expect to be able to outrun them for long. They have three ships. All S'Nara class."_

_"Damn! I'll be right there and see if I can get us some help."_

Jon entered the bridge area and immediately went to the communications center and put out a distress call. He hoped that Shran would hear it and send reinforcements.

As they continued to their rendezvous point, T'Pol monitored the progress of their pursuers. _"I believe they will catch us within 15 minutes."_

_"Anything we can use to hide?"_

_"There is a small asteroid field in range, but it is unlikely to buy us much time.."_

_"Head for it. Any port in a storm."_ He stopped and looked to T'Pol, his heart breaking. _"You shouldn't have come with me, T'Pol. We aren't likely to get out of this."_

_"I told you, I won't leave you. And if there's one thing I've learned being with you, it's that you never know how things will turn out. There is still hope."_

They prepared as best they could, knowing full well that their scout ship was no match for three S'Nara Class ships. Their only hope was to have the Andorians help. At this point, it was a crapshoot as to what the outcome would be, but it didn't look good.

XoXoXoXoXoXoXo

The shields of the ship were holding but barely. They had little weapon capability but used what they could to provide whatever protection they could. T'Pol had taken the tactic of blowing up asteroids to provide as much cover as possible and to take the brunt of the blows that were being rained upon them.

A particularly large blast hit the ship, causing the ceiling of the bridge to fall. Jontek was to the back, monitoring communications and doing his best to provide more power to the shields. He knew that T'Pol was an able pilot and her ability to tactically think under pressure would give them at least a fighting chance. He heard the sound of the blast followed by the sight of the ceiling and beams falling directly onto T'Pol.

_"T'Pol!"_

There was no answer.

_"Oh God, T'Pol!"_ He rushed over to where he seen her, just before the ceiling had covered any trace of her. His despair was overwhelming

Sontek's mental words were soft. _"She's not dead, Jon."_

He felt a spark of hope. _"How do you know?"_

_"The bond is still there. It's weaker but it's still there."_

_"Then we've got to get this stuff off of her."_

With that, the merged man, unconcerned about the battle around him anymore, pulled at the devastation around him. If nothing else, if they were to die, he wanted it to be in each other's arms.


	24. Chapter 24

**Merged**

Chapter 24

The ship was hit by yet another blast. The communications center sparked and Jontek was sure that if he'd still been standing there, he would have been electrocuted. He wasn't sure how much longer the small ship would hold together. He noted on the view screen that one of the other three Vulcan ships was coming around again. He again looked to the debris that had fallen on T'Pol and clung to Sontek's assurance that she was still alive.

He continued to remove the ceiling pieces from where he'd seen her fall. He didn't even notice the Andorian ship which entered the area until it took out the Vulcan ship which would have likely have ended Jontek's rescue attempts. One down, two to go. He would say that two ships against two might be a fair fight if he didn't know that the one he was in was likely to fall apart any moment.

He saw the shuttle craft leave the Andorian ship and head toward them. It was a last ditch effort to save them and he was grateful. He had to get to T'Pol and quickly. If they were even to have a chance, he must free her. He doubled his efforts to remove the shattered pieces of the ship that kept her from him.

He barely heard the sound of the door opening behind him.

"Jontek, we must leave. Now." Shran had grabbed his shoulder and was pulling it.

He brushed the Andorian off. "I'm not leaving T'Pol."

"You must."

With a determination in his voice he stated firmly, "No. I'd rather die with her then leave her behind."

Shran had dealt with the Pink Skin long enough to know he'd fulfill that death wish rather then seek his own survival. It was one of his traits that Shran felt was most Andorian. He ran over and helped the Vulcan man that held his friend within remove the offending materials, which kept them from T'Pol. Another blast hit the ship, but it was a glancing blow. Another full on and it was likely none of them would get off the ship in time.

The last piece separating them from T'Pol was removed. She was beneath the console but it was obvious that her head had been hit by a piece of the falling ceiling. Green blood streamed down the left side of her face, and running down her ear to pool beneath her head. Jontek knew that it was risky to move her, but it was riskier to leave her there. He scooped her up and the two men ran to the door, to the waiting shuttle that could take them to the safety of the Andorian ship.

Shran's voice was hard, his antennae rigid. "These brocnar will pay for this. I promise you. I will see that not a particle remains of their ships."

Jontek knew that he would fulfill that promise. Although he too wanted revenge on these people, he also knew it wasn't the way to handle this. Not if the Federation were to survive. "Shran, they mustn't be destroyed. If they are, they will become martyrs to their cause. We do not know how deep this conspiracy is. They must be brought before Federation justice. To show that the Federation can and does work."

"But they are without honor. Brocnar do not deserve such consideration." It was voiced dismissively.

Jontek conceded but still pushed for what he knew was right. "That may be, but think about it. If they are not still around, untrue stories can be woven. The war between Andoria and Vulcan could be reignited. I know you don't want that, Shran."

As they ran out, another glancing blow hit the ship. The Andorians were keeping the Vulcans busy and preventing their targeting from hitting its mark. Still, what ceiling was left finally fell to the deck. They ran down the corridor reaching the airlock, now somewhat blocked. Shran crawled over a beam into the shuttle. He gestured to Jontek to hand T'Pol to him, gently taking her from him. Shran went to lay her down and then started back. As Jontek was crawling into the space, another blow rocked the ship throwing him backwards. His head hit a beam and the force crushed the right side of his head slightly but enough to cause him to lose consciousness. Shran crawled again into the dying ship and pulled Jontek into the shuttle. He closed off the airlock and keyed the engines, taking off at best speed. He'd barely gotten clear of the ship when the Vulcan ship gave a final shudder and cracked open, the ship's interior breached into the openness of space.

Shran piloted the shuttle into the bay of the mother ship, his creative path always one step ahead of the Vulcan phase cannons. He knew his ship's doctor would be close at hand to help address the injuries of the two Vulcan's that Shran had just literally pulled out of the jaws of death. As he looked over to the two that he had called friends for many years he called to the Ice Gods to look favorably upon them, to grant them warmth to live another day.

Leaving the Vulcan's to the medical team, Shran rushed to the bridge. He wanted to make the two Vulcan ships pay for the destruction they had rendered upon his people, upon his friends. He recalled Jontek's plea to only render the ships inoperable so that the Vulcan's on board would have to face the justice of the Federation. He considered how sweet revenge would taste but knew that the Vulcan/Human spoke truly. If he simply destroyed them, it would look as if the Andorian/Vulcan conflict had yet started again and these Vulcan's would have achieved their goal of destabilizing the peace that the Federation had wrought.

"Target their weapons and engines."

"Sir?"

"You heard me. I want them disabled."

The crew was too well versed as Imperial Guards to question the order further. With the rescue completed, they could concentrate on ending this battle. As they continue to press against the two ships, Shran was surprised to hear his communications officer announce the arrival of two other ships. Two Starfleet vessels, the Saratoga and the California. Between the three ships, the two Vulcan renegades were easily subdued.

Shran was hailed from the Saratoga. He found himself looking into the eyes of Captain Tanya Flanders. She indicated they had been sent to this space by an order set in motion by Starfleet Security. They weren't certain what they would find but they'd been ordered to provide assistance to the Andorians. Shran quickly filled them in on what the Vulcans on these two ships had been doing. Captain Flanders assured him they would be taken to Federation Headquarters where they would be charged and face trial. He agreed.

Leaving Starfleet to arrest the Vulcans who had tried to destroy his people, Shran left the bridge to check on the two Vulcan guests of his sickbay. When he walked in he was pleased to see T'Pol sitting up, head bandaged but otherwise looking mostly like the Vulcan he had first learned to respect. He noticed that Jontek, though was still unconscious. He figured that the look of concern on her face had something to do with that fact.

"You're looking better, T'Pol."

"It is well to see you Shran. I only hope you were in time."

He asked the Andorian doctor the prognosis and was told the merged being was holding its own, but that it certainly wasn't out of the ice flow yet. T'Pol, overhearing, took that to mean that things were much worse than she'd hoped.

T'Pol tried to get up to go over to the Vulcan male on the biobed next to her. The doctor stopped her. She tried to insist on performing a healing trance with him. "It will not help. The damage is too extensive. We'll just have to wait this out."

T'Pol nodded. The bond she was feeling was different somehow. Part of it was incredibly weak. The other part felt stronger but unable to find its way along the string between them.

XoXoXoXoXoXo

Jon had felt their head hit the beam, the side which held Sontek's essence suddenly assaulted with pain. _"Sontek!"_

The Vulcan had not answered and before Jon could try again, he lost consciousness.

He realized that they were still not in a conscious state. Yet, he was able to seek out Sontek. When he found him, he was shocked. It reminded him of meeting Surak after the blast in the Forge, when the radiation sickness was assaulting him. This was certainly not the same cause, but he felt as if the Vulcan was dying.

_"Sontek!"_

As if pulling himself from a deep slumber, Sontek answered, _"Jon. I'm glad you are okay. I wasn't sure. Do you know how T'Pol is?"_

Jon tried to find the bond but was unsure. _"I think I can feel her, but it's like threading a needle in the dark. I know she's somewhere, but I can't touch her."_

_"Jon. You have to fight your way to consciousness. You have to have them contact Phlox."_

Jon was confused. _"Why?"_

_"Do you remember the day we left Tanansis V? The meeting with the Tananites?"_ Sontek tried to send a mental picture of the event. His mind was not working optimally.

_"Yeah."_ Jon noticed a scene in his mind, like looking through a cloudy lens.

_"They said if I were to die, you would need surgery to survive."_

Jon wouldn't accept this. _"You're not going to die, Sontek. I won't let you."_

_"It is not your choice."_ He paused. _"And what about T'Pol? Don't you owe it to her to live?"_

Jon recalled back to sickbay and Trip. He felt the same pain. _"I don't want to lose you, Sontek."_

_"Jon, we both have stated that given the choice, we'd live as ourselves."_

_"But I don't want you to die."_ He knew it sounded childish, but it was a wish from his soul.

_"We all die, Jon."_

Jon's heart hurt. _"Not like this."_

_"Jon, I'd like for you to remember me."_

_"I'll never forget you, Sontek. We've been a part of each other so long."_

_"No. I mean I want to show you who I am. Open my memories to you, fully. Will you see?"_

_"Okay, Sontek. Whatever you want."_

It was as if there had been hidden shields in their mind forever. Suddenly they dropped. Jon found himself seeing Sontek's life.

He saw him as a child, with others in a Vulcan nursery. The children were learning a counting song. Sontek sat to the back of the room, watching, not participating as fully. He could tell that this was due to a shyness the young child felt. He had a desire to join in but a fear as well that he would not be good enough.

He saw Sontek in his family life. His Mother, Senaya and his father, Vlant. His father served on the Solora, a deep space probe ship. His mother taught navigation at the Vulcan Science Academy. Before the two children had been born, she too had served in the Vulcan fleet. His sister T'Plorn worked for the Vulcan High Command until it was disbanded. She worked as a clerk in the Diplomatic Corps, the same department that Soval worked in. She had even visited Earth once years ago. Had met with her relative who was an advisor on the Warp Five Project.

He saw the family and extended family gatherings. Cousins playing, stories told. He saw Sontek at the feet of his uncles, hearing tales of Earth. Hearing of their parochial attitudes, their lack of emotional control, and the fear that should they succeed at building a warp ship capable of the stars that all hell would break loose in the galaxy.

He saw Sontek's bonding ceremony as a child. Meeting T'Salin, developing a bond with her. This bond then followed him through all the rest of her life, through school, through desert training, through all parts of Vulcan life. He felt the comfort of knowing there was always someone there. He felt the contentment that came with the knowledge that he would spend his life with her.

He saw how the discovery of the Kir'Shara shook the foundation of Vulcan life. The initial arguments that Surak's katra could not still be alive, the following of the scientific tests to determine if this was indeed the true Kir'Shara, the study of it's words when it was determined this was Surak's own teachings, the changes as each Vulcan examined his or her own heart in the light of the knowledge of the true path. The commitment that Sontek had given to following that path, no matter where it led him.

He saw how the Romulan War had affected Sontek and Vulcan in general. Many lost family. Sontek lost his father and mother. Sontek lost T'Salin.

He felt what Sontek felt during the last moments of T'Salin's life, as the ship she was on slowly lost atmosphere. The Romulans took no prisoners and there was no one to mount a rescue. He felt Sontek stay with T'Salin, comforting her, speaking to her along their bond. He had seen Sontek and T'Pol together but knew that their relationship was not the same as Sontek's and T'Salin's. This feeling was not quite the same as human love but it was as close as Jon could have imagined. He felt the deep, unending grief that Sontek felt the second the bond broke. He knew his pain had been deep.

He saw Sontek pull himself together and continue to take each day as it happened, focusing entirely on his work. He noted that Sontek's relationship with his sister stayed strong how he took to providing assistance to her when her husband would leave on his voyages. He saw that Sontek saw his role of uncle as important.

He saw Sontek, meeting him on the Trafalgar, interested to know the man who Surak had shared his katra with. He'd heard stories as a child but the man in front of him did not match those stories. This was a man of science as well as one who, as a human, would embrace his emotions. He decided to give him the benefit of the doubt and learned during their examination of the star geyser that he actually liked the way this human comported himself.

He saw Sontek on the shuttle heading towards the surface of Tanansis V. The sure certainty that this would be his last moments. He felt him reach out, hoping to find some lasting filament of his bond with T'Salin, almost but never touching it. And then darkness.

The memories stopped.

_"You loved her. You loved T'Salin."_

_"Yes. That's how I knew that T'Pol loved you. How I knew you love her. You must be here for her, Jon. Find your way along the bond." He paused. "I'm tired. I must rest now. I must try to conserve my strength until we reach Denobula."_

Jon watched Sontek's consciousness take a different mode then he'd seen before. It was almost as if he were drawing what strengths he could to him. It made Jon feel tired as well, but Sontek had indicated he needed to fight to the surface and to consciousness. He did so.

T'Pol watched as Jontek's eyes fluttered open. "Jontek!"

"I'm Jon alone. Sontek is not doing well. We have to get to Denobula."

"Why?"

"Sontek said that Phlox knows the procedures that will need to be followed should he die. But I'm hoping Phlox will be able to save Sontek instead."

T'Pol nodded. She cupped his face, running her thumb along his jaw line. "I love you, Jon."

He reached up to her and pulled her towards him. They kissed, their lips touching, brushing against each other softly. He whispered, "I love you too, T'Pol. I was so afraid I'd lost you." The kiss became deeper.

The Andorian doctor touched T'Pol's shoulder. "If you wish this man to survive, you must give him rest."

She nodded, looking down into the brown eyes of the Vulcan man that held Jon. "He's right, you should rest. I'll be here if you need me."

Jon felt so tired. He nodded and closed his eyes, finding sleep quickly.

T'Pol told Shran what Jon had said and they set course for Denobula. T'Pol contacted Phlox and he nodded knowingly as if this message was one he knew would come eventually. He said he would have everything prepared.

For the next 20 hours, T'Pol barely left the side of Jontek. He never again regained consciousness but his biosigns indicated he was alive. T'Pol was hopeful.


	25. Chapter 25

Merged

Chapter 25

Shran piloted the shuttle to the surface of Phlox's home world. He glanced over a few times, watching T'Pol holding Jontek's hand. When she had come to him to explain the need to go to Denobula, he was concerned. The Pink Skin might be within a Vulcan, but he was still his friend.

The night the Vulcan had typically not handled the Andorian Ale well, Shran had been surprised that T'Pol had shown up within moments of the man passing out. He recalled their conversation.

**"Did you know that Archer liked Chan?"** This piece of information meant the human was much more interesting than he'd ever believed.

**"What are Chan?"** T'Pol asked, not understanding the concept. He wasn't surprised. Vulcans mated for life and from what he'd heard, they only engaged in sex when they absolutely had to. Such a backwards species.

**"Androgynous males that can turn into females. That's what we call them on Andoria. Apparently on Earth they are called Drag Queens."**

**"I do not believe you understood the context of Sontek's statement."** She seemed sure of her words.

Since she hadn't been in the room when the conversation had taken place, Shran believed she was just being obtuse. **"How do you know? You weren't here."**

**"I share a connection with Jontek. I learned of your conversation from that."**

He wasn't surprised that a Vulcan would try to listen in on a conversation. P'Jem had taught him they could do so quite secretly. **"You were eavesdropping?"**

**"No. I felt Jon get upset when Sontek told you that. That is why I knew that he had become unconscious. I have no need to eavesdrop. Very little of what you discuss is interesting to me."** She truly did not seem interested. She never did engage in the discussions that he and Archer had had in the past, especially those in his Ready Room, unless Archer had specifically requested her to be there.

**"This connection must make intimate talk quite interesting."** Shran had always liked the verbalizations of mating. It excited him. If pictures could be transmitted, though, that might make this silent communication worthwhile.

**"It has its uses. Now help me get him to his quarters. I would imagine that the Andorian Ale will cause him to suffer the consequences of over indulgence."**

**"He didn't even finish his glass!"** Archer had always been able to hold his Ale almost as well as any Andorian. Becoming a Vulcan had not been in his best interest.

T'Pol stated simply, **"As Vulcan's do not partake of alcoholic beverages, the amount that Jontek consumed was quite substantial."**

Shran grinned. **"Vulcans make cheap dates."**

T'Pol raised an eyebrow at him. **"Only if you prefer your dates to be intoxicated."**

Shran laughed and replied **"Those are the best kind!"** He had helped her to carry the now limp man down the corridor. Between the two of them they got Jontek into his bed.

As they were leaving his room, T'Pol turned to Shran. **"I would appreciate it if you would not mention this newly discovered information about Jon to anyone."**

**"Why? Archer obviously thinks like an Andorian."**

**"As I said before, you are taking it out of context. Jon does not seek out chan…or Drag Queens. It was a mistake. One that he would not like to have as public knowledge."**

Now Shran was sure he could use this information to make the Pink Skin squirm. **"That makes it all the more interesting."**

T'Pol gave him a look that could melt ice. **"Shran. I believe you…owe me one."**

He was surprised at this request. **"What?"**

She explained her logic. **"I helped you when your daughter was in danger. If I understand your code of honor, it is a debt you have not yet repaid."**

Shran nodded, conceding the point. **"I've never had a Vulcan call me on a debt before. I accept your terms. Nothing more will be said of this."** He stopped for a moment. **"But I would have loved to have been able to use the knowledge in a more creative way!"**

Now he wasn't sure he'd even be able to privately needle his friend. Archer had been a human he felt he could trust. No matter what, Archer had always acted in a way that sought to provide the optimal solution to all parties, unless it was a question of justice. Then he would do his best to make sure the ones injured were provided with reasonable recourse. He'd even found a way to work with the very species that that tried to destroy Earth. Shran had never understood that. If it had been him, after the destruction of the weapon, the Xindi would have paid dearly for killing his people.

And yet, Shran had followed Jontek's plea to allow the brocnar that had murdered so many Andorians with their genocidal plot to face Federation justice and not Andorian revenge. He realized suddenly that change that had occurred in him. When he'd first met the Pink Skin, making that choice would not have been an option. Then he would have lashed back at the Vulcans indiscriminately. Now, he was willing to accept that perhaps it had only been a small number of Vulcans who wanted a return to their former tactics.

As he set the shuttle down at the landing coordinates, he truly hoped the Pink Skin would pull through this as he had beaten the odds during so many situations in the past.

XoXoXoXoXoXoXo

The Denobulan Doctor met the shuttle with a biosled. The Vulcan's body was placed upon it and Phlox made sure all life support functions were hooked up. His initial examination did not bode well for long term continuation of the merged being.

He brought Jontek into the Denobulan medical center. Shran had been told that he would be kept informed but that for now, medical practicalities dictated he go back to his ship. He would not be able to help his friend and quite frankly, could get in the way. Shran was at first indignant, but Phlox continued to insist this was in the best interest of his patient. Shran finally acquiesced, indicating he would expect a report at the earliest possible moment.

After he left, Phlox turned to T'Pol. He asked to speak with her in private.

"I should stay with him."

Phlox indicated that his office was right off of the room so they would stay close. "I want to know that your decisions are your own and not influenced by others, T'Pol. Being in the office will make that easier." She nodded and they went into the office. Phlox looked her in the eye. "I need to ask if you will be willing to help him."

An eyebrow rose. "Of course. Why would you even question that?"

"I know, of course, that you want to help Jontek. What I mean is there is a procedure that will need to be followed. It will require you to meld. It is not to be taken lightly." Phlox wanted to ensure she knew the risks.

T'Pol did not understand why Phlox was being difficult. "I have melded with Jontek before."

Phlox sighed. "I'm not explaining this well. What I mean is you will have to meld with two beings at the same time. You will be needed as a conduit."

"I do not understand."

Phlox explained, "When I was on Earth with Jontek after your pon'farr, I had to work with both beings separately. While I was working with Sontek, we discovered that the Tananites were incorrect."

"Incorrect? How?" T'Pol wasn't sure she liked the direction this conversation was going.

"Sontek had told me that the Tananites stated there was no way to separate the beings without both dying."

"That was my understanding as well." She stopped as the ramifications of his statement sunk in. "You can separate them?"

"Potentially."

"Why are you not sure?"

"It will require the mind of Jonathan Archer to leave Sontek's body."

T'Pol shook her head. "That is not possible."

"Sontek believed it might be possible. He had asked me if could clone a human body. I told him that wouldn't be a problem. After all, Jon willed his body to me. I have more of his DNA here at my lab then exists in Jontek himself. And the procedure is not that difficult. The Narcuchians of Nantichi VII have been creating clones for years although they use theirs to harvest body parts. The clones are fully functional but there is no personality within them."

"You have such a clone of Jon?" The surprise on T'Pol's face was palpable.

Phlox nodded. "When you contacted me yesterday, I started to grow it."

Calculating the time since she'd contacted him, she stated, "That was less than 24 hours ago. How long does it take to grow a clone? I don't think we have much time."

"The Narcuchian procedure is rapid. To age the clone to the age Jon was when he died, perhaps another fifteen hours."

T'Pol was determined to do anything she could to help Jontek. "What do I have to do?"

"You'll have to merge with both Jontek and the clone at the same time. The fact that one of them actually has no mind to meld to will make this dangerous for you. That is, if you become one mind with a being with no consciousness, it could affect your ability to pull away."

T'Pol knew Phlox spoke truly. Entering such a mind would be dangerous. "Yes."

"That is why Sontek is fighting so hard to survive a while longer. He will be holding on to your mind, at least until Jon's mind enters his body."

Phlox could see her weighing the information he'd just provided to her. "I wish to proceed, Phlox."

Phlox was still not sure he had informed consent. "I may not have made this clear, T'Pol. There are no guarantees. Sontek told me that a human mind has never been moved into a human body. It's never been attempted."

T'Pol argued, "But if Vulcan Katra can be moved, I don't see how there would be a problem."

Shaking his head, Phlox explained. "That is different, T'Pol. Those techniques are known on your world. This has never been attempted. Sontek assures me that while the procedure will be different, logically, it should work." He added, "However, if Sontek should die while this transfer is occurring, I'm not sure any of you will survive."

She asked, "Is there any other way you can save Jontek?"

Phlox shook his head sadly. "No. Sontek told me that he knew from the start that Jon would never be able to survive without him, no matter what the Tananites had said. Once the Vulcan part of the merged being dies, the body will start to die as well. If Sontek is not there to accept the human part, it will be rejected and both will die."

T'Pol considered these new facts. "So if we do this, Jon has a chance to live. What about Sontek?"

"The brain damage was extensive to start with. The Tananites were correct in that assessment. The additional damage caused during the battle was significant. Sontek is dying."

"Can't you save him?" The thought that Sontek would die greatly disturbed her.

Phlox had one option. "It might be possible for the merging to be reversed."

"You mean Sontek could exist in Jon's body?"

"That is correct. It would be possible if…"

An alarm suddenly went off in the other room. The nurse that had been monitoring Sontek's vital signs signaled Phlox to return to the room. Both Phlox and T'Pol rushed to see what was occurring.

Phlox checked the readings which indicated that the Vulcan was losing his hold on his life. "We'll have to bring Jon's mind into the clone earlier than expected. Prepare for the procedure." Phlox turned to T'Pol. "Are you sure you want to do this?"

"Yes. It's Jon's and Sontek's only chance."

Phlox requested the cloned body be brought into the room. T'Pol noted that this was a much younger man than she had known. She had first met Jon when he was in his late forties. In human terms, he was older than she, although chronologically she was the older being. The clone was a man much younger. His hair was longer and thicker, his face held no lines, and the tone of his body not quite as defined. Still she could tell this was not the body of an adolescent.

Three biobeds were set up close to each other. They were set so that the three bodies occupying them would be somewhat seated. The two males faced T'Pol, who was placed in the middle between them. She took her right hand and placed it on Jontek's face in the position to initiate a merge.

She entered into their mind, finding them both in pain, finding them dying. _"Jontek!"_

_"T'Pol. I'm sorry you have to experience this, but it is the only way."_

_"I am ready. I just wish this had been done right after the merging._

_"We didn't know it was possible. Until Sontek met with Phlox we didn't know we could be separated. But we can't turn back time and now time is almost up. We must proceed."_

T'Pol took her left hand and touched it to the face of the clone. Touched it to Jonathan's face, feeling his strong jaw, the softness of his hair at his temple, the line of his cheekbone. T'Pol's mind entered an abysses of nothingness. Jontek felt a cold chill as the feeling shot back along her consciousness revealing the absence of mind in the cloned body. They were one mind composed of three, straddling three bodies.

Sontek spoke softly to Jon. _"You have felt the filament of the bond between us and T'Pol as it entered our mind before. Your mind will need to glide upon it. I am holding T'Pol. You have nothing to fear."_

Jon was uncertain. _"The bond although stronger is still weak. Could this hurt T'Pol?"_

Sontek replied, _"I can not say, Jon. This has never been attempted before. But this is our only hope."_

T'Pol encouraged Jon to pull himself along the bond. He was still unsure this was the right thing to do. He didn't want to cause T'Pol any pain. _"Jon, you know my mind. I want you to live. I want Sontek to live. This is our only choice and only chance. You must do this."_

Jon followed her request. He pulled upon the bond as it went through T'Pol's mind, pulled it ever closer to the clone. He could feel her strain to maintain the duel link, feeling the nothingness that was the clone as it tugged on her mind, pulling her towards oblivion. He could feel Sontek's weakening grip on her mind, feel the shakiness of his connection. Jon hurried along to fill the emptiness of the clone mind.

Finally reaching the interconnection, he flowed into the human form, flowed into himself. He found it alien; he found it no longer seemed to fit. He felt alone and yet not. T'Pol and Sontek were still there. With him.

_"Sontek, it is your turn now."_

_"No, Jon."_

_"What? You said you would join me when you explained this to me while we were on the way to Denobula."_

_"I'm sorry, Jon. I had to tell you that to help you make the right choice. We always said that had we been given the choice, we would not have chosen that type of existence."_

_"But that was before I got to know you, Sontek. I want you with me. I want you to live."_

T'Pol spoke. _"Sontek, it is illogical not to follow this course. You have the chance for life."_

_"But it is not the life I would choose."_ Sontek opened his mind to T'Pol and Jon. They saw the reality that Sontek had known almost from the beginning.

When Sontek had awoken in the medical facility on Tanansis V, he knew he was alive. He had a komihn in his mind, but he was alive. And he was afraid. He feared the unknown.

**"Dakh pthak. Nam-tor ri ret na'fan-kitok fa tu dakh pthak."**

He could almost feel Surak's voice telling him to cast out fear. That there is no room for anything else until one casts out fear.

He was confused. He had read the Kir'Shara, but this was different. It was almost as if he was hearing Surak speak to him directly. Surak's teachings came to him in waves. He knew this komihn had not only touched the mind of Surak, but had lived with Surak's katra in his mind for several days. Sontek wondered if he was feeling the residual traces left during the sojourn of Surak's mind.

As he considered the reality of the situation he had awoken to, he realized that he did not need the komihn mind, only the komihn's physical structure. He realized that while Jon would certainly need Sontek to survive, the reverse was not at all true. His physical makeup had changed. They had put the komihn's brain inside of him That would allow him to live. But the komihn's mind was weak. It could be easily crushed, removed from existence. He wondered if it would be a kindness to end the existence of the komihn's mind.

**"Vah mau vah tor-yehat ri stau. Dom nam-tor vohris nem-tor ha'kiv."**

Again the words of Surak came to him, speaking to him of the true path. That as far as possible, he must not kill. That he should be slow to take life.

He argued that the Kir'Shara certainly was never meant to address this. It couldn't have been written to address something as wrong as putting two different planetary species in the same body. It went against nature to do so.

**"Ma etek natyan teretuhr lau etek shetau weh-lo'uk do tum t'on"**

Again, Surak's words came to him telling him that all have differences. That together, they could become greater than the sum of both of them. Sontek suddenly felt ashamed of how he had initially reacted. If Surak could survive with this komihn, surely he could as well.

**"Shiyau thol'es k'thorai ri k'ahm."**

He felt Surak's words sear his mind. He truly saw that nobility lies in action not in name. He must do what was right. He must at least attempt to coexist with the komihn. Time would eventually decide if it was possible.

**"Pulau na'vathular k'nuhk."**

Finally, there was one last thought. Reach out to others courteously. He would do everything he could to accept this being in his head. He would find a way to thrive with the human.

Jon was shocked and humbled at the same time. _"You could have had your life."_

_"But it would have meant taking yours. I could not do that and live to the true path. You were in my care. I did not know if we would succeed, but I had to give us the chance to do so."_

_"What stopped you during the pon'farr?"_

_"It was T'Pol. Somehow she prevented me from taking your life. I am grateful to her. I would have been devastated to take the life of my friend, even if it was caused by the insanity of the pon'farr."_

_"Sontek, I still want you to join me. I shared your body, I offer you mine."_

_"No. Although I embraced our time together, it is right for me to go. Perhaps if my katra is free, I will be able to find T'Salin again. You deserve your life as a human alone. You deserve your life with T'Pol."_ He paused. _"But know that this has been the greatest journey I have ever taken and I am thankful for what you have shown me, Jon. I have experienced things that no Vulcan could conceive of. I have known what it is to be human."_

Each of them looked at the other, realizing that again they were separate beings. Sontek saw Jon in his new body, ready to face the world again through human eyes. Jon saw Sontek's dying form, knew that this being had sacrificed everything for him that he would live and continue. _"And you have taught me what it is to be Vulcan. Thank you."_

Sontek bowed his head towards Jon and leaned back into the biobed. T'Pol broke the meld she held with Jon and his new body. She knew he would understand. She focused on her continuing meld with Sontek. _"T'Pol, you must let me go as well."_

_"I know. But I want this moment, Sontek. A moment for us to share. You have given me a gift that I can not ever repay. I want you to know how much it is treasured."_

_"There is an Earth saying that that no greater love has a man than to lay down his life for his friends. I feel that love for you and Jon, T'Pol. I would never have imagined as a Vulcan that I could feel this emotion. It is payment enough. I have lived the IDIC and know that I lived true to Surak's words. Remember me."_

_"We will, Sontek. You will not be forgotten."_

He softly pulled his mind back from her and asked her to leave him. She ended the meld, but continued to feel the bond between them. As he slipped away, she felt the bond between them sever. She felt a tear fall from her face.

She was surprised to feel a gentle hand wipe it away. Looking towards its source, she found sad green eyes gazing at her. "He's gone, isn't he?"

"Yes."

She turned towards Jon and buried her head in his chest. They held each other, not saying a word, just holding each other. Both felt a sadness that shook them to the core. Both felt the reality that their three had become two.


	26. Chapter 26

**Merged**

Chapter 26

He awoke after his first sleep as a human in nine months. He had found that the procedure had drained him physically while the depression he felt at the loss of Sontek had severely dampened any energy he might have felt emotionally. T'Pol had stayed with him until he fell asleep and then he just didn't know.

The bond was no longer there. He figured that it had developed from one Vulcan to another and now one of those Vulcans was gone. He understood Sontek's choice and yet, yearned to have him with him again. Wished to reach out and touch the mind that had been his constant companion for the past three quarters of a year. It hurt to know he'd never have that interaction again.

It was disconcerting to see the world through his own eyes. While the familiarity with the placement of his eyes, his mouth, his cheekbones, his ears was obvious, somehow it didn't feel real yet. He was a stranger in his own body. Nothing felt right. Even the taste in his mouth seemed off, the iron taste predominant, rather then the copper he'd become used to. He hadn't yet seen himself in the mirror but if what he'd seen through T'Pol's eyes during the procedure was any indication, then he was much younger than he'd been. It was the face he'd last seen in the mirror as a Second Lieutenant.

"Good morning, Jon. Nice to see you awake again." Phlox was as cheerful as ever and yet Jon noted concern in his eyes.

"Good morning, Phlox. How long have I been asleep?"

"Two days. I assume that your body found the need to recharge as it were. Perfectly normal. How are you feeling?"

"Okay, I guess. I'm not really sure. I don't feel like me. I know that sounds strange."

"You've been a Vulcan for nearly a year. Humans often go though a sense of disorientation when there has been a major change. Sometimes even minor ones, something as simple as a haircut for example, will give someone a time for pause."

Jon reached up to his head, feeling the hair that covered his head. It was thick and much longer then he'd ever worn it since he has joined Starfleet. Military protocol dictated a shorter length. "Yeah, I guess I'm going to have to have one of those soon." He looked up to Phlox. "So, Doc, how old _am_ I now?"

"Well, certainly you are the same chronologically. That is, you're still in your early fifties. But physically, we had to place you into the clone before it matched your chronological age again. I'd say physically you are the same as you were at age 28, give or take a year."

A lopsided grin graced his face. "Twenty eight. It's like starting over again."

"This is not an experience that a human has ever had."

"This past nine months fits that as well, Phlox."

'Indeed." He stopped for a moment, looking at the young man in front of him, wondering about his future. "Have you thought about what you want to do next?"

Jon considered the question for a moment. "I suppose I could go back to Starfleet. I wonder how Admiral Gardner will take this latest change in reality."

"I believe that he'll be glad you are back in your own body again. You've always been an asset to Starfleet and the Federation."

Nodding, Jon stated softly, "It's just that right now, it doesn't feel like my own body." He paused a beat before continuing. "I guess I need to find out what T'Pol would like to do as well. She's still the chair of our department at the Vulcan Science Academy. And I still have a class to finish teaching." He pursed his lips, eyes down, brow furrowed as if in thought. "I just don't know right now."

He heard the door of the Medical Center open and looked up, delighted to see both Shran and T'Pol walking in the room. He smiled. It felt good to do so. Natural.

T'Pol spoke up first. "Phlox told us you were awake, Jon."

"When did he do that?" He hadn't seen Phlox leave the room.

Phlox explained, "I noticed on the monitor when you awoke earlier."

"Ah. I guess it makes sense that you would still be monitoring me."

The physician smiled and then excused himself, indicating that he had rounds to attend to.

Shran stared at Jon, his antennae broadcasting surprise. "You are hardly a rilkna now."

"A what?" He had learned a good deal of Andorian over the years but there were always words cropping up that he had no clue of their meaning.

"An Andorian who has passed through the rites of manhood is a rilkna. I wouldn't have trusted you nearly as much if I'd first met you looking as you do now."

"Then it's a good thing you met me when I was older." The words didn't sound logical but they held truth in them none the less.

"Well, if what I hear of young humans is correct, T'Pol will be a very happy woman."

"What do you mean by that Shran."

"She told me you have a connection." His antennae and face conspired to indicate a suggestive content to the words.

"Shran, that's really none of your business."

Shran snickered. On Earth, he'd met human males who bragged about their sexual prowess as much as any Andorian. While Archer and he had many conversations over the years, he could not recall a time that the Pink Skin had done so. Still, he couldn't imagine that the man was unskilled in such endeavors. He just couldn't understand why he wouldn't speak of them. "Who said anything about business? I'm talking about recreational activities!"

Jon gave Shran a warning look. The Andorian's antennae wiggled happily. "Now that's the Pink Skin I know. It's good to have you back!"

"I was never gone, Shran. I just wasn't in my body." As he said it, a wave of sadness hit him again, the desire to comment to Sontek was strong.

"Well, it's good to see you in your body again. Calling you Pink Skin when you were inside a Vulcan just didn't seem right. Makes it much easier to interact with you."

T'Pol had watched this verbal volleying quite long enough and hadn't missed the look that had crossed Jon's face. She felt that providing something else for Jon to think about might pull him back from the direction his mood was heading. "Jon, I have been in contact with Malcolm. S'Bont and his associates are on their way to Federation headquarters. The charges are being drawn up and they will be facing trial in about three months, assuming there are no delays."

He indicated that he was glad to hear the report. "I'm just glad we were able to stop them."

"As are my people, Pink Skin. We have sent a delegation to Earth to assure that our concerns are addressed."

T'Pol continued, "You and I will be asked to testify."

Nodding, Jon stated, "I figured as much. Have you been in touch with Vulcan, T'Pol? After all, we stole a ship."

"Yes. I have spoken to T'Pau. She indicated that under the circumstances, our actions were the logical course to take. If we had not stopped the conspiracy, all of Vulcan would have suffered. Vulcan has sent their regrets to Andoria that Vulcans would have carried out such a heinous crime and have reiterated their desire for peace with the Andorians."

Shran continued. "Andoria has accepted the Vulcan gesture and has indicated that they understand this was not perpetrated by the Vulcan government or its peoples."

T'Pol added, "The password protected file we found did contain names. The conspiracy ran deep through Vulcan society. Currently, those persons identified with this plot are being arrested and will either stand trial at the Federation court or on Vulcan, depending on what level of involvement they had."

Jon sadly asked, "What about T'Nar's death?"

"It is being investigated now as a potential murder. The concept that a Vulcan would have engaged in such a violent act is a grave concern to the Vulcan Government. It is obvious that the Kir'Shara has not been adopted by all Vulcans to the same extent. There are still those who harbor attitudes not aligned with Surak's true path."

Jon looked into T'Pol's eyes, stating plainly, "Change seldom is universal, T'Pol."

She agreed and again changed the subject. "Jon, have you thought of what you wish to do?"

"I was talking to Phlox about that earlier. I guess you and I need to discuss it. I do know one thing I will need to do though."

"What is that?"

"I need to visit T'Plorn. Let her know about Sontek's death. I owe that to him."

"As do I. I will arrange our visit as soon as we know when you can leave the facility."

Phlox had rejoined them. "I would like to run some tests to make certain there are no hidden surprises in store."

Jon questioned, "How long will those take?" He didn't want to be in the Medical Center any longer then necessary.

"No more than a day or so."

Jon agreed. He'd had enough surprises in the past nine months to last a lifetime. He knew that Phlox would be thorough. If there were any problems lurking, he wanted to know about them.

XoXoXoXoXoXoXoXo

Phlox had run a full battery of tests on Jon. He found that Jon's gross motor functions were not optimal and had indicated that he would need to exercise to regain both his muscle strength and control. As Sontek had controlled their movements, relearning to work with his body would take a little practice.

Jon was still amazed to see himself in the mirror. The difference of 23 years was somehow compelling to see. It wasn't that he was vain. Rather, he'd never really thought how his face had changed through the years other then seeing the deeper crow's feet and graying temples. He now noticed that his face had taken on a harder edge as he had grown older. Noticed that fact because the edge was absent now. This was a face that had never known the Suliban, the Klingons, the Expanse, or the Romulan War. This was a face that was still believed that if mankind could reach the distant stars that they would encounter only wonder and adventure. This was a face that had never had to make decisions that could damn a man's soul.

His body, too, was different. Not only would he need to exercise to regain better control of his movements, but to rebuild the muscle definition that he had maintained throughout the years. His skin was smoother now, not weathered as it had become through exposure to the various environments he had experienced, including the Vulcan Forge. He also noted that he did not feel the pains that had started appearing as he'd aged, especially after the beatings he'd endured at the hands of multiple species bound and determined to end his life, or so it had seemed. He'd been 51 when the shuttle had crashed into the surface of Tanansis V. Now, his body had returned to the way it was when the furthest from Earth Jon had traveled was the outer limits of Earth's solar system.

One thing was certain. Although his sex drive had been strong and vital before his former body had died, now that drive was much more intense. He found that his body was responding to T'Pol whenever she was near him. In some ways, it was annoying to him to have his body signaling his desire for her so readily. In his previous body, he'd been able to control himself a bit more. This body at times seemed to have a mind of its own.

Phlox had started him on a physical therapy regiment two days before. He'd suggested that Jon should spend at least two weeks learning how to do the exercises correctly and then he could leave Denobula to reclaim the life he'd left behind those many months before. At least Jon hoped he would be able to reclaim that life. He had realized early on after the procedure that the person he'd become during his 51 years of life was as much hidden in this body as it had been when he shared Sontek's body. He simply didn't look like a man with 51 years of experience.

Shran had been called back to Andoria. He had wished Jon and T'Pol well and thanked them again for saving his people. He told Jon that the next time they met, he expected him to drink more than a half a glass of Andorian Ale. He promised that they would share stories again. He stated once more how happy he was to see the Pink Skin as himself, even if he _was_ barely rilkna.

Jon had not wanted to stay in the Medical Center the entire time he was going through the physical therapy. Phlox had suggested that he and T'Pol could stay within his family compound. They had accepted.

Arriving at the Denobulan home, they found that it covered a rather significant plot of land. There were multiple houses, and in some ways Jon found them reminiscent of multi-family dwellings on Earth. Phlox explained that the houses allowed each family group to share space together as the configuration of relationships constantly changed. There wasn't a set space for anyone. His family had agreed to make an exception for Jon and T'Pol, providing them with one of the smaller homes to share while they were guests. The home was cozy. There were three bedrooms, a bath, a sitting area, and a kitchen.

They entered the home. "So, T'Pol, how should we do this?"

T'Pol pointed to the room above them. "I will take the room at the top of the stairs. It should be the warmest one." T'Pol had felt chilled while on Denobula. It rained almost everyday, although usually not for long. While this meant that the planet was extremely verdant, it also meant that when the sun went down, the night air would take on a decidedly cool feel.

"Okay." He put their bags in the designated rooms. Since their ship had been destroyed, they had needed to obtain clothing while on Denobula. As it was a rather cosmopolitan planet, obtaining Vulcan clothing for T'Pol and Earth clothing for Jon had been easy.

After unpacking the few items they had, T'Pol turned to Jon. "Would you like something to eat?"

"What did you have in mind?"

"We could go out."

"Well, since we haven't been to the market yet, that makes sense." They called Phlox to ask about restaurants. They figured that while on Denobula, they should sample Denobulan food.

To the question Jon posed, Phlox answered, "There are no Denobulan restaurants that I'm aware of."

"What?" Jon's surprise was obvious.

"Denobulan cuisine is rather…boring," Phlox stated, placing an emphasis on the end of the sentence.

"Boring?"

"Yes. We have a tuber that grows, similar to an Earth potato called a lartnew. It is the staple of our diet."

"Don't you eat anything else?"

"Oh, and occasionally we consume Nuwrec stems and a few other things."

"Are there any restaurants on Denobula?"

"Oh yes! Once Denobulans discovered the cuisine of other cultures, we welcomed them with open arms. There is a very good Taquipian restaurant not far from the compound. I believe it would be within your walking distance."

"What is Taquipian food like?"

"It bears a slight resemblance to Earth's Chinese food."

"You say it's good?"

"Yes. My family eats there often. I think you will find the food delicious and interesting."

"Thanks, Phlox." Jon ended the call and conveyed Phlox's suggested restaurant choice to T'Pol. She agreed that this would be acceptable.

They headed out to the restaurant, finding it bustling with Denobulan patrons. They had to wait for about 30 minutes and headed to the courtyard to wait. The hostess, a Denobean, brought them a drink while they waited. It tasted like a lime flavored soft drink.

When they were seated, the hostess placed a plate of what most resembled pot stickers in front of them. The wrap was pink and the filling a bright purple. Jon looked around and found that other patrons who had been seated about the time they had been also had a plate of these placed on their tables and so he figured it was a complementary first course. He watched a Denobulan woman at the next table taking one with her fingers and dipping it into the green sauce that accompanied the dish. He repeated what he saw and found the combination produced a slightly sweet yet savory taste. He found that if he closed his eyes, the flavors were better experienced, as the colors of the food somewhat threw off his appetite.

He opened an eye and saw T'Pol had taken hers and placed it on the small plate in front of her. She was cutting a small piece off with the forklike utensil provided and was dipping it into the small amount of sauce she had placed on the plate. She took a bite and declared it to be an interesting taste, although perhaps a little too much on the sweet side to be considered truly pleasing.

The waitress, an orange skinned woman with a bright white smile came to take their order. Jon had seen Taquipians listed in the Vulcan database and the woman fit the description of the species. Jon wasn't' sure how ordering would be accomplished since they didn't have menus. "Uh…this is the first time we've been in a Taquipian establishment. How do we order?"

The waitress smiled again. "What type of tastes are you desiring?"

Jon indicated that he'd like something spicy and vegetarian if that was possible and not sweet. T'Pol indicated that she would prefer something subtlety spiced but also vegetarian, again with the admonition that the entree not be sweet. The waitress nodded and said she would be back in a moment. She walked into the back area and returned after a few minutes with two plates, both of which held three different items to taste.

Jon tried all three of his and decided on the second one. It reminded him of Kung Pao style tofu but he wasn't at all sure of the ingredients. Again, they came from a different color chart then Earth's Chinese food. There was a vegetable that looked similar to a baby corn that was chartreuse in color and another vegetable the looked like celery but was an almost electric blue. Again, closing his eyes was best for continued enjoyment. The accompanying grain was not like rice but had a more chopped effect than the individual grains that Jon was familiar with.

T'Pol wasn't sure which of her choices to order. She declared all three to be pleasing. She finally decided on the first choice, which seemed most like a moo goo gai pan style of dish.

When the actual entrees were brought out, Jon and T'Pol ate in silence. Jon had become used to Vulcan manners at meals. T'Pol would look over to him occasionally as if she expected him to speak and engage in the dinner conversation that had marked most of their shared meals prior to the accident. She noted his silence did not seem forced.

When the meal was completed, both indicated their enjoyment of the food. Jon opened the after dinner conversation. "So, T'Pol, have you made arrangements for us to return to Vulcan?"

"I have made reservations for us on a Denobulan transport. They will be leaving for Vulcan the day after Phlox has said you will be finished with the initial therapy. I have confirmed that there is a gym on the transport. You will be able to continue your healing process."

"Thank you for checking on that. I want to get back to functioning like myself again. It is strange being in a human body again."

"You are human. I am certain that it will become more comfortable for you as you continue to become familiar with your…surroundings."

He nodded. "I'm not sure how long that will take. I think that I'm getting better at controlling my movements again. Phlox's regiment isn't too taxing and it does help me to become more adept." He paused, a look of sadness crossing his face. "While I'm glad to be moving myself again, it constantly reminds me of Sontek. He'd been the one that moved us most of the time, except when he was behind shields. Even then, there was an automatic feel to most of moving. Now…well, I really have to think about certain movements."

"I understand from Phlox that you should regain your abilities after working on them."

Preceding his response with a breath out, Jon voiced his frustration. "I know, I just wish I could get it over with."

"Patience, Jon. You've been through quite a lot recently."

He rewarded her statement with a lopsided grin. "Did you know, you are a master of understatement?"

An eyebrow lifted and Jon laughed. Her lips turned up slightly. "There is no need to speak more than is necessary. What I stated was correct."

He agreed. "It was correct, but it doesn't come close to how absolutely huge these transitions have been." He stopped again before continuing. "I'm twenty eight again, T'Pol! Twenty-eight! It's like I have an entirely new life to live. I have options that I'd never been able to consider before. I'm glad of most of the choices I've made in the past 23 years but now I can follow the same path or veer off and find another one."

"It is a unique opportunity, Jon. What would you like to do."

"I think I first need to examine all the options. We'll have to return to Earth in any case for the trial. I'd like to do that after we go to Vulcan to see T'Plorn. I assume you want me to finish the class I currently have."

"That would be in the best interests of the students and the department. By the time we get back to Vulcan, we only have another six weeks until the semester break. We could both take a sabbatical after that, give you time to examine what you'd like to do."

"What we'd like to do, T'Pol. I'm not leaving you again. Whatever choices have to be made, we need to make them together."

She nodded. They received the check and headed back to the compound. They both had a restful sleep.


	27. Chapter 27

**Merged**

Chapter 27

The days Jon and T'Pol spent on Denobula settled into a routine. Jon worked at physical therapy, which he found was becoming more difficult as Phlox added more challenging exercises to help bring the human back to his optimum physical level. T'Pol spent the time working on the departmental paperwork that would leave the department in proper order so that she and Jon could take their sabbaticals. Jon would come back to the house each evening exhausted and after a quick dinner and a shower, he'd generally fall into bed, sleeping until the next day when the work would start again.

This routine didn't change much during the four day trip to Vulcan after Jon was released from Phlox's care. While T'Pol wanted to spend more time with Jon, she understood that it would take awhile before he was back to some semblance of normal.

Phlox had indicated that he'd been subpoenaed by the Federation court since he had been involved in determining the structure of the material that had been used to kill the Andorians. Thus, their goodbyes also acknowledged that they would be together again in a few months time.

Jon and T'Pol had reached Vulcan after a month's absence that had changed everything on the planet. The Vulcan people were reeling from the knowledge that some of those they had lived and worked with were capable of violent and horrific actions. There was a renewed commitment to following the Kir'Shara and embracing its concepts.

They had met with T'Plorn. She was deeply saddened that her brother had left her and her family's life but also accepted his decision not to continue as a merged being. She recognized that it was not a rejection of the komihn but rather a logical decision that this was not a life situation he wished to continue. She also recognized his desire to allow the komihn to live his life unencumbered by the consciousness of another being. She was comforted by the consideration the man who had shared her brother's body with had shown. He had acted with compassion following the Vulcan way. T'Pol's actions were also appreciated. T'Plorn knew that her brother had been joined to those who truly cared for him. It made his death easier to bear.

T'Plorn had indicated that she would be the executor of Sontek's estate. She would contact him later to address any lingering issues. She indicated that Jon and T'Pol would always be welcome in her home.

Jon had been planning to continue teaching, finishing the semester but had been called back to Earth to meet with Admiral Gardner. T'Pol had indicated that she would complete the course and had told him she would see him in six weeks. Jon had headed back to Earth.

He arrived late in the afternoon on the day before his appointment with Admiral Gardner. He headed to his apartment. He again had to convince his doorman that he had permission to use his own apartment. George had noticed the resemblance of the young man to Admiral Archer and had wondered if he was a relative. Jon had to him he was definitely a relation. George had welcomed him, stating that he missed the Admiral. Jon had smiled, wondering how George would react once he could convince him that he was Admiral Archer.

As Archer entered his apartment, he recalled the last time he'd spent time there. He'd been Jontek. He'd been merged. All of the memories came rolling back in on him. He found that he couldn't stay there that first night. He called Becca. He wasn't surprised when she offered to let him stay over at her place. He accepted.

Knocking on her door, he recalled the long friendship they'd had. A friendship which had included some rather intimate times. He had shared his bed with her on numerous occasions. Theirs had been a relationship of comradeship and occasional casual sex by mutual desire. He knew she had not wanted a long term romantic relationship with him and while he loved her as a friend and occasional lover, he had no interest in a romantic relationship with her either.

She opened the door, eyes flying open. "Jon! Oh my God! It is you!" She paused a beat. "Damn, you look young!"

"Hi Becca. Sorry to do this to you."

"Do what, Jon? Ask for my help? You know I'm here for you. I always will be. Now get inside."

He stepped into her apartment. "Thanks, Becca." He walked over to the couch. "It's just that when I walked into my apartment today, the reality hit again."

With eyes that indicated her concern for him, she asked, "This has been hard on you, hasn't it?"

He blew out a breath. "Oh, yeah. I'd come to accept that I'd never be 'me' again. That my life would be looking at the world from a Vulcan's eyes. I never saw this coming."

"You're looking quite well." Seeing him 23 years younger brought back memories of the times they'd had over those same 23 years.

"I'm looking twenty eight."

"There is that. You know, you look just like you did when I first met you. You remember that?"

"Yeah. You and A.G. had been going out. He was pissed when you started coming onto me."

"Well, a little jealousy never hurt anyone. Can I get you something?"

"Uh, maybe some water."

"You want a little Scotch in that as well?"

"Sure. Why not." The memory of Sontek and the Andorian Ale came to mind. He smiled remembering how hard it was for Vulcans to hold their liquor.

He could hear the tinkle as the ice cubes hit the glass. A few moments later she came back to the couch, two glasses full of a medium colored amber liquid. She handed him one before raising her glass to him. "Here's to long friendships."

Hitting her glass with his own he answered, "And to those no longer with us."

They both took a sip. She looked at him, concerned again. "How are you doing, Jon. I mean, like I said, this has to be hard on you."

"I'm okay, Becca. I'm still learning how to live with this most recent change in reality. I'm not sure what I want to do."

"You'll go back to Starfleet." She said it was a certainty. As if there was not another possibility she could fathom.

His voice was uncertain. "I might. I'm not sure if I want to."

She looked at him as if he'd lost his mind. "You! Not in Starfleet?"

"As I say, I'm not certain. I've got a whole world of possibilities. Things that I'd given up on to pursue my career are now viable again."

She considered this, turning it over in her own mind. "I never thought of that."

"That's all I've been thinking about."

She continued to sip at her Scotch. She'd made the drinks a bit stronger then usual. She could feel the alcohol beginning to loosen her up. She could tell he was a little looser himself but he was still much too tense. "Hey, turn around. I'm going to give you one of my patented, sure-to-make-you feel better backrubs."

He put his drink down on the coffee table and turned his back to her. She laid her hands on his shoulders, slowly kneading the muscles beneath her hands.

"Ummm. That feels good." She could feel him relaxing. The knots in his shoulders, in his back slowly disappearing under her expert ministrations. She stopped after about 15 minutes. "Oh don't stop. That felt good." She didn't resume and he turned towards her.

She took the opportunity to pull his face towards her. She pressed her lips to his, inviting him to return with his own passions. For a moment, it seemed as if he might accept as she felt him respond to her, his mouth seeking hers. Then suddenly he pulled away.

He stated hoarsely, emotions in play. "I can't."

Becca was confused. She'd felt him start to answer her call to him as he had throughout the years. "Why not? It's never been a problem for you before."

"There's someone in my life right now. I just can't."

She nodded, disappointed but understanding. "I see."

"Becca, I just need you as my friend right now. I don't need a lover."

"Its okay, Jon. Seeing you tonight just brought back a lot of memories of great times we've shared. I was just thinking we could add another memory to the collection."

He nodded but his intentions were clear. "I'm sorry."

"As I said, its okay." She paused for a moment. "So, what do you want to do tonight?"

"I thought we might get dinner. Maybe pick up a movie. Just be."

"Okay. I'm game. Anyplace you feel like going?"

"Not really. You choose."

"All right. Italian it is."

They headed out the door, their friendship still intact. Jon knew that Becca was right. She'd always be there for him. She was just that kind of a friend.

XoXoXoXoXoXoXo

Jon walked into Admiral Gardner's office, realizing that he'd been a Lieutenant Commander, not much older then the body he now inhabited the first time he'd met him. The memory made him smile. Gardner had been ahead of him back when he and A.G. had proved that his father's engine was sound, only needing to balance the intermix. Jon had been a little too by-the-book in those days. He'd been sure he and A.G. would be thrown out of the program when they'd stolen the test vehicle, that Gardner would likely be the one that would fly the first vessel holding his father's engines. He'd been wrong.

"Jon! It's good to see you. Sit down."

"It's good to see you as well." He took a seat in one of the two chairs facing the Admiral's desk.

"God, it's only been two months. So much has changed. Seems like you've landed on your feet again."

Jon looked confused. "Excuse me?"

Smiling, Gardner explained. "I told you before, Jon. I've ceased believing I can ever figure what direction your life will take."

"I suppose I've had my share of situational realities," said Jon, grinning back.

Dryly, Gardner answered, "That's putting it mildly." The Admiral looked down at the folder that was open on his desk. "And this situation is no different. We received the report from Phlox giving you a clean bill of health. I'm pleased to be able to reinstate you as Admiral again."

"I'm not sure if I want it now."

The words shocked Gardner. "What?! Jon, Starfleet is your life."

Jon didn't disagree. "It might still be. I'd just like to have some time to think about it."

"How long do you need." Gardner needed him now.

"Can you give me until after the trial?"

Gardner considered it. "Hmmm. How about this instead? You resume your duties as Admiral now. After the trial, if you wish to resign your commission, I'll accept that. Fair deal?"

Jon nodded. "Fair deal."

"Jon, I really am glad to have you back with us. I never wanted to have to put you on medical leave, but there wasn't a choice. As long as you were within Sontek, it was the only decision possible.

"I know. It was hard to accept but I knew you were right. If the shoe had been on the other foot, I would have made the same decision. But just because I agreed with it doesn't mean I liked it."

"You wouldn't be the Jonathan Archer I know if you had liked it. Now let me bring you up to speed on the latest news. You'll need to hit the ground running."

For the next couple of hours, Jon was briefed on Starfleet operations. He was back and it felt good to be involved in the world that had been his up until the world had shifted after the shuttle he'd been flying slammed into Tanansis V.

XoXoXoXoXoXoXoXo

The next six weeks flew by quickly. Jon had become more comfortable as he regained the life he thought he had lost. T'Plorn had contacted him and indicated that Sontek had changed his will after his return to Vulcan willing a number of personal items and a sizable number of Federation credits to the man he had shared his life with. She offered to ship the items to him and he had agreed. They decided to maintain Sontek's apartment for another few months until Jon made up his mind as to what to do with his life.

Jon had found his new youth to be both a blessing and a curse in his position as Admiral. On the one hand, he had more energy to tackle the projects Gardner wanted him to work on. On the other hand, he found that on the interpersonal level, he had an uphill battle to fight. Although most of the people he worked with knew that there was a 51 year old soul with more experience in his little finger than most of the officers he dealt with had in total, the visual reality of being twenty eight caused him difficulty. He found that he needed to learn to act with a whole new level of patience.

When he'd met with Malcolm a few days after his reinstatement, this new paradigm became evident. Malcolm had needed to debrief him from his short but successful mission in intelligence gathering. They'd met at Malcolm's office.

Jon walked in, smiling at his former armory officer. "Good to see you again, Captain.

This was the first time Malcolm had seen Jon since the procedure had been completed. "Admiral Archer?"

"Yes."

Malcolm looked at the young man, dressed in the blue coverall with gold piping and Admiral insignia attached. "You don't look…" He trailed off.

"I don't look like an Admiral."

"No, sir."

Jon smiled. "It's still me. Just the wrappings are different."

"Yes, sir."

"Can we get started with this? I have some other appointments I have to attend to as well."

"Of course, sir." Still, Malcolm didn't start the debriefing.

"Is there a problem, Captain Reed?"

"Permission to speak freely, sir."

"Granted."

"You're barely older than I was when I joined Enterprise."

"As I said, the wrappings are different. I'm the same man I've always been inside."

"I understand that, sir. It's just hard to accept that the you I see is my commanding officer."

Jon nodded. "I can understand. But both of us have faced situations that make this look like a cakewalk. I think that we can work though it."

Malcolm agreed. They started the debriefing. When Archer would voice something that Reed questioned, he would stop him in mid-sentence. The third time this happened, Archer looked to the Security head. "Stop doing that."

Surprised, Malcolm asked, "Doing what?"

"Interrupting me," Jon explained.

"Was I doing that?" Malcolm looked genuinely clueless.

"Yes."

Chagrinned, Malcolm apologized. "Sorry, Sir."

Suddenly a thought came to Jon's mind. "Did I do that to you?"

"What?"

"Stop you in mid-sentence."

"Back on Enterprise?" Malcolm remembered several occasions when this had happened.

"Yes."

Smiling, Malcolm conceded. "A few times, sir. But it was understandable. Sometimes I could be a bit difficult."

"Huh."

They continued the debriefing. Malcolm indicated that the data had provided some details concerning the accident on Tanansis V.

Jon didn't see the connection. "How was that related to the genocidal plot?"

Malcolm quickly explained. "Sprong had discovered S'Bont's project. He was planning on revealing it to the Vulcan Trinary Council when he returned."

"What happened?"

"The gift that Sprong was carrying to give to the Tananites had an electronic dampening field hidden inside of it. It was triggered to act once the shuttle was in the atmosphere of the planet. That's what caused the electrical malfunction."

"So the malfunction had nothing to do with the star-geyser hitting our shields?"

Malcolm confirmed his analysis. "No. This was murder."

Suddenly, the loss of his friend Phillip Hurst and the Vulcans took on a whole new dimension. "We didn't have a chance, did we?"

"No, sir. No one was supposed to walk away from that crash."

Jon got up and started pacing. "Terra Prime, the Suliban Cabal and the Temporal Time War, and now this. It's never going to end."

"Sir?"

"It seems that even though we solved so many problems on Earth and have created the Federation, we still keep facing those who want to disrupt it all."

"At least there is hope now, sir. The fact that the Federation is here meant that the Andorians and Vulcans haven't gone to war. The peace still holds."

"For how long?"

"I don't believe we'll ever be free of those whose goal is to cause misery and mayhem. But at least now, we have a chance to stand against them. That's what the Federation can do. We will stand as long as we find more common ground then divisions."

"When did you get so wise, Malcolm?"

"I had a good teacher, sir."


	28. Chapter 28

**A/N: There is a little "romance" in this chapter although I think you will like this one. Since I was asked to provide warnings, I am doing so.  
**

**Merged.**

Chapter 28

Jon had taken his fifth shower that morning. He came out of the bathroom, rubbing his hair with a towel. He dressed in a pair of jeans and tunic style white shirt. He went into the kitchen to fix some tea. As he waited for the water to boil he moved slightly to the sound of the light jazz he put on.

T'Pol would be there soon. She'd finished the semester and had placed both of them on sabbatical. She had contacted him two days before and indicated that she would be arriving today. He knew they would have to decide soon what their plans would be for the future.

He'd just poured the water into the mug when he heard the knock on the door. Looking at his watch, he knew it was T'Pol. He went to open the door. As he reached for the handle, he suddenly noticed his scent again. It upset him that no matter how often he showered, he could still smell himself. Recalling how human scent smelled to a Vulcan, he was sure that T'Pol must find him repulsive.

He opened the door and pulled back a bit from T'Pol, hoping he wasn't offending her too badly. While he knew she had learned to tolerate human scent while on Enterprise, that had been some time ago and she had been living on Vulcan for almost three years now. He looked at her, beautiful in his eyes as she always was. He noticed the subtle scent of the Vulcan cactus flower. "Come on in. I was fixing some tea. Would you like some?"

She nodded as she stepped into the room. "That would be nice." She noticed that the room had changed. Where at one time, she only felt Jon's presence in the room, as she looked around she found items of Vulcan origin, things that she knew Sontek had appreciated, especially the IDIC painting his nephew had created. "How are you feeling, Jon?"

"I'm still finding it a little hard to see myself in the mirror again. I still expect to see Jontek staring back at me. And I'm so young!"

"You know that isn't true, Jon. You're in your fifties."

"Yeah, but I'm physically in my late twenties."

She walked over to him. "You look wonderful."

He backed away again. She looked at him strangely. "Is there something wrong?"

He looked down at his feet. "Uh, well, I think I should stay back. I don't exactly smell pleasant."

An eyebrow went up on the woman in front of him. "Why would you say that?"

"I remember how humans smell to Vulcans. We're not pleasant. My sense of smell is not as keen as it was when I was Jontek, but I can still smell myself. I know it must bother you."

"You're supposed to smell like a human. Why would that bother me?"

"I just don't want to offend you."

She reached over and took his hand, pulling it to her face. She took a breath from his palm. "No Jon. Early in our relationship I might have said that but eventually your scent came to mean something different. When I smell your scent, I feel safe and secure, I feel cared for...I feel loved."

"You're telling me when you smell me, you feel loved?"

She nodded, closing her eyes. Feeling him close to her again.

Jon moved his hand to cup her chin, using his thumb to touch her lips softly. "T'Pol…"

She moved even closer to him. "I thought I'd never experience it again. Now that you are you again…I…" He pulled her closed to him, his desire for her throwing any sense of propriety to the wind. She was in his arms and he sought her lips, passionately devouring them. He felt her passion meeting his own. He moved his lips to her ear and whispered, "I love you, T'Pol. I have for a long time." He continued to trace kisses down her neck.

Answering his kisses with her own, she pulled him towards his bedroom. "Jon, I want to be with you. Totally, completely."

He picked her up and carried her to the room, their mouths continuing to hungrily seek the other. As he laid her down on the bed, he suddenly became tense, nervous. "T'Pol…I can't…I…"

"What's wrong?"

"I can't do what he did to you. I can't treat you like he did."

"Why would you think I'd want you to?"

"I understand now how Vulcan biology works."

"And you are human. Why would I expect you to fulfill Vulcan biology?"

"Because you are…Vulcan."

"Jon, Sontek completed me as a Vulcan. I can't deny that. I felt for him what a Vulcan feels for a bondmate. When in pon'farr there is desire, passion, and an imperative to mate. When the fires of pon'farr are absent, there is commitment, respect, and honor. But there is not love as humans express it. She pulled him down to her, flipping him over, straddling him. "You are human. What I want from you is human biology. I want to feel you touch me as a human does, kiss me as a human does, make love to me as a human does. That's what I want from you."

His head tilted and he gazed at her, a look of confusion on his face. "Are you saying that all you want from me is human sex?"

"No. I said that Sontek completed me as a Vulcan. You complete what humans would call a soul…you complete my soul." Her eyes became sensuous. "Jonathan Archer, I love you. In the years I have known humans, I've learned what this word 'love' means. It is not a Vulcan word. It is a human word. And this Vulcan very much loves the human you are." She bent her face down to his and kissed him. She continued to explore his lips, her tongue lightly touching them, probing, begging entry. He could not deny her.

The kiss continued to deepen, their tongues intertwining. He felt her hands touching him, his hands touching her. They removed each others clothing, wanting nothing to exist between them, even something as insignificant as cloth. The scent of the cactus flower became stronger and as he breathed her in, his body responded as he knew a human male responded with the woman he loved.

She touched him and he moaned. He was twenty-eight again and he was with the woman of his dreams. He flipped her beneath him and slid down; kissing her in all the places he had dreamt of for those many years. He found each spot sweeter than he had ever thought, ever hoped. He returned for awhile to her breasts, savoring each one separately cupping first one and then the other. He allowed his other hand to tease her legs apart softly and slowly. He allowed his hand to play among the hidden treasures this woman had always promised. He heard her moan and the sound spurred him on stronger wanting to bring her the pleasure that he too was feeling.

He felt her enter his mind, timid, wondering if he'd accept the reality of Vulcan again. He allowed any shields he may have built to drop, allowed her to enter his soul. He felt her within his mind even as he entered her body, feeling the sensation from both perspectives as they joined together in that mysterious union that transcends the physical.

He made love to T'Pol. Made love as a human man to a human woman. A human man to a Vulcan woman. Made love with all the tenderness, passion, and desire that was within him. He gave his love to the woman he cherished above all others. He knew her soul and his were joined. They were complete

When they had no more to give, they lay back in each others arms, Human and Vulcan, man and woman, soul and soul.

XoXoXoXoXoXoXo

He awoke a few hours later. Jon looked at the woman in his arms, still sleeping. He couldn't remember ever feeling the way he did at this moment. T'Pol was so much more than his dreams had suggested. He brushed the hair from her eyes and he watched as they opened to him.

"I love you, T'Pol. I love you with every breath I take and with every beat of my heart."

"Ummmm. I too feel this love for you. It transcends all I have ever known."

"I want you to marry me. I want to be with you always. Forever would not be long enough."

"I will marry you, Jonathan Archer. I will marry and I will bond with you for all time."

Jon kissed her and both felt the passions pull them back into the previous night's activity. He made love to her again, slowly, deliberately bringing her passions to the surface. He found that now that T'Pol was in his arms, all the dreams he had over the years were merely shadows. With her in his arms he knew that nothing else in the world was as important as being with her.

When they were satiated, she lay in his arms, his fingers playing through her hair. His mind turned towards the practical considerations of planning their future together. "You know I've been reinstated as Admiral, T'Pol."

"Yes, Jon. Is that what you wish to pursue?"

"Gardner and I have an agreement. The trial is next month. I will need to give him an answer after that."

"If not for you, my planet would be at war. The Federation is important."

"It's not as important to me as you are, my love."

She snuggled even closer to him. She felt something change within.

XoXoXoXoXoXo

Phlox had arrived later that week. He would be meeting with the prosecution to provide what his testimony would be. He knew his forensic work had been well documented. Phlox took pride in his thoroughness.

T'Pol had asked to see him. He had agreed, concerned that perhaps there were problems with Jonathan's reintroduction to his humanity. When she asked him to examine her he was intrigued. He borrowed an exam room at Starfleet medical.

"Are you ill, T'Pol?"

"I don't know. I felt something the other day. It was physical I need to know if it is something to be concerned about."

Phlox nodded and ran a diagnostic scan, intrigued by the results. He ran it again to make sure of his findings. Satisfied that they were accurate he informed her, "You are pregnant, T'Pol. It looks like twins."

"Pregnant?" She was surprised.

Phlox looked again at the scans. "Yes. You are carrying Sontek's children."

T'Pol shook her head. "It's been over three months, Phlox."

"Yes. While it is unusual, this is within gestational parameters of Vulcan biology. My understanding is that the Vulcan fetal cytotrophoblast can exist for several months freely floating in utero before implanting. It is a hold back from when survival of a fetus was not a foregone conclusion on your planet. Until the mother's body signals the knowledge that adequate resources are available, the fetal cytotrophoblast will not implant. What you felt was most likely the implantation in your uterus wall."

T'Pol took this knowledge in. She was unsure how Jon would react. She had felt Jon's concern the two times that she and Trip had learned that they shared progeny between them. She was now carrying two children and she knew he would have to be told.

She called Jon at his office at Starfleet headquarters. His aide answered and she asked to be put through. A few moments later, she heard his voice. "Hello?"

"Jon? Could you please come over to Starfleet Medical, third floor, room 327?"

"Sure, T'Pol. Something wrong?" She could hear concern in his voice.

"Nothing is…wrong. However, I would like to discuss the particulars when you are physically present and not over a communications link."

"Okay. I'll be right over."

Phlox and T'Pol continued to talk about the things she would need to do. Vitamins, exercise, what to expect. Fifteen minutes later there was a knock at the door. Phlox opened it and Jonathan walked in.

"All right. I'm here. What's going on?"

Phlox decided that getting directly to the point would be wise. "T'Pol is pregnant."

Jon brow furrowed. "Pregnant? We've only been intimate a few times and I thought Humans and Vulcans required medical assistance to get pregnant."

Phlox smiled. "First off, Jonathan, it doesn't matter how many times one has been intimate. Pregnancy can happen the first time if the conditions are right. But you are correct. For a Human and a Vulcan to produce progeny, they would need medical help."

"But you just said…"

"I said T'Pol was pregnant. I did not say it was your child…or children."

"Children?" His voice cracked a bit as the word was voiced.

"T'Pol is pregnant with twins."

Jon dropped to the seat of the chair that was next to the door. "How...?"

T'Pol, seeing the look of shock on her lover's face answered, "The pon'farr, Jon."

He looked at her, confusion evident in his face. "It's been over three months. Didn't you know?"

T'Pol shook her head. "Phlox tells me the children just implanted the other day. It is another part of Vulcan biology."

Jon nodded. He considered this news. It would mean that Sontek in some way was continuing. Jon still missed him, missed the interactions they had shared. He felt raising Sontek's children would at least keep his memory alive, continue his line. "When are they due?"

Phlox provided the answer to his question. "From the time of implantation, Vulcan gestation is thirteen months."

He nodded again. "T'Pol, I think we should be married sooner then later."

T'Pol wondered at his comment. "Why, Jon?"

"It may be illogical and human, but I don't want Sontek's children to be born out of wedlock." The words held the finality of decision.

"Wedlock?"

"A human term. It means married."

T'Pol nodded. "If that is what you wish, we can do so after the trial."

Jon agreed. Life had taken another turn. Fatherhood. He wondered where fate would lead he and T'Pol next.

XoXoXoXoXoXoXoXo

The trial was broadcast throughout the Federation. While the main characters of Andoria, Vulcan, and Earth were the most involved, other species watched to see how Federation justice was handled.

The prosecution's case was laid out. The perpetrators had been charged with multiple crimes, the most serious being the attempted genocide of the Andorians. They were also charged with multiple specific murders of Federation citizens including Earth's ambassador, Phillip Hurst, and the Vulcan's Sprong, T'Vlan, T'Nar, and Sontek. The evidence against the perpetrators was overwhelming.

The defense was allowed to present their case but it was weak. There was little that could be offered in defense of such heinous crimes. They were sentenced to life in prison. Those species living under Federation jurisdiction were satisfied. They now felt that they had fair recourse under the court system to address wrongs. They had seen this justice applied. The number of applications for Federation membership rose substantially.

After the trial, T'Pol and Jonathan had married on Earth, a few close friends in attendance. They married at the Vulcan Compound, the ceremony combining aspects of both Vulcan and Human marriage ritual. T'Pol had developed the ceremony in concordance with both Vulcan and Human legal experts so their marriage would be recognized on both planets.

As Jon would soon be raising a family of young children, he'd asked about teaching at the Academy again. A plan was put in place such that he and T'Pol would spend two years teaching at Starfleet Academy followed by two years at the Vulcan Science Academy. This would allow Sontek's children to spend a significant part of their upbringing on their native planet while allowing Jon to maintain his rank in Starfleet. It was a win-win situation for everyone concerned.

When it was a month before T'Pol's time to give birth, they had returned to Vulcan. As the head female in Sontek's line, T'Plorn would help T'Pol through the birth. She had been thrilled to hear her brother would have children although she was sad that he would never see them. She knew that T'Pol and Jon would raise them to honor and remember him.

They gave up Sontek's apartments and stayed at T'Pol's home, the one her mother had left her. Jon had been concerned about Porthos. He had contacted Savan during his recovery after the procedure and had found that the little dog was being treated with care and kindness. Savan suggested that during the time that Jon and T'Pol were on Earth, Porthos would continue to stay with his family. Jon sadly informed Savan that is was unlikely that Porthos would continue much longer. The dog was over fourteen years old, quite old by human standards. He didn't want to put Porthos through the changes that moving back and forth between Earth and Vulcan would entail. He finally decided that Savan's family would be the best place for his companion of many years. Still, while on Vulcan he spent as much time with the little dog as he could.

The day arrived and T'Pol went into labor. As Jon had learned, Vulcan biology could be very unforgiving. He had insisted on being with T'Pol as she gave birth. This had not been recommended. After the two small bundles had breathed their first breath of Vulcan air, Jon understood why. His arms were covered with bruises where T'Pol had squeezed them, almost breaking them a few times. Still, he felt it was worth it to see the two children, a boy and a girl, enter into the world.

Jon gazed at the children as they were being cleaned up. "They are beautiful, T'Pol."

T'Pol was exhausted but she still was practical. "They will each require a name."

"I was thinking that naming the girl T'Les would be nice." Jon had always like T'Les and he knew how hard T'Pol had taken her mother's death.

T'Pol's eyebrow rose. "You wish to name her for my mother?"

Jon explained, "That is the way we often name children on my world."

Finally T'Pol nodded. "T'Les will be…acceptable. What of the boy?"

"Sontek." There was no other name possible for the child in Jon's eyes.

A slight upturn of the mouth accompanied T'Pol's reply. "I concur."

The children were placed into T'Pol arms. Jon did not believe he could see a more beautiful sight. T'Pol would be a great mother. He hoped that he would be at least an adequate father.


	29. Chapter 29

**Merged.**

Chapter 29

Jon sat at the dining room table at their house in San Francisco. They had found a place close to Malcolm and Hoshi's. Their children were quickly becoming best friends.

Jon was starting the first year of his second Earth rotation on the teaching schedule. It was now late summer, 2169. Jon was grading papers in the dining room and he could hear the children running through the house. Well, he could hear three year old Ian and five year old Hikaru running. T'Les and Sontek, at age four, tended to be quiet. Proper little Vulcans.

T'Pol came into the room carrying a pitcher of passion fruit ice tea. She poured some in his empty glass. "Thank you, dear."

"How many students in this class?"

"Twenty four. They want me to open up another section. I don't want to take on too much though with you due so soon."

She kissed the top of his head and he turned to her, putting his hand on her protruding belly. Phlox had figured a way for them to create a child between them. While a human woman wouldn't be able to have a Vulcan/Human hybrid due to the extremes involved, T'Pol's constitution allowed her to carry the child to term. He felt the baby kick and smiled up at his wife's face. "Henry's a strong one."

They had been told the child would be a boy. They had discussed names for the child. T'Pol had suggested Jon's name or a variation thereof. Jon had asked if she'd mind him honoring two men that had meant a great deal in his life. His father and Trip. She had agreed and now Henry Charles Archer's due date was coming up fast.

He stood up, drawing her close to him. He couldn't believe how much he loved his life. Everything was different this time through. When he was thirty two before, he'd just been reinstated to the Warp Three program after a three month suspension. Now he had a wife, children, and a baby on the way. He sighed happily.

The message signal rang out from the computer. Jon went over and opened the screen. It was from the Federation Council. He was being asked to a meeting the following day. He sent back a reply that he would be there.

He finished grading the papers.

The children were being entirely too quiet. He went upstairs to check on them.

He noticed that his and T'Pol's bedroom door was closed. He opened it and his heart skipped a beat. Sontek and T'Les were each holding one of Hikaru's legs. Hikaru had Ian on his shoulders. Ian was reaching for a box at the top of the closet. As the boy reached, his brother lost his balance and Ian started to fall. Archer rushed over and caught the boy. Hikaru and the two Vulcan children fell backwards.

Jon checked see if anyone was hurt. Seeing that everyone was all right save a few minor scrapes, he sent Hikaru and Ian down to T'Pol to call Hoshi to come pick them up. Playtime was over. He then turned to the two Vulcan children. "What did you think you were doing?"

"Ian and Hikaru didn't believe we have real Vulcan dress robes in your closet. We were attempting to show it to them."

"You didn't think this might be dangerous?"

Sontek looked up at Jon. "'You can't win battles by playing it safe.' I believe you said that in one of the speeches you gave during the Romulan War."

Jon gave his son a sharp look. "This is completely different."

T'Les's forehead creased. "I don't know why it would be different. We wanted to get the box down. That is like winning. We chose not to play it safe."

"Why didn't you just ask me or your mother to get it down?"

T'Les continued. "Mother told us that she wants to keep the robe safe. She said that the gold runes are delicate and the robe shouldn't be played with."

"So you just decided to ignore what she said and get it down anyways?"

Sontek explained. "We felt there was a flaw in her logic."

Jon explained that when their mother told them something and they felt she was wrong, they needed to ask her about it instead of taking things into their own hands. He told them that they could have injured their two friends and they would have been saddened if that had happened. He saw that the two hadn't really thought their own logic through. He told them they should go to their rooms to think about how things could have turned out.

Neither of them put up a fuss but went straight to their rooms. Then again, they never fussed. It was one of the paradoxes of raising Vulcan children.

XoXoXoXoXoXoXoXo

He arrived at the meeting a few minutes early. He wasn't quite sure why he was being asked to participate. He still worked with Starfleet and the Federation on an as needed basis but mainly he taught. He found that this was something he enjoyed doing, helping the next generation to learn the lessons of the past so that they could forge a new future based in peace.

The head of the council was a Tellerite by the name of Couoc. "Do you think that being early will get you in our good graces?"

Jon shot him a look of distain. "I think that your calling me here is a waste of my valuable time."

The Tellerite was pleased. He'd always liked the fact that this human could argue with the best Tellerite, often winning the point. It showed the human respected his species. "Yes, well, it is a matter of grave concern."

"It better be."

The Vulcan Ambassador, V'Run spoke. "Admiral Archer. We have a situation that we believe you may be able to alleviate."

"I'll do what I can."

"You might have noticed the Andorian Ambassador is not present."

Jon'd been around Vulcans enough to know that the case was being built. He nodded "Yes. I wondered about that."

V'Run stated simply, "Unless things change, there is a high probability that Andoria will pull out of the Federation."

"What?"

The Ambassador from the Yanasic Conclave spoke next. "Need we you to be Ambassador to Andoria."

Jon looked at the council. "I'm not interested."

He looked at Jon sadly. "Then lose Andoria we will."

"I can't believe that is true."

The human representative, Stephen Tanis, provided his input. "You know the previous Ambassador was a human, Jon."

"Yes. David Martin." Jon had known David for many years. He'd been one of Erika Hernandez's junior officers. He'd quit Starfleet to join the diplomatic section of the Federation. Jon had always thought he'd climbed the ladder too quickly

"David was also working with Section 31. We didn't know that. He had passed on some sensitive information that the Andorians felt breached their security. I don't blame them."

Again, Section 31. That group had their hands in way too many pies. "Has he been recalled?"

"Yes, and censored. However, the damage has been done."

"What do you mean?"

"As Ambassador Moartua of the Yanasic Conclave just pointed out, Andoria is ready to pull out of the Federation. You know they are one of our strongest allies."

Jon agreed. "Yes. They were one of the original signatories of the charter."

"And a permanent member of the council," added Ambassador V'Run.

"Isn't there some way to appease them?"

Steve Tanis laid it on the line. "Yes. You. They said they won't pull out if you are the next Federation Ambassador to their planet. They say you are the only one they trust."

Jon shook his head. "No. I can't do this. I have a baby about to be born and two young children. I can't just go running off to Andoria. And asking my Vulcan family to live there is out of the question. They are cold enough on Earth."

"I should have known you would be afraid of doing what we need of you." The Tellarite needled him.

Jon shot back "No more afraid than you are of having Andoria leave while you are the head of the council." Jon thought about the situation before addressing them all. "I'll have to discuss this with my wife. It's possible we might be able to work out some arrangement, but you will have to be somewhat flexible. I won't leave my family."

Ambassador Tanis told him, "That's all we ask, Jon."

He headed out of the room, sure that somehow fate was again pulling his life in another strange direction.

XoXoXoXoXoXoXoXoXo

T'Pol was not giving him a way out. "You have to go, Jon."

"You're about to have the baby. I can't." Jon was still adamantly fighting the idea of taking on the ambassadorship.

"The Federation needs you. You've worked too long and hard to let this go."

"I'm willing to listen to any plan that allows me to help the Federation that does not represent a cost to my family." He laid down his terms. He knew that if there was a way to achieve them, T'Pol would find it and the reasoning would logical.

T'Pol thought for a moment. "You could live on Andoria and the children and I can live on Vulcan."

Jon shook his head. "That still three days away from you and the kids."

"Vulcan's do this all the time. Think about T'Plorn. Remember, you had to give Sontek's nephew the blade for his tal'oth because his father was on a mission."

"Yes, I remember." He didn't like where she was going but he had asked her.

"This is no different. Except you will be within three days of us and not some where hundreds of lightyears away."

"I don't know, T'Pol…" He knew then that he would go. She was right. He couldn't let Andoria leave.

"You can work three months on and then take a two week break. Offer them that."

"I'd rather stay with you all the time."

"At the cost of having the Federation come apart at the seams? Once the Andorian's leave, how long before others do?"

He sighed. "I know, T'Pol. Your logic is impeccable. I just don't like it. And I'm not leaving until Henry is born."

XoXoXoXoXoXo

Henry Charles Archer was born at 3:42 a.m. on September 5, 2169 at the Vulcan Compound in Sausalito, CA. He had his father's green eyes and his mother's ears. He was the first Vulcan/Human hybrid that had been born to a Vulcan woman.

Jon had been there to watch his son take his first breaths of Earth's air, just as he had witnessed his other two children born on Vulcan. Sontek's children. This birth was easier on T'Pol and he only had a few bruises on his arms. As they put his son into her arms, he gazed at the two of them. His wife. His son. He knew that his father and mother would have been proud of this little child.

Jon had another week with the newest addition of his family before having to leave for Andoria. T'Pol had been right; the council had accepted his terms and Andoria had promised not to pull out of the Federation. Jon was sure that somewhere in this situation an Andorian named Shran was involved. Fate just seemed to bring that reality to bear. Again and again.

T'Pol looked at her newest son. He was in many ways the same as her first two but there was a major difference. Vulcan babies were quiet. This one cried loudly. T'Pol looked to Jon. "Do you think he's hurting?"

"No. I just think he wants to announce to the world he's here. Human children just cry like this."

"Will he stop?"

"God, I hope so. Hopefully, he isn't one of those babies with colic."

"What is colic?"

The baby did start settling down after T'Pol offered her breast to him. He started a strong steady pull for her milk.

"It has something to do with gas I think. Too much gas and the baby's intestines hurt. Makes them cry."

"How do you know so much about human babies?"

"Other then being one myself?"

She gave him a glare.

"Okay. I've been reading about human babies."

"Did you read about Vulcan babies before Sontek and T'Les were born?"

"Of course."

"You have been a good father to them."

"I hope so. You know, I look at Sontek and he looks so much like his father. T'Les just looks like you."

"And you spoil her."

"Father's prerogative."

T'Pol gave him one of her upturned lips. God, she was so beautiful. He questioned for the thousandth time why he was heading off to the ice caves of Andoria.

_"Because the Federation is of benefit to your family as well."_

_"T'Pol?"_

_"Yes."_

_"We have a bond again?"_

_"I wouldn't be in your head if we didn't."_

_"How…"_

_"Our son. Just as when Trip and I had a bond when Elizabeth was alive."_

_"T'Pol?"_

_"Yes, Jon."_

_"Will I feel you like this on Andoria?"_

_"Yes. We'll never be apart. Never and always touching."_

Suddenly he felt better about this mission. Not happy, but at least T'Pol and he would be in constant contact if they needed to be. It felt good to feel the bond again.

XoXoXoXoXoXoXo

Arriving at the Federation Consulate on Andoria, Jon was thrilled to find that the building was kept at a toasty 72 degrees. That had been one of the concerns he had, that he would never be warm. The time he'd spent with Shran in the ice caves had shown him how cold things were on Andoria.

His first official duty was to meet with the Military Leader of Andoria, Shemn. As he walked into the Great Hall, he noticed he was right. Shran was standing close to his leader, whispering some thing to him.

"You are Admiral Archer?" The antennae of the Andorians in the room were all at full attention, focused at the human.

"I am." Jon's voice was strong and clear.

Shemn's antennae moved slightly indicating his caution. "I have read the reports that Shran has sent us over the years. He says you are a human that can be trusted."

"I try to live to that standard."

With antennae pointed to him in warning, Shemn. stated, "Do not squander that trust, human. We have seen what your species is capable of."

"There is a diversity of people on our planet. I hope that you will not judge all of us by one foolish man's actions."

The antennae indicated surprise. "You speak well, Archer. I believe Shran may have been wise suggesting you to us."

Archer had studied the protocols of the Imperial Court. He gave a slight bow before saying "Andoria is well served by your actions, Shemn. I will be honored to provide my assistance. May the Ice Gods hear my words."

Seeing the antennae settle into a more relaxed mode, Jon knew that he had passed his first hurdle. He bowed again and turned to leave, walking quickly and assuredly from the Hall. He knew that the action would be taken as a show of strength. He could not show weakness in the Great Hall. To do so would be a disgrace.

_"I am proud of you, adun"_

_"You were listening?"_

_"Of course. We are one."_

_"How is Henry."_

_"He is well"_

_"And Sontek and T'Les?"_

_"They miss Ian and Hikaru."_

_"They will make new friends."_

_"Yes. I'm registering them for school tomorrow."_

_"T'Pol?"_

_"Yes, Jon."_

_"I love you."_


	30. Chapter 30

**Merged**.

Chapter 30

T'Pol noticed again that her husband was not next to her in their bed. She looked at the clock. The digital timepiece showed three a.m. She knew she could reach out with their bond but instead she went into the room where she knew she would find him. She entered the semi-dark room softly and noticed the almost empty glass of scotch on the table next to the leather chair, the back of which faced her. She knew what she would see when she came around to the front. She found him, his face in shadow.

She cajoled him, "Jon. Come to bed."

"No. The nightmare will only come back again." His eyes were haunted as he recalled the pain his subconscious mind continued to present to him.

"It's just a dream." She said it as one who seldom dreamed.

Jon looked up to her, "This one is too ugly to face. I should've done something. I just went along with it."

"You couldn't have known this would happen."

He released a bitter breath. "I don't get it T'Pol. Your people are logical. There is nothing logical about any of this. Fourteen years old! Who in their right mind would push a fourteen year old child into the desert to survive for four months with only a knife? It just doesn't make sense."

T'Pol knew that Jon was looking at this from his human perspective. "Yes, Vulcans are logical. We live by logic in most of our activities. However, you know that many of our ways date back to the before time, back before the awakening. Back to a time before logic saved us from destroying ourselves. We still follow our traditions. They may be illogical, but they are what make us Vulcan. The tal'oth is one of those traditions."

His voice was cracked as he stated, "This was one of the traditions you should have left behind." He stopped, taking a final drink from the glass of Scotch, numb to the heat he should have felt as it flowed down his throat. Numb because he'd become used to it over the course of the night. "She was only fourteen, T'Pol! T'Les shouldn't have died this way, in a desert trying to survive her tal'oth."

"All Vulcan's do this at fourteen. It is our way. And Sontek is alive. We can be thankful for that. Our son has returned to us."

"I am thankful, T'Pol! God, I can't imagine what it would be like if we lost both of them. I know I should be able to separate this, but I can't. It's too hard."

T'Pol looked at him sadly. She stated, logically, "While T'Les's death is unfortunate, there was not a guarantee of success. Not all who enter the desert for their tal'oth return alive. I'm sure you knew that."

"Unfortunate! Is that what you call it? She was your daughter, T'Pol, the same as mine! I don't know what I believed. I guess I just didn't want to think of what the consequences could be. I wanted to believe they would both be safe, both come home. I…" His eyes shut tightly, his face mirroring raw pain. "…I can't believe that I gave her the blade she used to take her life. I handed it to her with pride. Pride! What kind of father does that?"

T'Pol had seen this man in pain more times then she should have. Physical pain, mental pain, emotional pain. She wished she could take it from him but knew it was a part of who he was. He may not like it but he wouldn't hide from it either. "One who is father to a Vulcan. I grieve that she is gone, Jon. Losing T'Les is like losing a part of me. It was unfortunate that the Sehlat attacked her. She tried everything she could to save herself, but it was not to be. Vulcan parents teach their children how to survive but ultimately, no one can know what they will face during their tal'oth. Death happens. It is natural. And there is nothing we can do to change it."

"There is nothing natural about pushing your child into a dangerous situation like this just to meet some ritual milestone. It didn't have to happen. She didn't have to die." A part of Jon knew he was putting a human face on a situation that would not take kindly to that mask. He still wasn't willing to accept what he now knew was the reality when dealing with a truly alien culture. He wanted this to make sense to him and he couldn't reconcile the two.

"Vulcan's have been following the tradition of the tal'oth since before we had a written history. To not participate in it would not be acceptable. The only Vulcans who forego the tal'oth are those who have been gravely disabled, and often even they will attempt it. Statistically the rate of failure is low."

His head shot up suddenly, heated emotion flowing from his lips. "T'Les wasn't just a statistic, T'Pol. How can you be so cold about this? You were her mother, for God's sake!"

T'Pol was silent a moment. "Trip didn't understand either."

"What?" He wasn't expecting this.

"Trip didn't understand why I didn't feel the pain of Elizabeth's loss the same way he did. He accused me of being made of ice. He accused me of not caring for our child." She stopped. "I never thought you would say that to me."

He looked to her, knowing his words had hurt her. Knowing she was correct, at least about this being a part of being a Vulcan. If T'Les's biological father had been alive, he would have handed the blades to T'Les and his son with the same pride that Jon had felt when he had fulfilled that role. Jon knew Sontek would have sent his two children into the desert and would have understood when one did not return. He would have understood her taking her own life to end the suffering she felt when she knew there was no way out. He would have felt pride that his son had passed the test and been grateful to welcome him back.

He thought about what they had determined about his daughter's final moments of life. T'Les had tried to escape the Sehlat. Had there been only one, she probably would have succeeded. But the tracks found around her showed she had run into a mother, teaching it's young to kill. T'Les had fought a losing battle. As she ran from one, the other would attack her. From what the forensic analysis showed, she was most likely being eaten alive when she took the blade and sliced her own throat, spilling her blood into the Vulcan sand. The Sehlat's had eaten their fill of her and had left the rest in the desert for a scavenger to finish. If a flitter car flying over the desert hadn't seen her body, they might never have known even this.

Jon had continued to have nightmares since she had been brought back to the city morgue, three months after she had started her tal'oth. He and T'Pol had been asked to identify her body. There had not been much to identify. T'Pol had looked away, wetting his shoulder with her tears. They had each held the other, in pain together. Since then, in the nightmare, he saw her face. She looked just like her mother. When he saw T'Les, he saw T'Pol.

Jon thought about how the rest of his family was handling this. Henry had been confused. A part of him saw his father struggling with T'Les's death. Henry felt that pain as well, seeing the human heart with his own. Another part of him saw his mother, dealing with the situation logically, although he understood her pain was deep and real. He knew this was her way. Jon thought back to his own existence as a hybrid of the two species. While there was synergy there was also division. He hoped his son would find a way to reconcile the opposing halves.

Sontek had returned from his tal'oth a month after his sister's death, saddened to hear of her loss but accepting it. At first Jon had been angry that Sontek had accepted her death so readily. Then he realized that Sontek had also faced the cruelty of the desert during his tal'oth. That Sontek knew that a wrong move or a random occurrence could have turned the tables. Jon had tried to accept this as well, but the pain was too new.

"I'm sorry, T'Pol. I know you are hurting as well in your way. That I'm experiencing this from my human heart, but how can I not? T'Les was my little girl. To have lost her this way, I…" He stopped, putting his hand to his face. "I just can't believe she's gone."

T'Pol reached out along their bond. _"Time will heal this somewhat. I know you are hurting. You would not be the man I married, the man I bonded with if you were not. But the wounds will someday not be as fresh. We have each other to get through this."_

Jon nodded and accepted her gesture as she sat down on his lap and wrapped her arms about him. She held him, knowing that for a human, the loss of one's child was completely devastating; bringing forth an emotional response that was overwhelming. She knew he needed comfort now. When Elizabeth had died, Trip had grieved deeply. She felt Jon's grief was even deeper, having raised T'Les for fourteen years and therefore having more time to develop the relationship that had so violently ended. It would take time for him to lock this hurt away.

While she grieved deeply due to the loss of T'Les, it did not affect her in the same fashion. She was Vulcan, and while it did not lessen the loss, she would be able to address it in the manner of her species. He would grieve as a Human. She would grieve as a Vulcan. They both were deeply affected.

XoXoXoXoXoXoXoXo

Jon returned to the Federation Council two months after T'Les's death. The others who served with him conveyed their condolences, blending the concepts of death that each brought from their individual planets and those that they had learned were common to Earth. He appreciated their concerns.

He found that the work of the council kept him from thinking about the situation as much, gave him something else to occupy his mind. He also found that T'Pol had been right. Time was healing although he'd never be able to fully accept the death of his daughter. He decided to focus on the times they'd shared together such as her recitals when she played the Vulcan Lyre. He'd only missed two due to his duties.

The first was an Imperial Guard review. After Jon, still Jontek at that point, and T'Pol had stopped the genocidal plot against his people, Shran had requested they be made honorary members of the Imperial Guard. It had been bestowed and up until Jon had taken the position of Ambassador it had been just that. Honorary. After he started living on Andoria, however, his willingness to participate in functions had gone a long way toward soothing Andoria's pride that had been damaged by the actions of his predecessor. He'd had to resign his commission in Starfleet during that time as well as the Andorians were concerned that the same situation would arise with Starfleet as with Section 31. T'Les had been asked at the last minute to play for the arrival of the new Ambassador to Vulcan from Earth, Thomas Cooper. Jon had been unable to make it back to Vulcan for the performance, although T'Pol had sent him a recording of it.

The second time was after he'd left his Ambassador duties. He'd been called to serve on the council. There had been a potential situation brewing between the Klingons and the Tellarites. Jon had been involved in the activities surrounding that crisis and he'd missed her performance at the Starfleet Academy graduation. 

Still, he'd tried to be the best father he could. He had loved his daughter and would have done anything for her. T'Pol had been right. T'Les'd had him wrapped around her little finger. He just wished she was there to wrap him around it again.

His four year term on the council was coming to a close. He thought about his service to his planet and the galaxy. He'd given ten years of his life to serving the Federation. Before that, he'd spent the bulk of his lifetime in Starfleet. He'd even served as acting Chief of Staff for a time.

He was now physically 44 years old. He thought back to where he was at this time before, halfway through Enterprise's ten year mission. Chronologically, he was 67 years old. He suddenly felt the weight of those years. So much had happened.

How did they live with their longer life spans? T'Pol was now eighty four and still young by Vulcan standards. He figured that she could conceivably live another 120 years. At best, Jon figured that with medical advances, he might have another 70 years at best. It depressed him to know that as much as he wished to grow old with this woman, he would be old and she would still have close to an entire lifetime to lead.

_"This is not unknown on my world, Jon."_

_"You heard me thinking?"_

_"I felt your sadness."_

"We'd like for Jonathan Archer to serve another four years on the council." He suddenly was pulled back into the conversation in the council.

"Excuse me?"

"We'd like to have you continue as Earth's representative on the council."

"Um. I'm not sure I…" 

_"Jon, this is where you need to be."_

_"It will be another four years."_

_"But it is worth it. You know that there is still much work to be done. The committee you are on to codify the Federation Directives for exploration are important. There have been several instances of severe contamination of a culture. This work is necessary."_

_"I know."_

_"Then accept."_

Jon sighed. He was suddenly reminded of an Earth saying, 'behind every successful man is a woman.' T'Pol certainly fulfilled that role. "I am willing to serve if you will have me."

XoXoXoXoXoXoXoXoXo

Henry had turned fourteen the week before. It was mid-September. His brother, Sontek was entering the Vulcan Science Academy in a week and would be leaving Earth. "I just don't see why I can't come to Vulcan as well."

Sontek turned a calm and stoic face towards his sibling. "Henry, I will be in studies. There will not be time to pursue other activities."

Henry nodded. "Yes. I know. But I still want to go to Vulcan. And now that Father has been nominated for Federation President, I'm not sure we'll go. I don't know how I'll be able to fulfill my tal'oth if I don't get to Vulcan sometime this year."

"Patience, sa-kai. But I wouldn't count on you having a tal'oth." Sontek could tell by the look on his brother's face and words of response as he took in this information, that he had not considered this possibility.

"What? Why not?" Henry's face mirrored confusion.

Sontek explained. "Father doesn't want you to go. Mother wishes to leave the choice to you."

"I have to do it, Sontek. How else will I ever be seen as Vulcan?" The younger boy was showing more emotion than was seemly for a fourteen year old male.

Sontek understood and commented, "You are also human. It would be acceptable for a human to not participate in the tal'oth."

"Other Vulcans would see that as weak." Henry had a determined look on his face. When his countenance took on this configuration, Sontek clearly saw that Henry favored his father more then their mother. T'Les was the one that had received the majority of her looks.

"Yes. But it is a fact that humans are not as strong as Vulcans. It would be logical to accept that you wouldn't face the desert." It was a logical argument.

The determination continued, this time answering what was perceived as a challenge. "You know that I can survive in the desert as well as you."

"What I know doesn't matter. Father still carries the memory of our sister who did not return. He does not wish to face a repeat of that. T'Les's death still brings sadness to him."

Henry's face turned analytical. "That is not logical. There is nothing that will bring T'Les back to us. He should accept that she has died."

Sontek agreed but knew it was wishful thinking. "While our Father can often produce an argument worthy of any Vulcan, he is still human. I do not believe he will ever be logical where T'Les is concerned. You should know this better than anyone."

Henry nodded his head. "I know. Still…"

"You need to accept that sometimes what we want and what we get are not compatible." He placed his hand on Henry's shoulder and then continued to pack.

XoXoXoXoXoXoXoXo

When the troop returned from the Boy Scout campout, Jon was there to pick up his son. He'd been proud that Henry had decided to follow in his footsteps, working towards becoming an Eagle Scout. He was at first annoyed and then concerned when he received the news.

"Henry didn't go with us this time."

"What?"

"He was at the last meeting before we left. He said that due to your duties, the family needed to go to Paris. That he wouldn't be back until after we left. He had a note from you."

"Do you still have it?"

"Yes." The leader pulled out the paper which had explained the absence of Henry Archer. "We missed him. He usually is the one who helps the newer boys the most. He has a real gift working with them."

Jon read through the note. The information was presented in a logical fashion but held just enough human phrasing to be seen as something a parent would have written. It explained the dilemma the Archer family was facing regarding Jon's recent nomination as Federation President and expressed regret that Henry would be unable to participate in the week long campout. The problem was, Jon knew he hadn't written it.

_"T'Pol. Did you know anything about this?"_

_"No, Jon, I didn't."_

_"Do you have any idea where Henry could be?"_

_"I can check with his friends, although most of them are in the Boy Scout troop."_

A few hours later, they were becoming gravely concerned. Henry seemingly had fallen off the face of the Earth. Jon decided to contact Malcolm.

"Hello?"

"Malcolm? I have a problem."

His former armory officer was ready to help. "What's going on?"

"We can't find Henry." There was a bit of panic to his voice.

Malcolm caught the sound and wondered if the boy had been kidnapped. Politically motivated. "Do you think he's been taken?"

Jon didn't think so but simply wasn't sure. "We don't know. He gave a note to his Boy Scout leader I'd like to show you. It's awfully close to my handwriting, but I never wrote this."

"Are you at your house?"

"Yes."

"I'll be right over."

Malcolm arrived about fifteen minutes later. He looked over the note. He listened as Jon described his conversation with the Boy Scout leader. His own sons were in the troop. They had gone on the campout. Hoshi had gone to pick them up and they had just arrived back when Jon had called. He put in a call to his wife.

"Hoshi?"

She sounded distracted as if in the midst of preparing dinner. "Hi, Malcolm. What's happening. You left so suddenly."

"Jon has a situation." He paused. "It Hikaru around?"

"No. He went over to Michael's. They have a project in science due this week." He could hear the sound of the knife hitting the cutting board.

"How about Ian?"

"Yes. He's here."

"Can you put him on?" He waited until Hoshi put his younger son on the phone. "Ian?"

"Yeah, Dad."

Malcolm knew his children were honest. He also knew they valued their friendships. "I need to know something and it's very important that you're totally honest with me."

"Okay." Ian voice held an edge, as if he was concerned his father might push him on something he didn't want to tell.

"Do you have any idea where Henry Archer might be?"

"Uh…well…" Definitely something he didn't want to tell.

"Ian. I know that you and Henry are friends. However, this is serious. His parents are very worried."

"Well, I'm not sure. He said he had to prove he was as Vulcan as any full blooded one. He told me he wouldn't see me for awhile." That was the truth, although not all of it.

"You didn't think this might be something to tell some one about?"

"Dad. I'm not going to rat out my friends."

"We'll discuss this later, Ian."

"Yes, sir."

Malcolm hung up the phone. He looked at the worried face of Jon and the waiting face of T'Pol, knowing that she was concerned as well. She just didn't show it. "Do you have any idea of what Henry would mean by telling Ian he had to prove he was as Vulcan as any full blooded one?"

Jon's face turned white. "He wouldn't…he couldn't…how could he…?"

T'Pol turned to her husband. "He is our child. It does not surprise me that he can be rather...creative obtaining his goals."

Malcolm looked confused, "Would you mind telling me what you are talking about?"

T'Pol looked towards Malcolm. "It is likely our child is no longer on Earth. Considering he's had a week, he's probably already on Vulcan."

XoXoXoXoXoXoXoXo

It had taken awhile for the information to be pieced together. The Vulcan Spacedock Security had indicated that a young Vulcan male of about fourteen years had arrived a week before on a passenger transport and had been met by another young Vulcan male, approximately eighteen or nineteen who the younger boy indicated was his cousin. The boy's papers were all in order and as a citizen of Vulcan; no other flags had been raised.

When contacted, Sontek stated that he had no idea that his brother had taken a transport. He had last spoken to Henry after he had arrived on Vulcan to attend the Academy. Henry had told him he hoped Sontek enjoyed his classes. When Sontek heard that the other male had been designated as Henry's cousin, he suggested they contact T'Plorn.

T'Plorn told them that she had contacted them two weeks prior when Henry had contacted her, asking if he could stay with the family a few days while Jon and T'Pol attended a symposium. The communiqués she had received had certainly seemed to be from them. The arrangements had been made and her husband's nephew, Sarek, who had been staying with the family during his first year at the Academy, had been the one to pick Henry up. Henry had stayed with them for two days and then indicated that his parents had returned to their home on Vulcan and he was going there. She'd asked for and received confirmation of his arrival. When the communiqués were analyzed, it was obvious that the same author of the letter to the Boy Scouts had written these.

Past that point in time, it was as if the boy had disappeared off the face of Vulcan. Jonathon confirmed that the lock had been expertly picked on his desk. He had never noticed, never felt it was a problem. There was only one thing in that drawer. The blade that T'Les had carried into the desert.

Jon felt a fear grip his heart unlike any he had felt before. The closest analogy he could make was when he had brought T'Pol into sickbay, after their sojourn on the Seleya. He'd been fearful he would lose her. Now he felt the same fear about his child.

T'Pol and Jon left immediately for Vulcan. 

XoXoXoXoXoXoXoXoXoXoXo

Another week had passed. The Vulcan Government did not wish a diplomatic situation on their hands and the fact that the human nominee for the Federation Presidency was requesting they find his son was causing great concern. Jon and T'Pol had worked their way through the bureaucracy up to the Trinary Council. They had a meeting with T'Pau. They entered her office, the one in which the Kir'Shara was first revealed to the Vulcan High Command. The one with the stained glass renderings of Mount Seleya.

T'Pol offered the traditional Vulcan hand 'V.' "It is agreeable to see you, Jon and T'Pol, although I wish we met again under better circumstances."

Both T'Pol and Jon returned her greeting. "It is agreeable to see you as well, T'Pau. Thank you for seeing us."

They sat down together in a small grouping of chairs. "How may I be of assistance?"

Jon spoke. "Our son has decided to attempt his tal'oth."

T'Pau asked the logical question, "How old is your son?"

T'Pol answered. "He is fourteen."

"Then he should be ready." She did not see the problem and wondered why they had been contacting various departmental heads seeking action.

Jon shook his head. "You don't understand. Henry is not full Vulcan. He is half human. I'm not sure he'll survive in the Vulcan desert."

T'Pau's head tilted. "As I recall, you handled it well when we carried the Kir'Shara."

Jon looked at her and answered plainly, "That was different. I was older than fourteen. I'd had extensive desert training. And I had the help of Surak."

T'Pau thought for a moment about what Jon had said. "Your son wishes to be seen as a Vulcan. Otherwise he would not have attempted this. He should be allowed to find if his blood is Vulcan or Human."

Jon shook his head. "He is just a boy."

"If his heart is Vulcan, he will survive." T'Pau still did not understand the problem.

Jon words were more heated. "I know that is not true. T'Les was Vulcan through and through. She did not."

T'Pau was surprised. "You lost a child in her tal'oth?"

T'Pol answered, "Yes. Sontek's and my daughter."

"Then she died a Vulcan."

T'Pol replied. "Indeed."

Jon wasn't going to let this end without some action being taken. "T'Pau, I feel you do not see my dilemma. Regardless of the concept of whether my son is Vulcan or Human, I wish to have him found. He did not have our permission to travel. He did not have our blessing to engage in his tal'oth. He also took the blade he carries without permission. I would like my son to be located. We need your help."

T'Pol weighed the situation. While she felt that the boy deserved a chance to prove himself or die trying, she also knew that this situation could diplomatically present a difficulty. She agreed to help them.

XoXoXoXoXoXoXoXo

It had been four months. Jon had lost hope. At least with T'Les, they'd recovered her body. Not a trace had been found of Henry. The Vulcans had spent the first month focused on finding the boy. This had tapered off over the months as there continued to be no sign of Henry Charles Archer.

At first, Jon had thought that the fact that T'Pol's and his bond was intact it meant that Henry had to still be alive. After all, the bond she had with Trip disappeared after Elizabeth died. When he'd suggested this, T'Pol had explained that because Elizabeth was still an infant her bond with Trip was tenetive. Since their relationship was only friendship, the bond had died. The bond with Jon, in contrast, had strengthened through the fourteen years of Henry's existance. This meant that the bond would continue whether or not the Henry was still alive.

He knew that T'Pol had not been responsible for Henry's disappearance, but her statements that he should be allowed to choose what he wished to do in this matter upset him. He felt that by saying so, she'd given him the motivation to strike out on his own.

The loss of another child had hit Jon hard. The fact than Henry was both his and T'Pol's made it even harder. He had never shown favoritism with the children, treating them equally. He certainly considered himself the father of T'Les and Sontek. Still, now, in the stillness of the home that T'Pol's mother had left her, he considered the fact that Henry was his flesh and blood.

He'd never thought to be a biological father before he'd begun raising Sontek's children. The joy he felt in parenthood, difficulties and all, had lead T'Pol and he to seek out Phlox's help. The Denobulan doctor had been happy to continue the research that had lead to the first successful biological Vulcan/Human hybrid. While one could argue that he, himself, had been a successful hybrid, Henry had been born that way.

The day the boy was born, Jon had held his son, recognizing the line that reached back through his father, and grandfathers, and great-grandfathers, and all other others to the misty beginnings of humanity. He had been humbled by the experience.

Growing up, Henry had wanted to emulate his older siblings. They were Vulcan and so he was as well. He'd also wished to be like his father. It had been a difficult childhood for the boy who was of Earth and Vulcan and neither one at the same time. Yet for all the difficulties the boy faced, including quite a few on both planets that decided that the concept of a Vulcan/Human hybrid was not one that should have been pursued, he had been growing up to be a man that Archer felt an inordinate amount of pride in.

Now that was gone. He'd never see his son decide the path he would take. Instead, all indication was that the boy had been lost to the desert sands of Vulcan.

Jon had heard that he had been elected to the Federation Presidency even though with the situation at hand, he had not campaigned. The landslide vote had been satisfying on one level, but at this point his heart was not in it. He was wondering if he should resign before he even began.

Jon got up to go into the courtyard. He found the sound of the fountain sometimes soothed his mind. It was late day as he walked into the courtyard noting the final rays of the Vulcan sun for that day. As he watched the shadows play, he found himself growing tired. So tired. He closed his eyes against the feeling.

"Father?"

It was a dream. It had to be a dream. He'd had dreams after T'Les had died as well although they had been nightmares. Maybe this was a dream because Henry hadn't actually been found.

"A'nirih?"

It seemed so real. He couldn't imagine why he was dreaming in both English and Vulcan. That seldom happened. He could hear in Henry's voice the changes that accompanied adolescence. The crack that happened when the boy's emotions were triggered.

"Father, are you sleeping?"

Jon opened his eyes and saw his son, sunburned badly, his clothes worn, and his body gaunt. Holes in the fabric had been repaired using the fibers of a plant similar to southwestern yucca on Earth.

"Henry!" He reached out, wanting to hug him tightly, but afraid that he would hurt him if he touched the damaged skin.

Henry's eyes were steady but concerned. "I'm sorry I had to go against your wishes, Father, but I had to do this. I had to prove my human half was stronger than they thought. That my blood was truly Vulcan."

"Where have you been? We've had all of Vulcan searching for you."

"I hid when I heard the flitter-cars or when people were around. I saw you and Mother once."

Jon was surprised. His eyes and forehead crinkled. "When?"

"When you were searching the Forge. I was in a cave. I heard you talking. I know you thought Mother was somehow responsible for my doing this. That she had encouraged me."

Jon was incredulous, remembering the day they had joined the search in the Forge. "That was two months ago."

"Yes." He paused. "Do not blame Mother for this. I wished to do this. I wished to show my Vulcan heart."

Jon looked at him with both pride and sadness. He knew that Henry had truly passed through a rite of manhood and had suceeded brillantly. His son had chosen his path and Jon was unsure what this would mean. "You have chosen then? You will turn away from Earth, from humanity? You will be Vulcan?"

Henry's mouth upturned slightly. He stated with surety, "No. It would be illogical to ignore the other side of the equation. I am of Earth. I am of Vulcan. I will cultivate the best of both, just as my parents have taught me."

T'Pol had overheard the conversation through the bond and she had come rushing back to the house. She hurried into the courtyard. She knew he had chosen to follow the tal'oth. She would great him with Vulcan respect.

She spoke, her voice calm. "I am pleased to see you, sa-fu.

Henry's head bowed slightly towards her. "I it agreeable to see you as well, ko-mekh."

"You have given us cause to worry."

"I apologize but it was necessary. I felt you would understand."

"I do understand, Henry. I am proud of you. But if you ever do something like this again, the way I may address it may be …illogical."

They figured it would be best to have Henry examined by a Healer. He and T'Pol headed to the flitter-car, their son between them. The world had shifted again and Jon found that he looked forward the role he would play as the Federation President. He understood the IDIC as never before. Only time would tell what the future would bring.

**FINIS**


End file.
